


A Spoonful of Sugar (Still Isn't Enough)

by Inkandquills, writersstudy



Series: Roleplay Fics [17]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Smut, Eventual mpreg, Getting Together, M/M, Poverty, Slow Burn, Sugar Daddies, like the slowest fucking burn, sugar babies, this document is almost 400 pages kind of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 130,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkandquills/pseuds/Inkandquills, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersstudy/pseuds/writersstudy
Summary: Changkyun and Jooheon are on their last legs and just desperate enough to sign up for a sugaring site. Alternately, Hyunwoo may have bitten off way more than he can chew.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon, Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Im Changkyun | I.M/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Lee Jooheon/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Lee Minhyuk/Yoo Kihyun
Series: Roleplay Fics [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1256117
Comments: 85
Kudos: 141





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Monbebe! Welcome to the clusterfuck that is our roleplay series! This is a 389-page monster of a story that we wrote almost three years ago and are finally posting for you to enjoy! Yees, you read that right, almost three years ago, which means Wonho is very much in here and we will not be taking him out.
> 
> If you're new to our writing, we go back and forth with every paragraph, so you'll see us switching perspective often and even trading characters around. For this, Jooheon is primarily written by Michelle (Inkandquills) and Changkyun and Hyunwoo are primarily written by Ash (writersstudy). Chapters will be posted on Tuesdays and Fridays!
> 
> We hope you enjoy!
> 
> Please do note: this is a sugar daddy au, so it is heavily based on a storyline of poverty. We are both white upper class Americans and our understanding of poverty comes with a Western lens and Ash's political science degree. Especially as we are beginning to post this during the holiday season in the middle of a pandemic that we have so far been lucky to not have been directly touched by, we want to acknowledge that some of the situations in this story are exaggerated or blown out of proportion for the sake of storytelling. We are happy to share any donation links that you, the readers, would like us to, and will also include links in the end notes of the chapters as we go along.

“Hey, Changkyun,” Jooheon called from his spot at the kitchen table, “can I borrow twenty bucks to get my oil changed? I’m like 5,000 miles over needing it.” 

“Bold of you to assume I have twenty bucks,” Changkyun replied without looking up from the textbook his nose was buried in. As he said it, the lights in the apartment flickered and went out. 

Jooheon groaned loudly and let his head fall against the table with a thunk. He figured this would happen eventually, but it really wasn’t great timing. They had chosen to pay the water bill this month in hopes that the electricity would stay on until they could scrape together the funds for it. “I’ll pick up extra shifts this weekend,” he said, forcing his head off the table so he could text his boss.

“No sleep, we collapse like men,” Changkyun replied. He dug his phone out of the couch, searching through the contacts for his own boss’ number. He hadn’t paid his phone bill this month, so he couldn’t actually call until Jooheon was done with the phone.

Jooheon groaned again. “We really need a better system than this,” he said. He knew he was stating the obvious, but it was more wishful thinking at this point. Once he fired off a text, he pushed himself off the chair and turned on his phone flashlight so he could navigate into the living room safely.

“I can pick up another job,” Changkyun said, turning serious as Jooheon sat next to him, “you’re a lot closer to graduation than I am. I can afford to lose a semester.”

“No, no,” Jooheon said quickly, “you can’t afford to have an extra semester’s worth of tuition to worry about.” He flicked the flashlight off and passed the phone to his roommate. “Maybe we can talk to the landlord about paying rent for next month late so we can get our electricity back,” he suggested instead.

“We’re already overdue on this month’s,” Changkyun said, “we’re about two millimeters from getting kicked out. I can handle four jobs.”

“No you can’t. I told you already; you’re going to do well in school so you can graduate on time and there’s no way you can do that with four jobs,” Jooheon said with a tone of finality, “let’s do some job hunting and see if we can find anything that pays a little bit more. The store will let me take anything that’s expired so we can scrape by with food and hope for the best.”

“Hyung, you’re closer to graduation,” Changkyun argued, “I can always defer for a semester because I’ve just started. It’ll be harder for you to get a job after graduation if you defer now.”

“Neither of us are going to defer,” Jooheon said stubbornly, “we’re both going to get on our laptops and use the last of our battery to find jobs that will be better for us.”

“Dumbass,” Changkyun muttered under his breath, “get your charger; we’ll go to the library.” Like hell he was wasting his battery when he still had essays to finish.

“You wanna say that first part a little louder?” Jooheon challenged. He snatched his phone back and flicked the flashlight on so he could find his backpack.

“Yeah, you’re a dumbass,” Changkyun called over his shoulder as he headed to his bedroom to grab his work uniform. He had an hour and a half before he was due at the drive thru window and he certainly wouldn’t be missing his shift.

"Don't get snarky or I'll make you walk to work," Jooheon called after his roommate. He had been lucky enough to get a relatively cheap used car back in high school that, knock on wood, still ran well. Between school and work they needed a car, so he always made sure they had enough for gas, which was getting harder and harder.

Changkyun made mocking noises to himself as he stuffed both of his work uniforms and some clean clothes into his backpack. He would have to go straight from one job to another then to class, so he had to take his entire fucking wardrobe with him.

"Yo, Changkyun-ah, let's go," Jooheon hollered after a few minutes of waiting, "these jobs aren't going to find themselves." Tensions ran high when they were out of money, which was almost always. He was growing sick of it, but for now there was nothing they could do other than live day by day and hope they didn't rip at each other’s throats too much.

Changkyun jogged to catch up with Jooheon, following the older man down to his car and glaring at the loiterers near their building. As much as they ribbed each other, Jooheon was Changkyun’s best and only friend and he would kill anyone who even thought about hurting him.

“It’s probably easier if you take the car for the afternoon,” Jooheon relented as he drove off. He only had a couple afternoon classes and then a night shift at a grocery store that was within walking distance from their apartment. No matter how they split the car someone had to walk, and Jooheon didn’t mind it. Although the weather was starting to get colder and he wasn’t quite sure what they were gonna do when it started snowing.

Changkyun hummed. While his workplaces were in the same plaza, they were both pretty far from campus and he wouldn’t make it to class on time if he had to walk. “Let’s hope the car makes it through this afternoon,” he said quietly.

“Hey don’t jinx us,” Jooheon said quickly. The last thing they needed was for the car to stop working. Putting gas in it was one thing, but getting the oil changed was another. He pulled into an empty space near the main library on campus. “Alright, let’s see what we can find before I have class,” he said, switching the car off. He snagged his backpack from the back seat and led the way to the library. Hopefully a couple of the comfy chairs in the back were free.

Changkyun followed Jooheon into the library and was glad they were able to find a quiet spot in the back. He got set up and started hunting.

Jooheon had the websites he used to find jobs down to a science. The university had plenty of work study jobs with great perks, but he already worked for the radio stations on some nights and they wouldn’t give him a second on campus job. After about thirty minutes of searching, he found a job at a local cafe that was looking for weekend help from 7-3. His night shifts at the store didn’t start until 6 which gave him enough time to grab dinner and do some homework before he had to get back out. Not thinking much of it, he fired off an application before showing it to Changkyun.

Changkyun was drowning. Every job he found he had either already applied to or already been rejected from. He was glad Jooheon was having some success. After an hour of finding nothing, he pushed his laptop away and slammed his head down on the table. “Maybe I’ll just be a hooker,” he mumbled.

“No don’t do that. Besides I hear strippers make better money,” Jooheon joked. He didn’t know if it was technically true, but he wanted to lighten the mood a little bit. “Just get through work and class and try again tomorrow. If this new job for me works out, we should be okay for a little while. Hang in there, kid, we’ll get through it.” He reached out to rub Changkyun’s shoulders supportively.

“I think escorts get paid the most,” Changkyun said, picking his head up, not joking even a little bit. “Look it up. It’s my only option I think.” With that, he collected his stuff and snagged Jooheon’s keys so he could go to work.

Escort? What the heck was Changkyun talking about? Jooheon decided to do a little bit of digging and was surprised with what he came across. There were quite a few websites out there and Jooheon found himself scrolling through a couple. He quickly decided this was simply not an option and headed off to class instead.

To no one’s surprise at all, Changkyun completely slept through his class after working two full shifts overnight. His professor didn’t even bother to check on him anymore. He knew Changkyun would rather be seen as a lazy student than talk about the actual problem. By the time he got home, he felt disgusting. He was covered in fryer grease and probably smelt like a sewer. When he went to take a shower, he found that their water had been cut off too. It finally hit him that this was no longer just a situation of being poor; this was quickly becoming life or death. The only thing left for them to lose was the apartment itself and with winter quickly approaching, that wasn’t an option. He didn’t care what Jooheon thought. Changkyun would take the first job he could get.

Jooheon was exhausted by the time he finished his shift. It was pitch dark outside, but he was used to this so he set off for home. He made it to the apartment in record time and was surprised to find Changkyun still in his work clothes. “Hey,” he greeted quietly, “how was work?” He had a funny feeling something didn’t go well, but he wanted to ask regardless.

“Water’s off, heat’s off,” Changkyun mumbled. He was laying on his back in the middle of the living room floor, contemplating. “Basically drowned in fryer grease this morning and I think part of my shirt is actually burnt onto my back.”

Jooheon rubbed his temples tiredly and slumped onto the floor. He leaned against the wall and tipped his head back. This couldn’t be happening. “Have you...have you considered moving back in with your parents?” he asked slowly. At this rate they would lose the apartment within a week and there was no way he was going to see the freshman get thrown on the streets. Jooheon had vowed to take care of him ever since they agreed to be roommates and he intended on keeping that promise.

“Not an option, Heonie, you know that,” Changkyun said, “we can sell all the furniture, sell our laptops, sell everything. That should get us to next month.” All of his documents were backed up on a cloud, so he’d at least be able to work at school, and it wasn’t like he ever slept in his bed anyway. Scratch that - it wasn’t like he ever slept.

Jooheon stiffened at the thought of selling his laptop. It was practically his lifeline, but it didn’t seem like he had any options left. All of his demos he created for his production class were on there and he really couldn’t afford to lose them. “Let’s get rid of some of the furniture and see where that gets us,” he said quietly.

“All of it,” Changkyun said, “we’ll have to sell everything in this room just to get what this stupid couch cost us, that’s if we get anything at all.” Most of their furniture was broken in some way, some pieces even borderline dangerous, but what other option did they have? “Did you look into that escort stuff?”

“A little bit, but that’s not an option. We’re not...we’re not selling ourselves for a job. If we sell this furniture and I pick up a few more hours on the weekends, we’ll be okay,” Jooheon said. In all honesty it was really good money, but the idea simply didn’t sit well with him.

“Jooheon, what else can we do?” Changkyun asked tiredly, “we’re working ourselves to death and it’s not even worth it if we’re just going to end up passing out and sleeping through the classes we work so hard to pay for. I’d rather have one really good paying but slightly dodgy job and be able to pay the bills and stay in school than work a bunch of less sketchy jobs and feel constantly on the edge of death.” The way he saw it, even if they sold every single thing they owned, it would still never be enough.

“You are nineteen for fuck's sake, Changkyun,” Jooheon said heatedly, “I can’t....no, I won’t let you sell yourself like that. I know it’s good money and I know it would save us, but we can’t live like that.”

“We can’t live like this either!” Changkyun burst out, finally sitting up, “you’ve had that fucking cough since July, I don’t think I’ve showered in two weeks, and we’re both working ourselves to the bone to get nothing! How is escorting any worse than this? At least it’s money! It’s free food! It’s not like we’re getting paid for sex; we’re getting paid for company.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. He was stuck. They were running out of time and options. He felt like a failure. He was supposed to be the one taking care of both of them and look where they ended up. “I...I don’t know,” he whispered hopelessly. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in them.

Changkyun slumped. He knew Jooheon felt like it was all his fault and it wasn’t. “What if we tried something...similar, but not so anonymous?” he suggested. He figured part of Jooheon’s hesitation came from not being able to thoroughly vet anyone. If they tried something less anonymous and more...singular, maybe he’d be more willing to go along with it.

Jooheon hated the “we.” He wanted absolutely nothing to do with this idea, but he also knew he couldn’t let Changkyun do it alone. “Whatever you want Changkyun-ah,” he said tiredly, “I’m going to bed and I’m taking the car tomorrow because I have work in the morning.” He pushed himself to his feet and kicked his shoes off before making his way through the apartment towards his room.

Changkyun pulled his laptop out of his backpack and cracked it open. Hopping on their neighbor's wifi, he started searching for the best thing after escorting: sugaring. It was basically the same as escorting, except just for one person that they would be able to choose. Much safer, in his opinion. He and Jooheon were both queer as fuck and if they could find a sugar daddy that wouldn’t mind not having sex with them, then they’d be set at least until Jooheon’s graduation. He knew there were guys like that out there, that got off on lucrative spending alone, he just needed to find one. “Jooheon-ah, send me that picture of us from my graduation!” he called out.

Jooheon wished he hadn’t heard Changkyun, but he knew he couldn’t ignore his roommate considering how small the apartment was. He sent Changkyun the picture before collapsing into bed. There was no point in changing considering all of his laundry was dirty as it was. He curled up into a ball and faced the wall, knowing full well he wouldn’t be getting a good night’s rest.

Changkyun made a profile on the most reputable site faster than he had made anything in his life. He tossed something cursory about being a package deal with no sex in the bio and made the profile live. Hopefully, they would have some result by morning.

Jooheon nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard his alarm go off. He quickly snuck out of the apartment without waking Changkyun and drove off to work. Today was going to be a long day, he could feel it already.

Changkyun had somehow managed to get a day entirely off. No classes and none of his jobs had him on their schedules. He allowed himself to sleep in a little then immediately checked the profile when he woke up. To his surprise and delight, there were quite a few messages already.

Jooheon was right. Today was one of the longest days he had in a long time. It only made matters worse when he found a letter from the landlord in the mail stating that they had one week to produce the rent that was late and the rent that would be due for the next month or they would be evicted. He nearly burst into tears on the spot but he kept it together and made a beeline for his room the minute he walked in.

Changkyun had spent his day sifting through the messages. Most of them were either too creepy or an obvious bot but there were a few that he thought might lead somewhere. “Jooheon-ah!” He called when he heard the older man get home, “come look at this guy!”

“I’m sure he’s great,” Jooheon said flatly. He didn’t even care that he was brushing his roommate off. He just wanted to go to bed and forget today ever happened. His stomach grumbled loudly, but he ignored it, just as he did every night, and flopped into bed.

Changkyun huffed. Jooheon was not gonna get away with ignoring him like that, no sirree. He got up and made his way to the other man’s room, plopping down next to him on the bed. “Look,” he demanded.

“If I look will you leave me alone?” Jooheon grumbled, rolling himself over. His eyes widened when he saw the picture Changkyun was showing him. “There’s no way that’s really the guy. He’s too...perfect.” Jooheon had to admit the guy Changkyun had found was stunning, but that didn’t make him like this idea any more.

“Nah, I Googled him. Same name, same face, and he’s loaded. Numbers match his birthday too. Could still be a catfish, but it’s not like we’re meeting him tonight,” Changkyun said, “I haven’t even messaged him back yet.” He pulled up the message box, showing Shownu61892’s simple “You two are cute” message and his own empty reply box.

Jooheon shook his head and rolled back over. “Good luck with that,” he muttered. He had a pounding headache and wanted nothing more than to sleep it off. He knew he should bring up the letter to Changkyun, but he didn’t want to upset his roommate.

Changkyun typed out a quick “Thanks, you too ;)” and sent it before closing the laptop and cuddling up behind Jooheon. It was obvious that the older man didn’t feel well and he wanted to help if he could.

Hoseok was in the middle of an email when his computer dinged. He switched tabs and smiled to himself when he saw the message. “Hey, Kihyun-ah get over here,” he called. A moment later, Kihyun popped his head into the room. “What’s up?” he asked. “We, I mean, Hyunwoo hyung got a message,” he replied, spinning the laptop around. Kihyun smiled and typed out a reply: “Ah a flirt I see. So what brings you two to this site?” He spun the laptop back around. “Hyunwoo hyung would say something like this right?” he asked. “Sure,” Hoseok replied, hitting send before he even read it.

Changkyun bit his lip as he saw the message that popped up when he opened his laptop a few hours later. He knew he needed to tread carefully. If he exposed his and Jooheon’s full situation, then this Shownu61892, or Son Hyunwoo, as his profile claimed, could use that to manipulate them into something they didn’t want to do. “What else do you sign up on this side of the site for?” he replied, staying vague on purpose.

Hoseok decided to handle this message on his own. "Well, I'm presuming you’re both college students in need of some extra money. I'm just trying to figure out what that would be for. Tuition? House party?" he replied. Of course it would be easy for the boys to lie to make themselves look better, but Kihyun would be able to sort through that no problem. If they were going to convince Hyunwoo to do this, they had to present decent candidates.

“Tuition is handled and we don’t do house parties,” Changkyun typed back, not able to say much more without exposing the depth of their problems. This Hyunwoo guy seemed nice, but that didn’t mean anything.

"Well I know you didn't come here to make friends. I'm sure we can come to an arrangement to handle what you need, I just need to know what that is," Hoseok replied. He was a little concerned with how cryptic whichever of the boys he was messaging was being. What could they possibly need that they couldn't come right out and say?

“We just need to supplement our current income,” Changkyun finally revealed, hoping that would be enough for Son Hyunwoo to be happy. Hopefully, he wouldn’t need much more than that.

Hoseok frowned. This seemed innocent enough, but he wasn't quite sure they would quite be able to convince Hyunwoo yet. "Kihyun-ah! I think this will work," he called. Kihyun had never responded faster to Hoseok in his life. He popped into the room, breezed through the messages, and typed out a reply. Hoseok spun the laptop around and froze when he saw what Kihyun typed:  _ I'd like to meet in person before we decide on anything final _ . "What are you doing?" he asked incredulously, "we have to convince Hyunwoo hyung to do this before we start sending him out to meet people." Kihyun just rolled his eyes, "it's gonna be a lot harder for him to say no now." Hoseok just groaned and closed his laptop. 

Changkyun’s eyes widened when he saw the response. Jooheon was not going to like this at all. “I’m not sure when we’ll both be free next,” he typed back.

"You're handling telling Hyunwoo hyung," Hoseok said, glaring at Kihyun. His phone dinged from its spot in his desk drawer. "Relax, Hoseok, it'll all work out," Kihyun said nonchalantly. He opened Hoseok's laptop again and read the new message. "It can't be that urgent if they aren't jumping on the opportunity to meet so we'll have plenty of time to convince Hyunwoo hyung to do this." He quickly typed out a reply: _ I look forward to hearing back from you when you find time in your schedules to meet. _

“We both work multiple jobs and attend classes, so it may be awhile before we find time, and when we do it may only be a few minutes,” Changkyun warned, “we understand if you move on in the meantime.”

"They said they could probably only meet for a few minutes. That's perfect! Hyunwoo just has to go in, agree to whatever terms he wants, and come home. There's no way he can say no to this," Kihyun said after reading the newest message. "Except for the part where he can absolutely say no, but I have faith in you," Hoseok said. "Wait a minute," Kihyun began, "this was  _ your _ idea. Why is it all getting dumped on me?" "Because you were the one that went off course," Hoseok replied simply, "besides you were always the better negotiator.” He smiled sweetly at the younger man. 

Hyunwoo was grateful for his friends, he really was, but not when they came storming into his office with Hoseok’s laptop and twin smug smiles. He sighed. “What?” he asked after a minute, “What is it?”

"You can thank us later, but we did you a favor," Kihyun replied, dropping the laptop on the desk, "now before you turn it around, this was all Hoseok's idea. Although I do have to admit I think this could be a great thing for you."

Hyunwoo really wasn’t sure what to expect when he turned the laptop around, but it certainly wasn’t a sugar daddy site. “What the hell, guys?” he said, closing his eyes tiredly."Just think about it," Kihyun said quickly, "you have a ton of extra money you'll never find a reason to use and this way you'll get a little more company that isn't us." Hoseok rolled his eyes, "not that we don't like spending time with you, but we figured this would be good for you. You really do need to get out of the office more."

“Look, I know this works for you guys, but I don’t have the time to handle two college kids right now,” Hyunwoo said with a sigh, “how am I even supposed to know if they’re legit?”

"What do you mean you don't have time?" Kihyun asked with a raised eyebrow, "if you have time to send an email you have time to go meet with these kids and determine for yourself if they are legit or not." "Don't forget you do have other people who can handle running your company for you," Hoseok added.

“I can’t just disappear to take some kids on dates,” Hyunwoo argued, “my answer is no.”

"You aren't in the office on weekends," Kihyun countered, "or at least you shouldn't be. If these kids are that desperate for money they'll adapt to your schedule." "You should take a little more time to think about it," Hoseok offered, "you know better than anyone it's not good to make such hasty decisions."

“If they’re so desperate, they would make time to meet,” Hyunwoo countered, crossing his arms. He raised an eyebrow at his two friends.

Kihyun smiled to himself. "Well if you're so concerned about why they can't meet with you I can send Minhyuk to investigate. You saw the messages. The kids claim they have work and classes. On top of finding out if that's true or not, Minhyuk can make sure they are legit," he offered. 

“Fine,” Hyunwoo finally conceded, “if Minhyuk can say that they’re legit, I’ll consider it. Consider!” he emphasized, “now go, leave me alone. Cretins.”

Kihyun smiled victoriously and gave Hoseok a high five. “Like I said, you’ll thank us later,” he said, already pulling his phone out of his pocket. Hoseok picked the laptop off the desk and guided Kihyun out of the office. “See ya later, boss,” he called over his shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

Changkyun didn’t get the chance to talk to Jooheon about Son Hyunwoo again until a few days later. He had given up on going to class, opting instead to pick up extra shifts to try and turn the water back on while Jooheon tried to scrape together rent. It was a miracle they hadn’t collapsed yet. “I know you don’t like it, but that guy wants to meet with us,” Changkyun told Jooheon when they finally had more than five minutes together, “I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

Jooheon wanted to be angry with Changkyun, he really did, but he couldn't find the energy for it. He had managed to pull together enough for last month's rent and convinced their landlord to give them another two weeks for next month’s, but that didn't mean anything. Despite starting the new job the upcoming weekend, this was still their best option. "We don't have time to meet him," he said tiredly, "how do you know he's not going to fuck us over anyway?”

“We don’t,” Changkyun said, “but he’s the only one that hasn’t disappeared on me yet. He even checks in every day even though I still haven’t answered him. I think it’s worth a shot, Heonie.”

"What do we do if this doesn't work?" Jooheon asked seriously. He didn't have a backup plan yet. Although he was in the process of trying to find some freshman Changkyun could move in with, he wasn't successful yet. If they ended up on the streets, they would be fucked even more than they were now, and Jooheon wasn't about to let that happen.

“I don’t know,” Changkyun said sadly, “this is really the only option left, Heonie.” If they didn’t manage to secure this guy, they’d be out on the streets and probably wouldn’t make it through the winter, if Changkyun was being honest.

Jooheon hated everything about this. He hated that Changkyun was right. He hated that he had to go to this meeting. He hated that this might not even work. But most of all he hated that they had ended up in this position to begin with. Half of him wanted to tell Changkyun to just do it himself, but there was no way he was letting the younger man go through with this without him there. "Tell him we'll meet with him," he finally mumbled.

“When?” Changkyun asked, “the next time I have free is Sunday night at, like, ten.” He hated that it was so hard to find the time.

Jooheon sighed. "There's no way this guy is gonna meet us that late at night. And he probably works all day during the week so that's not an option. I have no idea..." he trailed off. Their class and work schedules never lined up, but something was going to have to give. "I can change a shift, but we have to be sure he'll meet with us before I do that. I'm not losing out on a shift because of this guy. We can't afford that."

“I’ll see if he can meet at that time and go from there. As long as it’s within the next week, we’ll be okay.” Any later than that and they’d be in some major trouble.

"At night?" Kihyun asked when Hoseok read him the latest message. Hoseok nodded in reply. "He is not gonna like that at all," Kihyun said with a shake of his head, "tell them yes." Hoseok blinked and looked up at Kihyun. "We can't afford to piss him off more; he'll really say no." "In the wise words of someone I know, 'just relax, it'll all be fine.' Minhyuk already agreed to check them out between tomorrow and Friday so we can let Hyunwoo hyung know on Saturday," Kihyun said. "Oh last minute even better," Hoseok said with a shake of his head, "at least he won't be able to back out." "Exactly!" Kihyun agreed.

“He said that’s fine and it’s up to us where,” Changkyun informed Jooheon the next morning as they left, “I don’t want to meet at the store, but I think there’s a park nearby.”

"Anywhere that's public is fine," Jooheon said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, groaning when he realized it was only at 47% battery. He quickly texted his boss to request a shift change for Sunday, and slid his phone back into his pocket. Hopefully the little time he had in the library this morning was sufficient enough to charge it fully; he wouldn't have a chance to go back until tomorrow.

“You already scheduled a meeting with them?!” Hyunwoo yelled when Hoseok informed him on Saturday afternoon, “what the hell, Hoseok? I don’t even know anything about them!” “Good thing I do,” Minhyuk said as he waltzed into the office, Kihyun trailing behind him.

Kihyun pulled back one of the chairs in front of Hyunwoo’s desk for Minhyuk to sit in. He wore a confident smile. Minhyuk told him everything he found out about the boys before they came in here and they were absolutely perfect for Hyunwoo. They just had to get the older man to see that.

“These kids are legit as they get,” Minhyuk said as he sat down, “they both work three jobs on top of going to class, they share a shitty apartment in a building that’s one more code violation from being condemned, and I don’t know how old that picture they have is, but they don’t clean up like that anymore. I’ve been keeping tabs on them all week and they both usually go to class in work uniforms and I don’t think either of them has showered. The younger one, CK, falls asleep in half of his classes because he works overnights. With all the working they do and how long people say they’ve been doing it, I think this is the last option for them.” Even without talking to either boy, he had managed to figure out this much.

“See, hyung. These kids  _ need _ you. You’re literally their last hope and if they are that hard of workers I’m sure they wouldn’t mind doing some jobs here and there for the company. There’s nothing that could go wrong and once they get settled you could always let them go,” Kihyun added.

Hyunwoo was still a little doubtful. Having built this company off of his own back, he knew what it was like to not have anything, but to have to reach this point must have been a whole new level of humiliating. “Fine,” he finally conceded, “I’ll meet with them and see what I can do to help. That doesn’t mean that there will be a relationship though. I know they’re going to lowball me a number, so one of you needs to give me an approximation of what they’ll actually need.”

“Well they’ll need to cover the rent of their apartment, any utilities, food, and I think that’s the basics. They have to have a car to get around so gas and who knows what repairs it needs. For school they said tuition is covered, but there’s gotta be books or other things they might need. Oh and their phones,” Kihyun said.

“Whatever it is, just get me that number before this meeting tomorrow night,” Hyunwoo said, waving them all off, “now go, I have a conference call in five minutes.”

Jooheon usually looked forward to the weekend. It meant he could focus on earning money without the distraction of class. Except this weekend had to end with them meeting this Son Hyunwoo. He still hated this idea, but he was trying to keep a positive mindset. It was just so that they could get enough money to survive. That was all.

Hyunwoo wasn’t about to admit that he was creeped out by the rundown park, but he was. It was in a sketchy part of town and he had been smart to dress down for this. Hopefully, he wouldn’t get mugged while waiting.

Jooheon parked their car on the street, a little ways down from the park. “Let’s get this over with,” he mumbled, shutting the car off. He was originally going to put Changkyun fully in charge of the talking, but that didn’t seem like such a good idea in hindsight.

“Come on, it’s not gonna be that bad,” Changkyun said, climbing out of the car and waiting for Jooheon, “he seems nice enough and I bet he’s scared out of his mind being in this part of town. We have the upper hand!”

“The upper hand?” Jooheon scoffed, “yeah we’re really the ones with the upper hand in this situation. No money, one phone, a car that’s about to break down any minute, clothes that haven’t seen a washer in months. Right, upper hand.” He slowly climbed out of the car and sighed quietly. He shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged behind Changkyun.

Hyunwoo glanced around warily and was relieved when he finally saw two familiar faces heading toward him out of the darkness of the park. He stood up to greet them formally and finally got a good look at them. Minhyuk was right; their profile picture was very old. Dirt aside, they both looked like they had aged ten years since it had been taken. “Nice to meet you,” he said awkwardly, “I’m Hyunwoo.”

“JH,” Jooheon greeted as politely as he could, “thank you for meeting with us.” While he hated the idea more than anything he wasn’t going to sabotage it. Hyunwoo looked exactly like his profile picture, which was both a good and bad sign. It meant they hadn’t been catfished, but it also meant they would have possibly have to deal with this very good looking man. Jooheon still couldn’t tell if that made matters better or worse.

“Have you two eaten yet?” Hyunwoo asked politely. He didn’t want to offend them, but this park was skeeving him out and he’d much rather meet somewhere well lit and warm.

Jooheon snuck a look at Changkyun. “No, we haven’t,” he admitted slowly. To be honest Jooheon couldn’t think of the last time he ate dinner. Besides it was much too late to eat anyway.

Changkyun threw Jooheon a bored look. “There’s a McDonald’s down the street if you want to go somewhere with more light,” he offered, trying to make up for his best friend’s awkwardness.

Jooheon sighed sadly. Maybe it was best to let Changkyun do the talking. It was too obvious he didn’t want to be here. Judging by the relieved look on Hyunwoo’s face, he liked that idea so Jooheon turned around and fell into step behind his roommate.

“Can you try to act like you don’t hate this?” Changkyun hissed to his roommate as they led Hyunwoo toward the restaurant, “if we fuck this up, we’re done for.”

“Excuse me for not being an actor,” Jooheon whispered back, “how about you just do the talking?” He figured it wouldn’t take long to explain what they needed and hopefully they would be in and out of the restaurant quickly.

“Try to at least not look miserable,” Changkyun said as he pulled the door open, “or maybe do, maybe that’ll help.” Hyunwoo bypassed them and headed for a table in the corner, away from the workers at the counter.

Jooheon refrained from smacking Changkyun and instead followed Hyunwoo to the table. He was hyper aware of the smell of the restaurant and his stomach tightened. All he wanted to do was be home in bed. Fifteen minutes, he told himself, this would only take fifteen minutes. He slid into the seat across from Hyunwoo and waited for Changkyun to sit down.

Once both boys had sat down, Hyunwoo got up and returned with some apple pies and sodas. It wasn’t the healthiest option, but it was obvious that both boys were starving. He wondered when the last time they actually ate was. “So why don’t you two tell me a bit about yourselves,” he said as he sat back down, “I want to know a bit about you if I’m going to be helping you out.”

Jooheon eyed the pies suspiciously before pulling one towards himself. “Well we’re college students. I’m a junior and my roommate is a freshman. We both work a few jobs each, but it’s never enough to cover costs each month,” he said, cutting right to the chase. There wasn’t much more about him that was relevant to this deal. Jooheon took a small bite of pie and hummed happily. He had almost forgotten what eating something that wasn’t stale was like.

Changkyun glared at Jooheon. At this rate, the older boy was going to scare Hyunwoo off. “What he means is that I’m a comp sci major and he’s a music production major, we’ve been friends since high school, and our financial situation is coming up just short of where we need to be,” he said, trying to make it all seem a little more personable.

Jooheon caught Changkyun’s disapproving look and dropped his eyes. He intertwined his hands in his lap and distracted himself by twiddling his thumbs. He really wasn’t trying to ruin this, but his nerves were getting the better of him.

Hyunwoo hummed. “I have some questions that I’d like honest answers to,” he said diplomatically, “first of all, when was the last time you two ate a proper meal?”

Jooheon’s eyes widened and he braved looking up.  _ That _ was what Hyunwoo wanted to know? “Beginning of last week,” Jooheon answered. Every Sunday night he took as much food from the store as he could and they got lucky enough to have enough for one decent meal before they had to go back to hunting for scraps.

Hyunwoo kept his face neutral. “And your apartment. Do you have heat? Water? Electricity?”

Jooheon shook his head slowly. “We’re working on getting the water turned back on now,” he answered. They could live without electricity, but as it was getting colder it was hard to decide between heat and water.

“And your heat? Your electricity?” Hyunwoo didn’t want to be rude, but it was pretty obvious the boys were suffering.

“Electricity isn’t a priority,” Jooheon said with a shrug, “we charge our laptops and phones at school. We’ll try and get the heat back on for the following month, but that depends on if we have enough extra after rent.” He didn’t mean for everything to sound so horrible, but that’s exactly how it was. 

“And what does that all add up to for you, monthly?” Hyunwoo asked, folding his hands under his chin.

"About nine hundred," Jooheon replied. There was also food, and gas, and the oil change he still needed, and their phone bills, and another four year's worth of tuition between them, and textbooks. The list went on forever and Jooheon's head hurt just thinking about it.

“And I’m sure you have a ton of other expenses,” Hyunwoo stated, “so what are you looking for from me? I know you’ve paid your tuition already, but what would you like me to cover?”

Jooheon took a deep breath. “Some food if I can’t get enough from my job and our phone bills. I can swing gas, but my car really needs an oil change,” he said hesitantly. He didn’t mean to sound greedy, but he couldn’t help it. There was so much they needed and it was hard to choose what to live with and what to live without.

“How much do you owe in overdue bills?” Hyunwoo asked next, “I apologize for asking so much, but I’m trying to get a good feel for what you actually need, rather than what you claim to need.”

“We haven’t paid for heat since March, we still owe the late fee for our rent last month, a couple months of electricity, and last month’s water,” he said honestly. Jooheon bit his lip. “I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot.”

Hyunwoo did a quick mental calculation and smiled slightly. “I don’t want to offend you but this is all nothing for me. I doubt that both of your tuitions for four years would make a significant dent in my savings,” he said, “I don’t want you to lowball me because I promise nothing you could ask for would be too much. Another question: how often do you fall asleep in class? Or work through the night and go to class right after?”

Jooheon had to take a second. Was this really going to work? This man claimed to have plenty of money to support them; it just all depended on what he wanted in return. “All of my classes are in the afternoon, but on the weekends I go right from one job to another. Kyunie is the one who goes right from work to class,” he replied.

“How often do you fall asleep in class?” Hyunwoo asked, turning his attention to the younger boy. “Pretty much every class,” Changkyun admitted, “I’m failing everything right now because I can’t stay awake to get assignments and my laptop and my schedule aren’t reliable enough to complete them.” He hadn’t told Jooheon that, so he hoped the older boy would leave it be for now.

Jooheon’s eyes widened. He knew Changkyun was falling asleep in class, but he didn’t quite realize it was this bad. He wasn’t angry at the younger man; he was disappointed in himself for not paying close enough attention. With a soft sigh he hung his head again, the half eaten pie long forgotten.

“I have an amount in mind,” Hyunwoo said finally, “but I will have a few requests in order to make this...mutually beneficial. I want to know that you’re actually using the money and keeping yourselves healthy and in the black.”

Jooheon almost snorted at the word healthy, but kept his composure. “We can send you receipts of all our bills,” he began, “I’m not really sure how to prove we’re healthy, but we can easily send you any financial information you want.” He was really trying not to get his hopes up, but it was hard. He just hoped there weren’t many more requests and that they weren’t anything complicated.

“I’m not going to control your spending and I don’t really care what you spend the money on, but I want proof that you’ve paid your bills. I also figure that you’ll want to continue working, but I’d like you both to only work one job and put more focus on school,” Hyunwoo listed out, “pass your classes. That’s all I want.”

“That’s...that’s it?” Jooheon asked almost incredulously. “I’m sorry,” he added quickly, “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful I just didn’t expect these to be your terms.” If that’s all Hyunwoo wanted they could manage this new set up without ever having to meet again.

“I’m not interested in an intimate relationship and I quite honestly don’t have the time for one,” Hyunwoo said honestly, “but you’ll be putting the money to much better use than I ever will, so as long as I know you’re using it, that’s enough for me.” He pulled a business card and a pen out of his pocket and wrote a figure on the card before sliding it over, figure side down. “Is that enough?”

Jooheon hesitantly reached out for the card and flipped it over. He gasped quietly and pushed it over towards Changkyun. "That's too much," he said quickly, "we really just need help covering everything until we can build up a little bit of savings, which shouldn't be more than six months at the most."

“I can do it in a smaller weekly payment if you’d prefer,” Hyunwoo said patiently. He wasn’t going to let them talk him any lower.

Jooheon shook his head. "I don't mean that it's too much all at once; I mean that it's too much in general," he said. Most of the money would end up in an account for emergencies, which would be nice to have, but unnecessary. If anything he felt guilty taking that much money. 

“So save it up,” Hyunwoo said with a shrug, “use it for emergencies or to buy yourself something nice once in a while. I bet you both need new laptops and new clothes and there’s all sorts of online programs they make you pay for now for school. It’s important to have a rainy day fund.”

Jooheon leaned against the back of the booth and nodded slowly. He snuck a look at Changkyun before forcing his eyes back to the man sitting across from them. "Thank you, Hyunwoo-ssi," he said sincerely, "you're literally saving our lives. I promise we will send you proof of our bills, drop the extra jobs, and focus on school." He was still wary of this whole thing, but he hoped Hyunwoo upheld his end of the deal. 

“Can we have a moment to discuss it?” Changkyun asked finally. Hyunwoo nodded and got up, heading toward the bathroom. Once the man was out of sight, he turned toward Jooheon. “All of our bills, all of our past dues, we can get you to the doctor, I can start my meds again. Clothes, Jooheon, we can do  _ laundry _ . If he’s willing to give us that much for no return,  _ why are you protesting it _ ?”

"Because I still don't trust it. Because we really don't need that much. Even five grand would be more than enough to cover everything you want. I don't want to lose all of my jobs. I'm doing absolutely fine in school," he paused, "and because I feel guilty taking that much money." He hated relying on someone else to support them when he was the one that was supposed to be taking care of them, but he wouldn't admit that part out loud.

“It’s fine to let someone take the burden for a bit,” Changkyun said, “this isn’t forever. We’re both gonna make it big and we’ll pay him back every cent we take.”

"I know this won't be forever, but you don't know if we'll ever be able to pay him back," Jooheon said, "I'm not going to flat out refuse the money, but I want to make it very clear how much I absolutely hate this."

“Don’t say that,” Changkyun said, “five years from now, you’re gonna be a household name producer and probably make three times what he does. He’ll be  _ your _ sugar baby, Heonie.” He was glad when Jooheon finally cracked a smile. “We’re gonna fuckin’ be okay.”

"We're gonna be okay," Jooheon echoed. He smiled gratefully at Changkyun. The younger man had a knack for turning any situation, no matter how much Jooheon hated it, into a positive one, and he would forever be grateful for that. "When he comes back, we'll tell him we agree to the terms and the amount."

Changkyun finally smiled. They were finally going to be okay. It was all going to be okay. He had to take a deep breath to keep from suddenly starting to cry. Thankfully, Hyunwoo came back then and he left Jooheon to accept the offer.

"We talked about it and that amount would be very helpful to pay for everything and start saving. We’ll send you everything and I promise we'll both start focusing on school more. Thank you so much. We really don't know what we'd do without you," Jooheon said sincerely. He nudged Changkyun gently, prompting the younger man to say his own thanks.

“Yes, thank you,” Changkyun said, voice a little thick, “you really have no idea what this means to us.” Hyunwoo cracked a smile. “Do you two share an account or do you have separate?” he asked. If they had separate, he would split the amount.

"We share an account," Jooheon replied. It was easier to pool their resources that way, especially considering half of their bills had to be paid online now.

“You’re going to have to get me your account number and your routing number so I can deposit the money directly,” Hyunwoo said, “I need it at least two days before you need to pay your next bill, but tomorrow would really be optimal.”

"I can get it to you first thing in the morning," Jooheon offered. He bit the inside of his cheek. They were so close, he couldn't risk fucking this up by taking advantage of Hyunwoo's generosity so quickly.

“I have it with me,” Changkyun said, “I’m sorry, we seem greedy, but we’re already two weeks late on rent.” He pulled a voided check out of his pocket and slid it over. Both of their names were on it, but Hyunwoo would have to learn them at some point anyway.

Jooheon patted Changkyun's leg under the table. He was glad his roommate was well prepared, and he didn't think Hyunwoo would back out at this point. Although he had been wrong before.

Hyunwoo took the check and put it in his pocket. “I’ll take care of this tonight. You should be able to pay off everything tomorrow.” Normally, he wouldn’t be so hasty, but these kids obviously needed it. “We should also exchange numbers in case either of you need something.”

“Thank you so much,” Jooheon breathed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and unlocked it before sliding it across the table. He would rather not give his number out, but having Hyunwoo’s would be helpful, even if they wouldn’t ever use it.

Hyunwoo typed his number into Jooheon's phone then called himself so he would have the boy's number as well. "Let me know if you need anything," he said seriously.

Jooheon bit his lip so he didn’t frown when Hyunwoo called himself. He should have expected the older man to do something like this. The more he thought about it the more he realized it was a nice gesture. Hyunwoo didn’t have to give them his number, yet he did. “Thank you so much,” he said, “do you want us to walk you back to your car?”

"I actually took the bus," Hyunwoo said wryly, "I didn't think it would be the most wise decision to leave my car parked here. If you could walk me to the closest bus station though, that would be much appreciated."

Jooheon nodded in understanding. “Yeah that’s not a problem. There’s one a little closer to our apartment that’s less sketchy than the one you got off at,” he said. He pushed himself up from the table and waited for Changkyun before heading for the door.

Changkyun stood up, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie as he trailed behind Hyunwoo. Although the man was bigger than both him and Jooheon combined, he didn't seem like he could hurt a fly and it would be better for them all if he and Jooheon flanked him on their way back to the bus station.

Thankfully the bus station wasn’t far of a walk and hopefully the bus would be running on time. Jooheon had to admit he was a little worried about Hyunwoo riding the bus this late at night, although he wasn’t sure why. He was a fully capable adult, and this is the last thing Jooheon should worry about.

Once Hyunwoo was home, he made sure to immediately transfer the funds to Jooheon and Changkyun's account. There. Now, hopefully, Kihyun and Hoseok would get off his ass about this.

Jooheon all but collapsed into bed when he got home. He was exhausted and he had to get up early. Once everything was paid off tomorrow, they would be able to breathe again. He didn’t think a moment when they were financially secure would ever come, but here it was.

Changkyun bypassed his own bed in favor of collapsing next to Jooheon. "Tomorrow, we're gonna pay off everything then I'm gonna quit both of my overnights. No two weeks, I'm just not going back."

Jooheon smiled widely and pulled Changkyun closer to him. “Good. I’ll get my car in for an oil change and drop my weekend jobs,” he promised, “thank you for convincing me to do this.”

"We're going shopping this weekend," Changkyun demanded, "I don't think any amount of washing will save my clothes at this point."

“We’ll get you a whole new wardrobe,” Jooheon said excitedly. He was happy that Changkyun was finally getting treated the way he deserved, but he was still regretful that it wasn’t because of him.

"You too," Changkyun said, tossing his arm over Jooheon's waist, "you gotta take advantage of it too."

“I will! I told you; I’m gonna get my car all set. It definitely needs other services than just the oil,” Jooheon said. He didn’t really need new clothes, although he was considering splurging on some nice smelling shampoo.

"No, Heonie, that's not what I mean. That's not for you; that's a chore. I mean like new clothes, new equipment, stuff like that," Changkyun said. He sometimes hated how selfless Jooheon was.

“But I don’t need any of those things,” Jooheon said quietly. His laptop worked fine and there was no point in investing in production equipment yet. “Never mind about that. We both need some sleep.”

"Yes you do, but the point is that you don't need to need something to buy it for yourself," Changkyun said, "it's okay to splurge on things, especially now that we have the money. You need new clothes, you need new equipment and it's okay to splurge now."

“I’ll think about it more when I’m not exhausted,” Jooheon mumbled. He really was tired and just wanted to get some sleep for once.

Changkyun hummed in agreement and kissed Jooheon’s cheek softly. “G’night,” he mumbled.

“Good night, Kyunie,” Jooheon whispered. And with that he was out like a light. 


	3. Chapter 3

When Jooheon’s alarm sounded in the morning, he quickly reached over to shut it off, hoping it didn’t wake Changkyun. Speaking of his roommate, they were tangled together and he had no idea how to get up without waking him.

Changkyun whined when Jooheon’s alarm went off. He wanted to lay with the older man just a few minutes longer. “Screw work,” he mumbled, “you’ve never missed; just call in so we can sleep in and pay the bills.”

“Kyunie, I can’t...,” Jooheon trailed off. To be honest there was no reason he couldn’t. The worst thing they could do was fire him for calling late and that would save him the hassle of putting in a two weeks notice. With a sigh he picked up his phone and called his boss. They were less than happy, but he wasn’t too concerned. He tossed his phone somewhere to the side after he hung up, and rolled over so he could gather Changkyun in his arms.

Changkyun smiled happily at his success. “Two more hours then we’ll go pay bills,” he said.

“Wake me up when you’re ready,” Jooheon mumbled. He settled down again and easily fell back asleep. This was something he could get used to really fast.

Hyunwoo was in his office going through a proposal when Hoseok and Kihyun came busting in like the banshees they were. He sighed, knowing exactly what this was about. “Yes, I met with them, yes, I’m paying them, that’s it,” he said tiredly.

“That’s great and all but what do you think of them?” Kihyun asked. “Jeez, Kihyun, give the guy a break,” Hoseok said, plopping into a chair, “I’m glad everything went just as we said it would.”

“They’re good kids,” Hyunwoo said with a shrug, “fell on the some pretty hard times and still barely asked for anything. I had to forcibly give them a proper amount or else they would’ve just taken pennies.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Kihyun said, crossing his arms. He knew Hyunwoo had more thoughts on the boys, he just had to dig a little to find them.

“I don’t know what else you want from me,” Hyunwoo said, “I’m gonna send them money, they’re gonna tell me when they spend it, rinse and repeat.”

“Wait, no, that’s not how this is supposed to go,” Kihyun said quickly, “you’re not getting  _ anything  _ out of this?” He was beyond confused, but he knew Hyunwoo wasn’t messing with him.

“I’m getting the satisfaction of making sure the ridiculous amount of money I have is going to and benefiting someone who actually needs it,” Hyunwoo said simply, “I’m not gonna fucking pay them for sex or something.”

“You don’t need to go  _ that _ far, but not even a date? Not even a favor or two around the office? Hell you could hire one of them as a personal assistant,” Kihyun said. Hoseok nodded from his chair. “A personal assistant isn’t a bad idea.”

“Neither of them has the time for that,” Hyunwoo said, “Jooheon’s in his third year and Changkyun’s currently failing all of his classes because of work. They don’t need to worry about meetings with me on top of that.”

“Well they don’t need to worry about work anymore. The least they could do is meet up with you every once in a while to tell you how they’re doing,” Kihyun said. He truly didn’t understand why Hyunwoo wasn’t pushing for some sort of relationship with these boys.

“They refuse to stop working but I got them to at least only work one job instead of three,” Hyunwoo said, “and I’m gonna check in on them. They’re gonna let me know every time they pay a bill so I know that they’re, like, alive and not dying with no water.”

Kihyun rolled his eyes. “Just give it some time. Those kids’ll have you wrapped around their finger in no time,” he said.

“I’m sure they will,” Hyunwoo said amicably, “but that doesn’t mean there’s any sort of relationship there.”

“Boy you are thick. Take some time to think about it. I was right before and we both know I’m right now,” Kihyun said. He pushed himself up from the chair he was sitting in. “I’m going to get back to work, but I look forward to updates about your boys.”

The next time Changkyun woke up, it was late morning and he actually felt well rested. That was a change. “Heonie,” he whined, “up. Bills.”

Jooheon groaned quietly. “Get my laptop and we can do it from here,” he said. He regretfully loosened his grip on Changkyun.

Changkyun rolled out of bed and trudged into the living room to find Jooheon’s laptop. He grabbed his own as well in case Heonie’s was dead and brought them both back.

Jooheon cracked open his laptop and clicked it on. It didn’t have much battery, but it should be enough for them to pay their bills. Half of him was still nervous that Hyunwoo didn’t follow through on his promise, but when he pulled up their bank account info he realized he was proven quite wrong. “It worked, Kyunie,” he breathed.

Changkyun's eyes widened as he stared at the screen. Even though he knew how much Hyunwoo was offering them, he was still shocked to see it actually on the screen. "Okay, how much do we owe the landlord?" he asked, grabbing Jooheon's checkbook out of the nightstand, "I'll take care of getting that to him if you can handle the online payments."

"A grand from last month and nine hundred for this month," he replied. He pulled up the site to pay all of their utilities and for once wasn't hesitant about typing in the amount owed and pressing submit.

Changkyun filled out the check and passed it over to Jooheon to sign. Despite the money they now had, he still felt his chest tighten with anxiety when he looked at the amount.

Jooheon signed the check and was about to hand it back when he caught Changkyun's expression. "Do you want me to bring it to him?" he asked softly.

"Let's go together," Changkyun said, "then we can try and go shopping afterwards."

"We'll go after I get out of class," Jooheon said, "I'll try and get my car into the shop one day this week. Maybe Thursday? That way I can drop you off in the morning and it should be ready so you don't have to walk home." He was thinking out loud more than anything, but it helped him put his schedule together.

"I'm not working that job anymore," Changkyun said, "I'm just gonna keep my couple shifts at the library rather than going off campus for work. I can take the car in while you're at class today and wait for it to be finished. Hopefully, the water should be back on when we get home too."

"I'll call the garage right now and see if they can take it," Jooheon said, reaching for his phone. The water being turned back on sounded heavenly. He couldn't wait to take a nice hot shower.

Changkyun leaned over and rested his chin on Jooheon's shoulder. "I think I'm gonna shower like four times tonight," he said, "maybe you can join me for one of them."

"Only one of them?" Jooheon asked, faking a pout. He double checked that all of the payments had gone through before closing his laptop.

"At least one," Changkyun amended, "c'mon, let's go pay the rent so I can take the car and you can go to class. I'll even try to find a cleaner shirt." 

Jooheon groaned quietly, but let Changkyun pull him out of bed anyway. He rummaged around his laundry for the cleanest clothes he could find and through them on. Running his fingers through his hair to smooth it out had become his substitute for a comb and he didn't even need to check it in a mirror. "Let's go get this rent paid," he said.

Changkyun changed into a clean shirt and shoved a hat over his greasy, matted hair. He shoved the check into his pocket and reached for Jooheon's hand.

"You're clingy today," Jooheon commented, taking Changkyun's hand regardless. He led him out of the apartment to his car and passed over his keys.

"I'm just happy," Changkyun said as he took the keys and got in the car. Even as he started the car and headed toward their landlord's office, he held Jooheon's hand on the gearshift.

Jooheon wore a soft smile and stared out the window on their drive. He was looking forward to how much their relationship would improve now that they wouldn't be so stressed. Once they quit their extra jobs they would have a lot more time to spend together too. "You know you're long overdue to tell me that 'you told me so' about this whole idea," he said after a few minutes.

Changkyun gasped, pretending to be offended. "I would never, Jooheonie," he teased as he pulled in the parking lot.

Jooheon rolled his eyes. “Oh don’t give me that crap you absolutely would and you’ve never missed an opportunity in the past,” he retorted. Although he sounded serious, he couldn’t wipe the wide grin off his face.

"C'mon, let's get this over with," Changkyun said, shutting off the car and pulling the check out of his pocket. They were finally caught up.

Jooheon walked into the building and over to their landlord. “We have last month and this month’s rent,” he said. The landlord snorted and looked at them in disbelief, but held his hand out regardless. Jooheon sighed sadly and just hoped he didn’t ask too many questions.

Changkyun stepped in front of Jooheon and handed the check over. "It's all there, all legit," he said.

“Wait here,” the landlord said before standing and heading into the back. Jooheon crossed his arms and tapped his foot nervously. He knew the check would clear and that they didn’t have to answer any questions, but he still felt unsettled about the whole thing.

Changkyun held Jooheon's hand tightly. "It's gonna be fine," he said, "it'll clear, no problem."

Jooheon nodded slowly. When the landlord came back he gave them a simple “you’re all set” and Jooheon didn’t waste a moment after that. He all but pulled Changkyun out of the office and back to the car.

Changkyun started laughing when they got back in the car. “That was amazing,” he said, “did you see his face?”

“I did,” Jooheon said with a small smile, “I could get used to that.” Their landlord had been looking for an excuse to kick them out for a long time and luckily they didn’t give him the chance. “Alright get me to class.”

Changkyun dropped Jooheon off at class and headed to the closest garage. Once he paid for the oil change, he sat in the waiting area, playing on his recently renewed phone.

Jooheon was a little nervous when Changkyun wasn’t back by the time he got out of class. “Hey is everything okay?” he texted. He didn’t mean to be overbearing, but he couldn’t help it now that the younger’s phone was working again.

“Yeah, I’m just getting the car back now,” Changkyun replied, “I’ll be there in a few.”

“Don’t speed!” Jooheon replied. He decided to take a walk to the cafe on campus and grab them both a coffee in the meantime. 

Changkyun was back on campus in no time and texted Jooheon such. The car seemed to run much smoother now that the oil was clean.

Jooheon got Changkyun's text just as he was walking out of the cafe. He made his way to the parking lot and quickly found his roommate. "Thank you for taking my car in for an oil change," he said as he climbed into the car and offered Changkyun his coffee.

“Of course,” Changkyun said, “thanks for the coffee.” He definitely needed it.

“Alright to the store we go!” Jooheon exclaimed. They hadn’t been shopping in ages and he was actually looking forward to it. They went clothes shopping for Changkyun first, and Jooheon even got bullied into getting himself a new sweater. Then they went grocery shopping for food that wasn’t expired and picked up a few much needed toiletries. Jooheon had to admit he was a bit exhausted after their errands and he really hoped the water was turned back on.

Changkyun was laden with bags when they finally got back home. “Oh, I really hope the shower works,” he said with a groan, dropping the bags in the living room.

“Only one way to find out,” Jooheon said, “you go try and I’ll put the groceries away.” He moved some of the bags onto the kitchen table. Their electricity was back so they could use their fridge now, which they really hadn’t done even when they had electricity in the past.

Changkyun stripped as he walked toward the bathroom. He let out a yell in celebration when the water actually turned on and warmed up. “Jooheon-ah!” he called, “come here!”

Jooheon threw the last of the last of the groceries that needed to be refrigerated into the fridge and practically sprinted down the hall. “It worked!” he said excitedly when he popped his head into the bathroom, “well, what are you waiting for?”

“You,” Changkyun said with a smirk, “you gotta clean up too.”

Jooheon chuckled quietly and pulled his shirt off. “Stop wasting the water and get in there,” he chastised lightly. He pushed his pants off and stepped into the shower behind Changkyun.

“We can afford to waste water,” Changkyun said giddily as he pulled Jooheon closer to him under the spray.

Jooheon rolled his eyes fondly. He had almost forgotten how good a hot shower felt. His shoulders slowly relaxed and he wrapped his arms around Changkyun. “I don’t know what’s better: you or having hot water again,” he murmured.

“Definitely hot water,” Changkyun said, “I’m not nearly as great as being clean.” The water by their feet was almost entirely brown with how dirty they were.

Jooheon pouted but didn’t say anything. He carefully ran his fingers through Changkyun’s hair, doing his best to work through the knots without hurting the younger man. “You know this would be a lot easier with shampoo,” he said. In their haste the bottles of body wash and shampoo they bought were still sitting in the living room.

“Four showers, remember?” Changkyun said, “we’ll use soap in the next one. This one is just...dirt removal.”

“I thought I was only allowed in one of them,” Jooheon teased. He continued running his fingers through Changkyun’s hair while keeping his other hand wrapped around the younger’s waist.Changkyun hummed. It had been forever since he had been able to get anything through his hair. It was starting to get long and once it was clean, he was planning to get it cut and dyed.

Jooheon let his hand slide to the back of Changkyun’s head. He worked out a few of the knots before gently pulling the younger man closer.

“That feels so nice,” Changkyun said, sighing happily. He missed having Jooheon’s hands in his hair. The older man always used to comb through his hair to help him relax.

Jooheon sighed sadly. This is how things always should have been, and could have been if he hadn’t fucked it up. He wordlessly unwrapped his other hand from Changkyun’s waist so he could run it through his hair as well.

Changkyun wrapped his arms around Jooheon’s waist, swaying slightly under the spray. “We have to remember to thank him. Maybe send him a picture of what we look like when we’re not covered in three weeks of dirt.”

“We’ll do that after the shower where we use soap,” Jooheon said. He finished working the big knots out of Changkyun’s hair before letting his arms drop to the younger’s shoulders.

“Right,” Changkyun agreed, “when we’re actually clean. Maybe after I get my hair done too. It’s way too long right now.”

“I like it long,” Jooheon said. The water had started getting cold so he reached behind him and turned the handle so it would warm back up.

“I guess I should surprise you with my hair tomorrow then,” Changkyun. He knew Jooheon would like his head no matter what it looked like.

“Tomorrow?” Jooheon asked, eyes widening, “you’re gonna go tomorrow?” He was excited to see what Changkyun would have done with his hair, but he wasn’t expecting the younger to act so quick.

“I don’t like having my hair this long,” Changkyun said. He didn’t like having hair around his ears, but his hair now was even longer.

Jooheon smiled softly. “I can’t wait to see what’ll look like, but for now we need some soap,” he said. He slipped out of the shower and quickly realized they didn’t have any clean towels. Good thing they were taking another shower. After snagging the bottles from the living room he darted back into the bathroom.

Changkyun was grateful when Jooheon came back with the soaps. It was gratifying to see all of the dirt wash down the drain until the water finally ran clean. By the time they got out, it had been over an hour but they were finally clean.

“I don’t think my fingers are ever going to look normal again,” Jooheon joked, looking down at his very pruned fingers. The shower was definitely worth it though. “We should probably send Hyunwoo all of our receipts from today so he knows we paid off everything.”

“Let’s get dressed first,” Changkyun said, shivering now that he was out of the hot water. The heat had obviously not kicked in yet.

Jooheon quickly towel dried Changkyun’s hair so it wouldn’t drip on him before pulling his own clothes on. The sweater was soft and it was so refreshing to be wearing something new. “I’m gonna start a load of laundry. Meet me in bed with my laptop in a few minutes,” he said.

Changkyun dressed in warm clothes and dumped the rest of the bags in his room. Jooheon was just returning from the laundry room when he grabbed his laptop. He went to the older boy’s room but balked at sitting on the bed.

Jooheon sighed sadly when he saw Changkyun just standing in the middle of his room. “I’ll throw the sheets in the next load,” he said, “do you want to sit in the kitchen instead?”

“Why don’t we go to a cafe near campus?” Changkyun suggested, “these clothes are so new and so nice. I don’t want to get them dirty yet.” Maybe, down the road, they could look into moving.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Jooheon said, setting a timer for when he had to be back for the laundry. He snagged his keys from the counter and headed to the front door. Now that he would have more free time, he would be able to get the apartment looking how it should be.

Changkyun grabbed his wallet and held Jooheon’s laptop tightly to his chest as they headed for the car. When they got to the cafe, he sat down while Jooheon ordered and was surprised to find that, even with all their spending, they had barely made a dent in the money.

Jooheon grabbed their coffees and some snacks and went to join Changkyun. He looked over his roommate’s shoulder and was surprised with how much they still had left. He’d be able to get Changkyun a really nice Christmas present this year and he was ecstatic at the thought.

“You’re gonna have to send it,” Changkyun said, “he doesn’t have my number and I don’t want to spook him or something.”

Jooheon nodded and pulled out his phone. He sent all the receipts to Hyunwoo and a plethora of “thank yous.” “All set,” he declared. He tossed his phone onto the table and leaned back in his chair to stretch.

Hyunwoo was surprised when his phone went off in his desk, but smiled when he saw a message from Jooheon. The boys had already started putting the money to good use and he couldn’t be happier. That was what it was for, after all.

Jooheon’s timer went off not a minute later and he shut it off with a quiet groan. The cafe was so warm and cozy and he had no desire to leave. Maybe a good samaritan would put the clothes in the dryer for them, but knowing the people that lived there that wasn’t super likely. Eventually Jooheon pushed himself up from the table and gathered the garbage. “I’m gonna go take care of the laundry. I’ll text you when the sheets are done and you can come back then,” he said.

“Take your laptop,” Changkyun said, getting up as well, “screw waiting until tomorrow, I’m getting this fixed now.” He followed Jooheon out of the cafe, where they parted ways.

Jooheon wasn’t surprised to find his sopping wet laundry sitting on top of the washer by the time he got home. He sighed to himself and threw it into a dryer. While he waited for his clothes he decided to do a deep clean of their apartment. He started in the bathroom and had barely gotten through half of it when his timer went off again.

Changkyun felt bad for the poor hairdresser that had to deal with his unruly mop. It took a couple of hours to not only get his hair workable but also bleach and tone it to the color he wanted. In the end though, he was more than satisfied and left the poor woman a huge tip. He sent Jooheon a selfie with his hood covering his hair and told him he would be home soon.

Jooheon had rescued the clothes from the dryer and was all too happy to move the clothes from the washer out of his way to put their sheets in. He was elbow deep in bleach again when his phone dinged. It took a bit of maneuvering and a lot of hand washing before he picked it up. He was excited when he realized Changkyun sent him a picture, but he should have known it would be a tease. He typed back a “hurry up! I want to see,” before getting back to work.

Changkyun practically skipped home. He was excited to show Jooheon his hair. After it being so messy and unruly for so long, he could finally say that he was happy with how it looked. "Heonie, I'm home," he called when he entered the apartment.

Jooheon dropped everything when he heard Changkyun's greeting, nearly spilling the bottle of cleaner in the process. "Sweatshirt off now," he said as he practically sprinted down the hallway.

“Oh my god, the heat’s back,” Changkyun said, getting momentarily distracted before pulling off his hoodie and fixing his hair. “Well?”

Jooheon’s mouth fell open when he got a good look at Changkyun’s hair. “Oh, Kyunie, it looks amazing,” he murmured. He took a few steps closer to his roommate so he could run his fingers through his hair. “It’s so soft.”

“C’mon, we have to send a picture to Hyunwoo,” Changkyun said, grabbing Jooheon’s hand and pulling him to where the lighting was a bit better.

“I look like a mess,” Jooheon whined. He let himself be pulled along anyway and pulled out his phone for Changkyun to use.

"You look cute," Changkyun said, raising the phone and pulling the older man close to him. "C'mon, smile!"

Jooheon rolled his eyes but smiled obediently. After Changkyun was satisfied with their picture, he took a step back. “I’m gonna go finish the bathroom. Can you switch the laundry after you send that picture?” he asked.

"Sure thing," Changkyun said. He sent the picture off to Hyunwoo with a caption stating his gratitude. Once that was done, he left Jooheon's phone on the counter and went to move the laundry.

Jooheon’s arms were killing him, but luckily their bathroom was small and he was almost done. He didn’t think he would ever stop smelling like bleach after this, but it was better than the alternative. “Just leave the laundry next to the other pile in my room,” Jooheon called when he heard Changkyun come back into the room, “I’m almost done and then I’ll put it all away.”

"Bold of you to assume I don't know how you fold your laundry," Changkyun called back. He set the basket on the floor so he could flip Jooheon's mattress to the cleaner side and dumped the laundry on the bed to start folding.

Kihyun was fixing a setting on Hyunwoo’s phone when a message came through. He switched to it and smiled when he saw the picture. It was obviously the two boys he had helped and Kihyun had to admit he and Hoseok did a good job finding these kids. “Your kids really are adorable,” he commented to Hyunwoo.

"Mhm, sure Ki," Hyunwoo said, not even listening to his friend. He was completely absorbed in the spreadsheet in front of him.

Kihyun huffed quietly. “See for yourself,” he said, shoving the phone in Hyunwoo’s face so that was all he could see. He hoped Hyunwoo would take the opportunity to compliment the boys. It would only help the situation after all.

Hyunwoo blinked and lurched backward when his phone hit his face out of nowhere. "Kihyun, what?" he griped, eyes finally focusing on the phone, "holy shit, that's...they look so clean!"

Kihyun hummed in agreement, a small smirk on his face. “They look good. The profile pic they used is definitely old. You should compliment them,” he encouraged.

“Maybe later,” Hyunwoo said, shoving the phone away and getting back to his spreadsheet. He needed to finish it within the next hour and Kihyun was not helping.

Kihyun rolled his eyes and sat back down. It looked like he was taking matters into his own hands. If he knew Hyunwoo at all that “maybe” was as good as a “no.” He quickly finished going through Hyunwoo’s settings and switched back to the messages. He replied with a simple “you two clean up nice,” and dropped the phone on the desk, face down. “You’re welcome,” he said before taking his leave from the office.

Changkyun had just finished folding Jooheon’s laundry when he heard the older man’s phone go off. “Hey, I think Hyunwoo texted back,” he called.

Jooheon was finally done in the bathroom and put everything away before going to retrieve his phone. “He said that we clean up nice,” he reported when he stepped back into the bedroom. He wasn’t really expecting the compliment so he wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

Changkyun hummed. “He probably means it,” he said, “I don’t think the guy even knows what flirting means.” Hyunwoo seemed nice, but he was obviously very awkward.

Jooheon chuckled quietly and pocketed the phone, there was no need to respond. “Probably not, but we don’t want to flirt with him anyway so no harm done,” he said. He untangled Changkyun’s sheets from the laundry and went to make the younger man’s bed.

“Right,” Changkyun agreed, “the phrase is just generally flirty.” He finished putting away Jooheon’s laundry and collapsed on the naked mattress.

Jooheon hummed as he disappeared down the hall. It didn’t make sense that Hyunwoo would be flirting with them so he pushed the text from his mind and focused on finishing the chores. “What are you doing?” Jooheon asked when he walked back into the room, “go lay in your bed where there’s sheets.” He smacked Changkyun in the leg so he would get up faster.

“But your bed’s bigger,” Changkyun whined, rolling over into his stomach, “c’mon, Jooheonie, relax a bit. Unclench.”

“Oh my God,” Jooheon muttered to himself. He knew there was no way Changkyun would get off his bed unless he picked the younger man up. As nice of an idea as that sounded, it simply wasn’t plausible. Huffing in defeat, he climbed onto the bed and settled down next to his roommate.

Changkyun smiled and laid his head on Jooheon’s chest. “Today was awesome,” he said, “I felt like a person for once.”

Jooheon smiled softly and wrapped one arm around the younger man. "I'm glad you had a good day," he murmured. He planned on having the apartment scrubbed top to bottom by the end of the week, which meant they would actually have time to spend together this upcoming weekend.

“I’m still scared that it’s all gonna disappear,” Changkyun admitted in a quiet voice. He couldn’t believe Hyunwoo’s overwhelming generosity. It almost felt like he should be going to the older man’s apartment and doing something for him. They definitely didn’t deserve all of this.

"Me too," Jooheon whispered, "but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen. We just have to be smart and responsible, but it'll all work out. I promise you that I will never let you go back to working three jobs while you're still in school." He pulled Changkyun a little closer.

“You too,” Changkyun said, “I’m not a baby, Heonie, you don’t have to take care of me all the time. You need to take care of yourself too.”

"I am taking care of myself, you don't have to worry. And I know you aren't a baby, but I made a promise to take care of you and I intend to see that through.," Jooheon said. He let his eyes fall closed. A twenty minute power nap sounded amazing before he went back to cleaning the apartment.

Changkyun waited until Jooheon fell asleep to snag his phone. He knew that the older man hadn't replied to Hyunwoo, so he would take it upon himself. "We clean up even better in person," he typed out.

Jooheon had no idea what time it was when he woke up, but judging on how dark the apartment was it had been longer than twenty minutes. He groaned quietly and repositioned himself more comfortably. He had absolutely no desire to get out of bed, especially considering how warm Changkyun was keeping him.

Hyunwoo flinched when his phone went off. He glanced at the message and was surprised to see it was from Jooheon. He slid it open and saw red when he realized that Kihyun had sent the boy a message earlier. With a heavy sigh, he pressed the intercom button on his desk. "Hoseok, I need your help with something," he grumbled.

Hoseok was a little surprised when Hyunwoo called for him, but he wasn’t busy so he put down his work and headed to the end of the building. “Whatcha need help with?” he asked casually as he slipped into the office.

Hyunwoo held his phone out. “I am not made for this nonsense,” he said, annoyed, “Kihyun started flirting with Jooheon and now he’s flirting back.”

Hoseok had to hold back a laugh. “I’ve been waiting for the day you asked for dating advice,” he said. He replied with “this I want to see for myself” and looked up from his phone. “Hey when are you free next?”

“No,” Hyunwoo said, rolling his eyes. He did not need to meet with the boys again unless there was a problem.

“Look you asked for my help and now I’m helping you. Either you tell me when you’re free or I pick a time for you,” Hoseok said. He and Kihyun were currently on a bet of who could get Hyunwoo to crack first and there was no way Hoseok was losing.

“No,” Hyunwoo said again, “give me my phone back, Hoseok. This is not a dating arrangement.”

“This isn’t a  _ date _ . Think of it like a meeting, except it’s personal business instead of business business,” Hoseok said. He held the phone closer to his chest.

“That’s what you said about Hyungwon, is it not?” Hyunwoo accused, “and that business meeting ended with you two fucking.”

Hoseok narrowed his eyes. “Some meetings go differently than planned. Besides he’s cute and it turned out great for me. These boys are cute too and there’s really only one way to find out if they are good for you,” he said. He had a funny feeling he was doing the opposite of what he set out to, but if the boys replied when he still had the phone he’d be okay.

“There’s nothing happening,” Hyunwoo said, “I don’t want anything to happen, and they don’t either. Drop it please.”

"If they didn't want anything they wouldn't flirt back," Hoseok said. He dropped the phone on the desk and turned to walk out. "Call me when you're ready for some advice."

“Jooheon isn’t even the one that was looking for this,” Hyunwoo said, “I doubt he’s actually flirting. The kid’s probably just trying to be reciprocal.”

“Isn’t there two of them?” Hoseok asked, turning back around, “who knows what the other one wants. Also people don’t flirt to be reciprocal. They flirt if they are interested. If he was just trying to be polite his text back would have been different.”

“They think they owe me, or that they should. For all he knows, I want him to flirt,” Hyunwoo explained, “these kids are desperate.”

"They do  _ technically _ owe you. That is how the whole deal is supposed to go. Maybe if you meet with them and give them a small favor to do for you they'll leave you alone like you want them to," Hoseok said. He wasn't surprised Hyunwoo was being so thick and there was no way he was going to convince the older man to go through with this tonight.

“There’s no favor I need them to do,” Hyunwoo said, “and I don’t feel right manipulating them into flirting or sex or anything.”

Hoseok paused. “I think it’s best if you take some time to think about it and you message them how you want. If you change your mind and want any help you know where to find Kihyun and me,” he said.

“That’s not helpful!” Hyunwoo called to his friend’s retreating back before groaning to himself. “I’m sorry, my friend got ahold of my phone,” he texted finally.

Jooheon was confused when his phone dinged. The only person he texted was Hyunwoo and he never responded to the last message. “Kyun, who is that?” he asked suspiciously.

"No one," Changkyun said, quickly shoving Jooheon's phone in his pocket. If the older man wanted his phone back, he'd have to fight him for it.

“Changkyun,” Jooheon said warningly, “what did you do?” His roommate had to have texted Hyunwoo and he didn’t even want to begin thinking of where the conversation had gone.

"Absolutely nothing bad!" Changkyun said, playing up his offense. It wasn't technically a lie, he thought, unless Hyunwoo's new message was something too far.

“I don’t trust you. Hand over my phone. Now,” Jooheon demanded. He pushed himself up slightly so he could stop Changkyun from trying to escape if he tried to.

“Come and get it yourself,” Changkyun said stubbornly. If he fended off Jooheon the right way, he could distract him completely. Wink wink.

Jooheon pushed Changkyun onto his back and rolled over so he was sitting squarely on his roommates hips. He pinned both of the younger’s hands above his head with one hand and carefully reached into his pocket with the other.

Changkyun squirmed, pouring. “Jooheonie,” he whined, “you know I like this position too much.”

“Oh you are such a brat,” Jooheon grumbled, “you’re doing this shit on purpose aren’t you?” He stared down at Changkyun and bit his lip. He knew the younger’s trap too well, but he was still falling into it.

“I told you to come and get it,” Changkyun said with a shrug, “didn’t specify what it was.”

“There is absolutely no way you are getting away with this,” Jooheon growled. He pulled the phone out of Changkyun’s pocket and into his own. There was no reason why he couldn’t take care of whatever havoc his roommate caused later.

Changkyun took advantage of Jooheon being distracted to flip them both over. “Unfortunately,” he drawled, “I have an essay to finish now that I can charge my laptop. I’ll see you tomorrow. Night, Heonie!”

“Absolutely not,” Jooheon said, grabbing onto Changkyun’s wrist, “you should have thought about your essay before you decided to pull this stunt.”

“I was given direct orders to not fail my classes,” Changkyun said with a smirk, “I think that trumps your stiffie.”

“I’m pretty sure ‘don’t be a pain in my ass’ is written somewhere in our roommate agreement. If I recall correctly there’s some sort of fine. If you pay quickly I’ll let you go do your essay,” Jooheon teased. It was true that he didn’t want Changkyun to fail, but waiting a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

“Bold of you to assume I signed our roommate agreement,” Changkyun replied with a laugh, “besides, don’t you have some snooping to do?”

Jooheon frowned. "How the hell do I put up with you?" he mumbled to himself. He regretfully released Changkyun's wrist before pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“You chose this,” Changkyun singsonged as he retreated to his own room. It felt so good to lay down in clean sheets, he couldn’t even describe it.

Jooheon rolled his eyes and pulled open his messages. His chest tightened as he read the flirty messages. He was relieved it was a friend of Hyunwoo's that was responding to Changkyun. The whole situation was almost comical save for the fact that Changkyun was flirting with someone else. "No worries. Changkyun got a hold of mine. Sorry for the mixup," he replied. He groaned after he pressed send; hopefully this didn't fuck everything up.

Changkyun actually did have work to do, so after a minute of reveling in his clean bed, he sat up and got to work. Despite barely paying attention in class and having a few hours to finish the essay before it was due, he actually felt pretty confident about the outcome, or at least he did going into it.

Jooheon rolled over and tossed his phone to the side. He had put in his two weeks’ notices at both of his jobs that weren't on campus, but that meant he still had to get up the following morning. Hopefully Hyunwoo would just read his message and let it go.

Hyunwoo was getting ready for bed when Jooheon finally responded. His eyebrows knitted as he read it. “Please make sure Changkyun understands that he doesn’t owe me that either,” he replied.


	4. Chapter 4

Jooheon didn't see Hyunwoo's text until the following morning. He was slightly confused, but he wasn't going to question it. He was sure there was something Hyunwoo would want eventually, but he wasn't quite sure what it was yet. He sent back a simple "I'll be sure to tell him. Thank you," before heading to work.

Changkyun couldn’t do this. He had been up all night working on, not only on the essay but all the other homework he had missed as well. He actually worked right through his shift at his remaining workplace without even realizing it. He was so behind, he wondered if it was even worth trying or if he should just let it all fail and repeat the semester instead.

Jooheon went to class after his shift and to the radio after that so he didn't get home until it was well into the night. As tiring as his day was, he didn't feel the typical bone deep exhaustion for once. "Kyunie, are you here?" he called out.

“Yeah,” Changkyun called out from his bed. He hadn’t left it all day, not even for class. At this point, even with all the work submitted, there was no way he was going to pass anything. Most of his professors didn’t accept late work and had marked his in-class naps as absences, so he was failing mostly on attendance alone.

Jooheon frowned; Changkyun sounded absolutely miserable. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked softly as he walked into the younger's room and over to the bed. He knew better than to ask if Changkyun was okay because he wouldn't get an honest answer.

“I’m not gonna pass this semester,” Changkyun said, slowly closing his laptop and rubbing his eyes, “I’ve been making up assignments and emailing back and forth with professors all day and there’s really no chance of me even making a D in anything. None of them are willing to make any accommodations for our situation. One guy even said that he’d be willing if I had said something at the beginning of the semester, but now it just seems like I’m making it up to save my grade. I don’t know what to  _ do _ , Jooheonie.”

Jooheon sat down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Changkyun gently. "We can easily prove how much you've been working, but if your professors really won't budge I won't be able to do much. Do you want to take the rest of the semester off and we'll get you caught up between the winter and summer terms?" he asked slowly. He would be willing to support anything Changkyun wanted to do. He hated that the younger was so stressed because his professors wouldn't accommodate him.

“Deadlines are dumb,” Changkyun said with a pout, leaning on Jooheon’s shoulder, “I know all the material, I did all the work, but I missed the deadline so it’s just a zero.” He didn’t want to just give up and drop the semester, especially since there wasn’t much left and he’d already paid for it. He also worried that if he did drop the semester, Hyunwoo wouldn’t be willing to help them out any longer. The man hadn’t asked for much, but he had been serious about what he did ask for.

"I know they are," Jooheon whispered soothingly, "why don't we make sure you kick all your finals' asses so you can pass these classes?" He wouldn't mind staying up with Changkyun to help him study if that's what it would take to get him through the semester.

“I really don’t think my finals will be enough to save me,” Changkyun said miserably, “it’s the _one thing_ Hyunwoo fucking asked for and I can’t fucking do it.”

“Kyunie, it’s okay. He started helping us late this semester; he has to understand how much work impacted that. He’s not going to get mad at you, I promise. Just make sure you do well in the rest of your semesters and I’m sure he’ll be happy,” Jooheon said supportively.

“I’m gonna have to pay for an extra semester and that’ll be even more money that we owe him and what if we don’t make it big, Heonie, what if we’re just stuck working shitty dead end jobs for the rest of our lives, because let’s be real, no one hires millennials anywhere.” Changkyun was fully rambling now, edging toward panic. He hated feeling so dumb and useless and this just compounded on that.

“Take a deep breath. Everything is going to work out. We’re going to get well paying jobs in our fields; you said it yourself. We’re just gonna hit a few bumps along the way. Let’s get through this semester and into break and I’ll contact Hyunwoo,” Jooheon said soothingly.

Changkyun buried his face in his hands, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “I need a nap,” he mumbled, “I’ve been awake for like thirty eight hours now.”

“Oh my God, lay down,” Jooheon said, all but shoving Changkyun off of him so he could get comfortable, “do you want me to stay?”

“Please,” Changkyun said in a small voice. He carefully set his laptop on the floor and scooted back against the wall so Jooheon could lay down too.

Jooheon wordlessly laid down and gathered Changkyun in his arms. The younger man shouldn’t be dealing with this stress, but here he was. Maybe Jooheon should text Hyunwoo sooner rather than later. 

Changkyun clung to his roommate. Jooheon always knew just how to calm him down and make him feel better. Even though he was still stressed, he felt less panicky.

“It’s okay, Kyunie, I got you,” Jooheon whispered soothingly. He made up his mind right then and there to text Hyunwoo, but it took him a couple of days to compose the message and send it. He fully explained the situation with Changkyun’s classes and that his professors wouldn’t help him. It was obvious that Changkyun would have to retake the semester, but Jooheon wrote out his concern about an extra semester of tuition anyway. He rounded off the text with an apology for not properly upholding their end of the deal. His hands shook as he pressed send, but this was the only thing he could do.

Hyunwoo frowned as he read Jooheon’s message. He had already known that Changkyun was failing and, while he had hoped there was enough time, it was obvious that it was just too late in the semester to do anything. “Whether he wants to tack another semester on at the end or do summer and winter courses to still graduate on time, I’ll take care of it,” he replied, “if the university gives him issues with enrollment for next semester, let me know and I’ll take care of that too.”

Jooheon heaved a sigh of relief when he read Hyunwoo’s reply. He sent back a message thanking him profusely and all but raced home after class to tell Changkyun; his roommate had been overstressed the past couple of days trying to work everything out. When he finally got home, he went to find his roommate.

“I have a few acquaintances that are still in school there and I’m a regular donor, so if you’d like me to have a word with his professors and secure some tutors, I can help with that as well,” Hyunwoo added. Hyungwon would only be of any help with gen-eds, but Minhyuk was in a similar program as Changkyun and had probably taken many of the same courses.

Jooheon read Hyunwoo’s last message just as he walked into Changkyun’s room. “Before you get upset,” he began slowly, “I messaged Hyunwoo about what’s going on and he’s not mad. In fact, he has some resources to help get you back on track and is willing to help with the cost of redoing the semester as well. He’s not gonna back out on us.”

“Jooheon,” Changkyun whined, “why would you do that? I’m handling it!” He absolutely was _not_ handling it, but he despised the idea of Hyunwoo knowing that he was such a bad student.

“Because Hyunwoo’s the only one who can help you with tuition. On top of that he’s nice enough to offer other help. It’s not worth it to stress yourself out when there are solutions that will make your life easier,” Jooheon said. He wasn’t quite sure where the change of heart in accepting Hyunwoo’s help came from, but he was slowly accepting the fact that this might be the best way to help Changkyun.

Changkyun pouted and leaned on his roommate. "I feel bad asking for even more help, especially when it's help he definitely doesn't have the time to give me," he said.

Jooheon wrapped his arms around Changkyun. “I don’t think he would have offered if he didn’t have the time for it,” he said supportively, “do you want to read his messages for yourself?”

Changkyun nodded and swiped the phone from Jooheon's hand. "I don't know, Heonie, this is a lot," he said as he scrolled through the messages. 

“Why don’t you take a little time to think about it and we’ll go from there,” Jooheon suggested. He didn’t want to force his roommate into anything he didn’t want, but this would be so much better for him in the long run.

"We're gonna be in so much debt," Changkyun mumbled, "might as well just let him do it."

“We’ll pay him back when we make it big,” Jooheon reminded him. He decided to text Hyunwoo back later tonight. For now he just wanted to make sure Changkyun was okay.

“We should plan to meet with him again,” Changkyun said, “if he’s gonna talk to my professors, he shouldn’t be going in blind.” He hated it, but he had no choice if he wanted to pass.

“I’ll text him back tonight and ask when he’s available,” Jooheon said, “now come on, let’s go lay down and relax for a few minutes. I’ll even try to make us an actual meal for dinner later.”

Hyunwoo wasn’t all that surprised when he received a text from Jooheon a few hours later asking when he was available to meet. A quick glance at his calendar showed that, for once, all of his evenings were free. He could even drag Hyungwon and Minhyuk along with him.

Jooheon was standing at the stove stirring pasta diligently when his phone dinged from its spot on the table. “What did Hyunwoo say?” he asked Changkyun nervously. He was pretty positive the older man wouldn’t have a problem meeting with them, but he wasn’t entirely sure.

"He said anytime after six any day this week," Changkyun read off the screen, "we can choose where and he'll bring his friends that are students."

“The only night I’m not free is Thursday so pick whichever day you want. That’s good that you can meet some of the students ahead of time,” Jooheon said. He flicked the stove off and brought the pot of water to the sink to drain it.

"Why don't we try for tomorrow night then?" Changkyun suggested, "just get it over with?"

“Sure that sounds good to me,” Jooheon agreed. He poured some sauce onto the finished pasta and scooped a bowl for each of them. Even though it wasn’t the fanciest meal, it was one of the nicest meals they’ve had in a long time.

The next evening found Hyunwoo corralling his two friends into the cafe that Jooheon and Changkyun had chosen. He ordered himself a coffee and found a table in the corner to wait.

"There he is," Jooheon said, jerking his head in Hyunwoo's direction. He led Changkyun over to the table. Hyunwoo's friends didn't look familiar even though it was obvious they all went to the same university. Maybe these were other students he was supporting.

"Behave yourselves," Hyunwoo muttered as Jooheon and Changkyun made their way over, mostly directing it toward Minhyuk. He didn't need these two scaring the poor kids off.

Jooheon bowed his head slightly as they approached the trio. One of the students looked bored out of his mind, while the other was poorly hiding his look of judgment. "Thank you for meeting with us," he sat awkwardly as he sat down.

"Of course," Hyunwoo replied, "this is Hyungwon and Minhyuk, they're upperclassmen at the university and in...similar engagements with friends of mine."

Jooheon was actually a little bit surprised that these other students had nothing to do with Hyunwoo himself. "It's nice to meet you," he said pleasantly, "I'm Jooheon and this is my roommate Changkyun." 

"So Jooheon told me a bit about what's happening with your professors and your classes," Hyunwoo started, turning his attention to Changkyun, "is there anything he missed?” "Not really," Changkyun replied. He pushed a pile of papers over to Hyunwoo. "These are all the emails I've exchanged with my professors over the last two days."

Jooheon rest a reassuring hand on Changkyun's thigh under the table. He watched Minhyuk lean forward to read the emails over Hyunwoo's shoulder. He looked at Hyungwon and promptly dropped his eyes when he realized the upperclassman was staring at him. Obviously he wasn't as nosy as Minhyuk.

"Have you attempted to contact the university's accessibility office?" Hyunwoo asked once he finished reading, "because we definitely should if you haven't."

"No, we haven't," Jooheon said slowly. He snuck a look at Changkyun. He wasn't really sure if his roommate had done anything other than talk to his professors. 

"No, I didn't even know I could do that," Changkyun admitted, "I thought that was for people with disabilities." He was a little embarrassed about that but there was nothing he could do now. "It is, but it's also for other situations like yours that require accommodation. That's okay, I'll make sure I have a rep with me when I meet with your professors."

Jooheon’s eyes widened slightly. He really wasn’t expecting Hyunwoo to do so much for them. “And what should we do?” he asked.

"Just keep getting your work in," Hyunwoo said, "I don't know how you're doing on the material, but Hyungwon can help you out with gen-eds and Minhyuk is in a similar major so he can help you with coding and stuff. I just need a list of all your professors and classes and copies of the syllabi and your work."

Jooheon nodded and gave Changkyun’s thigh a reassuring squeeze. “We can do that,” he said. He debated thanking the upperclassmen, but he decided against it. They looked like they wanted to be here even less than Changkyun did.

“I’m okay on the material,” Changkyun said, “it’s just that none of my professors are willing to take my work late. I’m failing everything on attendance alone anyway, so it wouldn’t even matter if they did.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. If it would do any good, he would march into Changkyun’s professor’s offices and demand they accept the late work. Instead he was stuck sitting in a cafe, listening to his distraught roommate explain his situation.

“And that’s where accessibility comes in,” Hyunwoo explained, “if all of your absences are because you fell asleep and you fell asleep because you worked two shifts overnight before going to class, then we should easily be able to get them waived.”

Jooheon sat up a little bit. If Changkyun’s absences good get waived and his assignments were graded appropriately then he would be able to pass the semester. He didn’t want to get his hopes up too much, but it was hard not to.

“I'm going to need copies of all of your work schedules from this semester. If you can get me all that information, I’ll set meetings up as soon as I can so we can get this taken care of,” Hyunwoo said, “in the meantime, you should take Hyungwon’s and Minhyuk’s phone numbers in case you need their help.”

Jooheon didn’t think it was necessary, but he passed over his phone anyway just in case. Once they had all exchanged numbers, he thanked Hyunwoo again for all of his help. They left the cafe and Jooheon waited until they were well out of earshot before speaking up again. “Are you feeling a little better?” he asked carefully.

"I think so," Changkyun said, "I don't think I'll contact either of them even if I do need help though. They don't seem particularly...friendly."

"You know I don't like to toss around the phrase 'Kihyun was right' ever, so I'm gonna go with I can't believe Kihyun wasn't wrong for once," Minhyuk said when the other students left. Kihyun had filled him in on the whole situation and explained his bet with Hoseok. He already knew quite a bit about the other boys, but he wasn't quite sure why Kihyun was so insistent they get properly together with Hyunwoo until now.

Hyunwoo groaned and glared at Minhyuk. “That’s not happening, especially if you two scare them off!” he said, “could you have looked any less interested?”

"Wait so you're saying if we don't scare them off there's a shot?" Minhyuk asked, suddenly much more interested in the situation. Little did Hyunwoo know there was a reward in it for him if he helped Kihyun win, and Minhyuk was not about to lose a bet.

"No," Hyunwoo said stubbornly, "I'm saying I would appreciate it if you didn't make them scared to come to me when they need something." Sure, the boys were attractive, but they were easily ten years younger than him and he just didn't feel comfortable with the idea of engaging in that kind of relationship while supporting them financially.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes, already halfway through concocting a plan. "We won't scare them off, I promise," he said sincerely. He had absolutely no desire to scare the boys away; in fact, he intended to do the exact opposite. 

"Please just leave them alone," Hyunwoo begged, "let the poor kids study in peace."

"We will, we will!" Minhyuk insisted, throwing his hands up in mock surrender, "we want to see them succeed just as much as you do." He had to fight to keep the sweet smile on his face from turning into a smirk.

"Hyungwon," Hyunwoo tried. "I take absolutely no responsibility for whatever Minhyuk is planning to do," the younger man said, not even looking up from his phone. Hyunwoo huffed.

"I'm trying to help them pass school like I'm supposed to!" Minhyuk said, slightly offended. He knew Hyungwon had a similar deal with Hoseok, and was a little annoyed Hyunwoo wasn't going to suspect him of anything.

"You are a menace and I trust you with nothing," Hyunwoo said, getting up with a sigh, "c'mon, I'll drop you two home."

Minhyuk pouted and stood up. "If you don't trust us why don't you just tutor them yourself?" he grumbled, "or better yet, come sit in on a session. Or! And hear me out here, let us use your place to tutor so you can keep an eye on us."

"Oh no, I trust Hyungwon fine, it's you that needs supervision," Hyunwoo said, "just...leave them be unless they contact you, okay?"

"I will on the condition that I can use your place to tutor them. Don't worry, I'll bring my own snacks," Minhyuk bargained. The boys probably wouldn't enjoy that much, but it would get them closer to Hyunwoo and that was all he needed.

"I'd prefer that you met them on more neutral grounds," Hyunwoo said with a sigh, "but fine. Only when I'm home though."

"Deal!" Minhyuk said happily, "now can we get home? I'm meeting Kihyun in a hour."

"Yeah, yeah, c'mon," Hyunwoo said. He was already tired and this new arrangement hadn't even started yet.

A few days after meeting with Hyunwoo found Jooheon on his couch. On his couch! He had forgotten what it felt like to actually enjoy being in his apartment. He had his headphones in and was currently working on putting together a demo clip for his final project.

Changkyun stalked into the apartment, slamming the door behind him. He couldn't  _ believe _ the audacity of his statistics professor. Walking right past Jooheon, he went into his bedroom and slammed that door too.

Jooheon jumped when the door suddenly slammed, shaking the whole apartment. He sighed sadly and pulled out his headphones. After setting his laptop aside, he went to knock on the door to Changkyun’s room. “Kyunie, what happened?” he asked carefully.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Changkyun grumbled, flopping down on his bed and curling up around a pillow. Stupid professors and their stupid prejudices. He hated it.

Jooheon carefully pushed the door open and stepped into the room. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. “Stewing is just going to make you feel worse. Please at least tell me what I can do to help,” he requested.

"Push my stupid stats professor off a roof," Changkyun said, voice muffled by the pillow, "he's gonna fail me even though the dean said he has to grade my work."

“If the dean said he has to grade your work he can’t get away with failing you,” Jooheon said. He was actually pretty angry. He wasn’t sure what this professor’s problem was, but intended on marching into the dean’s office the following morning and demanding something be done.

"He can if he claims that I cheated on all of it, which he is," Changkyun said miserably, finally rolling over, "he thinks I can't have possibly learned the material if I sleep through all his classes."

“But he’d have to prove you’re cheating and he can’t because you didn’t!” Jooheon exclaimed. Changkyun had worked so hard to turn this semester around after going through hell and this professor had the audacity to crush that effort to dust. Jooheon wasn’t about to let this fly.

"He has proof I've slept through nearly all of his classes and the academic integrity board won't need much else," Changkyun said miserably, "and if I get Hyunwoo involved again, he's just gonna hate me more. My only chance is my classmates saying that they all self-taught outside of class too, which they won't because none of them had a reason to." He felt his eyes welling up with tears. After everything, he was still going to fail.

“Hyunwoo doesn’t hate you. If they really suspect you are cheating, they are going to have to take more into consideration than just your professor’s word. I know sleeping through class and still passing is suspicious but they can’t fail you on suspicion and assumption alone,” Jooheon said. He didn’t like the idea of getting Hyunwoo involved anymore, especially because he didn’t think there was anything else the older man could do.

"Even if they won't let him mark me as having cheated, I know he's gonna give me the lowest possible grade and drop my GPA so I can't continue in the program," Changkyun said miserably, "I should just give up."

“No, no, you absolutely shouldn’t give up. And you are not failing out of the program because of one class,” Jooheon said certainly, “if he won’t pass you fairly, we’ll talk with the dean about getting you a chance to retake the class.”

"It just feels so bad, Heonie," Changkyun said. He laid flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. He had been in more of a funk than usual with the stress of everything happening. This whole arrangement was supposed to make everything better, not worse.

“I know this is incredibly discouraging, but we’re going to get through it. One baby step at a time. Not every professor is gonna be a decent human being so we just have to find you one that will help you get through this class. If the dean is understanding of the accommodations you need, I’m sure they’ll let you retake the class with no repercussions,” Jooheon said. Changkyun was taking this really hard and Jooheon wished there was more he could do.

"It's like no matter how hard I try, the universe is just telling me that I'm never gonna succeed," Changkyun said quietly, "and who am I to ignore the universe?"

“Oh, Kyunie, that’s not what’s happening,” Jooheon said softly. He laid a hand on Changkyun’s arm. “Some people stand in the way of our path to success and sometimes we have to make an expected detour around them. It’s challenging and it may not seem worth it at first, but eventually we’ll get back on track.”

"Back on track," Changkyun snorted, "I was never on track to begin with. It's fine, Heonie, I'll figure it out." He rolled to face away from Jooheon, effectively ending the conversation.

Jooheon pulled his hand back, almost like he had been burned. Changkyun was usually much more receptive to their conversations and he was almost a little concerned. He really hated the idea of leaving Changkyun to stew, but he didn’t want to make things worse. With a soft sigh, he stood up from the bed and left the room.

Changkyun felt a tear roll down his nose and wiped it away angrily. Great. Now his professor was mad at him and Hyunwoo was going to be mad at him and, worst of all, Jooheon was mad at him. Changkyun was really just a disaster today.

Jooheon went back to the couch and sat down. He pulled his laptop on his lap and stared blankly at the screen for a moment. There was no way he could focus on his project now so he closed his computer and went to lay in bed.

Changkyun wasn't sure when he fell asleep, but he wasn't feeling much better when he woke up. With a sigh, he rolled out of bed and grabbed his laptop. There was no point in doing his homework if he was just going to fail, but he needed to at least journal.

Jooheon left Changkyun alone for most of the next day. He didn’t want to make his roommate anymore upset with him then he already was. When he got home, he sat himself in the living room, that way if Changkyun wanted to talk to him he could.

Changkyun had dragged himself through all of his classes the next day. None of his other professors seemed to have an issue with him, so he braved another meeting with his stats professor, going in with his entrance exam scores as proof that math was just easy for him.

Jooheon was a little nervous when he hadn’t heard from Changkyun all day, but he withheld sending a text. Instead he forced himself to focus on his final project until his roommate got home.

The meeting had gone about as well as it could, meaning Changkyun got yelled at and belittled until he just walked out. So much for that class. Hopefully, next semester's section would be taught by someone else, because that seemed to be his fate now.

Jooheon looked up when the door opened. He sat there frozen and just stared at Changkyun. By the look on his face, he hadn’t had a good day and Jooheon was scared he was just going to make it worse.

Changkyun dropped his bag on the floor in the kitchen and made it way over to the couch. He collapsed on top of Jooheon, immediately wrapping himself around the older man.

Jooheon put his laptop to the side when Changkyun began to walk over. He held his roommate securely in his arms, not even dreaming of letting go. “I’ve got you, Kyunie,” he whispered.

Changkyun didn't say anything. He just clung to Jooheon like his life depended on it. He definitely needed it after the day he'd had.

Jooheon wasn’t going to push Changkyun to talk. Instead he ran a hand slowly up and down his back. “I’m sorry about whatever upset you, but we’re gonna get through this together. I’m gonna be here to support you no matter what and I’m always here to talk,” he murmured. More than anything in the world, he hated seeing Changkyun upset and hurting.

"Can we get Chinese food for dinner?" Changkyun finally asked, turning his head so he was speaking into Jooheon's cheek instead of his neck. 

“Of course. I’ll order it now,” Jooheon said. He carefully turned his head so he could see his laptop that was sitting on the floor. With one hand he reached down and slowly but surely maneuvered through the online ordering.

Changkyun poked Jooheon's dimple with his finger before kissing the older man's cheek gently. "You're the best," he said quietly.

Jooheon whined quietly. “You’re only saying that cuz I’m getting you Chinese for dinner,” he teased. Once he pressed submit on their order, he wrapped his free arm around Changkyun again, effectively pinning the younger man against him.

"No," Changkyun mumbled, "really. I don't know what I'd do without you." Jooheon was so much more than his best friend. The older man was really his lifeline.

Jooheon smiled softly. “Don’t think like that,” he said, “we don’t ever have to worry about that because neither of us are going anywhere.” He was glad that Changkyun wasn’t upset with him, but there was still an underlying problem they needed to fix soon.

"You're not mad at me about yesterday?" Changkyun asked, a little insecure. He knew Jooheon loved the shit out of him, but that didn't mean he wasn't above petty grudges.

“No, absolutely not,” Jooheon said quickly, “I’m just sad I wasn’t able to make you feel better.” He felt a little guilty that Changkyun thought he was mad.

Changkyun hummed but didn’t say anything. He stayed laying on Jooheon until the delivery guy knocked on the door.

Jooheon carefully shifted Changkyun off of himself so he could answer the door. He set the bag on the floor and pushed the small coffee table closer to the couch. Their couch was ratty already so eating in their living room was never a concern. He went back to the kitchen to grab utensils and then distributed the food.

Changkyun helped split up the various containers while Jooheon got chopsticks. “Thanks, Heonie,” he said quietly.

Jooheon smiled softly and sat on the floor across from Changkyun. He took a couple bites of food before breaking the silence. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked carefully.

Changkyun shrugged. “It’s no different than yesterday,” he said, “if I wasn’t gonna fail the class before, I definitely am now.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. “We’ll get you a better professor next semester. And it’ll be less to worry about because you’re familiar with the material,” he said supportively.

“I hope so,” Changkyun said quietly, “I have to talk to the registrar about signing up for it.”

“If you need it for your program they have to let you sign up for it. There’s no way they can refuse, especially with all the paperwork you have,” Jooheon said through a mouthful of food.

“Right, but I have to get them to open my account for registration now, rather than waiting for the beginning of next semester,” Changkyun explained, his cheeks bulging with rice and chicken.

“They might make you go into the office to do it, but that way you can register for everything you need then and not worry about it,” Jooheon said.

“I know that, Jooheon, I’m not a dumbass,” Changkyun said, a little cross. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew how the system worked. He was merely stating that he still had to finish up the process.

Jooheon mumbled an “I know,” before dropping his eyes back to his dinner. He poked his food around the container for another moment before setting it to the side. He picked himself up off the floor and went to sit at the kitchen table to work on his project.

Changkyun rolled his eyes when Jooheon retreated to the kitchen.  _ Of course _ the older man was upset now. Maybe if he stopped treating Changkyun like a baby, he wouldn’t get snapped at. With a groan, Changkyun retreated to his bedroom. So much for this day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jooheon has Jealousy Issues (and they're not even dating).

Jooheon gave Changkyun his space for the next few days. He hoped that once everything got ironed out with his classes and they got through finals, which were rapidly approaching, he would feel better. He hadn't seen his roommate all day, but he decided to wait in his bedroom instead of the living room today.

Changkyun had finally cracked and contacted Minhyuk. He was in the midst of a huge coding project and couldn’t figure out where his glitch was coming from and maybe a second set of eyes would be helpful. The older man had given him an address, which turned out to be a decently sized house in a very fancy complex. He rang the doorbell and was surprised when Hyunwoo answered instead.

Jooheon had forgone using headphones since he left them in the living room. He knew Chankyun would be gone for a while so he would have plenty of time to finish the project.

“Come on in, Minhyuk’s in the kitchen,” Hyunwoo said, stepping back so Changkyun could enter. It was weird to see the man in casual clothing. Jooheon would kill him if he found out that Changkyun was seeing Hyunwoo on his own, even if it was unintentional.

Jooheon had no idea how long he was working on his project for but it was still not done and he was hungry. With a huff, he slammed his laptop closed and went to make himself and Changkyun some dinner.

To Changkyun's surprise, Minhyuk was actually really helpful. He not only helped Changkyun locate the problem in his code, but he helped him fix it and improve the rest as well. Hopefully, his professor would be impressed rather than doubtful.

Jooheon was a little surprised Changkyun wasn’t home yet, but he couldn’t worry about that. He threw the extra food into the fridge and retreated back into the bedroom to put the finishing touches on his demo.

"Changkyun, it's getting late, do you want me to drive you home?" Hyunwoo asked, having realized how dark it was outside. "Yeah, actually, that would be great," the boy replied.

Jooheon finally,  _ finally _ , finished his demo. He was actually really excited with how it came out and would usually show Changkyun to get his opinion, but his roommate still wasn’t home. He uploaded the file to the cloud and shut down his laptop. Not even bothering to put his laptop or dishes away, he simply rolled over and scrolled through his phone.

"Thanks for the ride," Changkyun said when they pulled up in front of the building, "I'll keep in touch about the rest of the semester." With that, he headed upstairs.

Jooheon heard the front door open and close. He debated getting up to greet Changkyun, but decided against it. If his roommate wanted to talk to him, he knew where to find him.

Changkyun was feeling better than he had in days. "Jooheon," he called, "I’m home!"

“There’s dinner in the fridge for you,” Jooheon called back. Changkyun sounded like he was in a much better mood, which was a good sign.

Changkyun grabbed the plate out of the fridge and wandered toward Jooheon’s room. “How was your day?” he asked.

Jooheon rolled himself over when Changkyun came into his room. “It was good,” he replied simply, “sounds like you had a pretty good day.”

“I did, actually,” Changkyun said. He sat on the bed next to Jooheon, laying across the older man’s stomach like the brat Jooheon always claimed he was.

“That’s good,” Jooheon groaned as Changkyun laid on top of him, “are you gonna tell me about it or just continue to crush me?”

“It was just good,” Changkyun said, “I got a lot of work done and I got a huge project turned in.”

“Oh that’s good,” Jooheon said, struggling for air. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but Changkyun smelled...different. Maybe it was the fact that they hadn’t really hung out the past few days. No, that couldn’t have been it. It was a familiar scent, but still different. Suddenly, it clicked. Hyunwoo. “Where did you guys study?” he asked slowly.

"Minhyuk and Kihyun's house. Hyunwoo was there too," Changkyun said with a shrug, "he gave me a ride home too. Can't believe you ever thought he was dangerous."

Jooheon stiffened. Changkyun was with Hyunwoo ? And he got a ride home? That explained why he was gone for so long. “That was nice of him,” Jooheon said, his tone was forced, but he didn’t really care. He reached for his phone, effectively hiding his face behind it.

"It was," Changkyun said. He pouted when he saw Jooheon hiding from him. "Heonie," he whined, "I haven't seen you all day."

“Yeah and it was the best day you’ve had it a long time,” Jooheon pointed out. He knew it was stupid to be upset but he couldn’t quite shake the fact that Hyunwoo and Changkyun were alone for an extended period of time. There was no way that was an accident.

"Are you really jealous of my homework?" Changkyun asked incredulously, sitting up on his elbows. Jooheon really thought his day was better because they hadn't been around each other? Bullshit.

“Oh yeah so jealous of the homework that took you four hours and a trip to Hyunwoo’s to complete,” Jooheon snarked. He should have known something like this would happen ever since he read the flirty messages Changkyun sent a few weeks ago.

“I wasn’t even working with Hyunwoo, he was just there,” Changkyun said, annoyed. “Why are you so worked up about this?”

“Don’t sell me that shit,” Jooheon said, putting his phone down, “I saw those messages you sent. You mean to tell me you ended up studying with him  _ and _ got a ride home and nothing happened? Bullshit. You smell like him for fucks sake, Changkyun!”

“I borrowed a sweatshirt because it’s freezing outside! Sue me! How do you know what he smells like anyway?” Changkyun sat up, getting off of Jooheon. It hurt that the older man trusted him so little.

Jooheon rolled his eyes. “Oh a sweatshirt, how classic,” he spat, “we met with him twice and his cologne is strong. Whatever, Changkyun, just go keep doing whatever makes you happy.”

“You can ask him if you want; you’re the one that’s always texting him,” Changkyun threw back, “I don’t even have his fucking phone number, Jooheon, who the hell do you think I am?”

“You’re the one that flirted with him in the first place! The only times I’ve texted him were to ask for help talking to your professors. I just didn’t think you were going to start paying him back so soon,” Jooheon said flatly. He knew his and Changkyun’s relationship was more casual, but he thought it meant a little more than this to the younger man.

“He flirted first! Or whoever had his phone did, at least. What was I supposed to do, tell him to back off and risk him flaking out on us?” Changkyun asked. He stood up, gathering his dishes angrily. “It’s fine though. Just keep treating me like a child and not trusting me and see how far it really gets you, Jooheon.”

“You have a lot of fucking nerve to threaten me,” Jooheon said lowly, “I have been trusting you and all it’s gotten me is here. Just go keep buttering up Hyunwoo and I’ll be here. Hell maybe if you play your cards right you can move in with him before the start of the next semester.” Jooheon was furious and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and move on with his life.

“Maybe I will!” Changkyun yelled, “if that’s how little you think of me, then why shouldn’t I? I bet he’s a better fuck than you anyway. Better fucking person too!” With that, he grabbed his phone, dropped his dishes in the sink, and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Jooheon felt his chest tighten. His hands were shaking and he didn’t even have time to worry if Changkyun would be okay in the cold. He rolled back over and wrapped himself around a pillow. He trusted Changkyun with his whole heart and his roommate had shattered that in a matter of an afternoon. At least the younger man would be better off if he ended up with Hyunwoo. Jooheon knew he wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep soon, but at least he didn’t have to worry about his project anymore.

Changkyun regretted not grabbing a sweatshirt on his way out the door. It was freezing out and there was no one he could call except the one person he was mad at. It wasn't like he was going to bother Hyunwoo with this. Why didn't Jooheon trust him to make decisions for himself? That was what hurt the most.

Jooheon would have felt guilty if it weren’t for the fact that Changkyun lied to his face. His roommate could have very well texted him and let him know he was at Hyunwoo’s, but he didn’t. With a sad sigh he squeezed his eyes shut. Fleetingly, he wondered if Changkyun would even come back or if he would go to Hyunwoo’s.

Changkyun wandered aimlessly. Somehow, he ended up in the same park where they had first met up with Hyunwoo. He sat there, not even noticing when he fell asleep until he was being woken up roughly with a flashlight shoved in his face.

Jooheon was waiting for the door to open again, but it never did. Had Changkyun really run back to Hyunwoo so quickly? Jooheon scoffed to himself and buried his face further in his pillow. He fought the urge to check his phone; there was no way there were messages he missed.

Changkyun sat in the holding cell, stubbornly refusing to call anyone. He didn’t want to see Jooheon and he didn’t want to involve Hyunwoo, so he had no options. Besides, it was warm here.

Jooheon dozed on and off until his alarm went off the following morning. He snoozed it and wasn’t surprised that there were no new messages. Curiosity got the better of him and he peeked into Changkyun’s room. He slammed the door shut quickly when he realized the room was empty. He knew he should be worried, but he wasn’t. For all he knew Hyunwoo was keeping Changkyun plenty warm in his nice house.

“All right, kid, you’re free to go,” the officer said, unlocking the holding cell to let Changkyun out, “don’t let us catch you out there again, alright?” He nodded tiredly. As much as he didn’t want to see Jooheon, he just wanted to be home, so that was where he headed.

Jooheon went to his class but was barely focused. He came back to an empty apartment just as he expected. He wasn’t even angry anymore, just tired. After a few minutes of debating what to do, he finally decided on going to lay in bed and take a nap.

By the time Changkyun made it home, he could barely feel his fingers or his toes. He trudged through the kitchen and straight into the bathroom for a shower.

Jooheon jumped when he heard the door close and the shower start up. He was surprised Changkyun had come home so soon, but he didn’t worry about it for long before he was back to sleep.

Changkyun stood in the shower until he was warm and the water was starting to get cold. Once he got out, he went straight to bed, not even bothering to check if Jooheon was home.

When Jooheon woke up, he realized he slept through his afternoon class. Hopefully he didn’t miss anything important, but he couldn’t quite find the energy to worry about it. He had the whole upcoming weekend to get himself caught up.

By the time Changkyun decided to leave his room, it was well into the afternoon. He shuffled into the kitchen and started a pot of water for ramen.

Not much later, the smell of ramen wafted through the tiny apartment. Jooheon's stomach growled loudly, a reminder that he hadn't eaten all day. He groaned quietly to himself and rolled so his back was to the door. He couldn't risk seeing Changkyun right now so he just had to wait until his roommate went back into his room.

Changkyun leaned on the counter, fighting a yawn as he waited for his food to cook. He wondered if Jooheon was still mad at him.

Jooheon couldn't take it anymore. Swallowing his pride, he rolled out of bed and braved going into the kitchen. All he was gonna do was grab the first box he could get his hands on and retreat back into his bedroom. He had nothing to say to Changkyun so hopefully this would go smoothly.

Changkyun jolted awake when he heard the floorboard creak. “Oh, you’re home,” he said dumbly when he saw Jooheon.

“I’m surprised you are to be honest,” Jooheon said. He didn’t bother looking at Changkyun and pulled the cabinet door open with a little more force than he wanted to.

“Where else would I be?” Changkyun asked testily, daring Jooheon to accuse him again.

"Somewhere better," Jooheon said sadly. He snagged a box of Ritz crackers from the top shelf and turned to retreat back to his bedroom.

Changkyun snorted. “Yeah, prison is so much fucking better,” he muttered to himself.

Jooheon froze. "What did you just say?" he asked, not turning around.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” Changkyun said dismissively, turning the stove off and searching the cupboards for a bowl.

Jooheon finally turned back around. "What did you just _say_?" he repeated, much angrier this time. He wasn't about to let Changkyun get away with continuing to lie to him.

“Fucking nothing, Jooheon, back off,” Changkyun said, “I’m fucking exhausted and I don’t want to fight, so please just let it go.”

"Fine, continue to lie to me," Jooheon snapped, "and you have the audacity to wonder why I don't trust you." He turned around and disappeared down the hallway. This was getting out of hand and he wasn't going to waste his energy dealing with Changkyun.

“When are you going to grow up and realize that I don’t fucking owe you an explanation for everything?” Changkyun called after Jooheon’s retreating back. He was fed up with this bullshit.

"When I stop giving a shit about you, but don't worry, at this rate that won't be much longer," Jooheon shouted back. He slammed his bedroom behind him. He was seething and was shaking so bad he had to put the box of crackers down so he didn't drop it.

Changkyun nearly dropped the bowl. There was no way that Jooheon actually meant that. He was just angry, right?

Jooheon wasn't hungry anymore, which was probably the least surprising thing about this situation. He couldn't believe their relationship was deteriorating because of Hyunwoo instead of getting better, but sometimes life has a funny way of working. There was nothing else for Jooheon to do other than play on his phone until he fell asleep and that was exactly what he did.

Changkyun picked his bowl of ramen up, but his hands were so shaky that he set it right back down so that he wouldn't drop hot soup all over his feet. Suddenly, his vision was blurry and he had to wipe tears away from his eyes. Was Jooheon really going to leave him? Over something that wasn't even true?

Despite his best efforts, Jooheon wasn't able to fall asleep, which led his mind to wander. He knew he was probably overreacting, but he almost wondered if it would be better for the both of them if Changkyun went to live with Hyunwoo. He could find a smaller apartment and go back to working three jobs to support himself. More than anything he hated the idea of losing Changkyun, but sadly it seemed like that's where things were heading.

Changkyun wasn't even hungry anymore. He left the soup on the counter and went to hide in his room. Before he knew it, he was openly sobbing into his pillow. He just wanted Jooheon back.

Jooheon froze when he heard sobbing coming from Changkyun's room. He knew it was his fault, but he didn't know what to do. He was still upset and he couldn't simply forgive Changkyun that easily, but he still cared a lot about the younger man. After a few minutes of debate he decided to try one last time, if Changkyun pushed him away again then there was nothing more to do. He knocked softly on his roommates door. "Can I come in?" he asked quietly.

"Y-Yeah," Changkyun said, sniffling as he pulled his blanket up to his shoulders. He didn't really want to see Jooheon, but he didn't want to push him away either.

Jooheon pushed the door open, but only took one step into the room. "Look, I'm not gonna sugar coat things: I'm pissed. I don't like being lied to and I especially don't like being threatened. I care about you, Changkyun, a lot, and that's why I want to know what's going on. I want to make sure you're safe and that I'm doing everything I can to protect you. I don't mean to baby you, but when you pull shit like this it's hard. I understand I've said some things that are hurtful and that I can't take them back so all I can do is offer an apology. I understand that you're pissed at me and probably don't want to see me right now and I respect that. I'm willing to work this out if you're willing to start telling the truth, but if you don't want to fix things I understand and I can ensure you never have to deal with me again," he said. The anger was slowly draining from his body and replacing itself with a horrible combination of guilt and sadness.

"You don't like being threatened, but you threatened me," Changkyun said quietly, "you also accused me of some really hurtful things and you didn't bother to try and check on me when I was gone all night. I don't care how much you want to protect me, Jooheon, I'm an adult and I  _ don’t _ owe you every explanation. I'm sorry if that changes how you feel about our friendship."

Jooheon sighed and leaned against the wall. "Fine, you're right. You don't owe me anything. So you don't owe me an explanation of what happened last night, and I shouldn't be so concerned since you're an adult and you obviously handled it. Maybe it'll be better for the both of us if we start living strictly as roommates," he said. He hated the idea, but he couldn't live with the obvious tension that was radiating through the room.

"That's not what I want," Changkyun said, finally sitting up, "I just want you to let me be a little more independent. I want you to  _ trust _ me more. Nothing happened between me and Hyunwoo. Nothing is going to happen between me and Hyunwoo. I spent last night in a holding cell because I fell asleep in the park and got caught by the cops. I'm tired of fighting you."

Jooheon's eyes widened. "Changkyun, why the fuck didn't you ca-" He stopped himself. "Look, I'm sorry you had a shitty night, but I can't trust you if you won't tell me the truth. I had to drag the fact that you went to Hyunwoo's out of you. I get you're an adult, but last night is the perfect example of how I could have helped you. I promise I'll stop being so overbearing, but that means you also need to start making better decisions," Jooheon said. He was exhausted and quite frankly just wanted this conversation to be over. 

"You're not my  _ dad _ , Jooheon," Changkyun said with a sigh, "if you insist on being so overbearing about this, then maybe it is better if we stop being so intimate with each other."

"I think you're right. We can even start tonight and hopefully everything will fix itself within the next week," he said tiredly. Sure, this probably wasn't the best solution, but if it's what worked, Jooheon wasn't going to complain. 

Honestly, Changkyun wasn't even all that annoyed with Jooheon being a little possessive. What bothered him was that the older man didn't seem to understand  _ why _ he was upset about it. "I guess that works," he said quietly.

"Do you need anything else before I go to bed?" he asked. He couldn't quite tell if everything was calming down because they were both exhausted or if things were falling into place again.

"No," Changkyun said softly. He laid back down with a sigh. "Good night."

"Good night, Changkyun," Jooheon said. He slipped out of the room and went to his own. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep.

"Love you," Changkyun whispered to the empty room. His entire body ached, but not for any physical reason. No, it was the pain of losing Jooheon and his comfort that was hurting him, from his chest out.

Jooheon woke up feeling different. He wasn't quite sure if it was a good or a bad different, but he would figure it out eventually. Even though he didn't have class until that afternoon, he wasn't keen on spending the morning in the apartment so he headed to campus.

Changkyun felt weighed down, like there was a physical force keeping him in bed. He knew it was his own fault for neglecting to get back on his medications, but he simply couldn't find the motivation to get to a doctor and get a new prescription. Somehow, he managed to force himself out of bed and to class, but he barely paid any attention.

Jooheon plopped himself down on the couch when he got home from class. He wasn't going to hide in his room when they had a perfectly comfortable living space to use. He was a little curious what Changkyun would do when he got home, but that remained to be seen.

Minhyuk texted Changkyun, asking if he wanted to meet up again. Hyunwoo was busy, he said, so they'd have to meet up on campus. Changkyun almost said no, just so he wouldn't have to argue with Jooheon again, but then he remembered that Jooheon didn't own him and his grade was more important anyway, so they planned to meet up at the campus cafe.

Jooheon ended up falling asleep on the couch, but woke up before Changkyun got home. He was a bit confused, but then he remembered it was absolutely none of his business. For all he knew, his roommate was hanging out with some new friends, people that made him happy. While the thought stung, Jooheon knew he simply had to get used to their new reality.

"You don't look that great," Minhyuk commented when he sat down across from Changkyun. "Gee, thanks," the younger said sarcastically. "Sorry," Minhyuk said with a shrug, "but seriously, is everything okay?"

Jooheon made himself a small dinner, which really just consisted of reheating some old leftovers they had. He didn't really want to lay on the couch anymore so after he ate, he grabbed his laptop and went into his room to do some work.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Changkyun lied, "I just haven't been sleeping very well lately." Well, that part wasn't a lie at least. Minhyuk seemed to understand that he didn't want to talk and they got to work.

Jooheon was actually much more productive than he anticipated. Finals were only a couple weeks away and his projects were either done or almost there and he knew his exams were going to go well.

Changkyun felt bad for wasting Minhyuk's time. They barely got any work done in the time they were together. By the time he got home, he was just feeling even worse.

Jooheon heard the door open and close and was glad Changkyun was home at a decent hour. He didn't think his roommate would want to talk, but he wasn't exactly hiding if he did.

Changkyun went straight to his room and dropped into bed without changing. With luck, he would fall asleep quickly without having to deal with Jooheon.

Jooheon only bothered to leave his room to take a shower. He had created a playlist of his demos and listening to them while he showered helped him kill two birds with one stone. It was easier to find spots he wanted to tweak when he was more relaxed and slightly distracted.

Changkyun should have known better. Of course he wasn't going to be able to sleep, especially with Jooheon blasting music in the shower. 

By the time Jooheon finally finished showering, he had a laundry list of things he wanted to fix. He quickly finished up in the bathroom and went back to his room to keep working. 

Changkyun wondered how it was so easy for Jooheon to just act like there had never been anything between them. It crossed his mind that maybe the older boy simply had just seen him as akin to a child whose feelings he didn't want to hurt, but he tried to push that thought away. 

Jooheon was glad he had the distraction of his schoolwork to keep his mind off Changkyun. He really should have listened to his roommate sooner. It was a weight off his shoulders not to worry as much, and hopefully that could help mend their friendship sooner rather than later. Yeah it stung that they probably would never get back to where they were, but Jooheon had blown that option to bits, so it was really no use dwelling on it. 

The part that hurt and confused Changkyun the most was that Jooheon still seemed to think he was blameless. The older man had, in the same breath, said that he expected full transparency and reports of his day, as if Changkyun was his child or something, while also promising to no longer be over-bearing. Changkyun didn't think Jooheon would be able to see his faults even if he stared himself in the mirror.

Jooheon was surprised when Changkyun didn't start warming up even a few days later. He had tried being at least pleasant as any friend would, but it didn't seem to be helping. He no longer bothered Changkyun about where he disappeared to or even what he was up to. Maybe it was just best if they reduced their relationship to nothing more than roommates.

Changkyun had met up with Minhyuk a few more times over the next few days, but always on campus now. He was avoiding being at home unless necessary and was expecting Jooheon to yell at him any day now.

Jooheon couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to pester Changkyun, but this plan obviously wasn't working and they needed to try something else. He didn't want to corner the younger man so he texted him one afternoon. "We need to figure out something better. I know you don't really want to talk to me but it’s probably better if we do this in person." 

And there it was. "I don't know when I'll be home," Changkyun texted back vaguely, "just get whatever you need to say over with."

Jooheon was prepared to have this conversation over text so he immediately began typing. "Our relationship obviously isn't improving so I think it's time to stop pretending we're going to fix this. You shouldn't avoid being home just because you don't want to see me. I'm willing to work out any conditions you want, but we need to figure out something that's going to work for both of us."

"Who says I'm avoiding you?" Changkyun texted back, "I'm busy, Jooheon. My life doesn't revolve around you." With a huff, he shoved the phone in his backpack.

Jooheon just wanted to fix this and of course Changkyun had to act like a child instead of simply handling the situation. "You're never home and it's not because you find the library chairs comfortable. When you're ready to handle this like an adult, you know where to find me." At this point, Jooheon didn't think he could consider Changkyun anything more than a roommate. The younger man didn't understand how immature he could be at times, but it looked like he was going to have to figure that out on his own.

Changkyun heard his phone go off again, but he ignored it, shoving earbuds in his ears and focusing on the work in front of him. Jooheon's egotistic ass could wait.

Jooheon was incredibly annoyed, but he forced himself to ignore it. There was no use giving into Changkyun because it would only end in another argument that wouldn't end well and he didn't have the energy for that. What he did have the energy for was compiling some resources together. He had wanted to move for a long time and he figured this was the perfect opportunity to do so. If Changkyun wanted to come with him, they could continue life as it was, and if he didn't this would solve the plethora of problems between them.

By the time Changkyun finally left the library, it had been a few hours. "I'll be home in half an hour," he texted Jooheon, "maybe try to pull your giant head out of your ass in the meantime."

Jooheon scoffed as he read Changkyun's message. "Sure thing. I'll stop searching for new two bedroom apartments too while I'm at it," he replied. He immediately switched his search to one bedroom apartments, it was about time he had some back up plans anyway.

Changkyun read Jooheon's message and chose to ignore it. Taking a deep breath, he climbed on the bus headed home. Hopefully, they would be able to talk this out.

Jooheon actually wasn't expecting to hear the door thirty minutes later, but he did. He was a little impressed to be honest. Staying quiet, he waited in his room for Changkyun to come in.

Changkyun dropped his back on his bed then went and knocked on Jooheon's door. "I'm home if you still want to talk," he said, a little annoyed.

"Yeah, I do. Come on in," Jooheon said. He hated how stiff he sounded, but it was the new reality he was slowly getting used to.

Changkyun pushed the door open, but didn't go any further than the doorway. "Well?" he asked when Jooheon didn't say anything.

Jooheon forced himself not to roll his eyes. "I'm gonna skip the pleasantries because I know neither of us have the energy for that. I honestly don't know how our relationship got destroyed so quickly, but it did so we have to deal with it. Whatever this," he gestured between himself and Changkyun, "is, it isn't working and we need to figure something out quick so we aren't both miserable."

“That’s hilarious to me, because you’re the one that destroyed it,” Changkyun said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe, “I asked you repeatedly not to baby me or treat me like a child, and you continued to demand to know where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing at all times, like I’m some sort of delinquent teenager. You refused to trust me, not only to make my own decisions but also to make decisions regarding both of us, and you still refuse to take the blame for your part in ruining our relationship. I’m not going to have this conversation with you until you own up to the shitty way you treated me - still treat me, in fact - and start to treat me like an adult.”

“Changkyun, I’ve barely talked to you over the past few days so please let me know how I am continuing to treat you like a child. You demand all this respect from me, but we can’t even have a conversation over text without you making a snarky, unnecessary comment. I told you I was sorry and I backed off like I promised. I don’t know what else you want from me,” Jooheon said, keeping his voice even. He was just trying to figure out how to live peacefully together and of course Changkyun was being difficult.

“You said you would back off and in the same sentence attempted to parent me. You don’t let me keep anything private from you, even though you don’t tell me jack shit, and I know the only reason you haven’t been constantly breathing down my shoulder is because I haven’t been home,” Changkyun said all in one breath. He paused to compose himself. “You also never apologized to me. All you gave me was a shitty acknowledgement of your shitty behavior which you then continued to do. You’re such a fucking hypocrite, Lee Jooheon. Tell me not to lie to you, then lie to my face. Tell me not to be childish or snarky when you’re both and usually both first. Maybe I do need to grow up, but so do you.”

“I don’t tell you anything because I have nothing to say. I stopped bothering you because you asked, not because you weren’t home. I’m not lying to you and I’m also done arguing in circles,” Jooheon said patiently, “I just want you to tell me what the fuck you want to do so we can figure this out. I’m sorry I cared and I’m sorry to be so worried, but you already don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

“I told you what I want,” Changkyun said. He was steadily losing patience. All Jooheon did was ignore him and act like he was an idiot. “I want you to own up to your actions and correct them. I want you to stop controlling me and gaslighting me and then maybe we can be friends again.” It pained him to say, pained him to give Jooheon that out, but he had no choice. If losing him entirely wasn’t enough to wake Jooheon up, then obviously nothing was.

“How many times do you want me to say I’m sorry? I left you alone for days and you still demand I leave you alone. I just told you I’m done worrying. I’m done having a say in your life and I’m done asking for details. You’re free to come and go. I’m sorry for being so controlling, Changkyun, and I hope you can learn how to make good decisions on your own,” Jooheon said, incredibly annoyed. It was hard for him to believe they could ever go back to being friends, but he was willing to try. Hopefully this way the younger man would start acting like the adult he claimed he was. This was an absolute nightmare and Jooheon never thought they would even get to this point.

“You’re the one that created the problem when you decided that I was lying to you about Hyunwoo,” Changkyun said, finally getting fed up, “the reason I didn’t tell you that he was there was because I didn’t think it was important. I was there to study and that’s what happened. I even told you that when I got home and we were talking.  _ You _ are the one that started making assumptions and accusing me of lying to you and cheating on you. I didn’t make  _ any _ bad decisions in that situation; that was all you. I don’t want to lose you, Heonie, but you have to stop blaming everyone else for problems you create.”

Jooheon was taken aback by the fact that Changkyun didn’t want to lose him. Judging by how the younger man was acting, that wasn’t how he truly felt. “You didn’t-“ Jooheon took a deep breath. This was going to keep going in circles and he was getting a headache. “I’m sorry for not trusting you, but when I had to drag the answer out of you that raised suspicions. On top of the fact that I know how worried you are to pay him back. I take responsibility for creating the problems, but you certainly haven’t helped them.”

“You asked me where we studied and I told you,” Changkyun said, confused now, “there was no dragging out of anything because there was nothing to hide. I got  _ defensive _ , sure, but that was because you were accusing me of sleeping around just because the guy had been nice enough to let me borrow a sweatshirt. And yeah, I’ve mentioned paying him back, but not in sex. A flirt here or there isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it doesn’t mean I’m gonna go and suck his dick. Why can’t you just admit that, this time, you’re the issue? You made this problem up out of your insecurities and I’m tired of you pinning it on me.”

Jooheon hung his head. Changkyun was right; he was insecure, but that was something that wasn’t going to go away. “I’m sorry for accusing you of something that wasn’t true. I’m sorry for getting so insecure, but that’s not something I’ll ever be able to change,” he admitted quietly. He didn’t want to lose Changkyun, but there was definitely irreversible damage to their relationship and he wondered how far it went.

“I’m not asking you to be less insecure, although I do think you’re much better a person than you think you are,” Changkyun said. He finally entered the room and sat next to the older man. “I’m just asking you to stop projecting those insecurities onto me. I know it’s hard, but can you at least try?”

Jooheon watched Changkyun hesitantly. “Yeah, I’ll try,” he mumbled. If they stayed simply friends, he wouldn’t have to worry about his insecurities getting the better of him.

“I would never dream of being with anyone like that, Heonie,” Changkyun said softly, “Hyunwoo...he may be objectively attractive, but I don’t want to sleep with him, not even for the money. I’d rather be broke and homeless with you than sucking some guy’s dick for an allowance.”

Jooheon nodded along. Try as he might, he couldn’t even muster a small smile. He opened his mouth to tell Changkyun he wouldn’t let him become homeless, but quickly closed it. It wasn’t his job to worry about that anymore.

“I don’t want you to completely stop worrying about me or checking in on me either,” Changkyun said, “I need that, I need to know that you’re there for me when I need you, but I also need to be able to make my own decisions and, if they’re the wrong ones, make my own mistakes. I know I need to grow up, but I can’t do that if you keep sheltering me.”

Jooheon continued nodding. “I’m always going to be worried about you, it’ll just be less out loud,” he promised. He just had to learn to let go and this was one of those things that was very all or nothing at this point.

“I’m still yours if you want me,” Changkyun said quietly, looking down and playing with his hands, "and I'll always be here even if you don't."

Jooheon ran his hands through his hair. “I still care a lot about you Changkyun, but I think we need to take things slowly and logically,” he said. He wasn’t ready to jump back into things, and he still wasn’t sure when, or even if, he’d be ready.

Changkyun closed his eyes and nodded. That hurt the most. Even though they’d clarified the miscommunications and reached a point of understanding, Jooheon still didn’t really want him. “I understand,” he said quietly, standing up and heading for the door.

“Changkyun, you know we can’t just jump back into things,” Jooheon said softly. It would take a while for him to adjust to everything so he didn’t see why taking things slow was a problem.

“I know,” Changkyun said, “I just miss you.” And there they were, back to the phrase that started this whole mess. He leaned against the doorframe again, watching his roommate apprehensively.

Jooheon sighed sadly. “Come here,” he said, reaching his hand out.

Changkyun stepped forward, feeling unsteady on his feet, until he took Jooheon’s hand in his own.

Jooheon stood as well and pulled Changkyun the rest of the way against him. He hugged his roommate gently, giving him the freedom to pull away.

Changkyun wrapped his arms around his roommate’s neck tightly and buried his face in Jooheon’s shoulder. Even though things still weren’t better, he could feel some of the tension bleed out of him.

Jooheon tightened his grip on Changkyun ever so slightly. He carefully sat back down on the bed and guided his roommate to sit next to him.

Changkyun could feel himself tearing up as he sat next to Jooheon. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbled, wiping the wetness away with his shirt sleeves.

Jooheon sighed sadly. He carefully wiped the few stray tears that remained away with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry,” Changkyun mumbled, looking away from Jooheon, “this week has just been so...miserable.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Kyunie,” Jooheon murmured. He combed his hand through Changkyun’s hair. It was a little unruly and greasy, almost like the younger hadn’t showered in a few days.

“How was it so easy for you?” Changkyun asked apprehensively. This was what he was really anxious about, that Jooheon, in the end, wouldn’t actually want him.

Jooheon took a deep breath. “I thought you were happier without me. Everything I was doing was making you more and more upset so it was easier to pull completely away then risk hurting you more. It was a lot of assuming on my part, but it was easier to let go of my feelings so you could be happy,” he said quietly, “it’s not fair to demand you be miserable with me when you could be happy without.”

“Heonie, I’ll always be more miserable without you than I ever could be with you,” Changkyun said. He cautiously took Jooheon’s hand and wove their fingers together. “The part that hurt the most was that you were able to let go so easily, like it had never mattered to you.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Like  _ I _ had never mattered to you.”

Jooheon paused for a moment before letting his fingers curl around Changkyun’s. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I was angry about what could have happened with Hyunwoo and assumed you all but tossed me to the side. That coupled with that fact that every time we talked it just got worse and worse. I pulled away to save myself from dwelling on something I worried I would never get back,” he mumbled, “you mean so much to me and you always will.”

“I would never do that, Heonie,” Changkyun said, “You’re always going to be the most important person in my life. Hyunwoo is like...my dad, if my dad were a good person.”

Jooheon tilted Changkyun's chin towards him with his free hand so he could look the younger man in the eyes. "I'm so sorry this happened, Kyunie, and I'm so sorry I backed away so quickly. I really, truly don't want to lose you and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure this doesn't happen again," he said sincerely.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Changkyun asked tentatively. After all this, he really didn’t want to spend another night alone.

"I was hoping you would want to," Jooheon admitted. He scooted back on the bed so Changkyun had room to lie down.

Changkyun laid down next to Jooheon, pillowing his head on the older man’s chest. “You really almost broke my heart,” he said softly.

Jooheon felt his chest tighten. He laid there for a moment before slowly laying one hand across Changkyun's back. "I'm so sorry, Kyunie," he whispered. He didn't say much more because he didn't want to risk his voice breaking. He felt so guilty, but he still couldn't shake how scared he was.

“It’s okay,” Changkyun said, “we’re okay now, right?” He turned his head to look at Jooheon.

Jooheon looked down at Changkyun and mustered a small smile. "We're okay now," he replied in reassurance.


	6. Chapter 6

Somehow, they made it through finals together. They were both drowning, but at least they were drowning together. Before they knew it, the semester was over and while Changkyun had ended up failing that class, he didn’t feel horrible about it.

Jooheon was more than thrilled to be done with finals. Changkyun and he would finally have plenty of downtime to spend with each other and work on fully restoring their relationship. That idea only lasted a few days into break before Jooheon resorted to spending the day in bed. The cough he had earlier in the semester was back full force and it was taking a lot out of him. He was more than annoyed that he had to catch a cold just as he was finally done with school, but he knew it would be gone within a few days.

Changkyun had written Jooheon’s cough off at first, but when it started getting worse and the older boy started developing a fever, he got worried. “Heonie, I really think you should go to the doctor.”

"For the hundredth time, I'm fine. It's just a stubborn cold. It'll be gone soon," Jooheon said. He was laying sprawled out on the couch with his arm draped over his eyes. He had gotten tired of staring at his bedroom ceiling so he had dragged himself out to the couch for a little change of scenery.

“Heonie, you’re not getting better,” Changkyun said worriedly, “what if you need antibiotics or something?”

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't need antibiotics. I'll pick up some more cough medicine tomorrow and I'll be okay," Jooheon said. He was getting slightly annoyed with how insistent Changkyun was being about him seeing someone. While they had the money for him to visit a doctor now, there was no point in wasting it so they could tell him to wait his cold out.

Changkyun sighed. “I just don’t like to see you sick,” he mumbled.

"I know, Kyunie, I know. Trust me, I'll be better soon," Jooheon said. Despite his promise, Jooheon didn't get any better over the next few days, but he still refused to see a doctor. One night, he woke up to an incredibly sore throat, as was the norm lately. He forced himself out of bed so he could get some water from the kitchen. As he was waiting for his glass to fill, a coughing fit took over his body and he had to put the glass down and brace himself against the counter. He inhaled sharply, desperately trying to catch his breath, and was caught off guard by the pain that seared through his chest.

Changkyun woke up to find Jooheon gone and got up to find him. “You okay?” he asked blearily as he padded into the kitchen to find the older man clutching his chest and leaning on the counter.

Jooheon felt horrible he had woken Changkyun up, but he was glad his roommate had come looking for him. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before and he was terrified. "It...it hurts to breathe," he whispered. He took shallow breaths, which was helping the pain in his chest, but was making him a little light-headed.

“Okay, that’s it,” Changkyun said, suddenly fully awake, “you’re going to the hospital. Can you walk down to the car or should I call an ambulance?”

"No, no, Kyunie, I can't," Jooheon said hurriedly, "we can't afford it." While they had the money for a lot of things now, a hospital visit wasn't one of them. All he wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep it off, but he knew that wasn't an option when his next breath caused another sharp pain to radiate through his chest. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he couldn't tell if it was because of the pain or how scared he was.

“You are more important than our fucking bills, Jooheon,” Changkyun said angrily, “we’ll figure the money thing out later. I’m calling an ambulance; you can barely fucking move.” He helped the older man over to a chair before picking up his phone.

"No don't, please," Jooheon begged, "if you really insist on going we can drive." He coughed again and nearly started crying. It wasn't nearly this bad yesterday and he had no idea how he had gotten so much worse so quickly.

Changkyun gave Jooheon a look, letting him know that he didn’t have a choice. He stepped into the other room to call the ambulance then came back to comfort his roommate while they waited.

Jooheon hated this. More than hating how sick he was, he hated how much Changkyun was worried about him, and now they were going to have something else to worry about. "I'm sorry," he whispered when his roommate came back into the room. If he had taken better care of himself, this would have never happened and they would never have to worry about how they were going to pay for the bills that were to come.

When the ambulance arrived, Changkyun held Jooheon’s hand the entire way to the hospital. He was glad that he was allowed to stay with roommate while he was wheeled into triage.

Jooheon had never been to a hospital before, but he quickly decided he never wanted to come back. It was hectic and loud and he had a funny feeling he wouldn't be out of here as soon as he wanted to. He kept a death grip on Changkyun's hand and talked as little as possible. The less he talked the less he coughed, and the less he coughed the less his chest hurt. 

It felt like forever before someone came in to see Jooheon. When they did, all they did was hook him up to an IV and take some blood.

"Kyunie, I want to go home," Jooheon whined quietly when they were alone. No one was doing anything to help him and felt like they were wasting their time by being there.

“I know, but we need to make sure you’re not dying, hyung,” Changkyun said, “I’m sure someone will be in soon.”

"I'm not dying, Changkyun, I have a cough," Jooheon muttered. Eventually someone came to take him for a chest x-ray, but not long after that he was back in the room. All he could do was wait for the doctor to come in so he took to playing with Changkyun's fingers and seeing how long it took for the younger to get annoyed with him.

Changkyun knew that Jooheon was trying to annoy him, but it was more comforting than anything. Even though Jooheon didn’t seem scared, Changkyun certainly was.

Jooheon was surprised that Changkyun hadn't swatted his hands away at this point. "You okay?" he asked quietly. He felt bad that the younger was worried, but there was nothing he could do right now. 

“I need you to be okay,” Changkyun said quietly, “and I know you think it’s nothing, but what if it is? I can’t lose you, Heonie.” At that moment, a doctor finally came in.

Jooheon tightened his grip on Chankgyun's hand. "Your blood work showed that you have an infection and the chest x-ray confirmed that you've developed pneumonia. We're just waiting for a couple more tests to come back so we can get a better idea of which antibiotics will work best for you," the doctor explained, "how long have you had this cough for?" "A couple of weeks," Jooheon admitted.

“You had a cough for a while earlier in the semester too, when things first got bad,” Changkyun reminded Jooheon, “for all we know, you’ve had this infection for a while.”

Jooheon nodded and watched the doctor scribble some notes down. "We are led to believe that you had walking pneumonia and because it was left untreated developed into a more severe case. Sometimes walking pneumonia can clear itself up, like it might have done last time if that was in fact what you had, and sometimes it gets worse like it did here. We're lucky we caught it when it did because pneumonia can cause serious health complications. If you find that the antibiotics we send you home with today aren't working for you, come back and we can run some more tests," the doctor said.

“How much longer until we can go home?” Changkyun asked. He didn’t particularly want to take Jooheon on the bus in this state, so he needed to call Minhyuk.

"I would say that you should be out of here in another hour or so," the doctor replied. After making sure neither of the boys had any more questions, the doctor took their leave from the room. Jooheon pouted and went right back to playing with Changkyun's fingers.

“I’m gonna make a phone call,” Changkyun said, gripping Jooheon’s hand for a moment before stepping out to call Minhyuk.

Jooheon reluctantly let go of Changkyun's hand. He had no idea who the younger man could be calling, but he forced himself not to worry about it. 

Changkyun was frustrated. Minhyuk was out of town, which meant he had to call Hyunwoo, but he didn’t want to get Hyunwoo involved until he knew exactly what it was going to cost him. With a sigh, he dialed the number.

Jooheon was a little nervous that Changkyun was still gone, but he just attributed it to being anxious to go home. He was distracted by a coughing fit that wracked through his whole body. With a sad sigh, he laid back against the pillows again; all he wanted was to be home in bed.

Changkyun was glad that Hyunwoo didn’t seem too annoyed. If anything, he was just worried about Jooheon. With a word of thanks, he returned to his roommate.

Jooheon didn't sit up when Changkyun returned, but he did reach his arm out. "Is everything okay?" he asked before he could stop himself. He knew he promised Changkyun he'd be less overbearing, but he couldn't help himself right now.

“Of course,” Changkyun said, “I just didn’t want to make you ride the bus, so I got us a ride home.”

Jooheon narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You got us a ride home? How? Who is it?" he asked slowly.

“Well, I tried calling Minhyuk but he’s out of town, so I had to call Hyunwoo,” Changkyun said sheepishly, “but he’s just gonna take us home, that’s it.”

"Oh fuck, Kyunie," Jooheon muttered bringing his hands to his face, "he's gonna be pissed." He was not looking forward to seeing Hyunwoo and for the first time all night was starting to dread going home.

“I think he’s just worried,” Changkyun said, “he didn’t seem mad on the phone.”

"Just worried? I find that really hard to believe, but I guess we'll find out for sure when he gets here," Jooheon mumbled. There was no way Hyunwoo was worried about him. Why should he be?

Fortunately, Hyunwoo arrived just as Changkyun was helping Jooheon walk out to the front of the emergency department. He got out to help Jooheon into the backseat of his car and didn't seem to mind that Changkyun sat in the back with him. "I'm going to bring you two back to your apartment to get clothes, but I would like you to stay elsewhere until we can be sure that there's nothing in your apartment making Jooheon more sick," he said as he started driving, "I'm house-sitting for Hoseok, but if you don't feel comfortable staying with me, I'll gladly pay for a hotel room instead."

“We appreciate it, but that really isn’t necessary,” Jooheon said quickly. He knew their apartment wasn’t the best place to be, but it wasn’t bad enough they had to go anywhere. What was the most confusing was why Hyunwoo was so concerned.

"I would rather you not end up in the hospital again over something easily preventable," Hyunwoo said simply, "especially when I'm the one footing those bills." He didn't mean to use the benefactor card against Jooheon, but he doubted anything else would convince him.

Jooheon felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He knew Hyunwoo was going to be upset and if he wasn't careful he was going to make it worse. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "whatever is easiest for you is fine for us." He hung his head and stared at his hands that were resting in his lap.

"I'm not upset with you," Hyunwoo said, glancing into the rearview, "I would just like to prevent this situation from repeating."

Jooheon nodded and mumbled an "I understand." He slowly reached over to Changkyun so he could hold onto one of the younger man's hands tightly. As long as his roommate was with him, he wasn't going to worry about where they ended up spending the night.

A few minutes later, Hyunwoo pulled up in front of their building. Changkyun slid out of the car and hurried upstairs to grab their things. In the meantime, the older man was left alone with Jooheon.

Jooheon fidgeted nervously in the backseat. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Hyunwoo, he just felt awkward being alone in a car with him. Hopefully, Changkyun would be back soon. After a minute, Jooheon couldn’t take the silence. “I’m really sorry for inconveniencing you, and I really appreciate everything you’re doing for us,” he said sheepishly.

"It's not an inconvenience at all," Hyunwoo said patiently, "it's not even really all that late for me. I've been meaning to check in with the two of you since your semester ended anyway."

Jooheon was not expecting Hyunwoo of all people to be a night owl, but he wasn’t going to question it. “I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but I have to ask. Why are you so...nice to us? I feel like all we’ve done is caused you extra work and given you more problems to worry about and you’re still so willing to help us. Don’t get me wrong we both really appreciate it, it’s just...weird having someone who cares,” he said. He realized he was rambling and quickly slammed his mouth closed.

Hyunwoo had to think about his answer for a moment. "I wasn't always in this position where I could help people," he said slowly, "and I understand the desperation of not being able to pay for food or rent. I'll be honest, I'm not the one that made my account on that site or chatted with you guys, but when I met you two and saw how much you two really needed some sort of support, I couldn't just walk away and say no."

It made a lot more sense why Hyunwoo wasn’t as pretentious as Jooheon was expecting him to be. “Wow, I...um, I’m really sorry for whatever you went through, and we’re really grateful for you agreeing to help us even though that wasn’t something you chose,” he said. This helped him lose some of the apprehension about Hyunwoo, but he still felt incredibly guilty.

“I’ve been lucky to be so successful in my business and I’ll admit that I’ve benefited enormously from capitalism, but I was always a bit...anti-establishment in college,” Hyunwoo said with a small laugh, “I have all this excessive wealth that isn’t going to ever be used if I keep it, so I might as well help support someone who really needs it.”

Jooheon smiled softly; Hyunwoo was incredibly selfless for someone in his position. “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is your business?” Jooheon asked. It dawned on him that he didn’t really know anything about Hyunwoo.

“I have a couple different businesses,” Hyunwoo said, “mostly government contracting, some non-profits, and a few manufacturing sectors. We invest too, when we can’t dabble in a field ourselves.”

Jooheon nodded along. He didn’t particularly understand all of that, but it seemed like a lot of work and a lot of...finagling.

“I have two friends that handle different departments,” Hyunwoo said, watching Jooheon’s expression in the rearview mirror. “Kihyun - he’s Minhyuk’s...benefactor of sorts - he handles all the government stuff, and Hoseok handles the manufacturing. I do the investments and the non-profits.”

Jooheon nodded again, but he was still a little confused. He wondered if this Kihyun was the one who got Hyunwoo into this position to begin with. Hyunwoo was obviously very smart if he had become such a successful businessman and Jooheon didn’t want to risk looking like a fool so he kept his mouth shut.

“They’re idiots,” Hyunwoo said fondly, “and they involve themselves way too much into my personal life for guys that have boyfriends, but I wouldn’t be where I am without them.”

A small smile pulled at the corner of Jooheon’s lips. It almost reminded him of his relationship with Changkyun, except they were much more than simply business partners. He wondered why Hyunwoo wasn’t in his own relationship. The older man was undeniably attractive and had a very pleasant personality. Jooheon quickly pushed the thought from his mind, that was certainly none of his business.

Changkyun finally returned to the car with an overstuffed duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “How are you feeling?” he asked as he slid into the car.

“Better,” Jooheon said honestly. Whatever they had given him in the hospital was working wonders and he hoped the antibiotics continued that. He reached out for Changkyun’s hand again.

Changkyun let Jooheon fit their hands together. “Did you decide where you’d rather stay?” he asked next, glancing at Hyunwoo.

Jooheon looked between Hyunwoo and Changkyun before dropping his eyes. “It might be less of a hassle if we stay with you, and I would hate to make you pay for a hotel on top of everything, but I understand if you would prefer us somewhere else,” Jooheon said. It wasn’t really an answer, but he didn’t want to be any more of an inconvenience than he already was.

“It’s up to you guys,” Hyunwoo said, “I don’t mind either way.” He started heading back toward Hoseok's house, not wanting to sit in that part of town any longer.

Jooheon looked up at Changkyun and took a deep breath. “Is it alright if we just stay with you?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said with a smile, “I have more than enough room.” Now that he had a definite destination, he drove a little faster. It was starting to get late, even for him, and these boys obviously needed bed.

“Thank you,” Jooheon said sincerely. He stifled a yawn and stared out the window until the car finally came to a stop. The house Hyunwoo was sitting was incredible, even in the pitch black of the night. Jooheon regretfully let go of Changkyun’s hand so he could climb out of the car.

Changkyun balanced the duffel bag on one shoulder and supported Jooheon with the other. They followed Hyunwoo inside and he showed them to a spare room.

Jooheon didn’t expect to be so shaky on his feet and he was grateful Changkyun helped him to the bedroom. It was taking all of his power not to collapse into bed, but he knew he had to get changed and somewhat washed up.

Changkyun let the duffel bag hit the floor as he helped Jooheon sit on the bed. “Do you think you can get changed on your own?” he asked as he set the bag next to him and started digging through it.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Jooheon said with little uncertainly. He didn’t like being dependent on people, but he would rather swallow his pride than risk making things worse.

Changkyun handed Jooheon some clean clothes. “I think you’ll be okay if you skip brushing for tonight,” he said conversationally, “you really should just get to bed.”

Jooheon nodded and pushed himself up to stand. He immediately fell backwards onto the bed and huffed in annoyance. On his second try he was able to stand properly and slowly got himself changed. When he was in clean clothes he collapsed back onto the bed and waited for Changkyun.

Changkyun had given Jooheon some privacy to get changed and went to find Hyunwoo and thank the older man for helping them out. When he came back, he found Jooheon already laying down. “Get under the covers, you weirdo,” he said fondly.

Jooheon whined quietly, but did as he was told. He was struggling to keep his eyes open, and he knew the moment Changkyun laid down with him he would be out like a light.

"You really scared me," Changkyun said as he laid down and pulled the covers over them both. 

“I’m sorry, Kyunie,” Jooheon mumbled. He rolled over so he could wrap an arm around Changkyun and bury his face in the younger’s neck.

Changkyun held onto his roommate tightly. He knew it wasn't that bad, but he couldn't imagine losing his best friend.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Jooheon mumbled tiredly. Changkyun was so comfortable and within the next few minutes Jooheon was happily asleep.

The next morning, Changkyun woke well before Jooheon. He didn’t want to leave the older boy alone though, so he sat up against the pillows and moved Jooheon’s head to his lap. His face was starting to get red again and he would definitely need another dose of the antibiotics when he woke up, but for now, Changkyun was content to play with his hair and let him sleep.

Jooheon woke up to the feeling of fingers running through his hair. He hummed happily and tilted his head against Changkyun’s hand. He felt so calm and it was a nice change from the hecticness of the night before.

Changkyun smiled softly and continued playing with Jooheon’s hair. “You’re like a cat,” he said quietly, “or maybe a little puppy.” He wasn’t even aware of Hyunwoo watching them from the doorway, having come to wake them for breakfast.

“I’m just tired,” Jooheon mumbled. He wrapped his arms around one of Changkyun’s legs so he was more comfortable and so that the younger couldn’t try to escape. He kept his eyes closed, happily reveling in the feeling of Changkyun playing with his hair. “You’re gonna put me back to sleep.”

“Good, you need it,” Changkyun replied. He leaned down and kissed Jooheon on the forehead. Hyunwoo slowly backed away from the doorway, giving them their space.

Jooheon smiled softly. “Wake me up in a little while,” he mumbled, already half asleep again, “I don’t want to overstay our welcome.”

“Of course,” Changkyun said. He continued playing with Jooheon’s hair until the older boy fell back asleep.

Jooheon happily slept for a little longer. He was still exhausted when he woke up, but he knew he couldn’t sleep any longer. Eventually he forced his eyes open and rolled over so he could look up at Changkyun.

Changkyun had fallen back asleep in the seated position. Although he would gladly stay up for days on end for Jooheon, the night before had been long and exhausting.

Jooheon smiled softly as he watched Changkyun. The younger looked so serene when he was sleeping and he didn’t want to disturb him. Instead he just continued to stare openly at Changkyun until he woke up on his own.

Changkyun woke up feeling disoriented but a little more rested. He smiled when he saw Jooheon watching him and playfully pushed the older boy’s face away. “Creep,” he teased.

Jooheon chuckled. “I’m sorry, you’re just so adorable when you’re sleeping,” he said.

Changkyun yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “We should get up,” he said, “you need your medicine and we need to head home.”

Jooheon nodded and pushed himself up. He whined as his head spun and waited for the dizziness to pass before pushing himself off the bed so he could get changed.

Changkyun stood up, letting the feeling return to his legs before he grabbed his own clean clothes. He changed right there and packed up the bag while waiting for Jooheon.

Jooheon was grateful Changkyun packed him his most comfortable sweatpants. “Alright, let’s go find Hyunwoo so we can thank him again,” he said once he was ready to go.

Changkyun slung the duffel bag over his shoulder and wrapped an arm around Jooheon’s waist. “You still have to take your meds,” he reminded him.

“I’ll take them when we get home so I can eat something,” Jooheon said. As nice as it was staying in this house, he just wanted to get home.

Based on the smell wafting through the hallways, Hyunwoo had made breakfast, but Changkyun would let Jooheon figure that out on his own.

“Come on,” Jooheon said, “let’s go home.” He all but pulled the younger man out of the room and didn’t get more than a few steps down the hall before the smell of food hit him. “He made breakfast?” he asked dumbly.

“Of course he did, the man’s practically a saint,” Changkyun said. He wasn’t surprised that Hyunwoo made them breakfast. If anything, he was surprised that Jooheon was surprised.

“Why is he so nice to us?” Jooheon asked quietly. Through their conversation in the car it was easy to figure out why Hyunwoo didn’t mind supporting them monetarily, but he still didn’t understand why that support extended past the money. 

“Because he’s a nice person,” Changkyun replied, “not everyone is going to treat us like trash, Heonie.” He smiled to Hyunwoo as he helped Jooheon sit at the table.

Jooheon hummed quietly and muttered a sheepish “good morning” to Hyunwoo. He hadn’t met anyone other than Changkyun who treated him like a decent person so it was hard to wrap his head around.

Hyunwoo smiled at them as he set a plate full of pancakes in the middle of the table. He actually felt better about this arrangement now that he knew the two were together. “Eat up,” he said as he sat across from Changkyun on Jooheon’s other side.

“Thank you for breakfast,” Jooheon said quietly. He had no idea what to make of this situation so he distracted himself by taking a pancake and eating it slowly. He knew Hyunwoo was being nice simply because that was his nature, but he couldn’t shake the thought that there was some sort of ulterior motive.

“Are you feeling any better, Jooheon?” Hyunwoo asked. He suddenly remembered the boy’s medication and got up again to get it off the counter.

“I am, thank you,” Jooheon replied simply. He took the medication from Hyunwoo and slipped it into the duffel bag after he had taken his required dose.

“Did you two sleep well?” Hyunwoo asked, “I know that mattress isn’t the best.”

"We did. I think we were both exhausted so we fell asleep pretty quickly," Jooheon said. To be honest, that was the most comfortable mattress Jooheon had slept on in a long time, but he didn't want Hyunwoo to know that.

“I got in touch with the guy that does my building inspections,” Hyunwoo said as he started to eat, “he won’t be able to get out to your part of town until tomorrow morning, so you two are free to spend another night here or I can put you up in a hotel instead. Whatever you prefer. Hoseok will be back tonight, but we'll have dinner and I won't be going back into the city until tomorrow myself.”

Jooheon had to force himself to keep eating. This wasn't necessary in the slightest, but he knew Hyunwoo wouldn't listen to him. It wasn't fair to make the man pay for a hotel for them, and Jooheon wasn't particularly fond of the idea anyway. He and Changkyun could easily stay quiet and out of the way in the guest bedroom. "If it's okay could we just stay here tonight?" he asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said, “Kihyun and Minhyuk are returning from their trip this afternoon so they and Hyungwon will probably all be over for dinner, but you’re under no obligation to join us.”

Jooheon chewed on his lip. He would much prefer to stay out of the way, but it couldn't hurt to join them for dinner. They didn't really have a chance to socialize with other people so it would be a nice change of pace. He snuck a quick glance at Changkyun before answering. "Would it be okay to let you know a little later?" he asked, "I'm not sure how I'll be feeling."

“Of course, of course,” Hyunwoo said, nodding quickly, “you don’t even need to let me know, just show up.”

"Thank you," Jooheon said quickly. He wasn't particularly hungry, but he finished the pancake on his plate anyway. He was a lot more tired than he expected and he was more than content to spend the rest of the day tucked into Changkyun's side in bed.

“You don’t need to keep thanking me for everything, Jooheon,” Hyunwoo said, trying to be gentle.

Jooheon opened his mouth to apologize, but quickly shut it. Instead he just nodded and dropped his eyes to his lap. He knew Changkyun was going to tease him for this later, but he wasn't worried about it right now.

“C’mon, let’s get you back to bed,” Changkyun said, getting up to help Jooheon up.

"I'm okay, Kyunie," Jooheon mumbled. He stood up slowly and leaned on Changkyun as they walked back up to the bedroom. He collapsed back into bed and let out a long sigh.

“I’m gonna go help Hyunwoo clean up,” Changkyun said as he tucked Jooheon in, “do you need anything?”

Jooheon shook his head. "Just some sleep," he mumbled, "and you." He was absolutely exhausted and he just wanted to cuddle with Changkyun until he felt better.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Changkyun said with a soft smile. He returned to the kitchen, refusing to let Hyunwoo talk him out of washing the dishes.

Jooheon wrapped his arms around a pillow and stared at the door. He wasn't usually this clingy, but he really wasn't feeling well. Hopefully Changkyun would be back quickly.

Once the dishes were done, Hyunwoo disappeared into Hoseok's office and Changkyun lugged the duffel bag back down to the bedroom.

Jooheon's eyes had grown heavy, but he forced them open when Changkyun came back into the room. "Come lay with me," he whined, untucking his hand from the covers to reach out for the younger man.

“Hold on, hold on,” Changkyun said. He dumped the bag near the door and rescued his laptop before crawling into bed.

When Changkyun finally climbed into bed, Jooheon wrapped his arms around him and held on tightly. "I hate this," he mumbled after a minute, " I just want to feel better already."

“I’m not gonna say I told you so, but I told you so,” Changkyun said, running a hand through Jooheon’s hair.

“I know, I know,” Jooheon huffed. He had no room to argue even if he wanted to. “Do you think we should go to dinner with Hyunwoo and his friends or just stay in here?” he asked.

“Depends on how you feel,” Changkyun said with a shrug, “if you don’t feel good, I’ll just sneak a couple plates in here.”

Jooheon nodded sleepily. “I’ll let you know when I wake up,” he said. Changkyun was so comfortable and he was already half asleep again.

"I'm gonna get some work done," Changkyun said. He'd managed to get his stats class over the winter term instead of retaking it with the awful professor, so he had some homework to do.

Jooheon nodded and rolled to the side so he wasn’t in the way of Changkyun’s laptop. “Don’t do too much today,” he mumbled.

"I won't," Changkyun said, "honestly, it's not that much anyway."

“Good,” Jooheon said, “wake me up when you’re done.” Not more than another few minutes later, he was back asleep.

Changkyun felt calm for once as he typed away. He was glad that Jooheon was finally going to start feeling better, but as he continued to think, he started to tense up as it occurred to him just how much those hospital bills were going to cost.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Just a quick note: although this is set in Seoul, you may have noticed that the healthcare is not based off of the Korean healthcare system. We are aware that it's a universal system (it was literally part of my undergraduate thesis), but for the sake of the story and making things just a little bit harder for Jooheon and Changkyun, we're basing everything off of the American "system." You'll see the same thing arise with insurance in a few chapters.

Jooheon had no idea how long he slept for, but he was feeling much better when he woke up. “What time is it?” he asked gruffly. He rolled back over so he could latch himself onto Changkyun’s side again.

"Quarter after five," Changkyun said, a little distracted. He had spent the day powering through his homework and had actually gotten through a good portion of the syllabus.

“What time is dinner?” Jooheon asked next. If it was soon or they missed it, he was content to eat in the room, but he was actually feeling up to going down if they could.

"Not sure," Changkyun said, "I haven't heard anyone else but Hyunwoo moving around, so I don't think we missed it."

“We should go down. You need a break from homework and I actually don’t feel that bad,” Jooheon said. He turned his head so he could look up at Changkyun.

Changkyun hummed. "You need to take your next dose of medication too," he reminded Jooheon. 

“Yeah I will when I get up,” Jooheon promised. He wasn’t going to brush off Changkyun’s concern anymore, especially after what happened. 

Changkyun saved his work and closed his laptop, setting it to the side so he could slide down and pull Jooheon into his arms.

“Hi there,” Jooheon said with a giggle. He happily snuggled closer to Changkyun and wrapped an arm around the younger.

“Hi,” Changkyun said. He smiled softly, squeezing the older boy tightly.

Jooheon hummed contently. He stared at Changkyun for a moment before leaning up and kissing his cheek softly.

“You’re very affectionate today,” Changkyun commented, “is sick Jooheon clingy?”

Jooheon pouted and whined quietly. “Maybe,” he muttered, burying his face in Changkyun’s neck.

“You’re cute, Jooheonie,” Changkyun said with a smile. He really was so in love with this man.

“Stop it,” Jooheon whined loudly. He couldn’t keep a smile off his face so he just buried his face more. “When I’m feeling better I’m going to get you back for this,” he threatened playfully.

“Oh, yeah? I bet you won’t,” Changkyun teased, “you like me too much.”

“You’re lucky we’re not home or I’d get you back now,” Jooheon grumbled. He untucked his head so he could press his lips against Changkyun’s neck.

“And how would you do that?” Changkyun asked. He tilted his head back almost involuntarily.

“Well for starters I’d give you a better reason than the cold to wear a turtleneck,” Jooheon said quietly. He scraped his teeth along Changkyun’s neck ever so gently.

“Oh, would you now?” Changkyun said. His hands naturally fell to Jooheon’s waist.

“I would,” Jooheon said with a smirk. He stopped when he reached the junction of Changkyun’s neck and finally sunk his teeth into the soft skin.

Changkyun whined and pushed at Jooheon’s face. “We’re going to dinner soon, asshole,” he complained.

Jooheon chuckled and buried his face in Changkyun’s neck again. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Jooheon quickly looked up just as it opened. He came face to face with someone he didn’t recognize and presumed it was one of Hyunwoo’s friends. “Hyunwoo sent me up here to see if you guys are coming to dinner,” he said, eyes darting between the pair of boys laying tangled together in the middle of the bed, “I’m Kihyun. It’s nice to meet you two in person.” 

Changkyun pushed Jooheon off of him and sat up. "I'm Changkyun," he said politely, "Minhyuk's told me a lot about you."

Kihyun smiled, holding back a chuckle as the other boy sheepishly hung his head. “I wonder what sort of things Minhyuk’s told you, but I’m sure I’ll hear all about that at dinner. We’re eating in like fifteen minutes if you guys want to come down,” he said.

"All good things," Changkyun promised. He got up and held his hands out to Jooheon, helping the older boy up and supporting him by the waist.

“That’s good to hear. With Minhyuk I can never be sure,” Kihyun said, “I’ll see you guys downstairs.” Jooheon tried to support himself, but he was still a little shaky on his feet. “Thanks, Kyunie,” he said. All his previous playfulness was gone.

"I swear to God, Jooheon, if you left a fucking mark on my neck, I'll kill you myself," Changkyun muttered as they started their slow journey downstairs.

Jooheon smiled at that. “No you won’t. You like me too much,” he teased.

“Are you sure about that?” Changkyun teased as he helped Jooheon down the stairs and into the dining room.

“I would hope so,” Jooheon muttered. He straightened up as they walked into the dining room and was met with a tableful of curious eyes.

Changkyun simply hummed, since they were in front of everyone, and helped Jooheon into his seat before taking his own.

Jooheon ended up sitting next to the only man he didn’t recognize at the table. He politely introduced himself and learned that this was Hoseok, Hyunwoo’s other business partner that was mentioned the previous night and the actual owner of the home.

Once Hyunwoo sat down, they all started passing around dishes and chatting as they ate. Changkyun stayed mostly to himself, watching more than anything.

Most of dinner consisted of Kihyun and Minhyuk bickering with the occasional plea from Hyungwon for some help. Jooheon chuckled along and really only spoke to answer questions that Hoseok was asking him. “You know, let’s settle this once and for all,” Kihyun said dramatically. He slammed his utensils down on the table and turned to Changkyun. “Be honest with me now, what has Minhyuk told you about me?” he asked.

Changkyun jumped and nearly choked when Kihyun slammed on the table. “Nothing?” he said hoarsely, reaching for his water as he started to cough, “yeah, pretty much nothing.”

Kihyun raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on, I want to hear some of these good things you mentioned earlier,” he said. “Kihyun, do you really have to do this?” Hoseok asked. “Absolutely,” Kihyun responded, not looking away from Changkyun.

“It isn’t really anything that he says?” Changkyun said tentatively, glancing at Minhyuk, “he’s just always really...bright whenever he mentions you or you text him.”

Kihyun hummed happily and sat up a little straighter. Jooheon didn’t miss the look he and Minhyuk shared. Out of his peripheral, he caught Hoseok rolling his eyes and had to bite back a chuckle.

“Oh, and he says you act like his dad,” Changkyun added on, taking a big bite before the older man could say anything to him.

Kihyun narrowed his eyes and stared at Minhyuk. “I knew there was something,” he muttered. “Oh knock it off, Kihyun,” Hoseok chastised, smacking the other man on the shoulder.

“I’ll be honest, I think he has some ulterior motives, because he mentions Hyunwoo hyung more than anyone,” Changkyun said, glancing at Jooheon quickly.

"Ulterior motives huh?" Kihyun asked directly to Minhyuk. "Alright, I think that's enough on this topic," Hoseok said, standing to clear his and Hyungwon's plates.

Minhyuk smiled sweetly in Kihyun's direction. "I'll help you clean up, Hoseokkie," he said, standing up and starting to collect plates.

Hoseok shoved Kihyun back down when he tried to stand up. The duo disappeared into the kitchen with the plates, leaving a grumpy looking Kihyun behind. Jooheon was starting to get tired again, but he didn’t want to be rude so he stayed put.

"I'll be right back, Heonie, I'm gonna go grab your medicine," Changkyun said. He got up from his seat and headed toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, Changkyun,” Jooheon said softly. “Medication?” Kihyun asked, switching his focus. “Yeah,” Jooheon said slowly, glancing at Hyunwoo, “I have walking pneumonia.” He figured Hyunwoo would have explained why he and Changkyun were at the house, but evidently not.

Changkyun managed to sneak and out of the kitchen almost unnoticed until Minhyuk slipped in front of him on his way out. "That's a nice mark on your neck, Changkyunnie," he said with a knowing smile.

“I’m not contagious anymore,” Jooheon asked quickly when he saw Kihyun’s uncertain expression. That seemed to calm the older man who nodded slowly. “I hope you feel better soon,” he said. “Thank you,” Jooheon said politely, but slightly unsure.

"It's nothing," Changkyun said stubbornly, "excuse me, I have a roommate to drug, please and thank you."

Jooheon took the medication from Changkyun when he returned and took immediate notice of how annoyed he looked. He didn’t want to ask now so he decided to wait until they were back in the room. “How long have you two known each other?” Kihyun asked conversationally.

"We grew up together," Changkyun said as he sat back down, "we've only been living together for about a year though."

“Aw, childhood friends, how nice,” Kihyun commented, “all jokes aside, was Minhyukkie as helpful to you as he claimed to be? I would hate to hear if your time was wasted.”

"Oh, absolutely," Changkyun said, "the only class I failed was the one I was destined to fail anyway because of the professor, and he definitely helped me pass comp sci."

Kihyun nodded. “I’m sorry to hear about that professor, but I’m glad Min was helpful to you,” he said sincerely. Hoseok and Minhyuk returned a few moments later and took their seats again.

When Minhyuk and Hoseok returned to the room, Changkyun found himself adjusting his collar to cover whatever mark may be on his neck.

“What did we miss?” Hoseok asked as he sat back down. “I was just asking Changkyun and Jooheon how they knew each other,” Kihyun replied. “I’m sorry you must be exhausted of his interrogation,” Hoseok said apologetically. Jooheon nodded, not fully registering the whole sentence until a moment later. He quickly stopped and turned his head down. He was exhausted for sure, but he didn’t want to come off as rude.

"Tired, Heonie?" Changkyun asked, running his hand through Jooheon's hair without thinking, "c'mon, I'll help you back to bed."

Jooheon nodded again. “Thank you so much for dinner and it was nice to properly meet all of you,” he said. He let Changkyun help him back upstairs and slowly got himself changed.

Changkyun got changed and laid in bed, waiting for Jooheon. He wasn't particularly tired, but he didn't want to leave the older boy alone either.

“You don’t have to stay with me if you would rather go back downstairs,” Jooheon said as he climbed into bed. He knew Changkyun was annoyed about something and he didn’t want to make it worse.

"No, I'd rather spend time with you," Changkyun said. He threw an arm over Jooheon's waist and pulled him closer.

“If you’re sure,” Jooheon mumbled, snuggling closer anyway. “Did something happen downstairs? You seemed a little annoyed when you came back from clearing the dishes.”

"Yeah, you left a fucking mark, you ass," Changkyun whined, "Minhyuk fucking saw it."

Jooheon chuckled, relieved it wasn’t something serious. “At least he and whoever else saw it knows who you belong to,” he said. He kept his head away from Changkyun’s neck and laid it on the younger man’s chest instead.

"Knowing Minhyuk, he's probably hoping it's from Hyunwoo," Changkyun mumbled, "he's got some weird fixation on getting the two of us together with him." 

Jooheon stiffened. “Well he’s going to be sorely disappointed because that’s not happening,” he said. He wondered how much of their tutoring sessions revolved around Minhyuk trying to convince Changkyun to go after Hyunwoo.

"Of course it's not," Changkyun said, "I'm all yours, Heonie." To be honest, Minhyuk had backed off a lot recently.

Jooheon smiled at that and relaxed against Changkyun. “Hoseok seems nice, but I can’t quite figure out Hyungwon,” he said, changing the subject. He didn’t particularly want to keep thinking about Minhyuk.

"I haven't really talked to him," Changkyun said, "he seems shy though." His gen-eds had been the least of his worries, so he hadn't had any reason to contact the taller man.

Jooheon hummed. “You should try to reach out to him. It would be nice for you to know someone else on campus next semester,” Jooheon said. Living off campus meant Changkyun had a harder time making new friends. Jooheon also knew he had to stop being selfish when it came to Changkyun’s free time.

"You'll be on campus next semester," Changkyun said, "that's all I need." He knew it wasn't necessarily the healthiest to only really be close with Jooheon, but that was how it had been his entire life, so it couldn't be the worst thing. Right?

“Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love spending time with you, but I think it could be good for you to make some new friends. Branch out a little bit. I’m only there for another year and a half and I’d hate to see you be alone the second half of your college career,” Jooheon said gently. Their schedule before Hyunwoo stepped in and Jooheon’s overbearing nature definitely made it difficult for Changkyun to make friends, but he was determined to fix that.

"I don't want anyone else," Changkyun mumbled, hiding his face in Jooheon's neck, "I've never needed anyone else before. Why start now?" He had been alone for the last two years of high school; why was this any different?

“Alright, Kyunie, alright. You don’t need anyone else, but maybe you can get more involved now that you have more free time. Join a club? Do an intramural?” Jooheon suggested.

"I'm just gonna focus on building my portfolio. Maybe I'll be able to test out of some classes and finish up early," Changkyun said, "I wanna get out of school and get a job as soon as I can."

“As long as you’re happy,” Jooheon said. He knew it was a lost cause so it let it go for the time being. He was much too exhausted to push the issue anyway.

"I'm always happy with you, babe," Changkyun said. Contrary to what he'd said earlier, he was growing more tired the longer he laid down and was probably only minutes from passing out.

Jooheon was a little caught off guard by the pet name, Changkyun didn’t use anything other than his nickname often. He hummed quietly and let his eyes fall closed so he could finally get some rest.

Changkyun passed out too quickly to really think about what he said, but when he woke again a few hours later, he was mortified. He and Jooheon hadn’t talked about being officially together and he hated the idea that he had made his best friend uncomfortable.

When Jooheon woke up, his chest was tight and it was hard to breathe. He focused on keeping calm and stayed stock still, hoping he didn’t disturb Changkyun.

Changkyun hadn’t managed to fall back asleep for long, still agonizing over what he’d said, and had ended up moving away from Jooheon during the night. When the older boy woke, he didn’t even notice.

After a few minutes, Jooheon couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed himself out of bed as carefully as he could and rifled through the duffel bag, looking for the medication. A small whimper escaped his lips in between the short, panicked breaths.

“Jooheon? Heonie, what’s wrong?” Changkyun asked, sitting up as Jooheon practically fell out of bed.

“I can’t really breathe,” Jooheon answered panickedly, “or find the medication.” He didn’t know why he was having so much trouble finding what he needed and it only made him that much more scared. He had to stop to cough loudly and took a few moments simply to recover before continuing to look.

“The medicine’s downstairs,” Changkyun said, “I’ll go get it. You just sit tight and take deep breaths, okay?” He was fully awake now and practically sprinted out of the room to rush downstairs. He grabbed the medicine and a bottle of water from Hoseok’s fridge before rushing back upstairs.

Jooheon sat down with his back against the wall. It was hard to take deep breaths with his chest so tight, but he did his best. “Thank you, Kyunie,” he said as he took the water and the medication graciously. He knew he was supposed to be on a schedule but hopefully taking a dose now could help knock out whatever flared up.

“Hey, everything okay in here?” Hyunwoo asked, peeking in the door. He appeared halfway dressed for work and a little frazzled. “I heard you running up the stairs.”

Jooheon felt horrible; he really didn’t mean to bother Hyunwoo on top of everything. “Yeah we’re okay. Changkyun just ran downstairs to get me some water,” Jooheon said as clearly as he could. He concealed the bottle of pills in his hand and tried desperately not to let Hyunwoo notice his labored breathing. He knew he shouldn’t lie to the older man, but he was scared he would be angry.

Hyunwoo looked at the boy on the floor with a raised eyebrow. “And that bright orange bottle in your hand that I know I left on the counter last night had nothing to do with it,” he said, a little sarcastic, “Jesus, Jooheon, at least say something when you’re not feeling well, okay?”

Jooheon flinched at Hyunwoo’s tone and hung his head. He bit the inside of his lip harshly to keep himself from whimpering again. He was scared and now Hyunwoo was pissed at them, which meant Changkyun was going to be mad. Jooheon was doing his best to keep himself together, but it was getting harder to breathe the more worked up he got.

“Heonie, breathe,” Changkyun said, sitting on the floor and gripping Jooheon’s legs tightly. “You’re gonna make yourself hyperventilate.”

Jooheon kept his eyes glued on his lap and forced himself to breathe slowly. He couldn’t take very deep breaths but he did his best. “I-I’m sorry,” he choked out.

Changkyun was worried. Jooheon didn’t have panic attacks like this often and he was sure the older man would be mortified that Hyunwoo had seen one. “C’mon, Heon, you know the drill,” he said quietly, “four in, pause, eight out.”

Jooheon was hyper-aware of the fact that Hyunwoo was still standing in the doorway, but he did his best to focus on Changkyun. He breathed in and out in time with his roommate’s quiet counting and slowly but surely began to calm down. His breathing was still shallow, but it was more from the infection than anything at this point. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled again.

“Hyung, can you help me get him back in bed?” Changkyun asked, turning to look at Hyunwoo. The older man stepped into the room immediately and bent to scoop up Jooheon, bridal style, and lay him in bed. He propped the boy up with a few pillows before stepping back to finish tying his tie. “I’m heading to work,” he said, “but I’ll let you two know when I hear from the inspector about your building. Get some rest, Jooheon-ah, okay?”

Jooheon opened his mouth to protest help, but before he could get the words out he was being picked up and laid in bed. He didn’t even have time to realize how effortlessly Hyunwoo moved him. He nodded slowly in response to the question and squeezed his eyes shut.

Once Hyunwoo had left, Changkyun climbed back in bed and laid next to Jooheon. “You gotta stop scaring me, bro,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry, Kyunie, I’m sorry,” Jooheon whispered sincerely. He was overwhelmed and his mind was a tangle of conflicting thoughts. He was angry this had even happened in the first place. He felt guilty for inconveniencing Hyunwoo and Changkyun with something that was preventable. But more than anything he was scared, terrified even. He just wanted to be home and have his life back to normal.

“Hey, no, you’re okay,” Changkyun said quickly, “let’s just take a nap for now, okay?”

Jooheon rolled over and shamefully buried his head in Changkyun’s neck. Despite being exhausted, he wasn’t able to fall asleep.

"Babe, you're fine," Changkyun said, rubbing Jooheon's back, "you're gonna be okay."

If Jooheon was feeling up to par he would have teased Changkyun about the pet name, but it barely even registered. “I hate this,” he said, to no one’s surprise, “I just want my life back. I just want to feel better and be back home, just the two of us.”

"I know, Heonie, I know," Changkyun said, "I'm sure we'll be back home in no time." He really hoped their apartment passed the inspection so they could get out of Hyunwoo's hair.

“Hyunwoo’s gonna be pissed when he gets back,” Jooheon whined. He didn’t think the older man would back out on them, but it was still in the back of his mind.

“Why would he?” Changkyun asked, “It’s not your fault you got sick. I promise, Heonie, he’s not mad.”

"We bothered him this morning and you could tell he was annoyed," Jooheon said. He exhaled shakily and wrapped an arm around Changkyun.

"He didn't come in because he was bothered, Heonie, he came in because he was worried," Changkyun said, "I think the only thing that bothered him was you trying to pretend you're not still really sick."

"It's not his job to be worried," Jooheon mumbled grumpily. He squeezed his eyes shut even though Chankgyun couldn't see him. 

"He can't help it if he gets worried," Changkyun replied, "he's human, Jooheon, not a robot."

Jooheon huffed quietly, but didn't respond. He didn't have anything else to say anyway. Laying against Changkyun was helping him relax and he knew he'd be asleep soon.

When Hyunwoo got back that evening, he was pleased but not surprised to find the boys still in bed, fast asleep. They both definitely needed it.

When Jooheon woke up again he felt much better. He was nervous to see Hyunwoo again, but that could wait until Changkyun woke up.

Changkyun woke up to a dark room. "What time is it?" he mumbled, not even expecting an answer. He wasn't expecting Jooheon to be awake yet.

Jooheon jumped when Changkyun suddenly started talking. "I don't know," he whispered. He wasn't particularly worried about the time and snuggled closer to his roommate, hoping he wouldn't worry either.

Changkyun reached out and grabbed his phone off the nightstand. "It's about dinner time, I bet Hyunwoo will be back soon," he mumbled. As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door.

Jooheon stiffened when there was a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, he unwrapped himself from Changkyun and sat up. He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his chin on them.

"We're up," Changkyun mumbled, sitting up as the door cracked open. "Dinner's ready if you guys want to come down. There's no one else here tonight, they all went out," Hyunwoo said quietly, shutting the door right after.

"Oh no," Jooheon muttered to himself. Without the buffer of the other guys, dinner was just going to be that much more awkward. "Tell him I'm not feeling good and that I went back to sleep," Jooheon requested, laying back down and latching onto a pillow.

"Heonie, you need to eat so you can take your medicine," Changkyun said, "c'mon, you can't avoid the guy forever. Plus, he's probably gonna take us home right after anyway."

Jooheon sighed; he knew he didn't have an argument. "Fine, let's go eat quick and get home," he grumbled. He pushed himself up and off the bed a little too quickly.

Changkyun managed to catch Jooheon just in time to keep him from tumbling to the floor. "Careful, stupid," he mumbled as he helped the elder toward the door.

"You know you should really be nice to me. I'm sick  _ and _ I'm older than you," Jooheon said, only half-serious. He really was grateful for Changkyun and had no idea where he would be without the younger man, especially now.

"Yeah, and you're stupid," Changkyun said, as if it was just another fact. If Jooheon was gonna go around not taking care of himself, then Changkyun was gonna call him any names he wanted to.

Jooheon huffed and shoved Changkyun away, opting to lean on the railing to go down the stairs instead. "You'll take that back one of these days," he grumbled.

Changkyun laughed and kept close to Jooheon's side so he could support the older boy once they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Jooheon paused before they entered the dining room. He knew he was being childish, but he was as nervous to see Hyunwoo now as he was the very first time they were meeting him.

"C'mon, you wimp," Changkyun muttered, pulling Jooheon with him and all but shoving him in a chair across from Hyunwoo.

Jooheon kept his head down and mumbled a quiet, but polite greeting to Hyunwoo. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m sorry about this morning, I really didn’t mean to inconvenience you,” he said.

"You didn't inconvenience me at all," Hyunwoo said, "I'm just glad you seem to be feeling better now."

Jooheon was pleasantly surprised Hyunwoo wasn't angry and wasn't going to push the issue any further. "Thank you," he said quietly, "have you...have you heard anything about our apartment?"

Hyunwoo sighed. Jooheon wasn't going to like this. "The inspector actually, uh, condemned the whole building," he said slowly, "fortunately, there were only two other apartments being used and I've already helped to get those families relocated. You'll be able to go tomorrow and get all your stuff, but they're going to demolish it."

Jooheon froze. He mumbled a quiet "oh" and ran his hands through his hair. Thankfully he had saved all of the apartments he found during his and Changkyun's argument so hopefully they could find one they liked and get moved in quickly. He didn't like the idea of staying at Hoseok's any longer.

"That's...unideal," Changkyun said, setting his chopsticks down, "we'll start looking for apartments when we get upstairs so we can get out of your hair."

"I have some saved," Jooheon admitted slowly, "I'll show you them and we should be able to pick something tonight and get in contact with a landlord sooner rather than later."

"If you two wouldn't mind it, I actually own an apartment building on the other side of the university campus," Hyunwoo offered, "it's quite a bit nicer than where you were and since I own it, neither of us would have to worry about rent payments."

Jooheon looked at Changkyun. He tried to think of a reason why this wouldn't be a good idea and he was coming up empty. "That could actually work," he said cautiously. He didn't want to say anything for certain, but he figured Changkyun would like the idea.

"We'll talk about it," Changkyun said. He knew it wouldn't cost Hyunwoo anything extra, but he wanted to make sure Jooheon was actually okay with it.

Jooheon nodded and turned back to his dinner. The only way this would turn against them was if Hyunwoo stopped supporting them, and in that case they would just have to start paying for rent themselves.


	8. Chapter 8

After talking it over later that night, Changkyun and Jooheon eventually decided to go with Hyunwoo's plan. It was simply easier. Two days later, they were fully moved in and comfortable.

The apartment was the nicest place Jooheon had ever lived, even when he was with his parents, and it was a bit overwhelming. They had more space than they needed and Jooheon was already worried about how they were going to keep it clean when they were both back in the full swing of school next semester. The one thing he knew he would quickly get used to was having a couch that wasn't broken to relax on.

Even though Hyunwoo had given them an apartment with two bedrooms, they rarely used the second one. They still hadn't discussed their relationship either but it was progress. Right?

Jooheon's cough wasn't as bad anymore, but it was still lingering. The worst thing was how exhausted he felt almost constantly and it was taking its toll. He rarely saw Changkyun and if he did it was usually to drag the younger to bed with him so they could nap together.

It had taken nearly every available hour of every day, but Changkyun managed to finish his coursework nearly two weeks early. Now he actually had time to spend with Jooheon, instead of working his ass off.

Jooheon was more than happy to have a lazy morning with Changkyun. They hadn’t really had a chance to enjoy the break until now and it was incredible.

Changkyun was playing on his phone while Jooheon laid on his chest. “Hey, will you be okay if I go shopping with Minhyuk this afternoon?” he asked.

"Yeah, of course," Jooheon replied, "you guys have fun. Get something nice for yourself." He was glad that Changkyun was spending some time with Minhyuk outside of tutoring.

“I’m gonna try and get a new laptop,” Changkyun said, “mine can’t keep up with the programs I need for class next semester.” He was going to get one for Jooheon too; he knew the older boy needed it.

"Good," Jooheon said with a hum, "I would say take a bat to your old one, but it might be smarter to keep it as a backup in case something happens." He was glad he had a little more time before Changkyun left because he was incredibly comfortable.

“I’ll be home for dinner,” Changkyun said, “but he said he’d be here in half an hour.”

"Ten more minutes," Jooheon begged. He was going to milk the rest of the time he had for all it was worth.

“Fine,” Changkyun agreed, much too easily. He set his phone down and wrapped his arms tightly around Jooheon.

Jooheon sighed happily and snuggled closer. “You are such a pushover,” he teased.

“Only for you,” Changkyun said, whining a little. He was really so whipped for Jooheon.

Jooheon chuckled. He tilted his head and pushed himself up so he could gently kiss Changkyun on the cheek.

"You cute shit," Changkyun mumbled. He slid his hand into Jooheon's hair, tilting his head up to kiss him for real.

Jooheon leaned down to kiss Changkyun, but stopped when the doorbell rang. He sighed sadly and pulled away slowly, letting his lips ghost against the younger’s. “I think that’s for you,” he murmured.

Changkyun groaned and dropped his head back. "Minhyuk," he grumbled. He rolled out from under the older man and got up to get dressed.

Jooheon laid back down in bed, humming as he reveled in the warm spot Changkyun had left behind. “Have fun and don’t miss me too much,” he said.

"Not possible!" Changkyun called over his shoulder as he headed toward the door. He would always miss Jooheon; it would never be too much.

Jooheon chuckled and wrapped his arms around a pillow. He could nap for the few hours Changkyun was gone and then be up with him when he got home. It was a win-win.

Hyunwoo hummed to himself as he walked up to Jooheon and Changkyun's apartment. It had been a little over a week since he had talked to them and he wanted to see how they were settling in and if they needed anything else - like insurance. He knocked on the door and waited.

Jooheon jumped awake when there was a knock on the door. He glanced at the clock. It was too soon for Changkyun to be back, but too long for him to have forgotten something. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he rolled out of bed and trudged to the door. He pulled it open and was suddenly wide awake when he saw Hyunwoo standing behind it.

Hyunwoo smiled when Jooheon opened the door. The boy looked like he had just rolled out of bed. "Hey," he said quietly, "can I come in?"

“Y-Yeah, of course,” Jooheon said nervously, stepping to the side. He ran his fingers through his hair, desperately trying to comb it down. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.” They had managed to keep the apartment relatively organized, but Jooheon himself was a little disheveled.

"No, it's okay, I should have texted," Hyunwoo said apologetically, "how are you feeling?"

“I’m feeling much better, thank you,” Jooheon replied. He didn’t know what it was about Hyunwoo, but he was always so awkward around the older man.

“That’s great,” Hyunwoo said with a smile, “I just wanted to stop in and see how you guys are settling in. Is Changkyun not around?”

"Oh no, he's out shopping with Minhyuk," Jooheon said. He was interrupted by a coughing fit and quickly moved to the kitchen to get himself some water. "The apartment is amazing," he continued after taking a few sips, "thank you so much again."

“You  _ sure _ you’re okay?” Hyunwoo asked, following Jooheon into the kitchen, “Do you need your medicine?”

"Yes, I'm fine," Jooheon said flatly. He sighed sadly and took another sip of water. "I'll take another dose later tonight," he continued, fixing his tone.

“Actually, I want to talk to you about all this medical stuff,” Hyunwoo said, sitting at the breakfast bar, “I was going through the paperwork from the hospital and I noticed that you guys still don’t have health insurance.”

Jooheon stiffened and simply turned around to face Hyunwoo. He gripped the glass in his hands for security. "We're waiting to get out in the field and find jobs that offer it," he explained.

“Right, but that’s at least a year and a half away for you, and longer for Changkyun,” Hyunwoo said, “that’s a lot of time for something else to happen.”

Jooheon turned his head down at the thought of something else happening. "I'm going to take better care of myself and I always have my eyes on Changkyun," he said quietly.

“You can’t prevent everything, Jooheon,” Hyunwoo said gently, “you’re not superman. And really, it would give me peace of mind if you guys got insurance. It doesn’t even have to cover a lot, as long as you can get physicals and stuff.”

Jooheon wrinkled his nose. "Give  _ you _ peace of mind?" he asked incredulously, "I'm really sorry you're so worried about us, but we've been relatively okay up until this point and I think we can last a couple more years." He didn't mean to be rude, but he needed Hyunwoo to understand that he didn't have to worry.

Hyunwoo sighed and looked up at Jooheon. “Why does it bother you so much that I care about you and Changkyun?” he asked, “you’re good kids and I don’t want to see anything happen to either of you.”

"Because it's not your job to care about us. I know we came to you because we were in a tight spot, but the original deal was you just covering rent, utilities, and any basics we needed. I appreciate you looking out for us, but it's really unnecessary and a waste of your time," Jooheon replied. Hyunwoo really couldn't care that much about them and Jooheon couldn't put his finger on why he was so persistent. 

“Health insurance is a basic necessity,” Hyunwoo said patiently, “even if I didn’t care, which I very much do, I can’t justify letting you continue to go without that protection. I don’t like to pull the I’m-funding-you card, but even with my expendable income, one serious medical emergency could be enough to gut even what I have and I don’t want to watch that burden slam you to the ground when the day comes that I do stop funding you. This is not negotiable. I’ll let you two pick the plan, but I’m not going to let you go without it any longer.”

Jooheon was seething. Who was Hyunwoo to demand what they do? "I never agreed to health insurance and I find no need to. I can take responsibility for medical bills and I understand the risk associated with it. If you care so much about us you'd respect our decisions," he said, voice teetering. He didn't like speaking for Changkyun, especially about this, but he was too angry to worry about that at the moment.

“Literally what is the downside you’re seeing to going on an insurance plan?” Hyunwoo asked, a little frustrated. He really didn’t understand why Jooheon was being so obtuse and resistant.

Jooheon set his glass down so he didn't risk dropping it. "I'm not going to be dependent on you for every little thing in my life. If I was so worried about health insurance, I'd get another job and pay for it on my own. Contrary to popular belief I can take care of myself," he snapped. A small piece of him worried that Hyunwoo would give up and walk out on him, but that's what he had expected to happen from the beginning so it wouldn't come as a surprise.

“I am not expecting you to be dependent on me,” Hyunwoo said, “and I know that you can take care of yourself. You did it for, what, three years before I came into the picture? I have no problem with you wanting to support yourself and I’ll gladly pass the mantle to you when you’re financially able to support it on your own. But what you’re doing right now is refusing to keep yourself and Changkyun safe just because your pride is getting in the way, and that’s a problem.”

"It's not my pride," Jooheon growled, "it's the fact that I'm an adult and I can make decisions for myself about what I do and do not need. I barely know you and I'm not about to let you waltz into my life and pretend to care so you can do the good deed your friends set you up for." Maybe if Hyunwoo got frustrated enough with him, he would drop the act and leave him and Changkyun in peace.

“Pride and ego, then,” Hyunwoo said decisively, “I know you’ve been the caregiver for a while, but you’re a kid, Jooheon. It’s okay to let someone else take the reins a bit, especially when that someone is trying to help you.”

"I'm not a kid and I'm not going to let you treat me like one," Jooheon spat, ignoring the digs, "I'm not going to give up the reins of my own life to someone who's just going to throw them away. When are you going to understand that and respect the decisions I've made?" He was shaking and he gripped the counter behind him so tightly his knuckles had turned white.

“Who says I’m throwing them away?” Hyunwoo argued, “why can’t I just hold onto them for a little bit until you’re ready to take them back?”

"No," Jooheon said quickly, "I'm not giving you anymore control over my life than you already have. I can't speak for Changkyun, but for me it's not happening. I'm sorry you feel obligated, but you claiming to care isn't enough to make me fall for this." He knew this was a bad idea from the beginning and it was looking like he was right. The arrangement was supposed to be so simple yet it had somehow devolved into this mess.

“I’m not claiming anything,” Hyunwoo said, “I genuinely do care about the two of you and I’m trying to do what’s best for you. Why is that so fucking difficult for you?”

Jooheon took a step back. He wasn't necessarily afraid of Hyunwoo, but he was certainly wary now. "Because I don't trust you," he admitted sharply, "You don't know us so I have no idea how you can claim to care about us. You really and truly don't know what's best for us. And I refuse to believe you won't drop us on a dime when you get bored." There. All of his insecurities were left on the table. Jooheon hated being this vulnerable and he almost hoped Hyunwoo would storm out and forget about them.

Hyunwoo sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know what else I can say to you to convince you that I care, Jooheon,” he said quietly, “I don’t plan on ending this arrangement any time soon unless you two choose to end it from your side.”

Jooheon would have loved to end the whole thing, but he had Changkyun to worry about and he couldn't let the younger boy go back to how they were living a few months ago. "You're not going to convince me. So, why don't we just keep the arrangement as it is right now and we'll contact each other when one of us decides to end it or you need a favor," he suggested.

Hyunwoo sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry for whatever happened that shattered your ability to trust people," he said, "I know it's hard to find the right person but I hope you'll be able to trust me soon."

Jooheon pushed himself up from the counter and grabbed his glass. He rushed over to the sink so he could have an excuse to have his back towards Hyunwoo. "You have no idea," he mumbled to himself. Why didn't Hyunwoo understand that he was a lost cause? It would be so much easier if the older man just let it go.

"I might," Hyunwoo said simply, "I was in your position for a long time before I finally managed to get a leg up."

Jooheon sighed before turning around. "You had your parents give up on you at fifteen? You had your whole family turn their backs on you because of lies they were fed? You had to struggle through high school, juggling multiple jobs and hopping from home to home? You were promised over and over that you would be taken care of, each time lasting a little bit less until you could finally be on your own? You've only had one person other than yourself for your entire life that you could trust to be there? Look I'm sorry your life was hard, but don't pretend to understand something when you don't know the full picture," he rambled. He bit his lip when he was done and turned his head down. There was no way to hide the tears that had gathered in his eyes. The only person who knew his whole story was Changkyun, until now.

"You judge me the same way, you know," Hyunwoo said, watching Jooheon carefully, "without knowing the full story. Most of it is easily Googleable, I suppose, but not all of it. You may know that my parents were killed in an accident when I was sixteen, but Google won't tell you that we were not rich and that I had to work nearly twelve hours a day every day for the next two years to pay off their debts, because loan sharks do not forgive upon death, and if it weren't for Hoseok and his family, who were just as poor, I would likely not be here or anywhere. Google will tell you that I attended your university for business, but it will not tell you that I got in by the skin of my teeth and balanced work with school to try and pay for everything myself. You can find that I graduated ten years ago, but not that I should have graduated two years earlier. I am not _pretending_ to know your situation, Jooheon, I have _lived_ your situation. I wish you would afford me a little courtesy when judging my intentions."

Jooheon stared at Hyunwoo for a few minutes. He felt guilty, incredibly guilty, but that didn't change the fact that he was angry. "If you understand my situation then why are you so insistent that I trust you? If you know what it's like to have nothing why can't you just accept that all we want is the bare minimum?" he asked desperately. It made more sense why Hyunwoo was so intent on helping them, but that didn't change the fact that he was being stubborn.

"Because I recognize that I have been lucky. I had people who were able to support me, especially once Kihyun came into the picture, and I recognize that you and Changkyun don't have that. I know the humiliation of having to ask for basic things and so I would rather offer it than make you ask." It was a very simplistic explanation, but he knew that anything complicated would just make Jooheon think he was bluffing.

Jooheon took a shaky breath. He wasn't ready to trust Hyunwoo, and he would never be, but he hated that a small part of him wanted to. "I'll talk to Changkyun about health insurance," he finally relented. There was no point in arguing further when it would just lead them in a circle. He should have just agreed from the start and gotten Hyunwoo out of his hair.

Hyunwoo knew that was as good as he was going to get, so he didn't push the issue. Jooheon being tentatively open to the idea was better than stubbornly against it.

"Was there anything else you needed?" Jooheon asked. He was absolutely exhausted and was still shaking. He just wanted to go lay in bed and forget this conversation ever happened.

"Is there anything that you do need? That you actually want to ask for?" Hyunwoo asked. He was a little tired after this whole debate and ready to get out of Jooheon's hair.

"No," Jooheon answered immediately. He held himself back from making a comment, knowing it would just spark another argument and he was done dealing with Hyunwoo.

"I should head out then," Hyunwoo said, "let me know what you decide about the insurance and if you think of anything else, alright?"

Jooheon nodded. He walked Hyunwoo to the door, bid him a quiet goodbye, and locked up behind him. He started walking to the bedroom, but he didn't get very far before he collapsed to the floor. Sobs racked his body and he immediately buried his face in his hands. If he was feeling better, he wouldn't have let Hyunwoo walk all over him like this. He just wished the older man could get it through his thick head that Jooheon wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

Changkyun returned a few hours later with two boxes and a couple bags in tow. “Heonie, I’m home!” he called. When he didn’t hear a response, he assumed Jooheon was asleep and headed for the bedroom.

Jooheon had somehow managed to drag himself off the floor and back into bed. He didn’t bother showering or even changing. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep so he stared blankly at the wall until he heard Changkyun come home. Sucking in a breath, he forced his eyes closed and hoped his roommate would leave him alone.

Changkyun dropped the bags near the bedroom door and set the two boxes on the desk before taking a running start and leaping on the bed. "Heonie," he whined, "wake up."

Jooheon groaned loudly when Changkyun leapt onto the bed. "Come on, Kyunie, I'm trying to sleep," he grumbled. He tried to keep his voice even so his roommate wouldn't know how upset he still was.

"Are you not feeling good again?" Changkyun asked, sitting up and pushing Jooheon's hair out of his face. He noticed how red the older boy's eyes were. "Have you been crying?"

“I’m fine. I just want to sleep. Please,” Jooheon begged quietly. He rolled away from Changkyun and buried his face in a pillow.

Changkyun pulled back, affronted. “Fine,” he grumbled, getting up and leaving the room.

Jooheon sighed sadly and pulled the pillow closer. Usually Changkyun would cuddle with him when he wasn't feeling well, but that wasn't going to happen today. He closed his eyes as another tear slid down his cheek. 

What the hell had gotten into Jooheon in the last couple hours? He hadn’t been that snappy with Changkyun since their argument. The younger boy flopped on his own bed with a huff.

Jooheon chewed on his cheek harshly so he wouldn't make a noise. When the taste of blood filled his mouth, he stopped, resorting to taking short, shaky breaths instead. He was fucking everything up again and he didn't know what to do.

Changkyun laid in his best, staring at the ceiling until he managed to doze off. He didn’t understand what he had done wrong.

Jooheon didn't leave his bed for the rest of the day, not even to get something to eat. He had no idea what time it was when he finally exhausted himself enough to fall asleep but it was well into the night.

Changkyun woke up the next morning feeling no less miserable. Had he been wrong about everything? Did Jooheon really hate him?

Jooheon barely got any sleep and eventually couldn't take laying in bed any longer so he forced himself to get up. His stomach was turning and it was hard to breathe but he forced himself to drink a glass of water before curling under a blanket on the couch.

By the time Changkyun got out of bed, it was nearly noon. He trudged to the kitchen and grabbed a pop tart, completely ignoring Jooheon on the couch.

Jooheon untucked his head when he heard footsteps, but quickly disappeared back under the covers when he saw how upset Changkyun looked. He chewed on the inside of his cheek again, wincing when he bit into the sore spot. He knew trying to talk to his roommate would just make it worse so he did his best to stay as quiet as possible.

Changkyun spared Jooheon a single tired glance before retreating to his room. What was the point in trying anymore?

Jooheon didn't think he could handle Changkyun being mad at him any longer so he stood up from the couch and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. He walked over to his roommate's door and knocked softly. "Kyunie, can I come in?" he asked quietly. His throat was scratchy which made his voice sound more strained than he meant it to.

"Whatever," Changkyun mumbled. He was laying in bed, playing a game on his phone.

Jooheon took a shaky breath and pushed the door open. He didn't plan on staying long so he only took one step into the room. "I'm sorry if I made you upset. I still don't feel that great so I'm gonna go lay down again. If you need me, you know where to find me," he said quietly. He turned around to make his way back out of the room.

"Sure, whatever," Changkyun muttered, "just fucking abandon me for all I care."

Jooheon froze, his back still to Changkyun. "A-Abandon you?" he asked. His chest tightened; how could Changkyun think he was abandoning him? There was no way his roommate could have thought that just from their conversation yesterday.

Changkyun didn't bother to respond. If Jooheon wasn't going to want anything to do with him, then he'd return the sentiment.

Jooheon turned back around when Changkyun didn’t answer, but didn’t bother stepping into the room. “I’m not entirely sure what made you so upset and if you’re not going to tell me there’s no point in continuing this conversation. I feel like absolute shit right now, and I really don’t have the energy to play games,” he said. Changkyun had begged him to be treated like an adult and here he was, acting like a child again.

"If you're gonna push me away when I'm just trying to check on you, then fine," Changkyun said, not looking up, "have it your way."

Jooheon sighed sadly. “I told you I wanted to sleep and you pushed the issue so excuse me for getting upset. I’m sorry, but I’m going to lay down,” he said as he turned on his heel. “Why does no one respect what I ask for?” he mumbled to himself as he slunk out of the room. If Changkyun was going to throw a hissy fit, Jooheon wanted no part of it.

"Excuse me for wanting to spend time with you," Changkyun mumbled, "at least I care about you."

That did it for Jooheon. “I never said you had to leave, I just said I wanted to sleep,” he whispered desperately. He disappeared down the hallway quickly, biting back a sob. Did Changkyun really, truly think he didn’t care about him?

Changkyun rolled his eyes. That may be, but there was no reason for Jooheon to have snapped at him or pushed him away.

Jooheon climbed into bed and simply sat there, knees pulled up to his chest. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a couple boxes on his desk. They must have been from when Changkyun went shopping. He didn’t want to be nosy, but he couldn’t bring himself to take the boxes to his roommate. Instead, he laid down and closed his eyes. Maybe if Changkyun thought he was asleep he would come get them on his own.

Changkyun figured he should go and rescue his laptop from Jooheon's room and set it up, but he didn't need it for another few weeks. He would go in there when Jooheon either wasn't home or was being a little nicer.

Jooheon was surprisingly able to fall asleep again for a few hours. He wasn’t surprised that the boxes were still on his desk and since he had to go into the kitchen anyway he decided to bring them. He left the boxes on the counter so Changkyun could get them more easily, grabbed himself a quick snack, and disappeared back into his room. Since he was still exhausted from being sick, he didn’t mind spending the rest of the day in bed.

Changkyun finally rolled out of bed when he could no longer ignore his rumbling stomach. He sighed when he saw all his packages on the counter. Now that he had calmed down, he knew that he was being unreasonable, so he resolved to apologize when Jooheon came out for dinner.

Jooheon put his empty bowl to the side and rolled over. Despite his initial beliefs it wasn’t nearly enough so he went back out into the kitchen to get something else to eat. He froze when he saw his roommate there, not quite sure how he would react.

Changkyun pretended not to notice Jooheon enter the room, focusing on his phone until his roommate's back was to him. He got up and padded over to wrap himself around the older boy's back. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I was an ass."

Jooheon stiffened but quickly relaxed against Changkyun. “It’s okay, Kyunie, just don’t...please tell me you know I care about you?” he asked quietly.

Changkyun hesitated. “I know you care but...I sometimes wonder if we care the same way.”

Jooheon inhaled shakily. “Kyunie, I swear I care about you more than anything. I’ll do anything to prove it to you,” he said sincerely.

"I know, hyung, I know," Changkyun said quietly, "I know it's the same amount. I just don't know that it's the same type. We both care for each other indefinitely, but I think we care in very different ways with very different motivations."

Jooheon spun himself around so he could look Changkyun in the eyes. “What...what do you mean?” he asked slowly. He had an idea what Changkyun was getting at, but he wanted to hear the younger say it.

"I'm your best friend," Changkyun said, "I will always be your best friend. But you're...a lot more to me."

“Changkyun,” Jooheon breathed. He combed his fingers gently through his roommate’s hair. “I think you underestimate how much you mean to me.”

"I can mean the world to you without you being in love with me," Changkyun said sadly, pulling away, "just forget I said anything."

Jooheon sighed and wrapped his arms around Changkyun's waist so he couldn't go anywhere. "Who said I wasn't in love with you?" he whispered. 

"You don't act like you are," Changkyun said, trying to pull away from Jooheon again. He didn't want to have this conversation.

That stung, but Jooheon loosened his grip anyway. He wasn't very hungry anymore so he decided it would simply be best to go lay back down.

"You love me but you're not in love with me," Changkyun said sadly, "and that's fine. I just...I need some space."

Jooheon sighed. He didn't want to argue, not now. "I'll be here whenever you're ready," he said quietly. With that he padded back down the hallway.

Changkyun could feel the tears coming and he took a deep breath to keep them at bay. He knew this was coming, so he really shouldn't be so emotional. It wasn't like he meant anything less to Jooheon; he just didn't mean the same thing to Jooheon that Jooheon meant to him.

Jooheon collapsed into bed, regretting ever getting up. He felt Changkyun slipping through his fingers and he wondered how much longer it would be until he lost the one thing in his life he cared about.

Changkyun collected himself and padded back to his room. He collected his packages as he went, leaving Jooheon's laptop on the counter.


	9. Chapter 9

Jooheon spent the rest of his night in bed and at some point fell asleep. When he woke up he waited to make sure there was no noise before heading into the kitchen. On the counter there was still one of Changkyun's boxes, and Jooheon wondered why it was still left out here.

Changkyun managed to distract himself from the ache by getting to work setting up his laptop. The next morning, he braved the living room to continue his endeavor.

Jooheon froze when he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. He busied himself stirring sugar into the cup of coffee he was making. "You, uh, forgot one of your packages out here," he said quietly.

Changkyun glanced up at Jooheon. "Oh, it's, uh, it's for you," he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Jooheon put his cup of coffee down. "You got something for me?" he asked quietly, "can I...can I open it now?" He couldn't think of the last time he had been surprised with something and it was nice of Changkyun to think of him when he went shopping.

"You could've opened it two days ago when I got it," Changkyun said with a hint of a smile. 

"I...I didn't know it was for me," Jooheon said, slightly embarrassed. He walked over to the counter and popped open the box and gasped when he pulled out a new laptop.

Changkyun settled on the couch as Jooheon opened the box. He didn't want to make the older boy feel uncomfortable.

"You...you got me a new laptop?" Jooheon asked in disbelief, "thank you so much, this is amazing!" He was so excited about having a new laptop and he couldn't quite believe it was real.

"I know you've been needing one for a while," Changkyun said, "and really, Hyunwoo got it for you if you think about it."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jooheon mumbled. He set the laptop back on the counter and went to retrieve his cup of coffee.

"I got them to set it up already," Changkyun said, "it has all the really good producing software on it and everything."

"Really?" Jooheon asked as he picked up his cup. He went back to the counter and opened up the laptop to power it on. "Wow, Changkyun, this is amazing. Thank you." He opened the new producing program and immediately got distracted.

Changkyun smiled as he peeked over the top of the couch and watched Jooheon play around with the programs. He was glad that his roommate was happy. “Hey,” he said, taking advantage of Jooheon’s distractedness, “I might move out.”

Jooheon froze, fingers hovering over the keys. “Move out?” He echoed meekly, “no, Changkyun, you...you can’t-“. He quickly slammed his mouth closed. Changkyun was an adult and if he had decided to move out it would be unfair of Jooheon to stop him. “Can I...can I ask why?” he asked hesitantly. If this had anything to do with Hyunwoo, Jooheon wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it.

“I think it may be better for both of us to have some space,” Changkyun said quietly, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and I also need space to get over you.”

Jooheon's eyes widened. "Kyunie, I don't...I don't want you to get over me. You're not making me uncomfortable and I don't think it would be good for either of us to be apart. I don't want to lose you. You're the only person I've ever really cared about and it kills me to see you so upset. Please trust me when I say you mean the absolute world to me and I would do anything to prove it to you," he said sincerely.

“None of that means anything, Jooheon,” Changkyun said, “it doesn’t mean that you have feelings for me or that you want me how I want you.” Why didn’t Jooheon understand that?

Jooheon took a deep breath and closed the laptop. His mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out a way to get Changkyun to understand how much he truly liked him. He decided that he had one last option and if it didn't work he would be forced to let the only person he's ever loved go. He walked across the living room and grabbed his roommate's wrist, pulling him to stand up. Without hesitating, he cupped Changkyun's face with both hands and kissed the younger man with all of the feelings he had.

Changkyun gasped when Jooheon suddenly pulled him up and kissed him. It was lucky that he’d let his laptop fall to the couch when Jooheon came over, or else he would have dropped it on the floor. Unconsciously, his hands came up to clutch at the sides of Jooheon’s sweatshirt.

Jooheon felt the tension flood out of him when Changkyun didn't pull away. He didn't move any closer, but he let his hands fall from the younger's face. 

Changkyun used his hold on Jooheon's sweatshirt to pull the older boy closer and deepen the kiss. This might be his only chance if Jooheon suddenly came to his senses, so he wanted to make the most of it.

Jooheon happily let himself be pulled closer to Changkyun. He let one of his free hands come up and thread itself through the younger's hair. He let Changkyun control the kiss and tilted his head ever so slightly. Even though they would have to catch their breaths eventually, Jooheon wasn't quite ready to pull away yet.

Changkyun's chest was heaving when he pulled away. "Where the hell did that come from?" he asked, bewildered.

Jooheon quickly dropped his eyes to the floor. "I've wanted to do that for so long, but I was always worried about scaring you away," he admitted quietly, "I wasn't lying when I say I care a lot about you.”

It was almost weird to have finally crossed this line. They had been dancing around this level of affection for so long and Changkyun finally felt like he could breathe again.

Jooheon buried his head in Changkyun's neck and held the younger boy close. "Please don't leave, Kyunie, I really don't want to lose you," he begged.

Changkyun found himself wrapping his arms around Jooheon's waist and holding the older boy tightly. He didn't want to lose Jooheon either, but... "I don't want to dance around this anymore," he said quietly, "either we're something or we're not."

Jooheon untucked his head so he could look Changkyun in the eyes. "Let's be something," he decided after a moment, "I want to be able to officially call you mine."

At that, Changkyun smiled brightly. He had wanted this for so long that it was a little unreal to finally attain it. Loosening his hold on Jooheon, he threaded their fingers together.

Jooheon heaved a sigh of relief when he saw Changkyun's wide smile. He gripped onto the younger man's hand like his life depended on it. For the first time in a very very long time, Jooheon felt completely happy. He wasn't going to lose Changkyun, and their lives were finally turning around for the better. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked hesitantly. They had been avoiding each other so much and Jooheon really missed the younger man.

“Of course,” Changkyun said, “does this mean I get to call you baby now? Because you’re a baby and you need to know.”

Jooheon pouted. "As long as you don't abuse it," he conceded grumpily, "you know you're really freaking lucky you're cute."

“Between the two of us, I’m definitely not the cute one,” Changkyun said, “but believe what you like.”

Jooheon whined loudly and buried his face in Changkyun's neck again. "I'm making a rule that you're not allowed to be a sap," he declared, voice muffled.

"Too late," Changkyun said, "now c'mon, I wanna take a nap." He turned to make sure his laptop was closed then tugged Jooheon toward the older boy's room.

Jooheon huffed, and let himself get pulled down the hallway. He was exhausted and a nap sounded amazing. He collapsed into bed the moment they got into the room and opened his arms for Changkyun.

Changkyun all but flopped on top of Jooheon. The older boy had just enough chub to his cheeks - and everywhere else - now that he made a fantastic pillow. "Hey," he said after a minute, "what made you so upset the other night?"

Jooheon groaned quietly when Changkyun laid on top of him, but didn't move him off. Instead he wrapped his arms around the younger and held him close. He stiffened at Changkyun's question and debated how to answer it. "I wasn't feeling well and Hyunwoo stopped by," he answered carefully.

"Oh, what did he say?" Changkyun asked, glancing up at Jooheon. He hoped they hadn't argued.

"He wants us to get health insurance," Jooheon replied truthfully, "you should probably talk to him about what plan would work for us." He didn't want to lie to Changkyun, but he didn't feel like it was important to mention the rest of their conversation.

"That's a decision we should all make together, no?" Changkyun said, "I know you and I know him and I know he's going to pick a plan that does more than you want it to if you leave it up to either of us."

"That's exactly why I don't want to be involved. He's not going to do what I want so it's better if you two just figure out what's best and I'll get used to it," Jooheon said. He was scared if they stayed on this topic too long Changkyun would figure out why he was actually so upset.

"Heonie, you get to have a say too," Changkyun said, "none of us should be subjected to some piece of this that we don't want."

"It's okay," Jooheon assured, "you know how I feel about this whole thing anyway so the less I deal with Hyunwoo the better. If it makes you feel better we can look at some plans together when we wake up and go from there."

"I don't want you two to constantly be butting heads though," Changkyun said sadly, "he's not a bad guy, Jooheon."

Jooheon sighed and let his eyes fall closed. "I know, I know. I just..." he trailed off. He couldn't admit he didn't trust Hyunwoo, but there wasn't really much else to it.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, but you should really give the guy the benefit of the doubt," Changkyun said, "he may not know what this position is like, but he's trying his best."

Jooheon knew Changkyun would be able to feel him tense up so he tried to force himself to relax as quickly as possible. He knew there was no way he could get out of this now so he took the plunge. "He does know," he whispered, "he understands what it's like to have nothing which is why he's so insistent on helping us." It didn't feel any better to have said it, but at least Changkyun knew more of the truth.

Changkyun took that information in stride. "That's just even more reason to give him the benefit of the doubt," he said simply, "if he got himself out of this sort of hole, then he knows what will help us too."

"He went to business school," Jooheon pointed out, "he can know what's going to help us all he wants, but it's dependent on where we end up in our fields. I know he means well, but I don't think this whole thing is ever going to sit well with me."

“Even our fields are fairly predictable,” Changkyun said, “he can at least predict with some accuracy where and when we’ll be able to enter our fields and where he needs to land us for us to be stable when we stop getting help from him.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. "Hopefully it all goes according to plan," he mumbled tiredly. He tightened his arms and pulled Changkyun a little bit closer.

“You have your internship next semester and you know internships in your field almost always lead to a job,” Changkyun said. He was starting to get sleepy.

Jooheon hummed in agreement. He cracked his eyes open and smiled softly as he noticed how tired Changkyun looked. "I think it’s nap time," he murmured.

Changkyun hummed. It absolutely was nap time. “G’night, Heonie,” he mumbled.

"Sleep well, babe," Jooheon murmured. He closed his eyes again and for the first time in days, fell asleep quickly.

Changkyun settled on Jooheon’s chest, laying so he could hear his boyfriend’s heartbeat and his steady breathing. Boyfriend - that word made him giddy.

When Jooheon woke up again, Changkyun was still wrapped securely in his arms. He had missed waking up next to the younger boy. With a soft sigh, he let one of his free hands slowly comb itself through Changkyun’s soft hair.

Changkyun woke up to Jooheon’s hand in his hair. It felt so soothing and he really could have fallen back asleep. He knew he shouldn’t though, so he groaned and stretched.

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Jooheon whispered as Changkyun woke up. He let his hand slide from the younger’s hair to rest on his back instead.

Changkyun whined. “Don’t stop,” he mumbled, “it felt good.”

Jooheon chuckled quietly and brought his hand back up to run it through Changkyun’s hair again. “Anything else, your majesty?” he asked teasingly.

“Nope,” Changkyun said with a small smile, “ just don’t go anywhere. You’re comfy.”

“I couldn’t exactly go anywhere if I wanted to,” Jooheon commented. Changkyun was keeping him effectively trapped to the bed.

“Good,” Changkyun mumbled, “you shouldn’t.” He was trying to make up for all the time he had lost.

Jooheon chuckled quietly. “And what do I get out of this other than crushed?” he teased. He didn’t need anything more than Changkyun, but he wondered what the younger boy would say.

"My love and affection," Changkyun mumbled, "nearly free of charge."

“Nearly?” Jooheon asked with a chuckle. He scratched his nails gently against Changkyun’s scalp for a moment before going back to simply combing through the soft locks.

"Well yeah," Changkyun replied, "all you gotta give me is the same thing back." He wasn't a very demanding boyfriend at all, in his opinion.

Jooheon brushed Changkyun’s hair out of his face so he could kiss his forehead. “I think I can handle that,” he whispered.

“I’d be sad and a little concerned if you couldn’t,” Changkyun commented. He turned his head to press a kiss to the spot where his head was nestled, which happened to be Jooheon’s collarbone.

Jooheon sighed quietly. “I’m going to give you all the love and affection you deserve,” he promised. He leaned his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes again. His fingers still combing through Changkyun’s hair was the only thing still keeping him awake.

“That isn’t very much,” Changkyun mumbled. He wasn’t that great that he deserved everything.

Jooheon frowned and picked his head up. “Hey, look at me,” he tilted Changkyun’s chin up, “you deserve this whole world and more and I’m not going to let you think otherwise.” 

"You can say that but you know I won't believe you," Changkyun said. He pulled his face away from Jooheon's hand and rested his head on his boyfriend's chest again.

Jooheon sighed sadly. "We'll get there," he murmured. He let his mind wander while his fingers continued to absently run through Changkyun's hair. He was enjoying this simple. quiet moment that they had.

Changkyun merely hummed, not wanting to continue that conversation. "When are you gonna take me out on a date?" he asked instead.

Jooheon smiled at that. "What happened to me being the baby, huh?" he teased before turning serious. "I'll take you on a date whenever you want. We can even do something tomorrow. Dinner and a movie?" The only bad thing was they would have to find something inside because of the cold weather.

"You are the baby," Changkyun said, "but you have a lot of time to make up for, mister." He was going to milk Jooheon's hesitation as long as he could.

"Fine, fine," Jooheon grumbled, pretending to be annoyed. "So what do you say about tomorrow? Is it a date?"

"Sounds like a date to me," Changkyun said, "as long as it's warm, I don't care what we do."

Jooheon beamed happily and leaned down to kiss the top of Changkyun's head. "It'll be perfect," he said. As much as he wanted to spend the rest of the day in bed, he knew they should probably get up and be some sort of productive.

Changkyun was on the verge of falling asleep yet again. He seemed to be doing nothing but sleeping lately.

Jooheon watched Changkyun drift back off to sleep with a smile on his face. He slept better later that night than he had in a long time, with his boyfriend wrapped securely in his arms. The next day he could barely contain his excitement for their first date and they treated themselves to a nice dinner and a movie. Although Jooheon barely remembered what the movie was about because he spent most of his time watching Changkyun instead. By the time they got home they were both exhausted, but so incredibly happy. 

When they got home, Changkyun went straight into his room to change into comfy clothes and lay down. It had been a long day and, while he had definitely enjoyed himself, he was incredibly exhausted. Just putting in the effort to leave the house was exhausting.

Jooheon got changed and went to find Changkyun. Usually they stayed together in his room, but he didn't mind the change of scene. He crawled into the bed and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend. "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked quietly.

“Of course,” Changkyun said, “I’m just tired, baby, I’m sorry.”

Jooheon frowned and reached a hand up to lay across Changkyun's forehead. The younger boy didn't feel hot so Jooheon knew he wasn't getting sick. "Kyunie, are you feeling okay?" he asked, pulling his hand away. Changkyun had been acting off all day and Jooheon was starting to get worried.

“Yeah, Heonie, I just told you, I’m tired,” Changkyun grumbled. He rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face in a pillow.

Jooheon sighed sadly. "I know you too well for that to work, Changkyun," he said gently, "you can tell me what's wrong. I won't be mad and I might even be able to help you."

Changkyun turned his face so he could speak clearly. “I really am just tired,” he said quietly, “I’m never not tired really.”

"Oh, Kyunie," Jooheon murmured sadly. He knew during the semester when Changkyun was working three jobs and had his classes that he was constantly exhausted and sleep deprived, but now that he was able to relax fully he shouldn't be this tired. Jooheon ran through every reason Changkyun could be this exhausted until everything finally clicked into place. He was ashamed and angry at himself for not realizing it sooner. "You haven’t talked to your doctor about getting back on your meds.” It wasn’t a question.

Changkyun felt himself stiffen at Jooheon's statement. He had not, in fact, seen a doctor to get back on his antidepressants. Without insurance, it was simply too expensive, even with their stipend from Hyunwoo. Having been off them for so long, Changkyun felt like he may not even need them any longer, and even if he did, he would likely have to go through a few different formulas before they found one that worked. It was too much money and too much emotional hassle.

Jooheon sighed sadly when Changkyun didn't say anything. "Kyunie, I think it might be a good idea if you went to see someone," he said gently. He knew he couldn't demand Changkyun go to a doctor, but this wasn't something he was going to let go easily.

“I don’t need them, I’m fine,” Changkyun mumbled, “they’re too expensive anyway. That’s why I stopped them in the first place, remember?”

Changkyun was obviously not fine, but Jooheon wasn't going to point that out. "But we have Hyunwoo now. He's here to help us and I know he'd want you to see someone," he said.

“It’s still too expensive, especially since the old formula probably won’t work anymore and I’ll have to keep changing,” Changkyun said, “I’m more balanced now than I will be going through that.”

"Kyunie, you're exhausted all the time. That's not really being balanced," Jooheon said carefully, "I know the trial and error you'd have to go through won't seem worth it but once you find something that works it will."

“Without insurance, the appointments and medications are just too expensive, Heonie,” Changkyun said, “can you please just drop it? I’m fine. It’s not like I’m hurting myself again; I’m just tired.”

Jooheon sighed again and kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to make Changkyun any more upset so he dropped it for now. It looked like they didn't have any choice but to get insurance and he knew Changkyun wouldn't go for it if it was just to get him back on his medication. That meant that Jooheon was going to have to talk to Hyunwoo alone. He was not looking forward to that in the slightest, but it was for Changkyun and he would do absolutely anything for the younger boy.

“Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna come cuddle me?” Changkyun asked after a few moments, cracking his eyes open briefly. Jooheon wasn’t nearly close enough for comfort.

"You're so lucky you're cute," Jooheon mumbled as he shifted himself over to wrap his arms around Changkyun. If he had a penny for everytime he had said that, they wouldn't need to rely on Hyunwoo anymore.

  
  


Hyunwoo was surprised when, come Monday morning, Jooheon texted him asking to meet. After their last encounter, he was sure the younger man would want nothing to do with him. Regardless, he told Jooheon that he could show up at his office whenever he wanted.

Jooheon didn't like the idea of going to Hyunwoo's office, but he wasn't going to like the idea no matter where they were meeting. That meant he would have to be on his best behavior, but so would Hyunwoo so hopefully this meeting would go much smoother than last time. He regretfully dragged himself to Hyunwoo's office that afternoon and paced outside the door for a few minutes before finally knocking quietly.

“Come in,” Hyunwoo called, distracted by the sheet on his computer. He had a wonky formula somewhere and it was driving him wild.

Jooheon took a deep breath and pushed the door open. "Good afternoon," he greeted as politely as he could manage. Seeing Hyunwoo in person was a lot harder than he imagined it was going to be and he hoped he would be out of here quickly. He walked over to the desk slowly, but hesitated before sitting down.

Hyunwoo glanced up and smiled. “Hey, have a seat,” he said, “I just need a minute to finish this up.” He saved the spreadsheet and closed it, cleaning up a few other tabs on the computer before putting it to sleep and turning his attention to Jooheon. “I have to say, I was surprised that you texted me.”

Jooheon was almost a little bothered that Hyunwoo seemed so unaffected, but he quickly shook the thought. He sat down slowly and threaded his hands together. "I wasn't planning on contacting you unless it was something important and well...here I am," Jooheon admitted, eyes trained downward.

“Is everything alright?” Hyunwoo asked. He swore, if it was Changkyun getting sick now, he was going to give both boys a strong talk about self-care.

"Kinda," Jooheon began, "Changkyun used to be on medication and he had to stop a while ago and I really think he needs to go back on it. But the problems are that he doesn't want to and it’s pretty expensive without insurance." He knew Changkyun wouldn't be happy that he came to talk to Hyunwoo so he tried to stay as cryptic as he could.

“Okay,” Hyunwoo said carefully, “what would you like me to do about that?” He wasn’t going to continue to push the insurance thing unless Jooheon brought it up himself.

Jooheon sighed. "I wanted to find an insurance plan that you would be willing to help us with that would get Changkyun what he needs," he said. He tensed up, waiting for an "I told you so," waiting to be told this could have been avoided if he wasn't stubborn, and waiting to be accused of not caring.

“Alright,” Hyunwoo said simply, turning back to his computer and pulling up the site he used for his own employees’ healthcare. “What kind of medication is it exactly?”

Jooheon paused. "Antidepressants," he answered after a moment. His eyes were still trained on his lap and his knuckles were white from how tightly he had knitted his fingers together.

Hyunwoo hummed. It was good that Jooheon had said that. “Not every plan covers mental healthcare or those kinds of medications,” he explained as he clicked through the site, “so it’s good to know beforehand to root out the plans that won’t work.”

Jooheon nooded. At this point he wasn't worried about what plan they went with; he just wanted to get out of there quickly. And at the rate they were going, he was going to get his wish.

Hyunwoo finally narrowed it down to four options and turned the monitor toward Jooheon. “They’re not bare necessities plans, they never will be when you include mental health care,” he said, “expense doesn’t always translate into quality or coverage, so just ignore the price tags.”

Jooheon nearly snorted when Hyunwoo told him to ignore the prices, but he kept his composure. He finally looked up and read over the plans in front of him, but it meant absolutely nothing to him. They all sounded the same and he was inclined to simply pick the cheapest one. "I...I don't really know which one is best," he admitted slowly. He didn't want Hyunwoo to think he was an idiot, but that wasn't the worst opinion the older man had on him.

Hyunwoo turned the screen slightly back in his direction so that he could read the screen. “They all have the basics, so an annual physical, bi-annual dental cleanings, obviously the mental health care and prescription coverage, and emergency coverage. The top two have vision, the bottom ones don’t. Of those two, they both cover annual exams, but one covers both glasses and contact lenses, while the other will only cover one or the other. The bottom two are basically just the same plan from different companies.”

"We don't need a plan with vision," Jooheon said. It hadn't slipped his notice that those plans were a little more expensive and he had been managing just fine with the pair of glasses he had.

“Alright,” Hyunwoo said easily, removing those two options from the screen.

Jooheon sighed quietly when Hyunwoo didn't pry further. He looked between the last two plans for a few moments before finally picking one. He had no idea if it was better or not, but as long as it got Changkyun his medicine he wasn't worried. "I think this one is fine," he said pointing at the screen. He forced himself to keep from squirming, not that they had accomplished what he came here for he was anxious to get home.

“Wait, hold on, there’s some fine print,” Hyunwoo said, squinting and moving closer to read it. “This one doesn’t cover all providers. Does Changkyun have a specific psychiatrist that he sees?”

Jooheon retracted his hand quickly. "Yeah there was someone he used to see, but he  hasn't gone in so long that I forgot their name," he mumbled. He should have been keeping better track of everything, but it was too late to be regretful now.

“Can you find that out and get back to me?” Hyunwoo asked, “I don’t want to commit you guys to a plan and then have Changkyun not be able to see someone he already trusts. He doesn’t seem like he opens up to new people easily, especially about something like that.”

"I'll do my best," Jooheon said, "but yeah, he won't want to see someone new." He knew he was going to have to go searching for the information because Changkyun would never tell him. "Thank you for your help and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." He kept his eyes trained downward as he pushed himself up from the chair.

“Does it cover everything you’ll need?” Hyunwoo asked, looking Jooheon in the eyes pointedly. The glasses he wore were obviously old, if the wear on them was any indication.

Jooheon met Hyunwoo's eyes for the first time that meeting. "As long as it'll get Changkyun his medication and give us a safety cushion in case of an emergency then it covers everything we need," he replied.

Hyunwoo sat back in his chair. “How long have you had those glasses, Jooheon-ah?” he asked.

Jooheon's mouth flattened into a line. It really was wishful thinking that he would be leaving so quickly. "I don't know," he answered truthfully, "but they work fine and I don't plan on losing them." He really didn't have the patience for this and was debating the consequences of simply walking out.

“You know why it’s recommended that you get your eyes examined every year, particularly if you wear glasses?” Hyunwoo asked. He didn’t give Jooheon space to answer before continuing. “The longer you wear corrective lenses, the more your vision degrades, and when your vision continues to degrade, your prescription changes and so you need it updated to be able to see clearly. You drive, yes? Both alone and with Changkyun?”

“Yes I drive and I can see fine as long as it’s light out,” Jooheon said flatly, “I understand the concern but I really don’t have time for a lecture so before I go, are there any other life choices of mine you’d like to nitpick?” He knew that would open himself up to a slew of things he didn’t want to hear, but he said it with a tone of challenge regardless.

“As long as it’s light out?” Hyunwoo said, “and what about when you work late? Or when you need to pick Changkyun up from a late class? How confident are you really in your driving then?”

“What do you want me to drive you around to prove I can do it? I’m not a kid, I think I can handle deciding when I’m not able to drive,” Jooheon spat. He wanted to leave, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to turn around.

“And what about when you decide that you can? What happens when you can’t see and something goes wrong and Changkyun gets hurt?” Hyunwoo asked quietly. He hated using the younger boy against Jooheon, but he couldn’t think of any other way to get him to think beyond himself. He thought so much of Changkyun, Hyunwoo knew that, but when it came to admitting where he needed help, his own pride would win out every time.

Jooheon froze. He wanted to turn, wanted to leave, wanted to run, but he was rooted to his spot. The thought of Changkyun getting hurt because of him clouded his mind and his knees buckled. He sank back into the chair and buried his head in his hands. He didn’t want to admit it, but Hyunwoo was right. He would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to Changkyun because he was too stubborn to get help. “I won’t...I can’t hurt him,” he choked out.

“I’m going to make sure you get a plan with vision coverage then,” Hyunwoo said decisively, “and I would much appreciate it if you got an exam as soon as you can. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt, Jooheon-ah.”

Jooheon registered that Hyunwoo was talking, but he didn’t hear any of the words he was saying. “I-I can’t hurt him,” he said again. His voice wavered and he was struggling to keep it together. Was his stubbornness really that dangerous to Changkyun? 

Hyunwoo felt especially guilty now. What he had said had obviously hit a sore point for Jooheon. He didn’t really know what to say to make it better. This was why he stayed away from relationships; he was simply horrible at intimate conversation.

Jooheon finally realized he was still in Hyunwoo’s office. “I-I have to go,” he said suddenly. He pushed himself up shakily and headed for the door, barely catching himself from tripping on the leg of the chair.

“Whoa, hey, careful,” Hyunwoo said, standing up in alarm, “let me know about the psychiatrist, alright?”

Jooheon rushed over to the door but froze with his hand on the handle. He wanted to leave, he  _ needed  _ to leave, but his mind was too cloudy to let him move anywhere. Instead he sunk to the floor, letting his hand slip from the door handle. Was he truly an awful person like Hyunwoo said he was? He cared about Changkyun more than anything, but had his pride nearly killed the both of them?

Hyunwoo carefully approached Jooheon and, grabbing him by the upper arms, lifted him to his feet. He guided the boy over to the sofa on the far side of his office and sat him down there instead.

Jooheon clung onto Hyunwoo, scared he would fall over if he let go. "I...I," he paused to take a shaky breath, "I'm sorry." The apology was more for Changkyun than anyone, but Jooheon didn't know what else he could say, or even do.

“No, I’m the one that needs to apologize,” Hyunwoo said firmly, “I should never have used Changkyun against you like that. That was very wrong of me.”

"You're right though," Jooheon mumbled, "I need to think about Kyunie more than myself. I'm too focused on not wanting help that I didn't realize how much I could have hurt him." He quickly clamped his mouth shut and hoped Hyunwoo didn't catch how his voice wavered towards the end of his sentence. 

“You were also right, though, last time,” Hyunwoo said, “you two are adults and I need to start trusting you to make your own decisions without my interference or input, especially you.”

Jooheon sighed shakily, but didn't say anything. He buried his head in his hands and focused on calming himself down. How the fuck had he gotten to this point? Maybe Hyunwoo really did have good intentions but that didn't mean Jooheon was going to trust him this easily.

Hyunwoo didn’t really know what to do with himself. “Just get yourself calmed down, alright?” he said. He retreated to his desk, giving Jooheon his space.

Jooheon picked his head up when Hyunwoo got up. He wasn't getting kicked out? That didn't make any sense. "I'm sorry, I should probably go," he mumbled. Slowly, he pushed himself up onto shaky legs that were threatening to give out on him again.

“No,” Hyunwoo said firmly, “stay and calm yourself down. It’s not safe to drive when you’re distraught.”

Jooheon took a hard seat back on the couch. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally composing himself enough to speak. "I don't understand. Why...why haven't you kicked me out yet? Better yet, how haven't you given up on us, on...me?" he asked slowly. He still couldn't figure out why Hyunwoo hadn't gotten rid of them and made his life that much easier.

“You both deserve better than someone who just gives up on you when it gets difficult,” Hyunwoo said simply.

Jooheon sucked in a breath. "I wish everyone felt that way," he mumbled sadly to himself, "I'm sorry I've been so resistant to you helping. It's just...no one else, not even our own families, have ever shared that sentiment so it’s kinda hard to trust someone I barely know not to suddenly walk out on us."

“That’s completely understandable,” Hyunwoo said, “I’m sorry you guys have never had someone to stick it out with you. I can’t imagine what that’s like.” Even when Hyunwoo was at his lowest, he had always had Hoseok and his family.

Jooheon nodded slowly. He had absolutely no idea how long he had been here, but Hyunwoo obviously had a lot to get done and he wasn't helping. "I'm sorry, I know you're busy. I'll be out of your hair in a few minutes," he said quickly.

“No, take your time,” Hyunwoo said, “you’re not bothering me at all.” If anything, Jooheon was saving him from the headache Excel always caused him.

Jooheon curled up into the smallest ball he could manage while keeping his shoes off the couch. He knew Changkyun would start getting worried about him soon, but he wasn't quite ready to leave yet. His mind was still a mess of thoughts from how serious he could have hurt his boyfriend to trying to help himself understand that Hyunwoo wasn't going anywhere.

Hyunwoo stayed quiet, giving Jooheon space to calm down. Instead, he focused again on that pesky spreadsheet formula.

Jooheon had no idea how long it had been, but eventually he pushed himself up to sit up. He felt a lot better and he knew he would finally be okay to get up and walk to his car.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Hyunwoo muttered when he finally managed to fix his formula, completely forgetting Jooheon was still there, “what a bitch.”

Jooheon’s eyes widened and he flinched at Hyunwoo’s sudden outburst. He didn’t think it was about him, but he wanted to be sure. “Is...is everything okay?” he asked timidly.

“Huh?” Hyunwoo said, glancing up, “oh, yeah, I’m just fighting Microsoft.” If there was one thing Hyunwoo was horrifically bad at, it was computers. Maybe he should actually hire Changkyun.

"Oh," Jooheon mumbled. He wasn't much better with computers himself, save for the few production softwares he's worked with over the years. "Do you want me to talk to Kyunie? I'm sure he wouldn't mind coming down and helping you," he offered.

“I managed to fix it, thankfully,” Hyunwoo said, “but I might take you up on that. Are you feeling better now?”

"I'll let him know just in case anything else comes up," Jooheon said, "I am, thank you. And thank you just...for everything. It really does mean a lot to the both of us."

“Of course. Anything I can do to help,” Hyunwoo said, sitting back in his chair, “actually, speaking of, I think you should talk to Hyungwonnie if you’re up for it. He does some producing and DJing on the side and he could probably get you some good hookups in the industry.”

Jooheon's eyes widened slightly. Having connections would be amazing, especially considering he would be graduating next year. "I definitely will. Thank you so much for letting me know," he said gratefully. He stood up once again and for the first time all afternoon, was stable on his feet.

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said again, “let me know about the psychiatrist thing as soon as you can, alright?”

Jooheon nodded. "I will. I should have that information for tomorrow," he took a deep breath, "I'm sorry I've been so rude about everything up until now, but I promise I won't act so childish anymore." He felt like a kid apologizing for getting in trouble at school, but it had to be said.

“You weren’t being childish, you were being defensive,” Hyunwoo said with a shrug, standing up, “as long as we can be more civil from here on out, I have no problem. C’mon, I’ll walk you to the elevator.”

"We can be," Jooheon said quickly. He followed Hyunwoo from the office and over to the elevators. It didn't seem like the office was very busy today, which made him feel a bit better about everything.

“It was nice to see you, Jooheon, really,” Hyunwoo said as the boy got into the elevator. Once the doors had closed, he turned and headed for Hoseok’s office.


	10. Chapter 10

Jooheon was happy to finally be home. He felt drained and just wanted to find Changkyun and hopefully convince his boyfriend to take a nap with him.

Changkyun hadn’t managed to get out of bed, despite it being well into the afternoon. He simply didn’t have the energy. He hoped Jooheon would come home soon and drag him to do something.

Jooheon found Changkyun lying in bed and immediately climbed in next to him. “I missed you,” he mumbled, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend and burying his face in his neck.

“I missed you too,” Changkyun said quietly, “where did you go today?”

Jooheon didn’t want to make Changkyun upset, but he also didn’t want to lie. After a moment of debate he made up his mind. “I went to meet with Hyunwoo,” he replied truthfully.

“Oh?” Changkyun said, mildly surprised, “how did that go?”

“Actually pretty well. He told me that Hyungwon does some producing and DJing on the side so I’m going to talk to him and see if he can get me in contact with some of the people he works with,” he said excitedly. He hoped they could stay away from the insurance, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up too high.

“Oh, that’s awesome, Heonie,” Changkyun said, rolling toward his boyfriend a bit. He hated how dead his voice sounded.

Jooheon picked up his head so he could look at Changkyun and felt his chest tighten. He knew Changkyun would feel so much better if he went on medication, but he didn’t know how to convince him. All he knew was that there was no way he was letting his boyfriend continue to live like this. He missed his smile and knew next semester would be too hard on him if he continued like this. “I’m getting hungry,” he said with a pout, “will you help me cook?” As much as he would rather take a nap. He knew he needed to get his boyfriend out of bed. Even if it was only for a little while.

“I’m not really hungry,” Changkyun said quietly, “why don’t we just order something? I don’t really wanna get up yet.”

“But I want to do something with you and it’s too cold to go outside,” Jooheon said. He had a funny feeling Changkyun hadn’t eaten all day.

“Then just cuddle here with me,” Changkyun whined, “we’re already comfy and I haven’t seen you all day.”

“Fine,” Jooheon grumbled, “but I want your help cooking later and I want you to try and eat something.”

“Sure, fine,” Changkyun said, already settling down to fall asleep again.

Jooheon sighed sadly and pulled Changkyun closer. He was tired enough to fall asleep, but his mind was too worried to quiet down so he was resigned to simply lay there.

“You’re not sleeping,” Changkyun whispered after a while, “why are you so tense?”

“I’m just thinking,” Jooheon mumbled, “don’t worry about me, Kyunie. Just get some rest.”

“I can’t, you’re so stiff,” Changkyun said, “what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Jooheon whispered, trying to force himself to relax, “I’m just worried about...everything.”

“Everything? Like what?” Changkyun asked. He turned his head so he could see Jooheon better.

Jooheon sighed sadly. “Like talking to Hyungwon, like next semester, like meeting with Hyunwoo again, like making sure I’m doing the best I can for you,” he rambled, “just...don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it all out soon enough.” It wasn’t fair for him to dump all of this on Changkyun, especially now.

“I’m going to worry, Heonie,” Changkyun said, “there’s literally no way I can’t. I just want to see you happy.”

"I will be happy. Once we get everything together and get fully settled I'll be happy," Jooheon said, "Hyunwoo and I, uh, we talked about insurance and he's gonna get us a plan with vision so I'll be able to get new glasses or maybe even contact lenses."

“I didn’t even know you two were talking about insurance at all,” Changkyun said, “I thought we were waiting until you got a job with benefits.”

"That's what I was originally thinking, but Hyunwoo felt more comfortable getting us on a plan now," Jooheon explained. 

“And you just went along with that?” Changkyun dubiously, “that’s not like you at all.”

"No, it, uh, took some convincing. The day you came home and I was really upset was because Hyunwoo and I had an argument about insurance," Jooheon admitted shamefully.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” Changkyun asked, pulling away from Jooheon. He thought that they were supposed to tell each other everything.

"I was going to talk to you about it, but then you got upset with me so I just dropped it completely," Jooheon said. He was scared he was going to make Changkyun upset. He slowly sat up to give his boyfriend some space.

“I asked you why you were upset and you told me to leave you alone,” Changkyun reminded Jooheon, “if it was something like that, why didn’t you just tell me?”

"I just wanted to get some sleep and spend time with you and then I was going to ask your opinion on the insurance," Jooheon clarified, "I didn't want to tell you Hyunwoo and I argued because I didn't want you to get mad at me."

“Jooheon, it’s been like three weeks,” Changkyun said, “you’ve had so many opportunities to tell me about this _huge important development_.”

"I know, I know, but I really didn't like the idea to begin with and I didn't want to make you upset with me again," Jooheon said. The more he thought about it the more he wished he told Changkyun sooner, but there was nothing he could do now.

“It’s really just because of your glasses?” Changkyun asked dubiously. He hadn’t forgotten their recent conversation and this seemed a little too convenient.

"That's part of it," Jooheon began slowly, "I was hoping that you'd be more willing to go see a doctor to talk about getting back on your medication if we had insurance." He turned his head down and waited for Changkyun's reaction.

“Jooheon,” Changkyun said, exasperated, “I already told you that I’m fine. I’m not trying to hurt myself, I don’t wanna die. All things considered, this is pretty good.”

"All of that is good, Kyunie, but you could feel better. You wouldn't be as tired and next semester will be easier," Jooheon said gently, "I know I can't force you to do anything, but will you at least think about it? Please?"

“No,” Changkyun said stubbornly, “we’ve already had this conversation and I have no reason to change my mind.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry for pushing it and I won't bring it up again," he said quietly. He wasn't really going to give up this easily, but he didn't want to make Changkyun even more upset with him now.

“I’m gonna go and shower,” Changkyun grumbled, getting out of bed. If nothing else, it was to prove he could still take care of himself.

Jooheon sighed sadly and got up from the bed as well. He went into the kitchen to make something simple for dinner. Changkyun really wouldn't be up for eating now, but he made enough for the two of them anyway. When he had a moment, he pulled open his laptop that he had left on the counter and began searching to see if he could find Changkyun's psychiatrist on his own.

Changkyun stayed in the shower until his fingers got wrinkly and his skin started to peel. When he stepped out, he took a long look at himself in the mirror. He had obviously lost weight and the bags under his eyes were probably heavier than the rest of him combined. He sighed. Maybe Jooheon was right.

Jooheon was having absolutely no luck. With a huff he closed out the tabs and slammed his laptop close. He turned back to the stove to finish up dinner.

Changkyun poked and prodded at his face. When had his cheeks sunk in so much? When had his skin gotten this gray? He really needed to go outside more. He felt himself sliding down to take a hard seat on the floor. What if Jooheon was right? What if he wasn’t doing okay?

Jooheon heard a loud noise come from the bathroom and immediately turned off the stove. He raced down the hallway and threw the door to the bathroom open. "Oh my God, Kyunie, what happened?" he asked nervously as he ran over to his roommate.

Changkyun was pulled out of his thoughts by Jooheon suddenly barging into the bathroom. He yelped and quickly made sure his towel was covering him. “What the hell, Jooheon?” He asked.

"I heard a bang and I want to make sure you were okay," Jooheon said as he crouched down next to Changkyun. "What happened? Did you fall? Are you hurt?" His eyes darted around Changkyun's pale face, fearing the worst.

“I’m fine, Heonie,” Changkyun said, “I just sat down too hard. My ass hurts though, if you wanna kiss it better.” He added a smirk for good measure.

Jooheon sighed in relief, glad Changkyun was okay. "Be careful what you wish for," he teased back. 

Changkyun hummed and stood up. “Go away, I’m naked,” he said, shooing Jooheon off.

Jooheon rolled his eyes and stood up as well. "What all the sudden I'm not allowed to see you naked?" he quipped. He walked towards the door anyway, knowing he had to finish dinner.

“Nope!” Changkyun called after him, popping the P. Internally, though, it was true. He wasn’t really sure that he wanted Jooheon to see his body like this.

Jooheon chuckled and pulled the door open. “You know where to find me if you change your mind,” he said. With that he disappeared back down the hallway.

Changkyun hurried back to his room and put on the heaviest, baggiest clothes he could find. When he finally made his way to the kitchen, Jooheon was back at the stove.

Jooheon turned around when he heard footsteps. “You look cozy,” he commented when he saw the clothes Changkyun was wearing.

Changkyun hummed. “‘M comfy,” he said, wrapping himself around Jooheon’s middle.

“Good,” Jooheon said. He hummed contently when Changkyun wrapped around him. “Do you want to try eating something?”

“I dunno,” Changkyun mumbled, “are you an option?” He still had to get Jooheon back for that hickey.

Jooheon chuckled. “I can be,” he said nonchalantly as he could manage. He wondered what Changkyun had up his sleeve.

Right as Jooheon said it, Changkyun's stomach growled and he bit his lip. “Maybe the dessert menu then?”

“I like that idea better,” Jooheon said. He grabbed two bowls from the cabinet above him and filled them both to the top with pasta. “Alright you gotta let go so we can eat.”

“Do I?” Changkyun said. He pulled Jooheon over to the couch by his shirt, pushed the older man to sit down, and easily sat on top of him.

“Changkyun,” Jooheon said warningly, “how exactly and I supposed to eat with you sitting on top of me?”

“I’ll feed you,” Changkyun said simply. He set one of the bowls on his legs and held the other one. He held a forkful of pasta out to Jooheon.

"Oh my God, Changkyun," Jooheon muttered. He took the bite of pasta anyway and stared up at his boyfriend as he chewed. As long as Changkyun ate something too he wasn't going to complain.

Changkyun fed himself while Jooheon was chewing and continued to alternate forkfuls. In no time at all, they had gotten through both bowls and he was leaning contently into Jooheon’s shoulder

Jooheon wrapped his arms around Changkyun when they were done. "Do you want to watch a movie?" he asked quietly. He didn't want Changkyun to head back to bed just yet.

“Mm, depends on the movie,” Changkyun said. He didn’t really want to let Jooheon up at all.

"We can watch whatever you want," Jooheon offered. It didn't seem like Changkyun planned on moving anytime soon so this idea might not work out.

“It doesn’t matter what we watch; all I’m gonna wanna do is make out with you,” Changkyun admitted.

Jooheon chuckled. "Well what's stopping you then?" he asked playfully.

“You’re under me, which is wrong,” Changkyun said matter-of-factly, “and this couch isn’t very comfortable.”

Jooheon shook his head. "Up you get so we can go lay in bed then," he said, patting Changkyun on the back gently.

Changkyun got up, dragging Jooheon with him toward the elder’s bedroom. Jooheon had the bigger and more comfortable bed and Changkyun preferred it in every situation.

Jooheon let himself get dragged through the apartment and into their room. When they got over to the bed he pushed Changkyun to lay down and immediately climbed in after him. "So what's this I hear about dessert?" he teased.

Changkyun rolled his eyes and pulled Jooheon down to kiss him deeply. He kept forgetting that he was allowed to do this now.

Jooheon eagerly kissed Changkyun back. Even though they spent all of their time together they didn't enjoy moments like this very often.

Changkyun pulled away from Jooheon’s mouth, panting heavily. “I believe I owe you for last time,” he said.

"Owe me for last time?" Jooheon asked, slightly confused. He had absolutely no idea what Changkyun was talking about and he was a little curious albeit a bit wary.

“Yeah, when you left a hickey on my neck during dinner, you ass,” Changkyun said, shaving at Jooheon’s shoulder.

Jooheon chuckled as everything clicked. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I left a mark," he said feigning innocence, "although I don't see why you would need to get me back for that."

“You absolutely did know, because I yelled at you about it!” Changkyun said with a laugh, “now c’mon, I wanna give you a hickey.”

"Fine, fine, but you gotta top for it," Jooheon said. He wasn't going to let Changkyun have his way  _ that _ easily; there was no fun in that.

Changkyun whined. “You know I can’t flip you over,” he said. It was true; Jooheon had quite a bit of weight and muscle over Changkyun.

"I'll make it easy for you," Jooheon said. He rolled himself off of Changkyun and laid on his back next to him. "I'm all yours."

Changkyun easily rolled on top of Jooheon. He kissed his boyfriend again, but not for long. Changkyun kissed down Jooheon’s neck until he found a spot he liked and bit down.

"You work fast," Jooheon gasped out when Changkyun bit into his neck. It had been ages since Changkyun had given him a hickey and he had to admit he liked the change. He tipped his head back against the pillow, giving his boyfriend easier access to his neck.

Changkyun ignored Jooheon, focusing instead on making sure the mark was as dark as he could make it.

"Hey, this is more than I did," Jooheon whined as Changkyun continued to abuse his neck. One of his hands came up to his boyfriend's hair and he tried to pull him away.

Changkyun gave Jooheon’s neck one last nip before allowing himself to be pulled away. He hummed in satisfaction.

"Kyunie, that's going to last for days," Jooheon whined. He didn't even want to think about what the mark was going to look like in the morning. At least he didn't have to worry about going to class.

“Good,” Changkyun said simply, “I got made fun of by Minhyuk, so you can deal with it.”

"Minhyuk saw it?" Jooheon asked incredulously. He couldn't help the smirk that slipped onto his face. At least someone was able to admire his handy work. "So what else do you want with me?"

“Yes, I told you that, that’s how I found out about it!” Changkyun said. He hadn’t planned on doing much more, but he certainly wouldn’t mind kissing Jooheon some more.

"I hope everyone else noticed it," Jooheon mused, "that way they all know who you belong to." He let his hand slip from Changkyu's hair so he could rest it on his waist instead.

Changkyun whined and slapped Jooheon’s chest lightly. “You’re such an ass,” he grumbled.

"But I'm your ass," Jooheon pointed out jokingly, "come on what else do you have up your sleeve?" He wasn't getting impatient per say, but he didn't want to waste anymore time.

“Nothing,” Changkyun said with a shrug, “I just wanted to get you back.”

"You're too easy," Jooheon mused. He flipped them over so he was back on top. He tilted his head and looked down at Changkyun for a moment before slowly leaning down.

Changkyun gasped, pretending to be offended. “How dare you?” He asked.

Jooheon paused. “Am I wrong?” he asked teasingly. He let his lips ghost over Changkyun’s.

“I’m not  _ that _ easy,” Changkyun mumbled, “I’m not really easy at all, actually!”

“I beg to differ,” Jooheon said as he stole a kiss for real. He kissed the tip of his boyfriend’s nose for good measure.

“We literally haven’t had sex since  _ you _ were in high school, Jooheon,” Changkyun said, “and you wanna call me easy?”

Jooheon frowned. “It doesn’t have to stay that way,” he mumbled.

“I don’t wanna do that tonight,” Changkyun said quietly.

“That’s fine, baby, we don’t have to,” Jooheon said soothingly. He kissed Changkyun’s cheek sweetly before nuzzling into his neck.

Changkyun felt bad. He could tell Jooheon was aroused; he could feel it against his leg. “I can help you out though,” he suggested.

Jooheon pulled his head back slightly. “And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” he asked coyly.

“However you want me to, as long as I get to keep my clothes on,” Changkyun said bluntly.

“What are you comfortable with?” Jooheon asked seriously. It had been ages since they had been intimate in any capacity and he didn’t want to push Changkyun into anything. Especially with how he had been feeling lately.

“Literally anything, as long as I don’t have to take my clothes off,” Changkyun reiterates. Maybe that wasn’t clear the first time he said it.

Jooheon tilted his head and stared down at Changkyun. If he truly meant what he said they would be able to have plenty of fun. "Well you don't need to take your clothes off to use your hands," he commented quietly.

“Yeah, okay,” Changkyun said. He pulled Jooheon down by his sweatshirt to kiss him again, then dropped his hands to the older man’s belt.

Jooheon hummed into the kiss. He was content to let Changkyun control the pace and simply reveled in the feeling of being with his boyfriend. 

Changkyun’s hands shook a little bit. It really had been a while since they had done this and, while he absolutely wanted to, he was scared of disappointing Jooheon. He just wanted to make his boyfriend happy.

Jooheon pulled away when he noticed how much Changkyun's hands were shaking. "Kyunie, you don't have to. It's okay; I won't be upset," he said. 

“No, no, I want to,” Changkyun said insistently, “I just...I don’t want it to be bad.”

"Oh, Kyunie, it won't be bad," Jooheon said, "just take it as slow as you need it." He had to admit it was kinda cute how worried Changkyun was.

“It’s been so long though,” Changkyun said nervously, “what if the same things don’t even get you off anymore?”

"Well then we'll try something else," Jooheon said, "we have a lot of time to kill don't we?" He leaned down to press gentle kisses around Changkyun's face, trying to get him to relax.

Changkyun frowned. “I feel bad though,” he said.

"Then just kiss me instead," Jooheon said, pulling back to look Changkyun in the eyes. 

Changkyun easily pulled Jooheon back down to kiss him happily. He hated that he felt so insecure around his boyfriend.

Jooheon immediately tilted his head and deepened the kiss. He felt bad that Changkyun was so tense, but he was determined to help him relax.

Changkyun found his hands falling to Jooheon’s waist. He loved kissing his boyfriend.

Jooheon set a slow, steady pace. He pulled away to catch his breath, but only for a moment before he reconnected their lips. He could feel Changkyun slowly beginning to relax underneath him and was glad that they were able to enjoy the moment.

As Changkyun relaxed, his head tipped back almost instinctively. As much as he had given Jooheon shit for the previous hickeys, he really did enjoy being marked up.

Jooheon pulled away again when Changkyun tipped his head back. Panting heavily, he kissed down his boyfriend's jawline and to his neck. He smirked against the soft skin, but didn't do any more.

Changkyun used his grip on Jooheon’s sweatshirt to tip his boyfriend over to the side. He would much rather have Jooheon next to him than on top of him.

Jooheon gasped quietly when Changkyun tipped him to the side. "I think I'm gonna go take a shower," he murmured, still kissing down his boyfriend's neck.

Changkyun whined but let Jooheon go. “Don’t take too long,” he said.

"I won't," Jooheon promised, stealing one last kiss before slipping out of bed. He grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom for a much needed hot shower. As he promised, he was back in bed quickly and wasted no time wrapping himself around Changkyun.

A few days later, Changkyun was feeling better. He was actually hungry again and spent his days mostly out of bed getting work done before the semester started up again.

Jooheon was sitting on the couch with his laptop in his lap. He had asked Hyunwoo to send him the information for the two plans and he now had them side by side. Despite his best efforts he hadn’t been able to figure out the name of Changkyun’s psychiatrist on his own so he was hoping the younger boy would be willing to at least pick the plan that would help him. “Hey, Kyunie, can you come over here when you have a minute?” he called.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Changkyun asked. He set his laptop aside and moved over to sit next to Jooheon. “What’s all this?”

"These are the two insurance plans Hyunwoo wants us to look at," Jooheon began slowly, "they both cover the basics, but beyond that I have no idea what half of this means and I don't know which one would be best." That was true; he still didn't fully understand the difference in the plans other than that one might not cover Changkyun's doctor.

“I thought we weren’t going to do that,” Changkyun said dubiously, “I guess the basics is okay, but we don’t need anything special.”

"He insisted I get new glasses, especially so that I can see better when I drive. I know he's not going to let us do anything less than either of these, but I don't know which one to pick. They both sound the same except for the providers they cover," Jooheon explained. He knew he was skirting around the actual question he needed to ask, but he didn't know how to bring it up without Changkyun getting upset.

“Alright,” Changkyun said easily, “just pick an eye doctor then. I don’t see what you need me for.”

Jooheon took a deep breath. "Well I really don't care which eye doctor I see, but these plans also cover mental health visits so I'd want to pick one that covers your doctor just in case you decide later that you want to see them," he said slowly. He watched Changkyun nervously, hoping that telling the trust was the right move.

“We agreed to drop that conversation,” Changkyun said steadily, “so just pick your eye doctor and move on.”

"Alright, I'll just pick one and let Hyunwoo know," Jooheon said, slightly defeated. He looked back and forth between the plans. There was no way he could pick one so he decided to let Hyunwoo make the choice.

Changkyun laid back over to his side of the couch and picked up his laptop again. He didn’t understand why Jooheon was so fixated on the stupid medication.

Jooheon pulled out his phone and typed out a message to Hyunwoo. "Hey, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you about the insurance. Kyunie doesn't want to go back to his doctor so I haven't gotten the name. Whichever plan you prefer will work fine for us." He sighed softly and pressed send.

Hyunwoo wasn’t surprised when he got a text from Jooheon, nor was he surprised at its contents. “I’ll need you guys to sign some documents in a few days,” he said, “but I’ll take care of everything else.”

"Sounds good. Thank you so much," Jooheon replied simply. He slipped his phone into his pocket and put his laptop on the coffee table. After reaching over with one hand to close it, he settled as comfortably as he could on his side of the couch.

Hyunwoo sighed to himself. He was alone at home and honestly very lonely. Hoseok and Kihyun were both on dates with their respective significant others and Hyunwoo was just stuck at home on a Saturday night. After a moment of contemplation, he texted Jooheon again. “Are you two busy tonight?”

Jooheon was surprised when his phone buzzed and even more so when he realized it was Hyunwoo. His eyes widened when he read the message. "No we're both free. Do you need something?" he replied after a few minutes. He had to admit he was a little hesitant to know what Hyunwoo was going to ask for, but there was no way they could say no.

“The new semester starts on Monday right? Let me take you guys out to celebrate,” Hyunwoo texted back. His fingers shook a little.

Jooheon read Hyunwoo's text twice to make sure he wasn't reading it wrong. "Hyunwoo wants to take us out tonight to celebrate before the new semester starts," he told Changkyun. He didn't respond yet, not quite sure how to phrase it.

“Celebrate what?” Changkyun asked, “our impending doom? Sure, I’ll take that.”

Jooheon chuckled. "I'm not quite sure what we'd be celebrating, but it'd be nice to get out," he said. He turned back to his phone to type out a message saying that he and Changkyun would both enjoy a night out before the semester started.

Hyunwoo released the breath he was holding when Jooheon finally replied. He sent them an address and added, “it’s a pub, but it is fairly upscale, so please dress on the nicer side of casual. I’ll see you at 7:30?”

Upscale? They didn't really have fancy clothes, but they would make something work. "We'll be sure to. See you then," Jooheon replied. He hated how stiff he sounded over text but there was nothing he could do about it now. He pulled up the restaurant's website on his phone and turned it around to show Changkyun. "This is the place. Hyunwoo said to dress kinda nice 'cause it's upscale," he explained.

“It’ll be weird to see him in normal clothes,” Changkyun said. Every time he’d seen the man so far, he’d been at least wearing a button up and slacks.

"That's true," Jooheon said with a chuckle, "although I wouldn't put it past him to still wear a button up." He glanced at the clock and realized they only had an hour until they had to leave.


	11. Chapter 11

An hour later found Hyunwoo waiting outside the bar. He was wearing a comfortable henley shirt under a windbreaker, dark wash jeans, and sneakers. Hopefully, the boys wouldn’t pass right by him in the dark.

Jooheon stayed practically glued to Changkyun's side as they walked up to the restaurant. He had on an old pair of black jeans that had managed to hold up quite nicely and the sweater Changkyun had helped him pick out when they first went clothes shopping. His boyfriend was wearing a deep blue jacket over a nice shirt of a slightly brighter shade of blue. He also wore sneakers and dark jeans similar to Jooheon's. He looked absolutely adorable in Jooheon's opinion. "Is that Hyunwoo?" he asked as they approached the restaurant entrance where a tall man stood waiting.

Hyunwoo glanced up when he heard footsteps and straightened up when he realized it was Jooheon and Changkyun. “You guys found the place alright?” he asked as he held the door open for them.

“Yeah it was easy to get here,” Jooheon replied. He let Changkyun go ahead of him and nodded his thanks to Hyunwoo before stepping inside.

“Good, good,” Hyunwoo said as he followed them in and stepped up to the hostess stand. “Table for three under Son,” he said.

Jooheon followed the hostess to their table and slid into the seat next to Changkyun. “Thank you for inviting us out. It’s nice to have one last fun night before we get busy again,” he said politely. This wasn’t as nearly as awkward as previous meetings had been, but there was still a tension in the atmosphere.

“I know it’s more fitting to celebrate the end of the semester rather than the beginning, but I figured it was about time to check in with you two anyway,” Hyunwoo said as he picked up his menu, “it’s all my treat, so get what you’d like.”

Jooheon squirmed in his seat and hid behind his menu. They were obviously doing a lot better since Hyunwoo started helping them out, but there was still a lot left unsaid.

Hyunwoo hated the tense silence. Once the waitress left with their drink orders, he closed his menu and set it down. “So what classes are you guys taking this semester?”

"I have a couple requirements for the school left to fill so I'm taking a history class," Jooheon wrinkled his nose as he said it, "but I'm also taking the next music theory and a couple of production classes with labs."

“How many semesters will you have left after this one?” Hyunwoo asked. The waitress brought their drinks and left to give them a few more minutes on the food.

"Just two more," Jooheon said, "there isn't really any point for me to go to grad school." It was scary that he only had a year and a half left of school but he was ready to get out into the field. Changkyun still had a long haul ahead of him and that was without even considering grad school.

“Have you talked to Hyungwonnie at all yet?” Hyunwoo asked, “you still need to do your internship, I assume.”

"Yeah I do, but, um, no I haven't contacted him yet," Jooheon said sheepishly. He didn't want to admit he was nervous about asking to meet. "I wanted to get settled into this semester first and see if I had enough time before I tried jumping into anything." Of course there wasn't even a guarantee that Hyungwon would be able to help him at all.

“Hyungwonnie’s got tons of friends underground,” Hyunwoo said, “I bet any one of them will pay you on top of the internship credit.”

Jooheon perked up at that. It would be nice to have a little extra income that he could put away to help build his savings. "I'll definitely talk to him soon," he promised.

Hyunwoo smiled, satisfied at that. Just as he was about to ask about Changkyun, the waitress came back to get their orders.

While Hyunwoo ordered his food, Jooheon snuck a look at Changkyun. His boyfriend didn't look too enthused to be there and Jooheon felt bad. He couldn't help the frown that slipped onto his face and he hoped that Hyunwoo didn't notice how downtrodden Changkyun was.

Once they had all ordered and handed off their menus, Hyunwoo turned his attention to Changkyun. “How have you been doing?” he asked. He wanted to make sure to give his boys equal attention. Odd. When had he started thinking of them as  _ his _ boys? “I’m okay,” Changkyun said quietly.

Jooheon reached under the table and laid a comforting hand on Changkyun's thigh. He was struggling to come up with a way to change the subject without seeming suspicious and he was coming up empty. He watched Changkyun's face closely, making sure his boyfriend didn't get too upset.

“What’s on your plate for next semester?” Hyunwoo asked, sipping at his drink. “Just gen-eds mostly,” Changkyun replied, “nothing exciting.”

"Next semester shouldn't be too bad for either of us but it'll depend on the professors we get," Jooheon said, trying to direct the attention back to himself. He knew Changkyun was exhausted and not up for much conversation. He hoped Hyunwoo would be understanding of Changkyun being so quiet.

Hyunwoo watched as Changkyun leaned his head on Jooheon’s shoulder. The younger boy was obviously not up for much talking, so he dropped the thread. He wasn’t sure where to pick it back up.

Jooheon rubbed his boyfriend's leg soothingly. "Have you had any other problems with your computer?" he asked conversationally. He didn't want to offer Changkyun's help at this moment, but if Hyunwoo needed help it would give him something to do outside of the apartment. 

Hyunwoo sighed heavily. “I think my copy of Excel has some sort of bug that’s scrambling my formulas,” he said, “every now and then, it just changes one completely.”

Jooheon looked down at Changkyun, but couldn't quite see the younger boy's face. "Hm, I'm not really good at fixing computers, but, Kyunie, do you think it's like what happened to mine last year?" he asked. He still wasn't sure what magic Changkyun had worked with his laptop to fix it last year, but he solved the problem within a few hours.

Changkyun shrugged again. “It’s probably a coding error, but you’ll have to take it up with Microsoft,” he said, “all of their codes are encrypted.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. Not long after the waitress brought over their food. "Do you want to try eating a little?" he whispered, "we can bring home whatever you don't want." He didn't want to force Changkyun off his shoulder, but he wanted his boyfriend to at least try to eat some of his dinner.

Changkyun sat up, moving over so Jooheon’s hand fell off his lap, and started to eat. He didn’t need his boyfriend on his ass about everything.

Jooheon could tell that annoyed Changkyun so he pulled his hand into his own lap. He picked up his own utensils and focused on his own dinner. "How is everything else with your business?" he asked politely, eyes trained downward. He didn't want to sit in silence through the rest of dinner, but it was so hard to start a natural conversation with Hyunwoo.

"It's been good," Hyunwoo said with a nod, "not much activity in my sector, really, but we're about to enter charity season, so I'll have a lot of events to attend soon."

"Oh? What are these events like?" Jooheon asked curiously. He had heard of businesses doing charity events but he never understood what they were or how they worked.

"A lot of them are auctions, so different investors will contribute some sort of item or prize package or something and everyone will bid. Some are just dinners where the price of the ticket is what gets donated, and there's some sort of show or other event included," Hyunwoo explained, "ours is more of a gala, so it's dinner and some dancing and a small silent auction. Mostly a networking event, really."

Jooheon nodded along as Hyunwoo explained the events. "It sounds like it takes a lot of work to organize," he commented.

"Which is why it's Kihyun's job," Hyunwoo said with a smile, "I could never handle putting together an event like that. It's practically his brain child."

"Oh, wow," Jooheon murmured, "when is the first event?" If Hyunwoo was busy with events he wouldn't be able to check in on them as often and Jooheon wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing yet.

"Oh, not for another month or so," Hyunwoo said, "and even when they start, it's usually just once or twice a weekend, so I'll still be available to you guys."

"It wouldn't be fair of us to demand your attention while you're busy," Jooheon said quickly, "we can just contact you if there's an emergency until all the events are over." He didn't want to make it seem like he wanted to avoid Hyunwoo, but he felt bad that the older man was still so focused on them even when he had events to handle for his business.

"You guys barely demand any attention as it is," Hyunwoo said, "really, you can contact me for anything at any time."

Jooheon nodded. "Thank you," he said softly. He turned his focus to his dinner, not wanting it to get cold. He still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Hyunwoo was there for them whenever they needed, and he wasn't sure if he would ever get there. He snuck a look at Changkyun who still clearly wasn't enjoying himself and he knew he would have to get his boyfriend home soon.

They ate in silence and it was overwhelmingly awkward, even for Hyunwoo. He could never tell if the two boys enjoyed his company or not, but his bets leaned toward no.

Jooheon felt horrible. He wanted to explain to Hyunwoo that Changkyun really wasn't feeling well, but he knew it would only spark an argument at home. When he was done, he placed his utensils on the table and folded his hands in his lap. "You really are too good to us sometimes," he mumbled. He didn't realize he had said it out loud until half of the sentence was already out of his mouth.

Hyunwoo glanced up, eyes wide. He hadn't expected Jooheon to say that and, by the look on his face, Jooheon hadn't either. "I could definitely do better for you," he said awkwardly, "but you won't let me."

Jooheon bit his lip; he needed to be careful to not slip up like that again. He knew apologizing would only make things worse so he decided on a different route. "You've done so much for us already," he pointed out, "we're in a lot better of a place than we've been in a long time."

Hyunwoo hummed. He still didn’t think it was good enough, but he didn’t want to fight with Jooheon right now. “How was your food?” he asked instead.

"Really good," Jooheon replied, happily changing the subject, "I've always wanted to try it here." It wasn't a lie. There were several restaurants around the city that Jooheon wanted to take Changkyun to but never had the opportunity.

“That’s good, I’m glad,” Hyunwoo said. He could tell his smile was a little tight now, but hopefully he could pass that off as having had a long day.

Jooheon panicked a little as he caught onto Hyunwoo's tone. He hoped he hadn't ruined the semi-good terms they were on. "Did you like the food, Kyunie?" he asked, turning to his boyfriend.

Changkyun glanced from where he was playing with his shirt sleeves, having slumped over again onto his boyfriend. “It was great, thank you,” he said to Hyunwoo.

Jooheon started to reach over to smooth Changkyun's hair out of his face, but quickly stopped himself. He was glad this had at least gotten his boyfriend out of the apartment, but he felt bad that he obviously wasn't enjoying it. He knew they would home and in bed soon and then he would be able to focus all of his attention on Changkyun.

“It’s clear we’re all pretty tired,” Hyunwoo said after a minute, “why don’t you two head out and I’ll take care of the bill?”

Jooheon nodded, not wanting to argue in the slightest. "Thank you again so much for dinner," he said as he helped Changkyun stand, "it was nice to see you."

“You as well,” Hyunwoo said as he stood up to go find the waitress, “I’ll keep in touch about those documents. Good luck with the new semester.”

"That sounds great. Thank you again," Jooheon said, bowing his head slightly. With that he guided Changkyun out of the restaurant and over to his car so he could drive them home.

Hyunwoo felt heavy as he headed home. He had made it clear when they had first set this arrangement up that it was nothing more than a use of funds, so why was he so disappointed?

Jooheon got them home a little quicker than he should have, but he didn’t care. “I’m gonna wash up and get changed quick and I’ll meet you in bed,” he said as he disappeared down the hallway.

Changkyun all but collapsed into Jooheon’s bed. For once, he wasn’t particularly sad, he was just exhausted. Going out had sapped a lot of his energy.

When Jooheon was in more comfortable clothes he headed back into his bedroom. He crawled into bed and pulled the covers over both of them before wrapping his arms around Changkyun.

Changkyun adjusted his head to lay on Jooheon’s chest. “Hyunwoo seemed sad,” he said after a while.

“It was probably my fault,” Jooheon mumbled. Everything had been fine until he had slipped and made that stupid comment. He really wasn’t able to get anything right when it came to Hyunwoo.

“No, he seemed sad the entire time,” Changkyun said, shaking his head, “I mean, it was weird enough for him to ask us to go out in the first place. He said from the beginning that he wouldn’t make requests like that.”

Jooheon hummed. “He did say he wanted to check in on us,” he trailed off. They really hadn’t discussed any money they spent or really any specifics on how they were doing. “Maybe it was just because he wanted us to get out one more time before the semester gets busy.”

Changkyun hummed. Maybe Jooheon was right, but he couldn’t seem to let it go. “Hoseok and Kihyun both have significant others, or at the very least, people they are somewhat intimately involved with,” he said, “and Hyunwoo doesn’t seem to have any other close friends outside of the four of them. I think...I think he might be lonely.”

Jooheon paused for a moment, mulling over what Changkyun said. It made a lot of sense and also explained why he was so insistent on helping them. “You know, Kyunie, you might be right,” he mused. He wasn’t exactly sure what they could do about it though.

“I mean, think about it,” Changkyun said, turning on his side to look at Jooheon, “he’s the big guy at the top, the big corner office, probably alone most of the day. He’s a bachelor, so he goes home to no one. Both of his best friends are involved and his only other friends are their significant others. Then he finally gets the opportunity to maybe get close to someone else and what do we do? Make it clear we’re just in it for the money and constantly fight him on it. We’re so fucking lucky he’s as patient as he is because anyone else would have dropped us by now.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. Changkyun was absolutely right. “And what do you want to do? Start inviting him over for coffee? We can’t be friends with the guy, Kyunie, that’s not how this works,” he said. While he felt bad for Hyunwoo, he was wary about getting any closer with him.

“I don’t know,” Changkyun said, frustrated, “I just feel so bad. He looked so forlorn when we left, Heonie, I almost wanted to go back and stay longer.”

Jooheon was a little surprised Changkyun felt that way, especially with how tired he was. “Well he’ll be coming by in a couple of days to have us sign some paperwork. Maybe we can make a nice dinner to thank him and give him some company,” he suggested.

“Yeah, maybe,” Changkyun said, settling back down. He just felt like there was more he could do. Jooheon had been resistant this entire time, so it wasn’t surprising that he didn’t care.

Jooheon could tell Changkyun didn’t like that idea, but he wasn’t going to push the issue. They would end up arguing if the conversation continued anymore. He pulled Changkyun a little closer and kissed the top of his head gently.

Changkyun sighed and let Jooheon pull him closer. While his boyfriend drifted off, he kept brainstorming.

Monday morning rolled around and Kihyun was not in the mood to get anything done. He waited as long as he could, only until mid-morning before he couldn’t take it any longer. He made himself and Hyunwoo a cup of coffee before heading to the older man’s office. “Knock knock,” he called as he finagled the door open.

“Kihyun,” Hyunwoo said, not looking up from his computer, “I would very much appreciate it if you didn’t break my office door.”

“Sorry,” Kihyun apologized airily as he pushed the door closed with his foot. “I brought you some coffee.” He set the cup on Hyunwoo’s desk and sat in one of the chairs, making himself comfortable.

“Yeah, and? What’s the price?” Hyunwoo asked, finally looking at his friend with raised eyebrows.

“A thank you” Kihyun said, “and maybe a retelling of how your weekend went.” He took a sip of coffee and found his attention being drawn to a small crack in the paint on the wall in the far corner of the office.

“Nothing happened, it sucked, you’re dismissed,” Hyunwoo said, turning back to his monitor.

Kihyun turned back towards Hyunwoo, eyes wide. “You missed the thank you,” he muttered, “but I’m not worried about that, I’m worried about you. What happened? And don’t tell me it’s nothing again because then I’m just gonna have to get Minhyuk involved,” he said.

“Don’t you have a job to do?” Hyunwoo asked, finally getting fed up and turning to face Kihyun fully, “a job that I’m paying you to be doing right now? A job that is absolutely not badgering me about my social life when you’re not around?”

“Hey hey, no need to get mad at me,” Kihyun said, standing up, “I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay, but evidently you’re not. If you want to talk about it after work let me know.” He turned around to walk out of the office, already pulling his phone out of his pocket to text Minhyuk.

Hyunwoo huffed and got up to close the door. He hadn’t meant to snap at his friend, but he was not in the mood to be badgered.

Kihyun fired out a quick message to Minhyuk and then headed down to Hoseok’s office. “Hey, just a heads up, something happened with Hyunwoo and he’s not in a great mood. He won’t tell me what is but I thought I should warn you,” he said. Hoseok nodded, “I’ll talk to him at lunch.”

Hyunwoo was still annoyed by the time lunch rolled around. If he had to talk to another person, he’d probably scream.

When it was lunchtime, Hoseok headed down the hallway to Hyunwoo’s office. He knocked gently before letting himself in. “Hey,” he greeted quietly.

“No,” Hyunwoo said right away, “not you too. I know Kihyun sent you and I don’t want to talk about it.”

Hoseok sighed softly and closed the door behind himself. “Kihyun didn’t ask me to come, I came on my own,” he said as he approached the desk, “I understand you not wanting to talk to Kihyun, but you know you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

“There’s nothing _bothering_ me, I’m just _busy_ , please go away,” Hyunwoo said stubbornly.

“Hyunwoo, I know you too well for that to work,” Hoseok said patiently, “and I also know you’re busy, but you can afford to take a mental break for a few minutes.”

Hyunwoo groaned and flared at Hoseok. “Can’t you both just drop it?” he asked, “I’m fucking fine on my own.”

Hoseok took a step back. He hadn’t seen Hyunwoo this upset in a long time. “I’m not going to drop it because I’m worried about you. You may be fine on your own, but you could be better if you confided in someone,” he said gently.

“Yeah, well, sucks for me then,” Hyunwoo said tersely, flinging his hands up and slumping back in his seat.

“Hyunwoo, don’t be like this,” Hoseok begged, “you’re not gonna scare me off like you did with Kihyun so you might as well tell me what happened and maybe I can help.”

Hyunwoo sighed. He knew he was being an ass. “Am I doing the right thing?” he asked, “supporting those kids and getting nothing from it?”

Hoseok slipped into a chair. He wasn’t surprised this was about the kids. “It’s not about right or wrong it’s about if all of you are happy. If you want something out of it then arrange some new conditions with the boys,” he said.

“They already think I’m overstepping,” Hyunwoo said, “and it feels wrong to force them into anything by holding the money over their heads. Am I too ethical a person for this sort of thing?”

“Maybe,” Hoseok said honestly, “I think you forget what they signed up for. The arrangement was they would be getting money in exchange for doing what you want. You choose not to have them pay you back. Of course you can change your mind, but that’s what they probably expected walking into this deal.

“But it feels wrong!” Hyunwoo said, “they don’t want to have anything to do with me. I took them out to dinner on Saturday and they were both fucking miserable the entire time!”

Hoseok sighed sadly. “Are you sure they were miserable because of dinner? I know you’ve been getting closer to them, but you don’t know what could have happened that put them both in a bad mood,” Hoseok said.

“Jooheon’s miserable any time he has to have anything to do with me,” Hyunwoo said, “and all Changkyun wanted to do was go home.”

“Have you considered ending the arrangement?” Hoseok asked carefully, “if none of you are happy there really isn’t a good reason this should continue.”

“I can’t,” Hyunwoo said, shaking his head, “I cannot drop them back in that position, and I can’t just up and leave on them.”

“What exactly  _ do  _ you want from this?” Hoseok asked. He admired Hyunwoo for not giving up on the boys, but there had to be some give somewhere or this wasn’t going to work.

“I originally didn’t want anything,” Hyunwoo said, “and I feel like anything I ask them to do now will be completely forced and I don’t want that either. Isn’t it completely miserable to know that the only reason someone is spending time with you is because you’ve paid them to do so? How did you and Hyungwon handle it?”

Hoseok sighed sadly. “It was...rough in the beginning,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, “at first I wanted him to check in every couple weeks or so and all I would get was a simple ‘I’m doing fine.’ Once he got settled into a job he liked and he didn’t have to worry about school as much he became a lot happier. That’s really when things turned around. He reached out to me more on his own and was genuinely excited about everything going on. Talking more led to our relationship improving and here we are.”

“Great,” Hyunwoo said, “so I’ve got at least another year and a half until this gets better. Wonderful. Thank you, Hoseok.”

"Not necessarily," Hoseok said patiently, "you have to work with them not for them or this is never going to work out. I know you're doing your best for them and I know it's hard that they don't seem to appreciate it fully.

"It's not that they don't appreciate it," Hyunwoo said with a sigh, "I can tell that they're grateful. They just don't want to have any contact aside from it."

Hoseok watched Hyunwoo closely for a moment. It was evident by the look on his face and the tone in his voice that he cared about these boys a lot more than he let on. "You know these boys better than I ever will so I'm sure you have some inkling as to why they don't want any other contact."

"I don't know much about Changkyun, but I know Jooheon just doesn't trust me," Hyunwoo said, "he's had a lot of people leave him so he can't seem to figure out why I'm not doing that."

Hoseok let out a long breath. "You're not gonna win his trust overnight so you have to decide if it’s worth the fight. You can always go out and meet new people, find some friends to spend your weekends with and just keep supporting the boys as they need it," he said. He hated seeing Hyunwoo so hung up on this.

"You know how hard that is for me," Hyunwoo said, "even our friendship was completely dependent on you worming your way into my life." A small smile made its way onto Hyunwoo's face as he remembered how they had met. He and Hoseok had grown up together and he had cried when five-year-old Hoseok had first tried to talk to him. He had been that scared of talking to other people and, despite his position in life, he had never really outgrown it.

“Well then you need to find someone who’s going to put in the effort to get to know you,” Hoseok said, “you’re only going to be disappointed and discouraged if you keep chasing these kids. I know this was my idea and I really thought it would be good for you, but it won’t be if these boys aren’t putting in the same effort you are.”

"You can't blame them," Hyunwoo said defensively, "I haven't asked them to put in that effort. I specifically told them that they didn't have to."

"Then why are you so hung up on this?" Hoseok asked, "If you didn't ask them to put in the effort and you told them not to, you can't be disappointed when stuff like this happens."

"Still feels like shit," Hyunwoo said, "especially when I watch you and Hyungwon or Kihyunnie and Minhyuk."

Hoseok felt a pang of guilt. "I know it doesn't feel good, Hyunwoo, but you have to pick what you want and go for it. You can't say one thing, demand another, and then get upset when what you want doesn't happen. Hyungwon and I didn't get this close because I let him have complete free rein. I had my requirements and I let him determine the rest."

"And what were those requirements?" Hyunwoo asked. He really didn't know much about Hoseok and Hyungwon's relationship.

“Well the main things he needed were help paying for school and a decent job to help support his family. I had him contact me usually every week, but sometimes every couple depending on what was going on at home or with classes. I really only had him report his grades and how work was going. I also didn’t want to demand a lot because I know college students are incredibly busy, but I wanted to make sure he was taking full advantage of my help, and he did,” Hoseok explained.

"Did he at any point refuse to take advantage?" Hyunwoo asked, "because that's part of the issue. They want help, but not too much help."

"He wouldn't really let me help him with anything at home," Hoseok said after a moment, "he didn't want his parents to find out so I wasn't able to help him with groceries, new clothes, or anything like that. It took some compromising, but we worked out a system that both of us are happy with. As he's been able to build up some savings for himself, it's been getting better, but even now we still have arguments about it."

"How did you two progress to the point you're at now then?" Hyunwoo asked, "not that I'm looking for that, but just...something more than a business transaction."

Hoseok smiled knowingly and sat back in his chair. "Part of the compromise would be that I would have new clothes for him and any food he wanted at my house. He could come and go as he pleased and his parents were none the wiser. He was eating better and had somewhere quiet to be when things got bad at home and I felt better knowing he was taken care of. Of course I ended up inadvertently spending more time with him, which led to him sharing more about work and school and opening up in general and our relationship just gradually improved."

Hyunwoo sighed. "I don't know how to get a more even compromise without making them think that I'm overstepping or something, because that's what the issue is. I've been arguing with Jooheon for _three weeks_ about getting them health insurance because he thought it was too much."

Hoseok furrowed his eyebrows. "He thought _health insurance_ was too much? I get the hesitation if they needed to hide this, but they don't. Boy, this kid sounds like the exact opposite of what you need. What about the other one? Changkyun? You said you don't know a lot about him so maybe just try seeing what he wants out of all of this and maybe that'll go better," he said.

“I had to remind Jooheon that not being able to see while he drives could hurt Changkyun to get him to agree to a basic vision plan once he finally decided that he wanted it, and he only decided to go for it in the first place once he realized he could use it to get Changkyun back on his medication, which Changkyun is still refusing to do even now that they’ll have it,” Hyunwoo said with a heavy sigh, “I know Changkyun was the one to create and use the the account and that the entire thing was his idea, because he’s been a lot more open to everything than Jooheon has. He stopped working completely when he started getting tutoring from Minhyuk and to my knowledge he hasn’t gone back. I think it’s just a matter of being patient and waiting for them to realize I’m not going anywhere, but it’s gonna fucking suck in the meantime.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t get so hung up on Jooheon. If he doesn’t trust you then don’t waste your time trying to prove yourself. You’re only going to push him further away. Changkyun seems to be adjusting fine to this other than refusing to go back on his meds. Maybe you’ll have more luck if you just focus on him,” Hoseok said.

“I just want the damn kid to like me,” Hyunwoo said with a childish pout. He didn’t say it, but he worried that asking them to come in to renegotiate would scare them off completely.

Hoseok chuckled. "I know you do, but unfortunately not everyone is going to appreciate your big heart like they should," he said, "you need to decide if you're going to put in more of an effort to get to know them or if you are just going to back off and let them come to you like you originally planned," he said. He glanced at the clock at the wall and was a bit surprised with how long they had been talking for.

"Are they going to come to me if I don't put in the effort though?" Hyunwoo asked pensively, "or will they think I don't care and not want to come to me?"

"I...I don't know," Hoseok admitted, "I'm inclined to say that they might think you don't care because that's how they've been thinking their whole lives, but I don't know them."

"That's why it's so hard to figure this out," Hyunwoo said, "and if I ask for a reneg, they might think I'm either gonna back out or ask for sex or something."

"Maybe rather than asking for a renegotiation ask them if they are happy with this arrangement how it is, and if not, figure out why. You can explain that you aren't because you feel that the relationship is very impersonal and not what you were looking for when you agreed to help them," Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo hummed. "I have to meet with them so they can sign the insurance papers later this week anyway, so we'll see," he said, "but I should let you get back to work."

Hoseok nodded. "See how that goes and then decide what you want to do," he said, "are you feeling better now?" He stood up from the chair but didn't leave the office.

"I am," Hyunwoo said, "but I probably owe Kihyun an apology."

"It's what he gets for being nosy," Hoseok said breezily, "I'll have a chat with him and make sure he stays out of your hair about this."

"Thanks, Hoseok," Hyunwoo said with a smile, "now get back to work, grunt!"

“Alright, alright. I’m going. I’m going,” Hoseok said with a smile. With one last backwards glance over his shoulder, he made his leave and headed back to his own office.


	12. Chapter 12

A few days later, Hyunwoo had made arrangements to go over to the boys' apartment with the documents for them to sign. In exchange, they insisted on making him dinner, or at least Jooheon had. He still wasn't quite sure where Changkyun stood on this whole ordeal. 

"Kyunie, can you please help me?" Jooheon begged, "you're the better cook out of the two of us." They had agreed on a slightly fancier recipe than what they usually cook for tonight, but Jooheon quickly realized he was in over his head.

"Sure," Changkyun said, taking over for his boyfriend, "I think Hyunwoo's here. There's been a suspicious creaking outside our door for like ten minutes now."

"Hm, I wonder why he didn't knock," Jooheon mused. He walked over to the door and peered through the peephole. Sure enough Hyunwoo was standing just outside the door looking surprisingly nervous. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the door open, greeted Hyunwoo politely, and stepped to the side to let him in.

Hyunwoo was surprised when the door suddenly swung open and he smiled sheepishly. "Hey," he said awkwardly, "I have all your forms."

"Oh yes, thank you. Let me go grab a pen from my backpack," Jooheon said. He closed and locked the door behind Hyunwoo and disappeared down the hallway towards his bedroom.

Hyunwoo made his way toward the kitchen, following his nose. He leaned against the counter, placing the folder down on the marble, and quietly watched Changkyun cook.

Jooheon snagged the pen from his backpack and headed back to the kitchen. He froze when he saw Hyunwoo watching Changkyun with a look of...fondness? No, that couldn't be it. Jooheon shook his head and walked over to Hyunwoo. "What parts do we need to sign?" he asked.

Hyunwoo flipped the folder open. "Everything for you is highlighted in yellow and everything for Changkyun is in green," he said, sliding the folder toward Jooheon.

Jooheon nodded and pulled the folder towards himself. He took his time reading over the documents, almost using it as a time killer, and signing his name and initials where necessary. 

"Smells good," Hyunwoo said to Changkyun as he was waiting for Jooheon to sign everything. He felt exceedingly awkward.

Jooheon closed the folder and slid it back over to Hyunwoo. "Kyunie's a really good cook," he said proudly. He propped his elbows on the counter and rested his head on his hands, watching his boyfriend openly.

"It's nothing special," Changkyun said, cheeks flushing red, "you could do it yourself if you knew how to follow a recipe, Jooheon."

"I can follow a recipe!" Jooheon said defensively. If Hyunwoo wasn't there he would have stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend, but he resorted to simply pouting instead.

"You burned pasta the other day because you didn't follow the instructions that said to set a timer and stir occasionally," Changkyun said, looking up at his boyfriend, "pasta."

"It wasn't burnt," Jooheon whined miserably. He was absolutely mortified. He hid his head in his hands, wanting nothing more than to disappear somewhere far away from Hyunwoo.

"It was stuck to the bottom of the pot and half of it was black," Changkyun said, fighting a smile, "but it's okay because you're really good at washing all these dishes when I'm done."

"One of these days you're gonna have to do your own damn dishes," Jooheon grumbled. Changkyun really was lucky he was cute or Jooheon wouldn't give into him nearly as easily.

"Well, now, that wouldn't be very fair, would it," Changkyun said, "I'll do the dishes when you cook, how about that?"

"Teach me how to cook then," Jooheon countered. He braved untucking his head and snuck a quick look at Hyunwoo.

Changkyun smiled at Jooheon. "Someday when we're not so busy." Hyunwoo found his opportunity to jump into the conversation then. "How has the first week been?" he asked.

“Not too horrible, but my theory professor is being a dick this semester for some reason. I usually teach myself what I need for that class anyway so it’s not a huge deal,” Jooheon grumbled.

Hyunwoo nodded in understanding. He remembered something about Hyungwon taking a music theory class and hating it just as much, so he hoped it wasn’t the same class.

“Your week was pretty good though, wasn’t it, Kyunie?” Jooheon asked. His head was resting on his hands again, but he didn’t think the flush of embarrassment would leave his cheeks for the rest of the evening. 

Changkyun hummed. “Everything seems okay so far, but we’ll see how the next few weeks go,” he said. His schedule this semester wasn’t conducive to a job, so he couldn’t start working again until the summer, which was disappointing.

Jooheon nodded along. Changkyun had done fine this first week, but Jooheon was nervous that once the work started piling on, everything would go downhill. “I’m gonna talk to Hyungwon this weekend,” he promised, turning towards Hyunwoo.

“Here, Jooheon, stir this so I can sign this stuff,” Changkyun said, stepping away from the stove, “ _ slowly _ .”

Jooheon not so subtly shot Changkyun a glare before stepping up to the stove. “Is this speed satisfactory for you, your highness?” he snarked as he started spinning the wooden spoon slowly around the pot.

“Perfect,” Changkyun said, not even bothering to look. As long as there was no splashing, it would be fine.

Jooheon rolled his eyes, but turned back to face the stove. He was actually a bit nervous and he didn’t want to mess up something as simple as stirring.

Changkyun read through the papers, acting like he understood what he was reading. If Jooheon thought it was good enough, then it probably was, and he didn’t want to seem dumb, so he just signed away.

Jooheon started to panic when the pot started to bubble. He didn't want to touch anything else, and he wasn't quite sure what to do. "Kyunie, what now?" he asked nervously.

“Just keep stirring, it’s fine,” Changkyun said as he finished signing. He glanced over at the stove. “Turn the heat down a notch.”

Jooheon turned the heat down like Changkyun said and kept stirring. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this whole cooking thing after all.

“You’re doing fine, Heonie,” Changkyun said, “it’s just about done anyway, so just keep stirring slowly.” He bustled around the kitchen, grabbing plates and utensils.

Jooheon did as he was told and kept stirring until Changkyun came back over. He happily stepped to the side and let his boyfriend finish and plate the noodles.

Changkyun set the plates on the counter and turned off the stove. “Hyung, what do you want to drink?”

Jooheon grabbed his bowl and headed to the table. Changkyun had begun to refer to Hyunwoo as hyung more often recently and he should probably do the same, but he was much too awkward.

“Oh, uh, just water is fine,” Hyunwoo said, taking his plate and going to sit. Changkyun filled three glasses with water and carried them and his own plate over in two trips.

"Thanks, Kyunie," Jooheon said, taking the glass of water. "I know dinner was my idea, but I can't take any of the credit for it, obviously."

“You started and finished it,” Changkyun said, “I really didn’t do anything.” As much as Jooheon discounted his cooking, it really wasn’t that bad.

Jooheon just shook his head. "Kyunie, doesn't really like to take credit for what he does and it's almost always a lot more than he says it is," he explained. 

Changkyun blushed and waved Jooheon off. “How has your week been?” he asked Hyunwoo instead.

Jooheon smiled fondly and turned his attention to his dinner. If Changkyun could keep Hyunwoo occupied then maybe he could sneak off to his room. No, there was no way he could do that without being rude. Maybe if he stayed quiet enough he could just listen to their conversation rather than participating in it.

“It’s been pretty good,” Hyunwoo said, “we’re in kind of a slow point of the year, so there’s not a lot happening, which is nice.”

Jooheon ate in silence, listening to Changkyun and Hyunwoo talk. They actually got along pretty well and were able to have a nice conversation. When everyone was done eating, Jooheon quickly gathered the empty bowls and brought them to the sink.

When all the dishes were done, Hyunwoo nervously brought out the other folder that he had brought with him. Inside it was a basic contract detailing the terms of their relationship.

Jooheon was surprised to see Hyunwoo had another folder with him. He thought they signed all the paperwork, but apparently not. “What’s this?” he asked, taking his seat again.

“I thought it might be in all of our best interests to have an actual contract laying out the terms of our involvement,” Hyunwoo said diplomatically, “that way, you’ll have a little more assurance than I won’t just disappear on you.”

Jooheon froze. He didn’t expect Hyunwoo to come with a contract and he wasn’t a fan of it in the slightest. Although it could hold Hyunwoo from running out on them, it was his contract and there was really nothing stopping him from violating it at any point he saw fit. He also didn’t like being held to a contract because that meant he wouldn’t be able to break things off as easily without raising more problems.

Hyunwoo flipped the folder open and turned it in Jooheon’s direction. “This details our dealings to my understanding as they stand right now,” he explained, handing the younger man a pen, “any edits you make on a physical copy are completely valid, so edit away.”

Jooheon took the pen hesitantly. He read everything over and it all matched up to how their relationship currently stood. The only note he jotted at the end was that either party was able to end the arrangement at any time they saw fit. He knew that made it easier for Hyunwoo to drop them, but he had to make that condition fair to both sides. After signing his name, he passed the contract and the pen to Changkyun.

Changkyun took the contract and read it over carefully. He frowned at Jooheon’s addition. If the point of the contract was to lock Hyunwoo in to it, as proposed by Hyunwoo himself, why would his boyfriend get rid of that part? He scratched that part out, leaning over to whisper to Jooheon. As it was, either party could already lawfully terminate the contract when needed, so long as there was agreement, and Jooheon was actually taking that protection away. “Is there anything you want to add?” he asked Hyunwoo.

Jooheon frowned when Changkyun whispered to him, but didn't say anything. He didn't like the idea of being locked into a contract, but there was no way he could argue that now. With a soft sigh, he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms.

Hyunwoo glanced at the page, skimming over the document again. He opened his mouth then closed it again, unsure of how to phrase this without it coming out wrong. “I would like to propose a little more...contact between us,” he tried.

"What do you mean by contact?" Jooheon asked slowly. He was very apprehensive about this idea, but he already knew he'd be struck with it.

“Talk to me,” Hyunwoo said bluntly, “let me know how your day is going or whatever you want. It feels awkward making this all about the money, especially if this is going to be an extended relationship, and I’d really like it if we could be some level of friends.”

Jooheon was relieved, but still not entirely sure about this whole thing. He didn't plan on this being an extended relationship and had no desire to be friends with Hyunwoo. What happens if they did get close and Hyunwoo then decided to up and leave? He didn't want that to happen. He didn't think he could  _ handle  _ that happening again. "Yeah, we can talk to you more," he said, expressing the exact opposite of his desires. If he left the contacting to Changkyun, he wouldn't have to worry about getting closer to Hyunwoo. 

“I don’t want to force anything but I would like to hear from both of you,” Hyunwoo said, “I don’t think it’s unfair to ask for that much.”

Jooheon's mouth pressed into a hard line. He was well and truly trapped with no way around it. Contacting Hyunwoo every once and awhile really wasn't the worst thing he would be required to do; he was basically footing all of their expenses after all. It wasn't like they really had to become friends or get any closer than they already were. "Checking in more often shouldn't be a problem at all," he said after a moment.

“It’s just a suggestion,” Hyunwoo said quietly, “you aren’t required to agree to it and I won’t be upset if you don’t.” Every part of him ached.

Jooheon softened when he heard the sad tone Hyunwoo's voice had taken on. Maybe Changkyun was right; maybe he really was lonely and just wanted some human contact. "No, no, you're right. Plus it really is the least we can do after everything you've already done for us," he said.

Changkyun still had the pen so he scribbled at the bottom that they would both contact Hyunwoo at least once a week.

Jooheon looked over to see what Changkyun had written. Once a week, that was it. He could handle once a week.

Once a week was a reasonable expectation for Hyunwoo to have. “I also have another request,” he said, “I don’t expect you to agree, but I’d like to put it out there anyway. I have a number of charity events coming up and it is generally taboo to attend stag. In the past, Hoseok and I have attended together, but he’ll be taking Hyungwon this year, so I’d like to ask you two to accompany me this year. They’re primarily networking events, minimal photography allowed. You don’t both have to come to everyone, but I would like you each to at least attend one and I’d like it if you would both attend my company’s gala, which is the last one of the season. They’re weekend events, once or twice a weekend for six weeks I believe. Again, don’t expect you to agree, but I thought I would broach the subject.”

Jooheon quickly knitted his hands together in his lap so Hyunwoo couldn't see them shaking. It was one thing to hear about these events, but to actually go to one? This made the idea of contacting Hyunwoo once a week seem like nothing at all. There was no way they could refuse the condition, but Jooheon was absolutely not attending an event without Changkyun. "We'll come to events as long as our workload for that weekend isn't too much," he said slowly. His tone gave away how nervous he felt about this, but he didn't particularly feel like explaining to Hyunwoo how much he detested big social gatherings.

“You don’t have to agree to any of it,” Hyunwoo reminded Jooheon, knowing the boy was much more hesitant than he let on.

"It's the least we could do after everything you've done for us," Jooheon reiterated. On top of owing Hyunwoo for helping them, he knew Changkyun would have his head if he refused any of the conditions and he would rather save himself the argument.

“No,” Hyunwoo said firmly, “if you’re agreeing because you feel obligated to, then I’m not even going to include it. I only want you to agree to things that you’re genuinely comfortable with doing, not just everything I put on the table.”

Jooheon chewed on his lip. "I'll feel comfortable going to events as long as Changkyun is there," he said truthfully. He didn't want to elaborate any further than that so he hoped Hyunwoo would be satisfied.

“What would we be required to...do at these events?” Changkyun asked, a little nervously. “They’re honestly pretty boring for the most part,” Hyunwoo said candidly, “some of the events would enable you to do some networking in your fields, but for the most part, it’s just dinner and a little entertainment. You won’t be expected to know anything about the company or the industry, I’ll make sure to introduce you so that you don’t get dragged into any of that.”

Jooheon perked up at the idea of being able to make some connections. If he was going to go to these events the least he could do was benefit from them. "And, uh, how exactly would you introduce us?" he asked awkwardly. He didn't mind being affiliated with Hyunwoo, but he was curious if they would simply be introduced as friends or not.

Hyunwoo smiled wryly. “The interesting thing about introductions is that, if you give enough mundane information, no one will question the relation. I can tell them that Im Changkyun is a university student studying computer science and they’ll never even question how I know you. And if they ask you, you can respond however you’d like.”

Jooheon nodded. He was satisfied with that. As long as no one other than Hyunwoo's friends knew the nature of their relationship then he would be okay. He snuck a look at Changkyun, trying to gauge how his boyfriend felt about the whole thing.

Changkyun was nodding along slowly. “I think that’s okay,” he said finally, “Jooheon and I will...acquire suits of some sort, so just let us know when and where.”

Jooheon had never owned a suit before so this really was a completely new experience. As hesitant as he was about this whole thing, he knew it would be okay as long as he had Changkyun.

“I can provide assistance with that if needed,” Hyunwoo said as Changkyun wrote “occasionally accompany to events” in the margins of the contract.

"Yeah, it'd probably be best if you helped us," Jooheon said sheepishly. He didn't know the first thing about suits, let alone where to even get them, so having help would definitely take the stress out of it.

“The first event isn’t for a few weeks, so just let me know when you’re available and we’ll get it taken care of,” Hyunwoo said, “I’ll even consider it your contact for the week.” Another ache.

Jooheon felt guilty at that. "No, no," he said quickly, "contacting you is supposed to be checking it to say how we're doing. It doesn't count if we're meeting with you so that you can help us with something."

“Said conversation will likely be made at the same time,” Hyunwoo said, “I don’t intend to force my presence on you more than agreed.”

Jooheon dropped his head. "I'm sure we'll figure something out that makes us all happy," he mumbled. He didn't like how guilty he felt, but he couldn't help it. 

“If you guys don’t have any other addenda, then you can go ahead and sign,” Hyunwoo said, nodding toward the paper.

"I don't have anything else to add. Do you, Kyunie?" Jooheon asked. The conditions were mangeable in theory, but he was still hesitant about being bound by a contract.

“No, I think that’s it for me,” Changkyun said. He leaned down and signed the paper, passing it and the pen to Jooheon.

Jooheon took a deep breath before signing his name next to Changkyun’s. He pushed the contract and the pen back towards Hyunwoo. He didn’t want to look at it anymore.

Hyunwoo signed quickly and slid the paper back in the envelope. “I’ll keep this in my office and I’ll get you two a copy the next time I see you,” he said, standing up.

Jooheon didn’t register what Hyunwoo said, but nodded anyway. He felt stuck, literally and figuratively. He just signed a contract agreeing to all these terms so he could continue receiving money and any other help he needed from Hyunwoo. What had his life become?

That was it. The terms were set now, to expire whenever the boys saw fit. Hyunwoo wasn’t exactly disappointed with the outcome. He had gotten everything he wanted. He just wished it felt less like manipulation.

Jooheon pulled himself out of it when he realized Hyunwoo had stood up. “I’ll let you know how talking to Hyungwon goes,” he said.

“Oh, yes, please do,” Hyunwoo said agreeably as he slid his jacket on, “I’ll file your insurance papers tonight so it should go into effect next Monday.”

“I’ll get to an eye doctor as soon as possible,” Jooheon promised. He wasn’t quite looking forward to that either, but at least he would be able to get some better glasses.

Hyunwoo nodded, as pleased as he could be. He thanked the boys for dinner and took his leave.

The minute Hyunwoo left, Jooheon pushed himself up from the table. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” he announced. He ducked into his room to grab some fresh clothes and then headed into the bathroom. He really hated this whole contract, but he didn’t want to take his frustrations out on Changkyun.

Hyunwoo didn’t understand why he still felt so bad. He had gotten what he wanted, the boys had agreed to it willingly, so why did he still feel so horrible about the whole thing? Maybe he really wasn’t cut out for all of this.

Jooheon stayed in the shower long after he turned pruny. When he finally dragged himself out. He got changed and immediately went to lay in bed.

Changkyun finished cleaning the kitchen and went to find Jooheon in bed. “Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” he said, laying down next to his boyfriend.

Jooheon rolled over so he could tuck his head into Changkyun’s neck. “To be honest? No,” he admitted quietly, “I hate the idea of the contract. I have no desire to get any closer with this guy.  _ And _ I’m already thinking about everything that could go wrong at these events. But what can I do, Kyunie? The man is literally saving our lives, I can’t just say no. That’s...that’s not how this works.”

“If you don’t want to do it, then why did you agree to it?” Changkyun asked, “he said multiple times that he doesn’t want us to feel obligated to do anything. You know already that he’s not a creep leading us on with this stuff.”

“Well it’s too late now because I feel obligated,” Jooheon said miserably, “it’s fine. We agreed to it. I’ll contact him once a week like I promised and I’ll make it through these events.”

“We can cancel it at any time and that includes now, Heonie,” Changkyun said, “you know he would agree to it.”

“Of course he would, but we can’t afford that right now,” Jooheon said, “we’d end up right back where we were and I can’t let you go back to living like that.”

Changkyun sighed. It was no use trying to reason with Jooheon. His boyfriend was stubborn and it would take years before he realized that Hyunwoo wasn’t trying to screw them over.

Jooheon was glad that Changkyun dropped it. He wrapped an arm around his boyfriend and settled down to go to sleep. It was still early, but he was exhausted and a few extra hours couldn’t hurt.

Changkyun sighed and laid his head on Jooheon's chest. He would fix this. He had to.

The next day Jooheon texted Hyungwon as promised. He sent a simple message explaining that he was a music production major and that Hyunwoo mentioned he had experience producing and DJing and asked if it would be possible to meetup at any point in the upcoming weeks.

Hyungwon was still in bed when he received a text from Jooheon. His eyebrows raised as he read it. "Sure," he replied, "send me some demos."

Jooheon was surprised that Hyungwon responded so quickly. "Yeah, no problem," he replied. After getting the necessary email, Jooheon pulled up his email and sent Hyungwon a few of his favorite demos. He was a little nervous about what would happen if the older boy didn't like them, but there was nothing he could about that.

Hyungwon was pretty impressed as he listened through Jooheon's demos. They were really solid tracks. "I have a gig tomorrow night with a few friends," he texted once he was done listening, "you should come and perform some of these tracks."

Jooheon's eyes widened when he read Hyungwon's reply. Tomorrow? Tomorrow! He didn't know the first thing about DJing, but he was excited for the opportunity to meet some of Hyungwon's friends in the industry and stick his toes in the water and he told Hyungwon as such. "Hey, Kyunie," he called once he had sent the text, "are you free tomorrow night?"

"I should be," Changkyun called back, "why? Are we doing something?" 

Jooheon carried his phone down the hall and poked his head into his boyfriend's room. "I texted Hyungwon and he invited me to an event he's performing at tomorrow and I want you to come with me," he said.

"Yeah, that sounds fun," Changkyun said, "I haven't seen you perform before."

"I haven't performed before," Jooheon said, taking a seat on the bed, "the only people that have listened to my demos are my professors, you, and now Hyungwon." The more he thought about this, the more nervous he got, but there was no backing out now.

"I bet you'll do amazing, Heonie," Changkyun said, "you're gonna get a record deal or something and leave me in the dust."

"Don't say stuff like that," Jooheon said sadly, "I would never leave you in the dust." To further solidify his promise he wrapped himself around Changkyun so that the younger couldn't escape his grasp.

"I know, I know," Changkyun said, fighting a smile, "I'll be there tomorrow, I promise."

"Thanks, Kyunie," Jooheon whispered. He kissed his boyfriend's cheek before burying his face in his neck. 

"I can't wait to see you," Changkyun said, "you're gonna do so good."

Jooheon smiled against Changkyun's neck. That helped calm his nerves a little. By the time the following night rolled around they were back in full force. They arrived at the club early and went through a back door as instructed to try and find Hyungwon.

Hyungwon was doing a sound check for his set of tracks when Jooheon and Changkyun got there. When he spotted them, he beckoned them toward him and cut the music. "Glad you could make it," he said.

Jooheon took a moment to look around the club. It was pretty sizable and could definitely fit a decent number of people. "Thanks for having us," he said as they approached Hyungwon. He had his flash drive in his jacket pocket, but he wasn't even positive he would need it. 

"No problem at all," Hyungwon said, "I'm sure you recognize some of these guys. I'll introduce you to all of them later. What kind of tracks did you bring?"

Jooheon pulled the flashdrive out of his pocket and held it out to Hyungwon. "I brought the demos I sent you the other night and I made a couple of different mixes with some other tracks I had. You don't have to use all of them, but I figured I'd give you some options in case you don't like anything," he said.

"Nah, man, it's all up to you," Hyungwon said, "it's your set, not mine. Next time, you should bring some of the stuff off your Soundcloud. Your rap tracks are pretty lit. C'mon, I'll show you how the setup works." 

Jooheon didn't expect Hyungwon to have listened to the stuff on his Soundcloud; even Changkyun didn't really listen to his rap stuff. "Next time? Oh, uh, yeah, I can do that. I'm glad you like my rap tracks," he said awkwardly.

"You're really talented," Hyungwon said as he led Jooheon and Changkyun up behind the set and started showing Jooheon how everything worked.

"Thank you," Jooheon mumbled shyly. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face as Hyungwon explained everything, but was sure to pay close attention. It wasn't nearly as confusing as he was expecting, but there was still a lot to remember.

"I go first," Hyungwon explained as he stepped off of the stage, "I'll bring you up after me and you'll be in charge of announcing 3racha when you're done. Keep it to just three or four songs, alright?"

"Yeah that sounds good," Jooheon agreed easily. He decided to keep it to just three songs so that he would have something to use if Hyungwon really wanted him to come back. After clarifying his last minute questions, he excused himself to go talk to Changkyun.

Changkyun was staying out of the way, keeping to himself as he waited for Jooheon. He was excited for his boyfriend, but he could definitely be without the crowd of people that was starting to build. "You're gonna do awesome," he said when Jooheon came over to him, "just be confident and make them think you do this all the time, alright?"

"Thanks, babe," Jooheon said, "I don't think I could have done this if you weren't here." He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, more to comfort himself than anything.

Changkyun hummed and let himself hide in Jooheon's arms. Soon enough, the club was full and the lights dimmed down so that Hyungwon could take the stage. 

Jooheon stayed where he was while Hyungwon performed, shielding Changkyun from the crowd. When his name was announced, he regretfully loosened his arms. "I'll come find you right here the moment I'm done," he promised. He stole a quick kiss before making his way to the stage.

Once Hyungwon was off the stage, he made a beeline for Changkyun and guided him away from the crowd toward the bar. He could tell that the boy was incredibly uncomfortable here and thought it was adorable that he had showed up to support his best friend anyway.

Jooheon was nervous when he stepped up to the stage. Luckily he remembered everything Hyungwon had explained to him and got the first song playing without a hitch. While it played, he busied himself setting up the next two. 

Changkyun was glad to see the crowd enjoying themselves as Jooheon's music played. He knew Jooheon could be interacting with them a little more, but as far as a first show went, it was pretty flawless.

Once Jooheon had played his three songs, he announced 3racha and hopped off the stage. He panicked when he couldn't find Changkyun where he promised to meet him, but he quickly found his boyfriend by the bar with Hyungwon. Slowly but surely, he made this way through the crowd and over to the pair.

"You did so good!" Changkyun cried, hugging Jooheon tightly, "I'm so proud of you!"

Jooheon took a step back when Changkyun collided into him and immediately wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "Thanks, Kyunie," he said happily, "I'm glad you liked it." He was still buzzing with adrenaline and couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"That was really great," Hyungwon said, impressed. He turned around to signal the bartender and order them all a round of celebratory drinks.

Jooheon mumbled a shy "thanks" and kept his tight hold on Changkyun. He couldn't think of the last time he had had a drink, and he certainly wasn't going to refuse one now.

Changkyun accepted the drink easily. "Thank you so much for letting him do this," he said to Hyungwon.

Jooheon finally surrendered his hold on Changkyun to take his drink, but he kept one arm wrapped securely around his boyfriend's waist. "Yeah, thank you so much. This was actually a lot of fun. I didn't think I'd ever have the opportunity to perform my music," Jooheon added.

"Of course," Hyungwon said, "let me introduce you to everyone first before you really thank me, though."

"Oh yeah, that'd be great," Jooheon said. He guided Changkyun in front of him and followed Hyungwon back towards the stage. He took a careful sip of his drink and although he had no idea what it was, it tasted delicious.

Changkyun kept a hand on Jooheon as he followed Hyungwon through the crowd to the backstage area. 3racha had just finished their set and another DJ named Johnny was taking the stage now, so it wasn't too crowded backstage. 

The noise of the music and the crowd dampened considerably when the door closed behind them. Jooheon wasn’t a fan of big crowds, and Changkyun even less so, so the backstage area was much better for them.

Hyungwon took Jooheon around, introducing him to the members of 3racha, as well as a few other producers that were hanging out. They all had just compliments for him.

Jooheon followed Hyungwon around like a lost puppy. He didn't really get many words in other than some thank you's but he was soaking up the attention. After he gave his number to one of the producers, he all but bounced his way back over to Changkyun. He was really glad that Hyunwoo had suggested talking to Hyungwon and made a mental note to text the older man about it later.

"Making good connections?" Changkyun asked, leaning on Jooheon's shoulder. Even though there weren't a ton of people backstage, it was still hot and he was starting to get tired.

"I hope so," Jooheon said, taking another sip of his drink, "I gave my number to one of the producer's and the other guys that performed are really friendly." He didn't want to get his hopes up too much so he kept his mind focused on how well the performance went. He shifted his weight on his feet ever so slightly so that Changkyun would be more comfortable leaning against him. "We'll get going soon I promise," he whispered.

"I'm fine," Changkyun said honestly, "it's just kinda stuffy. You know the heat always makes me tired."

Jooheon nodded. "If you need some fresh air let me know and we can step outside for a minute," he said. It was freezing outside, but even just a couple minutes would cool them both off. "The guys that performed after me, 3racha, they're closer to your age. They're all really friendly and I can introduce you if you want," he said. He knew Changkyun wouldn't really be up to interacting with any new people tonight, but he wanted to put the offer on the table.

"Yeah, I would like that," Changkyun said. He was feeling better lately and wouldn't mind making a few new friends.

Jooheon smiled happily and lead Changkyun over to where the boys were standing. "Kyunie, this is Chan, Changbin, and Jisung. Jisung's a senior in high school, but Changbin and Chan are freshman," he said pointing out each boy, "this is my boyfriend, Changkyun and he's a freshman too so I wanted to introduce you." 

Changkyun smiled and introduced himself. They fell into conversation pretty easily and, by the time they left, he had all three of their numbers in his phone.

Jooheon was thrilled that Changkyun got along with the boys. That meant that he would have some friends to spend the rest of his college career with. "Kyunie, you can hop in the shower first," he said when they got home. He knew Changkyun was exhausted and he could work on his laptop in the meantime.

Normally, Changkyun wouldn't shower two days in a row, but he had accidentally gotten a beer spilled on him, so he definitely needed it. He took his time, making sure he actually felt clean before returning to his boyfriend.

After Jooheon took a shower he and Changkyun tumbled into bed together and fell asleep almost immediately. 


	13. Chapter 13

The next few days went just as smoothly as the weekend had. Jooheon was actually able to get an appointment with an eye doctor one afternoon after his classes and that was where he currently found himself.

While Jooheon was at his eye appointment, Changkyun had scheduled an appointment with his old psychiatrist. He didn't want to tell his boyfriend that he was going back on medication until he was sure that it was worth it, largely because he didn't want to deal with Jooheon's "I told you so"s.

Jooheon was given the option to get contact lenses, but he opted for staying with glasses for now. He didn’t want to deal with the hassle of practicing during the semester. He picked out some new frames, they were simple, all black, but a nice change up pace from his old ones.

The psychiatrist agreed that it was a good idea to put Changkyun back on his old medication to start with, but that he would likely need a few adjustments before finding something that worked. He hurried to get the prescription filled, knowing Jooheon would be home soon.

“Kyunie, I’m home,” Jooheon called when he walked in the door. He was so excited to show his boyfriend his new glasses. He didn’t realize how bad his other ones really were until now.

"I'll be there in a second!" Changkyun called. He quickly popped one of the pills, swallowing it dry and stashing the bottle in a tee-shirt at the bottom of his backpack. "How did it go?" he asked as he walked out.

"Good," Jooheon replied happily, "I didn't realize my old glasses were really that bad, but what do you think?" He was more worried about his boyfriend's opinion on his glasses than anything.

"They're cute!" Changkyun said, "they look good on you."

Jooheon smiled widely. "Thanks, Kyunie. How was your day?" he asked. He set his wallet and keys on the counter before walking over to his boyfriend.

"It was good," Changkyun said, "I went to Starbucks for a bit and got my homework done."

"So that means you have plenty of time to cuddle with me, right?" Jooheon asked with a pleading pout. He didn't have anything due tomorrow so the only thing he wanted to do was spend time with his boyfriend.

"Of course," Changkyun said, giving into Jooheon's whining easily. It wasn't a lie; he had in fact gotten his homework done, so he was free to do whatever Jooheon wanted.

Jooheon beamed and pulled Changkyun towards his bedroom. He put his new glasses on the nightstand, not wanting to risk anything happening to them. He crawled into bed and all but dragged Changkyun down with him.

Changkyun grunted as he landed on the bed. “You’re a little eager,” he said, “you miss me or something?”

"A little," Jooheon mumbled as he pulled Changkyun closer, "did you miss me?"

“A little,” Changkyun repeated. He let his head settle in the crook of Jooheon’s neck.

Jooheon sighed softly. It was moments like these he wanted to live in forever. He wished their lives had also been like this, but he was grateful they were no longer stuck in the ugly cycle of living day by day and paycheck to paycheck. "Hey, you know how much I care about you right?" he asked suddenly.

“Of course,” Changkyun said quietly, “you care so much that it's literally unhealthy, Jooheon-ah.”

Jooheon was a little taken aback. "Unhealthy? I don't really think I care an unhealthy amount," he said slowly. 

“Don’t think I don’t know about everything you’ve ever sacrificed for me,” Changkyun said, “sometimes, literally your health.”

"I've just done my best to keep the promise I made you," Jooheon mumbled. He really didn't want to argue about this, but he had to admit Changkyun was being a little dramatic about this whole thing.

“I’m not saying it’s bad, Heonie,” Changkyun said softly, “I just wish I did a little better to reciprocate.”

"You've done more than enough," Kyunie," Jooheon said quickly, "you've stuck with me when no one else has. I really couldn't ask for anything more."

“I haven’t sacrificed nearly as much as you have,” Changkyun said, “and I know it’s not a competition, but I feel guilty sometimes.”

"You've sacrificed a lot just by virtue of staying with me. You suffered through hell with me and I don't want you to have to make a sacrifice like that again," Jooheon said softly.

“You’re not some sort of burden to me,” Changkyun said, voice tinged with sadness, “I’m not losing anything or suffering in any way by staying with you.”

Jooheon knew this conversation was going nowhere good fast. "I just don't want you to feel guilty. You've done more for me than anyone else and I'm so incredibly grateful for it all," he said.

Changkyun rolled around to lay more on his stomach. “I just wish you thought more highly of yourself,” he said, as if he had any ground to stand on.

"I could say the same for you," Jooheon said gently, "but let's not dwell on this, hm? Let's just enjoy the moment we have together."

Changkyun hummed. “I miss you whenever you’re not here,” he said honestly, jumping back to Jooheon’s original question.

Jooheon smiled softly. "I miss you whenever you're not here too," he whispered. To be honest, he wasn't home alone all that often, but when he was it really was very lonely in the apartment.

Changkyun leaned up to kiss Jooheon softly before settling down to finally take a nap. They were together now and that was all that mattered.

Jooheon happily dozed with his boyfriend securely wrapped in his arms. The rest of their evening went a lot better and before they knew it they were off to classes the next morning. When Jooheon was done for the day he texted Hyunwoo for the week explaining how his eye doctor appointment went and that he talked to Hyungwon and was able to perform some of his tracks over the past weekend. He got a little carried away and the message ended up a bit longer than he wanted it to, but he sent it anyway. 

Hyunwoo was surprised when he received a long message from Jooheon. He had expected it from Changkyun, but he expected Jooheon to send a single sentence noting that he was alive and nothing else. It was also nice to see that it was all good things as well. He sent back some praise and a word of thanks.

For some reason the praise from Hyunwoo actually meant quite a lot to Jooheon. Maybe it was the fact that the older man actually seemed interested in what he had to say rather than brushing him off. He thanked Hyunwoo for suggesting he contacted Hyungwon and promised to update him if he performed again. Satisfied, he slipped his phone into his pocket and went to the studio to meet with his project partner.

“Let me know where, if it’s a weekend, I might stop by,” Hyunwoo sent before he could stop himself.

Jooheon was shocked Hyunwoo offered to come. He didn’t think a club was somewhere Hyunwoo would enjoy being and he especially didn’t think he would like his music. “Uh, yeah, I can. It’ll probably be at another club so please don’t feel obligated to come,” he replied. He didn’t want to make it seem like he didn’t want Hyunwoo to come, but he didn’t want the older man to be miserable or disappointed.

“I haven’t been to a club in a while, it should be fun,” Hyunwoo sent back, smiling to himself. It had been a while since he’d been to one of Hyungwon’s gigs and a night off was really what he needed right about now.

Jooheon was a little nervous that Hyunwoo was insisting on coming, but he certainly wasn't going to stop him. "I'll let you know the next time I'll be performing," he responded. At that point, he slipped his phone into his bag and focused on his project.

Hyunwoo smiled and set his phone aside. He was glad that Jooheon was finally opening up a bit, both to him and just as a person. He couldn’t wait to hear his music.

Jooheon's project partner was probably the best producer in the whole class which was a blessing and a curse. Luckily they were extremely productive and probably only had to meet a couple more times. Feeling pretty good about his day, Jooheon headed home to Changkyun.

Changkyun had gotten home from class and decided to take a nap. He wasn’t feeling particularly bad; he had just finished all of his work and he would rather be asleep than bored.

Changkyun didn't respond when Jooheon called out that he was home so he went to look for his boyfriend. He found him asleep in bed and decided to go lay with him. After putting his backpack in his room and getting changed, he carefully climbed into Changkyun's bed and laid down next to him. He hoped his boyfriend didn't have a bad day.

Changkyun stirred awake when Jooheon laid down with him. “Hey,” he mumbled, shifting to accommodate his boyfriend, “how did it go?”

"It went pretty good," Jooheon replied quietly. He felt bad that he woke Changkyun up and he hoped the younger boy would be able to fall back asleep quickly. "The guy I'm working with is incredible so it's coming along nicely. Get some more sleep now though. I'm sorry I bothered you."

“No, I should probably get up anyway,” Changkyun groaned, rubbing his eyes as he twisted to look at the clock, “unless you need a nap too because I have nothing else to do.”

Jooheon shook his head. "I'm not tired, but I am getting hungry," he said, "oh, I, uh, talked to Hyunwoo earlier and he wants to come watch next time I perform. I warned him it would be at a club and everything and he still insisted on going."

“Yeah, he’s not a machine,” Changkyun mumbled, “you don’t know what his taste in music is. I mean, he seems pretty knowledgeable about what Hyungwon does.”

"Yeah, that is true," Jooheon said, "but what if he doesn't like my stuff? I would hate for him to waste time coming all the way out. I guess if Hyungwon's there too it would be worth it for him." He didn't realize he was rambling.

“Heonie,” Changkyun said, cutting his boyfriend off, “I doubt he would come out if he didn’t think it was going to be good, and I bet he’ll definitely talk to Hyungwon first.”

"You're right. I don't even know why I'm so worried," Jooheon said. He rolled himself over so he practically laying on top of Changkyun.

Changkyun groaned when Jooheon rolled on top of him. “Your knee is obliterating my dick,” he wheezed, “Jooheon!”

"Sorry, Kyunie," Jooheon mumbled apologetically. He shifted himself over so he wasn't hurting Changkyun anymore.

Changkyun exhaled with a groan when Jooheon’s knee shifted away from his nether regions. “God, you suck,” he whined.

Jooheon pouted. "Fine, I'll just go so I don't bother you anymore," he said. He rolled away from Changkyun slowly, wondering if his boyfriend would stop him from leaving.

Changkyun quickly wrapped his arms around Jooheon’s middle, preventing his boyfriend from leaving. “No,” he said indignantly.

Jooheon chuckled and easily settled back against Changkyun. “Guess I’m not so bad after all, hm?” he teased.

Changkyun huffed and reached up to pinch Jooheon’s nipple in retaliation. “Trying to leave me,” he grumbled, “no. Not allowed.”

Jooheon whined loudly. “That’s not fair,” he grumbled.

“How?” Changkyun asked. “How is that unfair?”

“I hurt you by accident, there was no need to involve my nipples in this matter,” he whined. He turned his head so that Changkyun could see him pouting. 

“No, I pinched you for trying to leave,” Changkyun said, “my dick has already forgiven you.”

“Has it now?” Jooheon asked with a raised eyebrow, “well my nipple hasn’t forgiven you. And it still hurts. I think you need to kiss it better.” He pouted more and watched Changkyun closely. 

“There, there,” Changkyun said, patting Jooheon’s chest lightly.

Jooheon rolled his eyes and leaned over to steal a kiss. After cuddling for a little bit longer, they got out of bed to make some dinner. A few days later Jooheon made arrangements with Hyungwon to perform again and texted Hyunwoo the information accordingly.

When Friday rolled around, Hyunwoo made sure he was out of the office early enough to go home and change for the gig. He got to the club about half an hour before the show was scheduled to start and looked around for someone he recognized.

Jooheon stepped back into the club when Hyungwon took the stage. It was hard to miss Hyunwoo standing against the back wall, so he took a deep breath and started making his way over. He wasn't sure why he was surprised Hyunwoo kept his promise about coming, but he quickly forgot about that as he pushed his way through the crowd.

Hyunwoo leaned against the back wall, hands stuffed in his pockets. Despite the chill outside, he had known it would be hot in the club, so he wore a simple black button down with jeans.

Jooheon finally made his way through the crowd and over to Hyunwoo. "Hi," he greeted awkwardly, "I'm, uh, I'm glad you made it down." He couldn't help his eyes from roaming over the seemingly simple outfit Hyunwoo had worn. 

“Oh, hey!” Hyunwoo said, face breaking into a smile, “Yeah, no problem, I’m excited! Hyungwonnie says you’re really good.”

“N-No, I’m really not that good yet,” Jooheon stuttered. Hyunwoo’s excitement just made him that much more nervous. He really couldn’t afford to disappoint the older man.

Hyunwoo could tell that Jooheon was pretty anxious. He didn’t get the chance to say anything else before the lights dimmed and Hyungwon stepped on stage.

Jooheon slipped into the spot next to Hyunwoo while Hyungwon performed. When his name was called, he stepped off of the wall and weaved his way through the crowd and up to the stage. He had put a new mix of his demos together and was going to play one of his Soundcloud tracks. Here went absolutely nothing.

Hyunwoo was, as always, impressed with Hyungwon’s set. The boy was a talented producer and could have a career with it if he weren’t so set on becoming an author. When Jooheon’s name was announced, he whooped supportively.

Jooheon could have sworn he heard Hyunwoo yelling behind him, but he wasn’t positive. His first few songs went off without a hitch and the only thing left was his rap track. His eyes scanned the crowd nervously for their reaction as it began to play.

Hyunwoo was really impressed with everything Jooheon played, especially the last track. The boy was clearly very talented and he felt proud.

Jooheon heaved a sigh of relief when his song was over, announced the next group, and hopped down from the stage. He was shaking with excitement. The crowd really seemed to enjoy his set and the only one left to get feedback from was Hyunwoo so that was where he headed.

Hyunwoo stood up straight when he saw Jooheon approaching. “They was great!” he said when the boy got within earshot, “Hyungwonnie was right, you’re incredibly talented.”

Jooheon was nervous as he approached Hyunwoo, but he immediately broke into a wide smile when heard Hyunwoo’s praises. “Thanks, hyung,” he said happily, “Kyunie’s backstage if you want to go see him.”

Hyunwoo motioned for Jooheon to lead the way and followed him backstage to find Changkyun and Hyungwon talking with a few boys that he vaguely recognized from the last show he'd gone to.

Jooheon wrapped his arms around Changkyun and rested his head on his shoulder. “What did you think?” he asked.

"It was so good," Changkyun said, turning around to face Jooheon. He smiled and waved when he saw Hyunwoo behind his boyfriend. "Did you enjoy it, hyung?"

Jooheon's smile widened. He would have loved to stay wrapped around Changkyun, but instead he stepped to the side. He already knew what Hyunwoo's response would be, but he looked at the older man expectantly anyway.

"It was great," Hyunwoo said, "your set was good too, Hyungwonnie, as always."

Jooheon nodded in agreement. "Do you want a drink?" he whispered to Changkyun. It was still early and he wanted to have a little fun before they went home.

Changkyun nodded. "Yeah, why don't we go grab a booth while the show is finishing up?" he suggested, looking around at the group. Everyone agreed and they all made their way back out into the crowd, heading for the bar area. "First round of drinks is on me," Hyunwoo said as they all sat down.

Soon enough they each had a drink and were talking and laughing amongst themselves. Jooheon was glad that Changkyun seemed to be having a good time and was getting along so well with everyone, especially the 3racha boys.

Changkyun made sure to pace himself with the drinks. It had been long enough since he'd taken his medication that he was okay to drink, but he still wanted to be careful. Jooheon, on the other hand, was drinking anything he was handed.

Jooheon slung his arm around Changkyun's shoulders and leaned against his boyfriend. He was listening to a story Hyungwon was telling about his music theory professor. The guy really was a dick to everyone he encountered. "If he pulls that shit with me this semester I'll knock him on his ass," he grumbled. 

Changkyun patted Jooheon's chest consolingly. "If you fight your professor, you won't pass the class," he reminded him.

"He can't fail me! I'm one of his best students," Jooheon said defiantly. He took another sip of his drink, which was already half empty. 

"He can fail you if you assault him," Changkyun said patiently, "he can have you kicked out and arrested actually."

"He should be kicked out and fired for being a dick to his students," Jooheon said grumpily. He slumped against Changkyun as the conversation switched to everyone else complaining about different professors they had.

"Maybe have a little water," Changkyun said, passing his own glass of water to Jooheon, "and quit thinking about your professor."

"I don't need water," Jooheon said. He pushed the glass away forcefully, causing it to spill. Luckily it wasn’t much so it was cleaned up with a few napkins.

"Drink your water or we're going home," Changkyun said sternly, pushing the glass back toward his boyfriend.

Jooheon frowned but took the glass anyway. He downed the rest of the water in one go and slammed the glass on the table.

"Jesus Christ, you're a mess," Changkyun mumbled, "no slamming. Slamming means breaking and breaking means glass shards in your hand." Taking care of drunk Jooheon was like taking care of a baby.

"Lighten up, Kyunie, it's not gonna break," Jooheon said dismissively, "see?" He picked up the glass and held it towards his boyfriend for proof. "Since when did you become my mother anyways?"

"Since you had three beers in the last hour, dummy," Changkyun said, shaking his head. "I'm going to the bathroom. I swear to god, Jooheon, if I come back and you're gone, you're sleeping on the couch for a week."

"You love me too much to make me sleep on the couch," Jooheon pointed out. He got up to let Changkyun out and immediately collapsed back into the booth, sliding into the spot next to Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo had been nursing one beer for the past hour, simply watching the others. They were all at least some measure of tipsy, except Jisung, who was underage, and Hyunwoo figured he should take it on himself to make sure they didn't go too far.

"Hyung, you drink really slow," Jooheon commented when he noticed Hyunwoo was still on his first drink. Sometimes he forgot how much older Hyunwoo really was compared to the rest of them.

"I don't want to get drunk," Hyunwoo said simply, "you should have more water, Jooheon-ah."

"Not you too!" Jooheon whined, "I'm fine." He slid a little ways away from Hyunwoo, taking another sip of his drink as he went. He was sure to leave enough room for Changkyun to fit when he got back.

Hyunwoo merely rolled his eyes. When Jooheon was looking away, seemingly watching for Changkyun, he carefully switched the boy's glass out for some water, knowing that his drunk eyes would never notice.

When Jooheon saw Changkyun making his way back towards the table he turned around to take another sip of his drink. He quickly realized it was just water and looked around the table for where his actual drink went, but it was gone. “Who took my drink?” he asked loudly, glaring suspiciously at Hyunwoo.

"I didn't touch a single thing," Hyunwoo said innocently, taking a sip of his own drink. In the crowd, Changkyun got sidetracked by Jisung and Chan dragging him to dance.

Jooheon pouted. “Then where did it go?” he whined. He sat back in the booth with a huff and crossed his arms in protest.

"You probably finished it," Hyunwoo said with a shrug. He wasn't going to stop Jooheon from getting another drink, but he felt better now that the boy had some water in him.

Jooheon stared at the glass of water, almost expecting it to magically turn back into his drink. When nothing happened, he turned his attention back towards Hyunwoo. “I’m really glad you liked my stuff, hyung. I haven’t really shown my music to a lot of people before now so it’s cool to know that people actually like it,” he said.

"I'm glad you're able to do something that you really enjoy," Hyunwoo said, shifting in his seat to turn his attention fully onto Jooheon.

Jooheon smiled softly and dropped his eyes to his lap. “It’s weird to see that people like my stuff, to be honest. I never really showed anything to people other than my professors and Changkyun so I never had a good gauge as to how good it actually is. I mean sure I’ve gotten feedback from professors, but that doesn’t really mean much when he comes to music,” he rambled.

“Your professors are the experts,” Hyunwoo said, “you just need to be more confident in your music. It’s really good.”

"Thanks, hyung, that means a lot. Not gonna lie I didn't think you would really be up for coming here. This doesn't really seem like it's your scene and I honestly didn't think you would like this type of music," he said. He finally gave up on his boycott and reached out for the glass of water.

"I don't have a particular preference for music," Hyunwoo said with a small smile, "mostly, I just like good company."

"You think a bunch of drunk, rowdy teenagers is good company?" Jooheon asked with a raised eyebrow, "jeez, hyung, you really are crazy. And just because I'm drinking this water doesn't mean I've forgiven you for stealing my drink." 

"I did no such thing," Hyunwoo said, smiling wider, "you know, I'm not really that much older than you."

Jooheon was very tempted to stick out his tongue, but the sliver of his sober brain that remained decided against it. "Oh really? How old are you then?" he asked, turning back to look at Hyunwoo.

"I'll be thirty in June of this year," Hyunwoo said. He knew it was still a good decade older than the boys, but it wasn't that old really, especially when he had graduated college late.

Jooheon whistled lowly. "Are you sure I should be calling you hyung and not ahjussi?" he teased. He scooted a little further away to avoid any repercussions. 

Hyunwoo wrinkled his nose. "I'm not even ten years older than you," he said, "and you don't even call me hyung!"

Jooheon giggled, pleased with Hyunwoo's reaction. "I do now," he countered. 

"I'll believe it when I hear it," Hyunwoo said, shaking his head. 

"I've been calling you hyung all night!" Jooheon said, "have you not been listening to me at all?" His tone had taken on an air of offense, but his smile gave him away as completely uncaring. Come to think of it, he really hadn't started addressing Hyunwoo as "hyung" until tonight and he didn't really know where it came from. 

"I have, Jooheonnie, I promise," Hyunwoo assured him, "if I hear it after tonight, then I'll be impressed."

"Prepare to be impressed then," Jooheon said smugly, "you know I would invite you to come out more, but since you have a habit of snagging drinks that aren't yours that might not work out." He was starting to sober up and his drink still hadn't turned back up.

"I did no such thing," Hyunwoo said obstinately, "but if you're so drunk that you don't even remember finishing your drink, maybe you should stop drinking."

"I'm not drunk and I didn't finish it!" Jooheon said. Or did he? Now he wasn't too sure if he had finished his drink or not. With a pout he took another sip of water. "I'm going to the bathroom," he announced. He slid over to the edge of the booth and had to pause for a moment when he stood up so he didn't topple over. A little wobbly on his feet, he slowly made his way through the crowd towards the bathroom. Maybe he was a little bit drunk.

Hyunwoo was left alone to nurse his own drink. It was nice to spend time with the boys outside of the normal context of their arrangement. Jooheon was really a great kid once he opened up a bit.

On his way back from the bathroom, Jooheon spotted Changkyun. He made his way over to his boyfriend and threw his arm around his shoulder. "Come sit with me," he slurred, dragging his boyfriend back towards the table, "Hyunwoo really isn't all that bad of a guy. He's nice and supportive and I actually think he means well. Oh! And he's not nearly as old as I thought he was, which doesn't matter, but it's good to know. I'm surprised he's actually enjoying being here though." He didn't realize they had reached the table until he accidentally bumped into it. "Look who I found!" he announced.

Hyunwoo didn't mean to eavesdrop on Jooheon and Changkyun's conversation, but it was kind of hard not to. Jooheon was just so loud. He was glad that he was finally getting through to the boy though. That was a good feeling.

"Kyunie, when are we going home? I'm getting tired," Jooheon whined. He practically dragged Changkyun to sit down next to him and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Changkyun patted Jooheon's shoulder supportively and reached across the table to snag the older boy's abandoned drink, which was sitting in plain sight. "We can go home soon, don't worry," he said as he sipped at the watered down drink.

Jooheon pouted against Changkyun's shoulder. He looked up just in time to catch his boyfriend sipping a drink that looked vaguely familiar. "Hey, that's mine!" he shouted sitting bolt upright and reaching for his drink.

Changkyun couldn't stop himself from snorting and nearly spat the drink all over poor  Hyunwoo. "Yeah, it is and I'm finishing it," he said, "drunk ass."

"I'm not drunk! Give me that," Jooheon demanded. He swiped at the drink, but was much too slow to properly grab hold of it.

"Nuh uh, it's mine now," Changkyun said childishly. He knocked back the rest of the drink in one go, a move that he regretted instantly.

Jooheon watched in disbelief as his boyfriend finished his drink before his eyes. "You owe me another one," he grumbled.

"Nuh uh, mister, we're going home," Changkyun said, pushing Jooheon to get out of the booth.

"You should be nicer to me," Jooheon said, still obediently climbing out of the booth, "I am older than you after all."

"And you're drunker than me so shush," Changkyun said. He whirled back around, nearly tipping over in his haste to face Hyunwoo and thank him for coming.

Jooheon barely managed to hang on to Changkyun, almost losing his balance in the process. "Are you sure about that?" he chided.

"Yes," Changkyun said, "now be nice and thank hyung for coming to your show." He pulled Jooheon in front of him.

"Thanks for coming, hyung," Jooheon said politely, "I'm really glad you had fun and we should do this again sometime." He didn't really know what he was saying, but he didn't regret it in the slightest. Not yet at least.

"Of course," Hyunwoo said, standing up as well. Hyungwon had long since disappeared, so he had no other reason to stick around. 

Jooheon linked his arm with Changkyun and half guided, half stumbled his way backstage so they could grab their jackets. He froze when he felt his keys in his pocket bang against his side as he put his jacket on. "Kyunie...I don't think I should drive home," he said quietly.

"'Course not, stupid," Changkyun mumbled, "we'll get a cab." Like he would ever let Jooheon drive in this state.

Jooheon turned his head down. "You call it," he mumbled. He stuck his hands in his pocket and scuffed his foot on the ground. 

"We gotta go outside, I bet there's a ton there already," Changkyun said, tugging on Jooheon's arm. He dragged the older boy outside and, sure enough, there were cabs lined up at the curb.

Jooheon threaded his and Changkyun's fingers together and didn't let go until they got home. "I'm gonna go take a shower," he said. Quite frankly he was exhausted and it was starting to hit him how much he was going to regret tonight when he woke up in the morning.

"Imma be in bed," Changkyun mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. Now that sobriety was starting to set in, he was just feeling bad. Normally, he would shower with Jooheon, but not tonight.

Jooheon was a little disappointed Changkyun didn't want to join him, but he didn't push it. Instead, he showered quickly and went to join his boyfriend in bed. "I hope you had fun tonight," he mumbled.

"I always have fun with you," Changkyun said. He rolled over and buried his face in Jooheon's neck.

Jooheon smiled and wrapped his arms around Changkyun. His mind was still buzzing, but he was exhausted and didn't have any trouble falling asleep. Waking up the next morning, however, was a completely different story.


	14. Chapter 14

Jooheon threw the covers over his and Changkyun's heads, trying to block out the light that was streaming through the window.

"Oh my god," Changkyun groaned, "why does everything hurt?" He whined and tried to hide himself in Jooheon's chest, but even that much movement caused his entire body to ache.

"That's called a hangover, babe," Jooheon said, "I'll get us some water when I'm brave enough to take these covers off." His own head was pounding and he had absolutely no desire to go anywhere. 

“I didn’t even drink that much,” Changkyun complained, “it was probably your stupid drink that did me in.”

"That's what you get for stealing my drink when I asked for it back," Jooheon said. He was starting to put the pieces together of what happened last night, which wasn't much considering he talked to Hyunwoo most of the time. He talked to Hyunwoo? For most of the night? Jooheon was wracking his brain trying to remember exactly what he and the older man talked about, but he was coming up empty.

“Stop getting your drinks so strong,” Changkyun mumbled, “you know this always happens.” It was true. Changkyun would always start himself with something light that he’d sip for a while and always end up finishing off what drink Jooheon abandoned and wake up with a hangover.

Jooheon chuckled quietly. "One day you'll finally learn to not take things that aren't yours," he said. He reached over to gently bop Changkyun on the nose. They were still under the covers, happily shielded from the light of the late morning sun.

Changkyun groaned in pain. Even the tiny touch had his head exploding. “Accommodate me,” he whined.

"Accommodate you?" Jooheon asked, "you're an adult, Kyunie, I don't think I should have to worry about accommodating you when I'm ordering a drink." He rubbed his boyfriend's back soothingly. Poor Changkyun had a long day ahead of him, good thing it was a Saturday.

“Yeah, but I’m your boyfriend,” Changkyun whined, “I’m special.”

Jooheon chuckled again. "I'll keep that in mind next time we go out," he promised. He sat there silently for a few minutes, trying to put more pieces of the previous night together, but it wasn't working. "Hey, Kyunie, do you happen to know what Hyunwoo and I were talking about last night?"

"You two talked?" Changkyun asked, "I'm proud." He racked his brain, but all he could remember was dancing with Jisung.

"Oh no," Jooheon whined, "I just know I spent most of the night sitting at the table with him. Shit...I could have said anything to him!" Now he was nervous again. He didn't remember the night ending off on a bad note so he couldn't have said anything that bad. Right?

"Ask him," Changkyun mumbled, "all I did was dance, I dunno. Did you know Jisung can twerk?"

"I can't ask him. That's so embarrassing," Jooheon said, "no, I did not know that about Jisung and quite frankly I didn't need to. Oh my God, Changkyun, please tell me he didn't teach you how to twerk because if he did I will wring both of your necks. 

"I already know how to twerk, stupid," Changkyun mumbled, "and I have a better ass than he does anyway."

Jooheon rubbed his face tiredly with his free hand. "You're right, babe," he mumbled. He couldn't help the smile that slipped onto his face; Changkyun really was something else.

"Your ass is better though," Changkyun said, a little sadly. Jooheon was so hot and Changkyun was so...not.

"Oh, Kyunie," Jooheon murmured. He didn't miss the twinge of sadness in his boyfriend's voice and he knew exactly what he was thinking. "We both have nicer asses than anyone who was in that club last night."

"You're too hot for me," Changkyun mumbled, "you're so fucking hot, Heonie."

"No, no, no, don't say stuff like that, Kyunie. You know it's not true," Jooheon begged. He hated how self-conscious Changkyun was and he should have known this was coming after the night they had. 

"Can't stop me," Changkyun said childishly, "you know I don't like to lie."

"Then don't say I'm too hot for you because it's not true," Jooheon said quietly. He didn't mind the compliments, in fact he loved when Changkyun fawned over him, but he didn't like that it almost always came with his boyfriend putting himself down at the same time. 

"But you're so hot, Heonie," Changkyun said, "and I'm just so plain."

Jooheon sighed sadly. He knew he should compliment Changkyun more often to help his boyfriend be more confident in himself, but he was never good with words when it came to stuff like this. "I don't think you're plain at all," he said truthfully, "I think you're absolutely gorgeous and that's all that matters."

"Don't say that," Changkyun said miserably, "it just makes me feel worse about it."

"But if you can compliment me, then I want to compliment you," Jooheon said. He chewed on his lip nervously; he really didn't want to make this worse than it already was.

"Yeah, but none of them are true," Changkyun said, "I'd really rather you just told me the truth."

"I would never lie to you, Kyunie, especially not about something like this," Jooheon said. He was a little hurt that Changkyun didn't believe him, but he knew that was just his insecurities talking. "I know you think you're helping when you give me compliments, but it just makes me feel worse than I already normally do," Changkyun said honestly.

"Oh, Kyunie, I'm sorry," Jooheon said, "I just want you to love and appreciate yourself as much as I do." He sighed sadly; he really wasn't nearly as good of a boyfriend as he should be. He was also starting to get hot under the covers and debated risking sticking his head out.

"I know," Changkyun said with a sigh, "it's just not realistic. I've never felt good about my appearance and I'm not likely to start now. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Jooheon said soothingly, "I'm just going to have to love and appreciate you enough for the both of us."

"You can try," Changkyun mumbled, "but it's going to take more effort than I'm worth."

Jooheon felt his chest tighten. "I would give anything for you to see just how beautiful and amazing you really are," he said, voice thick.

"I could spend days talking about how amazing and incredible you are," Changkyun said, "but I don't think I'll ever see the same in myself. All I ever see is the bad."

"I'll help you see all the good things. It'll take a while and you have to trust me, but I promise we'll get you there one day," Jooheon said. He wondered if this could help him convince Changkyun to get back on his medication. Obviously, he had no plans to bring it up now, but he would keep it in mind.

Changkyun sighed and shifted himself to press a kiss to Jooheon's cheek. "I love you," he mumbled.

Jooheon smiled softly and turned his head so he could look at Changkyun. "I love you too," he whispered. He hadn't said it aloud before, but he had thought it plenty of times. He really and truly was in love with Changkyun and the only thing he wanted in life was to see the younger boy be happy.

"I'm gonna go shower," Changkyun said finally. Hopefully he'd be able to sneak in his pill without Jooheon noticing.

"Alright. I'll get up and make us something to eat when you get out," Jooheon said. He pulled back the covers and groaned quietly as the light streaming into the room hit his eyes. He immediately squeezed his eyes shut and rolled over to hit his face in his pillow.

"No, you just stay here, I'll just order us chicken," Changkyun said, "I'll be back in a bit."

"Thanks, babe," Jooheon said, voice muffled by his pillow. Ordering food was a much better idea than trying to navigate his way around the kitchen to make them something. With a soft sigh he settled down comfortably and tried to get a few more minutes of shut eye.

Changkyun snagged his bottle out of his bag as he left the room and snuck them into the bathroom. He took one as he started the water and showered as quickly as he could. Not wanting to worry about it, he shoved the pill bottle behind the spare toilet paper for the time being and returned to his boyfriend.

Jooheon picked his head up and rolled onto his side when Changkyun came back. “How was your shower?” he asked, opening his arms for his boyfriend.

“Good,” Changkyun said, reaching for his phone, “I feel alive now.”

Jooheon chuckled. “I’m glad. Now come lay with me. We have a whole day to waste,” he said with a pleading pout.

Changkyun hummed and rolled back into bed, wrapping himself around Jooheon tightly. “I love you,” he said again.

"Easy, Kyunie, you're gonna break me," Jooheon groaned. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held him close regardless. It was the moments like these that Jooheon wished he could live in forever. He pressed a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's forehead and whispered another "I love you too."

“We should get something to eat,” Changkyun said after a minute, “still wanna order chicken?”

“Yeah that sounds good. But you’re gonna have to do it ‘cause I can’t exactly move right now,” Jooheon said. He didn’t mind being crushed by Changkyun, but it rendered him almost entirely incapacitated.

Changkyun grabbed his phone from the nightstand and quickly ordered the chicken. When he was done, he hid his face in Jooheon’s chest, trying to abate his headache.

Jooheon chuckled softly as Changkyun tried to hide. He rubbed his boyfriend’s back and dozed until the doorbell rang a little while later. Groaning, he rolled over to dump Changkyun onto the mattress and untangle himself from his boyfriend’s arms.

Changkyun grunted As he was dumped unceremoniously onto the mattress. “Rude,” he mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Well someone’s gotta get our chicken,” Jooheon said as he disappeared from the room. He took the food from the delivery girl and brought it back into the bedroom. “Can I trust you not to get chicken in my bed or should we go eat in the kitchen?” he asked.

“We can eat in my bed, it’s not like I even sleep there,” Changkyun said.

"That's true. Alright, sleepyhead, up you get," he said. He reached out his free hand to help Changkyun up.

Changkyun got up, leaning on Jooheon as they relocated. He was absolutely starving.

"You miss me or something?" Jooheon teased as he pried Changkyun off of himself. He sat down next to his boyfriend on the bed and passed out their food accordingly.

Changkyun practically attacked the food. “I’m just hungry,” he mumbled through a full mouth.

Jooheon smiled fondly and dug into his own lunch. When they were done he laid back down and tugged Changkyun with him. "Hey, Kyunie, when is the first event we have to go to with Hyunwoo?" he asked after a moment.

Changkyun wracked his brain. “I think it’s next weekend,” he said finally.

Jooheon groaned loudly. "That means we have to go suit shopping this week. Do we  _ really _ have to go with Hyunwoo or can we manage on our own?" he asked.

“I mean, he actually knows what to look for and I bet he has some sort of discount deal set up with a tailor,” Changkyun said.

Jooheon groaned again. "Can you text him and figure out when we can go?" he begged, "I really don't want to talk to him if I can avoid it." He still had no idea what he and Hyunwoo talked about the previous night.

“Oh my god, just man up and talk to him,” Changkyun said, “and I still don’t even have his phone number anyway.”

Jooheon pouted. "Well you better get it soon 'cause you need to text him weekly updates," he grumbled.

Changkyun sighed. “If we keep seeing him this regularly, we won’t even have to text him,” he said, but he felt bad about it.

Jooheon nodded. "That's true," he said, "I'll text him later though. I don't want to get up to get my phone right now."

Changkyun nodded and practically buried himself in the chicken again. He didn’t know why he was so hungry suddenly.

Jooheon was a little surprised, but glad, that Changkyun was still eating. He hadn't been eating a lot lately, but it looked like he developed an appetite somewhere. 

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Changkyun asked, glancing up at Jooheon. Suddenly, he felt awful. He must have looked like a pig, diving after all the food like that.

"Yes, baby, I'm gonna eat," Jooheon reassured, "I just got distracted thinking about getting the suits." He picked up a piece of chicken and bit into it for further reassurance. 

Changkyun pushed the box toward Jooheon. He wasn’t really hungry anymore.

Jooheon ate a couple more pieces of chicken before standing up from the bed. "I'm gonna text Hyunwoo and get us some water. I'll be right back," he said. He left the room, putting the leftover chicken in the fridge before rescuing his phone from his own room. He sent a quick text to Hyunwoo simply asking about going suit shopping. Hopefully the older man didn't have anything to say about last night. As promised he reappeared in Changkyun's room a few minutes later with two tall glasses of water.

Hyunwoo wasn't surprised when Jooheon texted him. It was about time that he took the boys to get suits, since the first event was less than a week away. He replied asking if they were available the next day.

"Hyunwoo wants to take us to get suits tomorrow," Jooheon said nervously as he read the message. He didn't think they would have to go so soon, but time was ticking and they were busy during the week with classes.

"Works for me," Changkyun said. He cleaned up the chicken, leaving the rest to be eaten as leftovers.

"I'll let him know," Jooheon said. He chewed on his lip as he typed a message. He was searching for an excuse to say no, but he had a message typed out before he could think of one. With a sigh he pressed send.

Changkyun got up, going to the kitchen to put the chicken away and grab a napkin for his fingers.

“I swear to God, Changkyun, if you bring up anything about last night tomorrow I’ll make you walk home,” Jooheon called down the hallway. He had no idea how he was going to face Hyunwoo after still not remembering the majority of what they talked about.

"Why would I do that?" Changkyun asked. He would never do that sort of this thing to his boyfriend. He knew how uncomfortable it was.

“I don’t know, but I want to make sure it’s not going to happen,” Jooheon replied. He laid back down in his boyfriend’s bed and draped his arms over his face in a poor attempt to block out the light.

"Don't lay there, it's dirty," Changkyun said, "c'mon, let's go cuddle on the couch."

Jooheon pushed himself up with a groan. He grabbed Changkyun’s hand and dragged his boyfriend into the living room so they could lay together on the couch.

Changkyun followed Jooheon quietly, laying in his boyfriend's arms without protest. He was nervous for suit shopping, honestly.

"You're so tense, baby," Jooheon murmured when Changkyun settled into his arms. His boyfriend wasn't feeling all that great, but he knew there had to be something more.

"Just don't feel good," Changkyun mumbled, "nervous about tomorrow too."

"We'll get through it together," Jooheon assured, "and Hyunwoo will be there to make sure everything runs smoothly." He couldn't believe he was actually  _ grateful  _ now that Hyunwoo was going to help them, but it would have been a disaster if they tried to get suits on their own.

"I know but I'm gonna have to get undressed and get measured and everything," Changkyun said quietly, "I don't even want to do that for you right now."

Jooheon frowned. "You don't have to go tomorrow. I'm sure Hyunwoo will understand if you aren't feeling up to it. We can go back to get you a suit another time," he said.

"I need a suit for next weekend," Changkyun said, "and it'll be better to go with Hyunwoo than on our own. I'll just have to suck it up."

"You don't  _ have _ to go to this event. I'd rather you wait until you're feeling better so you don't have to force yourself though getting a suit and going to the event," Jooheon said. As much as he hated the idea of going alone, he would much rather Changkyun stay home and not force himself to do something he wasn't comfortable with.

"I don't wanna make you go alone," Changkyun said, "I'll be fine, babe, I promise. Don't worry about me."

"Of course I'm going to worry about you. And I'd rather you take care of yourself than force yourself to do something that makes you uncomfortable just for me," Jooheon said gently.

"One of us is going to end up uncomfortable either way," Changkyun said, "and honestly, I'll be uncomfortable no matter what, so it doesn't really matter."

"Of course it matters, Kyunie," Jooheon began, but he quickly closed his mouth. He didn't want this to turn into an argument so he just dropped it instead.

Changkyun was glad that Jooheon dropped it. He laid his head on his boyfriend's chest with a sad sigh.

Jooheon wrapped his arms around Changkyun so he wouldn’t roll off the couch. He wasn’t particularly tired, but he hoped his boyfriend took a nap, even if it was only a short one.

Changkyun hadn’t thought he was all that tired, but it wasn’t long before his eyes were dropping closed and he was stumbling off to dreamland.

While Changkyun slept, Jooheon let his mind wander. He thought about what tomorrow, the upcoming weekend, even what their future might hold. He thought about what the rest of their semester would look like, especially with all the work that would pile on. He even thought about what he could do to help Changkyun, but was coming up empty. The most frustrating part was that every train of thought he had led him to Hyunwoo. And he couldn’t figure out why.

The next day found Changkyun gripping Jooheon’s hand tightly as they waited for Hyunwoo at the mall. He was a little surprised that they were meeting there and not at one of the fancier suit stores on Main Street, but he knew this was cheaper.

Jooheon rubbed his thumb across the back of Changkyun’s hand, half for support and half so he didn’t lose feeling in it entirely. A few minutes later, Jooheon noticed a tall, well dressed man at the end of the mall and knew it had to be Hyunwoo. “Here he comes,” he said. He gave Changkyun’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

It wasn’t hard to find the boys. They were the only people standing stock still in the busy pathways of the shopping center. “You two look like you’re about to fall asleep,” he commented as he stopped in front of them.

“We’re fine,” Jooheon mumbled. He ran a hand through his hair and snuck a look at Changkyun. Did they really look that worse for wear?

“C’mon, the suit shop is downstairs,” Hyunwoo said, leading the way toward a nearby escalator. Despite his ability to do otherwise, he usually bought his suits from a regular retailer rather than a high-end tailor. Not only was it cheaper, but the suits were more durable and easier to clean.

Jooheon obediently followed behind Hyunwoo as he led them downstairs. His eyes widened as they walked towards the store and he had to force himself through the entrance. He had never felt more out of place than he did standing amongst the seemingly never ending shelves of suits.

Hyunwoo stopped and considered the two boys for a moment before leading them deeper into the store. While there were salesmen available to help size them, he figured he would try his own hand first.

Jooheon wordlessly followed Hyunwoo, keeping his tight grip on Changkyun’s hand. He hoped they could get fitted and be on their way home quickly. He really didn’t want to spend any more time with Hyunwoo then necessary.

“What sizes do you two wear?” Hyunwoo said as he made a beeline toward the racks of black suits.

“Whatever we can find,” Jooheon mumbled to himself. Until recently they really hadn’t ever had clothes that fit well, usually opting for the cheapest thing they could find instead. He quickly backtracked and gave Hyunwoo both of their sizes, hoping the older man didn’t hear his original comment.

Hyunwoo hummed to himself as he perused the racks. He grabbed a few different sized coats, shirts, and pants, handing them toward Changkyun. “Go ahead and try those on,” he said, grabbing a few shirts for Jooheon as well and turning toward the racks of blue suits.

Jooheon decided to go with Changkyun while Hyunwoo finished grabbing stuff for him. He leaned against the wall, careful not to wrinkle the shirts in his arms while he waited for his boyfriend.

Hyunwoo grabbed a few different sizes and styles for Jooheon as well and went to meet the two boys at the fitting rooms.

Jooheon carefully took the clothes from Hyunwoo and stepped into the room next to Changkyun. He had never worn anything remotely this fancy in his life so he took his time getting changed. When he found something that fit, he stepped out to show Hyunwoo. He wasn’t surprised that Changkyun hadn’t come out yet.

Hyunwoo couldn’t help but ogle when Jooheon stepped out of the dressing room. “You look really good,” he complimented, “even though none of it is sized right.”

Jooheon didn’t miss the look Hyunwoo gave him when he stepped out. He ran his hand through his hair and dropped his eyes. “Oh,” he mumbled. All the clothes felt fine so he wasn’t quite sure what Hyunwoo meant, but he trusted the older man. 

“Straight slacks are supposed to fit a little tighter,” Hyunwoo explained, “and the jacket is too short for you. Let me go grab a few other styles.”

Jooheon nodded and watched Hyunwoo disappear back into the shop. He knocked on the door of Changkyun’s changing room. “Kyunie, you okay?” he asked.

Changkyun stared at himself in the mirror. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said after a minute, “just nothing fits.”

“When Hyunwoo comes back, tell him that nothing fits so he can look for something better,” Jooheon said through the door. He sighed sadly and looked into the shop trying to find Hyunwoo.

Changkyun sighed as he turned in place. Everything Hyunwoo had given him fight too tightly and just looked weird on his frame.

“If the clothes are uncomfortable why don’t you put your stuff back on while you wait,” Jooheon suggested. He knew it would be easier for Hyunwoo to pick new sizes if he could see Changkyun in the clothes, but he’s rather his boyfriend not be uncomfortable unnecessarily.

Hyunwoo returned a few minutes later with some different styles for Jooheon to try on. “Changkyun-ah,” he called, knocking on the other door, “are you doing okay?”

Jooheon thanked Hyunwoo and stepped into his own dressing room to change into one of the new outfits. He took his time so that Changkyun would have a moment to talk to Hyunwoo.

Once Changkyun was sure that Jooheon was back in his own room, Changkyun opened his door, letting Hyunwoo fuss over the sizing. “I don’t think the size is wrong,” the man said after a few minutes of tugging, “I think it’s just the cuts. Go ahead and take that off and I’ll be back.”

Jooheon heard footsteps retreating and figured Hyunwoo went to go get some new clothes for Changkyun. He took a moment to look at himself in the mirror in the meantime. Between the fancy clothes and the fact that his cheeks had finally filled out, he barely recognized himself.

By the time Changkyun finished undressing, Hyunwoo was back with different clothes. The man switched out the clothes and immediately disappeared, presumably to put the other ones back.

Jooheon opened his door and poked his head out. Hyunwoo was still gone so he stepped back into the room. He didn’t want to wrinkle the suit so he stood and stared at the mirror instead, turning this way and that.

“Jooheon-ah, does that fit better?” Hyunwoo asked when he returned from replacing the garments.

“I think so,” Jooheon replied, stepping out of the dressing room. “It feels better at least.”

"Oh, yes, much better," Hyunwoo said when Jooheon stepped into his line of vision, "we might have to re-hem your jacket sleeves, but that looks perfect."

Jooheon smiled softly, but it quickly faltered. “Are you sure this isn’t too much?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said, “this is like bare minimum. Every man needs a good suit, Jooheon-ah.”

Jooheon nodded in understanding. He turned around to hide his smile and knock on Changkyun’s door again. “Kyunie, I want to see you when you’re ready,” he said.

“I dunno,” Changkyun called back, “I don’t think this fits right either.” The pants were way too short, even though the waistband fit properly.

“Do you want to try something else?” he asked. He felt bad that Changkyun was having trouble finding something that fit.

“Probably, I dunno,” Changkyun said again. He unlocked the door and hesitantly stepped out of the changing room. “The top is okay, but the pants are too short,” he said.

“Whoa, Kyunie, you look amazing,” Jooheon breathed. He let his eyes shamelessly wander up and down his boyfriend’s frame.

“Oh, that isn’t so bad,” Hyunwoo said, “we just have to get the pants hemmed and then it should fit perfectly. It looks really good, Changkyun-ah.”

“Once we get it tailored you’ll feel more comfortable in it,” Jooheon said confidently. He hoped that was enough to satisfy his boyfriend; he could tell how uncomfortable he was.

“Actually,” Hyunwoo said, looking at just how short the pants were, “it would probably make more sense to get a size that’s long enough and then take in the waist.”

Jooheon nodded. “Does that sound good?” he asked Changkyun.

Changkyun nodded shyly. He liked the rest of it, just not the pants. “The last pair were long enough,” he said helpfully.

“Oh if they alter the waist on something else that length then it should be perfect,” Jooheon said, sneaking a glance at Hyunwoo. He hoped this could be fixed soon so they could get back into their own clothes and be on their way home.

“Changkyunnie, you can get back in your own shirt and I’ll go grab other pants and a tailor,” Hyunwoo said, getting up, “same with you and the jacket, Jooheon-ah.”

Jooheon nodded and stepped into the dressing room to put his own clothes back on. He stood outside the dressing room, jacket in hand, waiting for Hyunwoo to return with the tailor.

Hyunwoo grabbed the old pants off the rack and brought them back for Changkyun. “Here, change into these then step out here,” he said, pressing the button on the wall to call an assistant.

Jooheon stood outside Changkyun’s dressing room, while he waited for the tailor to come over. He stared at his feet. He was grateful Hyunwoo hadn’t brought up anything about Friday night, but he still felt awkward.

Changkyun quickly changed into the bigger pants, stepping out of the dressing room only once the tailor had arrived. Once the man had made all the necessary measurements and moved on to Jooheon, he was quick to change back into his own clothes.

Jooheon sighed sadly when Changkyun ducked back into the changing room quickly. He stood obediently for the tailor and thanked him when he was done. He was already wearing his own clothes so he slipped his own jacket on and waited for Changkyun to come out.

Once Changkyun was out of the changing room and the tailor had disappeared with the rest of the pieces, Hyunwoo stood. “They should have it ready in a few hours, so is there anything you two need to shop for?”

“I’m all set, but do you want anything, Kyunie?” Jooheon asked, “we can walk around until they’re done.”

“I could treat you to dinner if you like,” Hyunwoo offered. He wouldn’t admit it, but he actually kind of enjoyed taking the boys shopping.

“Yeah that would be nice,” Jooheon said. He wasn’t sure why he was agreeing so easily. Part of it was definitely to make sure Changkyun ate a good meal, but the rest of it? He couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Any preferences?” Hyunwoo asked as he led the way out of the store. The tailor already had his card information to charge him anyway.

“I’m okay with anything,” Jooheon replied. He fell into step next to Changkyun and glanced at his boyfriend. He didn’t like calling the shots for both of them, but he wasn’t sure if the younger boy was up to making decisions at the moment.

“Would you mind American?” Changkyun suggested quietly. Hyunwoo smiled. “There’s a really good steakhouse at the other end of the mall,” he suggested.

Jooheon took Changkyun’s hand in his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. They followed Hyunwoo through the mall towards the restaurant.

Hyunwoo was glad that the boys were actually letting him treat them. He knew they were always appreciative, but it was nice to see it in person.

When they got to the restaurant, they followed the hostess to a table in the back. Jooheon let go of Changkyun’s hand just long enough for them to take their seats.

“How has the semester been going?” Hyunwoo asked as he sat down. He tucked his coat next to him and picked up his menu.

Jooheon sighed sadly. “Everything’s fine except for my music theory class. The professor decided to change the whole syllabus and now our grade rides entirely on one project and he’s notorious for failing people simply because he doesn’t like their stuff.”

Hyunwoo wrinkled his nose. “That’s shitty,” he said, “there’s probably a review board you can submit that to, because there’s no way he’s allowed to completely scrap his syllabus.”

“He has tenure so he’s basically untouchable,” Jooheon said with a shrug, “there’s really no point and I’d rather just work hard to pass it this semester then retake it again with him.” What he didn’t admit was that this professor was all but sapping his passion for creating, but working with Hyungwon some weekends was helping him keep his sanity.

Hyunwoo hummed and nodded. He hoped the semester wouldn’t be too difficult for Jooheon.

“Hyungwon’s been really helpful so I think I’ll be okay,” Jooheon added quickly. He hoped Hyunwoo didn’t worry about it too much.

“That’s good,” Hyunwoo said, “I’m glad you got him to open up.” Hyungwon was notoriously shy and him befriending Jooheon was a good thing for both of them.

“Got him to open up?” Jooheon asked, slightly confused. Hyungwon was on the quieter side, but Jooheon had never really had a problem talking with the older man.

“Oh, Hyungwonnie’s  _ painfully  _ shy,” Hyunwoo said, “he wouldn’t stay alone in a room with me for months after we first met because he felt so awkward.”

“Really?” Jooheon asked with raised eyebrows, “I would have never known. He’s been so friendly from the beginning.”

"I don't think he's ever talked to me as much as he has since you two started hanging out," Hyunwoo said offhand.

Jooheon’s eyes widened. “That’s good to know. I’ll have to talk to him about that,” he said with a smile. He knew Hyungwon would hate it, but he couldn’t wait to tease the older man.

"Of course, he may have some ulterior motives now," Hyunwoo admitted, "he and Minhyuk have some...ideas."

“Ideas? What kind of ideas?” Jooheon asked hesitantly. He didn’t like the sound of that at all.

"Nothing," Hyunwoo said, "they're just delusional. They think that our arrangement should turn out the way that their arrangements have, even though they know that's not what any of us are looking for."

“Oh, I see,” Jooheon mumbled quietly. He would  _ definitely  _ have to talk to Hyungwon about this and nip those ideas in the bud. There was no way this arrangement would end up anywhere close to how Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s were.

"I don't know that Hyungwon's really involved in it," Hyunwoo said, "I think it's really just Minhyuk, but he has mostly backed off."

Jooheon huffed quietly. “I don’t know Minhyuk well, but I’m sure Hyungwon can get him to stop bothering you completely,” he said. He was a little embarrassed that the other boys had been trying to push their own agendas on Hyunwoo.

"It's fine, it's not like I listen to Minhyuk anyway," Hyunwoo said with a small smile.

“Oh good,” Jooheon said with a sigh of relief, “I can see how he and Kihyun get along so well.” He didn’t really know much about either of them other than meeting them at dinner, but from the sounds of it their personalities were very similar.

"They're both pains in my ass," Hyunwoo agreed, "love 'em to death, but I'd pay a lot to shut them up for a few hours."

Jooheon couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips. “They can’t really be  _ that _ bad, can they?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh, they're the worst," Hyunwoo joked, fighting back a smile. It was nice to just joke around with the boys like this.

Jooheon didn’t try to stop his laugh this time. “How did you get so close to them?” he asked. He wasn’t sure where his friendliness towards Hyunwoo had come from, but maybe it was his curiosity taking over.

"Kihyun was my roommate in college," Hyunwoo said, "I would have roomed with Hoseok, but he ended up a year ahead even though he's younger than me. Kihyun, he's...well, he  _ was _ a trust fund kid but he's also a bleeding heart, so the second he realized the financial situation I was in at the time, he just went off the deep end helping me out. He was the first one of us to enter into this type of relationship, because he just can't not help people." Hyunwoo smiled fondly at the memory.

“Oh wow that’s really great of him,” Jooheon said quietly. He snuck a look at Changkyun and laid a hand on his boyfriend’s thigh.

"I owe him a lot," Hyunwoo said quietly. Their food finally arrived and the table fell silent as they all ate.

Jooheon felt a bit guilty as he ate. He and Changkyun essentially owed Hyunwoo their lives and they had done all but nothing to repay him. The more time they spent with the older man the more comfortable he got, but there was still a small voice in the back of his mind telling him that Hyunwoo would give up on them just like everyone else had. He didn’t realize his mouth had slipped into a frown until it was too late.

"Is everything okay?" Changkyun whispered to Jooheon. He was glad that Hyunwoo hadn't seemed to have noticed his boyfriend's frown.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jooheon said quietly. He squeezed Changkyun’s leg in reassurance and forced a smile onto his face. This was something that would have to wait until they got home to talk about further.

Changkyun bit his lip but didn't push the issue. It was obvious that Jooheon didn't want to talk about it in front of Hyunwoo.

The rest of dinner went smoothly and Jooheon was even able to joke with Hyunwoo a little bit more about Kihyun and Minhyuk’s antics. Soon they were walking back through the mall to pick up their suits.

Hyunwoo thanked and tipped the tailor profusely when he collected the boys' suits. "I'll pick you two up around 6:30 on Friday," he said as they approached the entrance of the mall, "is that alright?"

“Yeah that sounds good,” Jooheon said politely, “thank you very much for dinner.” He had gathered Changkyun’s hand in his own again, but it was more to comfort himself than anything.

"Of course," Hyunwoo said dismissively, "let me know when you get home, alright?" Even though the boys didn't live in a dangerous area anymore, he still worried about them getting home safely.

“Oh, yeah of course,” Jooheon said. They bid Hyunwoo goodbye and headed home. As promised the moment he walked in the door he texted Hyunwoo letting him know they were home and thanking him again for the suits and dinner.

Hyunwoo was glad that Jooheon had texted him, because it gave him the chance to wish the boys good night. The day together had been fun, but now he was feeling lonely again as he remembered that it was fully out of the obligation.

Jooheon was a little surprised that Hyunwoo wished them a good night, but he politely replied to the text before putting his phone down for the night. He all but dragged Changkyun to his room, only pausing to get changed before crawling into bed.

Changkyun crawled into bed after Jooheon, laying behind his boyfriend and hugging him tightly. "What's wrong?" he asked again.

“He’s..he’s so good to us and it’s so nice to have someone that cares, but I just can’t stop thinking about what happens when he gives up on us and leaves us back where we started. I don’t...I can’t live through getting tossed to the side again, Kyunie,” he rambled miserably, “I know he says he won’t leave and I want to believe him, I really do, but I just...can’t.”

Changkyun hummed. He had actually been talking about this fear of Jooheon's with Minhyuk and Hyungwon just a week ago, wondering what had helped them overcome it. "Minhyuk and Hyungwon both said they'd beat him up if he dropped us," he mumbled into Jooheon's shoulder.

Jooheon sighed sadly. That just made him feel guilty about the whole thing. “I swear I’m trying to get better, but I really don’t know if I can,” he whispered shakily.

"You should talk to Hyungwonnie about it," Changkyun suggested, "he said he struggled a lot with it too. Minhyukkie didn't really have a choice in the matter, but he and Kihyun hyung also met very differently."

“I’ll talk to Hyungwon next time I see him. Thanks, Kyunie,” Jooheon said quietly. He really didn’t know what he’d do without his boyfriend.

“Hey,” Changkyun said. He hesitated, but eventually lost his nerve. “I love you.”

Jooheon turned himself around in Changkyun’s arms so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes. “I love you too. Thank you for not giving up on me,” he whispered sincerely.

“I would never,” Changkyun said quietly. He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend gently.

Jooheon kissed Changkyun back happily. He really had no idea what he would do, or where he would even be if he didn’t have his boyfriend. When they finally pulled apart he immediately buried his face in the younger man’s neck.

Changkyun hugged Jooheon tightly. He loved the older boy so much, it was almost painful.

Jooheon pressed closer to Changkyun and eventually managed to fall asleep still wrapped protectively in his arms. He was meeting with Hyungwon later in the week to get his opinions on a new mix he was working on and he promised himself he would ask the older man for advice.

Changkyun ran his hand through Jooheon’s hair as the older boy slept. He had meant to tell him about the medication, now that he had settled on a good one, but Jooheon had fallen asleep too fast.


	15. Chapter 15

Jooheon had no idea what time it was when he woke up, but he was grateful he didn’t have class until the afternoon because he had no desire to move from where he was. He was so content to still be wrapped in Changkyun’s arms and he wished he could stay here forever.

Changkyun hadn’t slept long, but he had slept well, which was really all he could ask for. He had woken up a little before Jooheon and was content to just live with his boyfriend in his arms.

Jooheon blinked his eyes open and smiled when he saw that Changkyun was awake. “Hi, there,” he whispered, voice thick with sleep.

"Morning," Changkyun whispered. He pressed a kiss to Jooheon's forehead.

"What that's it?" Jooheon asked. He faked a pout and stared up at his boyfriend.

Changkyun rolled his eyes fondly and kissed Jooheon's pout. "Is that better?"

"Much," Jooheon replied softly. He dropped his head back onto Changkyun's shoulder. "What do you want to do before I have to go to class?"

"Why can't we just cuddle?" Changkyun asked with a pout of his own. He didn't want to let Jooheon go.

Jooheon smiled into Changkyun's neck. "That sounds perfect to me," he murmured. He let his eyes fall closed again and sighed contently. He wasn't going to fall back asleep, but he certainly was comfortable enough to.

Changkyun couldn't get over how stunning Jooheon was, especially now that he had put on weight. He didn't know how Jooheon could see himself in the mirror then turn around to look at Changkyun and still be in love with him.

"Kyunie, relax, you're thinking too much," Jooheon said soothingly. His boyfriend had tensed up next to him and that was a tell-tale sign he was overthinking something.

"Sorry," Changkyun mumbled, but he couldn't relax. All the nerve he'd built up the day before was gone and he felt anxious again.

"What's wrong, baby?" Jooheon asked. He pulled back so he could place a gentle kiss on Changkyun's jawline. He peered up at his boyfriend and sighed softly.

"Nothing," Changkyun said softly, "I'm just worried about Friday."

"Oh, Kyunie," Jooheon began softly. He sat up a little more so he could see his boyfriend better. "You're going to look amazing and I'm not going to leave your side the whole time. It'll only be for a few hours and then we'll be back home, just the two of us."

Changkyun thought about the suits hanging up in his closet. "You're gonna look better," he said, "and I bet everyone's gonna wanna talk to you."

"They're only going to want to talk to me to figure out who you are," Jooheon said easily, "and it's not about who's gonna look better. We're both gonna look amazing and you know Hyunwoo is going to be impressed. But the only opinion that's gonna matter on Friday is mine and I already know how stunning you're going to look."

Changkyun was still dubious. "Sorry," he mumbled, "I'm being dumb."

"No, baby, you're not," Jooheon said, "I know it's a lot to get used to, but we'll get there. If it really gets to be too much on Friday, you tell me and we can leave early. I know Hyunwoo won't be upset."

Changkyun sighed and buried his face in Jooheon's neck. He didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"It's alright, Kyunie," Jooheon murmured soothingly. It was his turn to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and hold him tightly.

Changkyun hated that he couldn't bring himself to tell Jooheon anything. He cared too much about what the older man thought. 

Jooheon sighed sadly. He could feel how tense Changkyun still was against him, but he knew his boyfriend didn't want to talk about it anymore. He wished he knew what to do to help him feel better, but he was stuck.

"You should get ready for class," Changkyun mumbled a little while later, pulling his face from Jooheon's shoulder.

"Will you be okay?" Jooheon asked nervously, "I can afford to miss this class if you need me." He would much rather spend the rest of the day with his boyfriend anyway.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Changkyun said, "I have class in a little while too and I'm trying not to miss anything this semester."

Jooheon nodded and sat up. He stretched and rolled his shoulders before climbing out of bed. "Come on, let's get ready and we can drive to campus together," he said.

Changkyun yawned as he sat up and all but rolled out of bed. He shuffled around, getting changed and grabbing his bag.

Jooheon got changed, grabbed his backpack and laptop from his closet, and snagged a couple snacks from the kitchen for the ride. He locked up the apartment behind them and led Changkyun out to their car.

Changkyun slid into the passenger’s seat and stared out the window as they drove to campus.

The rest of the week floated by about the same and suddenly it was 6 pm on Friday evening. Jooheon had gotten changed, fixed his hair, and was just tying his tie. When he was all set he knocked on the bathroom door. "Kyunie, you all set?" he asked.

Changkyun fiddled with the hem of the suit, still unsure about the whole thing. “Does it look okay?” he asked quietly, stepping out of the bathroom.

Jooheon didn't stop his jaw from dropping when Changkyun stepped out of the bathroom. "Okay? Kyunie, you look absolutely amazing," he breathed. He took a step closer so he could get a better look at his boyfriend.

“You look better,” Changkyun said shyly, letting Jooheon pull him closer, “you’re so pretty, Heonie.”

"We're both pretty," Jooheon amended. He leaned forward to kiss the tip of Changkyun's nose.

Changkyun wrinkled his nose. “That tickles,” he whined. From outside of the building, there was a honk. “I think hyung’s here.”

Jooheon chuckled quietly. "Well we can't keep him waiting," he said. He intertwined his hand with Changkyun's and led him out of the apartment and down to Hyunwoo's car.

Given how far away the event was - all the way on the other side of the city - Hyunwoo had decided to hire a driver for the evening. It was just a town car, but there was more than enough room in the back for all three of them to fit comfortably.

Jooheon balked a little before finally climbing into the back of the car. It was odd to be driven anywhere by someone he didn't know, but he didn't have a choice in the matter. "Hi, hyung," he greeted politely as he slipped into the seat next to Hyunwoo.

“You two look fantastic,” Hyunwoo said with a smile as they started moving, “everything fits well?”

"Thank you," Jooheon said, smiling shyly, "yeah everything fits perfectly." He snuck a look at Changkyun before looking back to Hyunwoo. The older man always dressed nice, but his outfit tonight was something completely different. He debated saying something, but quickly decided against it.

“It’s a bit of a long ride, so I do have some snacks,” Hyunwoo offered.

"Do you want to share something, Kyunie?" Jooheon asked. He knew his boyfriend wouldn't take anything on his own, but he wanted him to eat at least something before they arrived.

“I’m not really hungry,” Changkyun said. He was so nervous that he’d probably throw up if he tried to eat something.

Jooheon frowned, but didn't push it. He politely declined Hyunwoo's offer, feeling awkward taking snacks just for himself. "Is there anything...specific you want us to do tonight?" he asked slowly. He knew they already discussed what Hyunwoo wanted of them, but he wanted to make sure there was nothing else. 

“Nothing in particular,” Hyunwoo said, “it’s an auction event, so you two likely won’t even have to talk to anyone outside of our group.”

Jooheon nodded. He was glad Minhyuk and Hyungwon were going to be there. Hopefully they could help Changkyun relax and maybe even enjoy tonight. "I'm looking forward to getting to know Kihyun-ssi and Hoseok-ssi better," he said.

Hyunwoo snorted. “I’m sorry, I’m not used to hearing them addressed formally,” he said apologetically.

"Oh, I'm sorry...I just...I don’t know how to address them," Jooheon sighed sadly and closed his mouth. He folded his hands in his lap and stared down at them awkwardly. 

“No, you’re fine, Jooheonie,” Hyunwoo said, “how was your week?”

Jooheon let out a long breath. “It was actually pretty good. Nothing really happened, but it was one of the best weeks of the semester so far,” he said, braving looking up again.

“That’s good,” Hyunwoo said, “and you, Changkyun?” The younger boy shrugged. “It hasn’t been awful,” he said.

Jooheon’s nerves shot up when they arrived at the event a few minutes later. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the car and stood to the side to wait for Hyunwoo.

“There might be a few photographers near the entrance, but they won’t bother you,” Hyunwoo said as he got out of the car.

Jooheon nodded stiffly. He glued himself to Changkyun's side and followed Hyunwoo inside. He kept a wary eye on the photographers as they approached, but just as Hyunwoo promised they didn't even bat an eyelash as they walked by.

Hyunwoo kept himself on the outside, blocking the photographers with his body as he guided the boys inside. Once the doors closed behind them, he relaxed and led the way inside the ballroom.

Jooheon stood up a little straighter when they got inside. He didn't miss the fact that Hyunwoo had put himself between them and the photographers. He was quickly distracted as he looked around the extravagant ballroom. There were immaculately dressed people talking about all sorts of topics scattered throughout the room. Jooheon felt incredibly out of place and hoped no one noticed.

Hyunwoo looked around for a moment before catching sight of Hoseok and Hyungwon on the other side of the room. Leading the way again, he made his way over to the table.

Jooheon breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Hoseok and Hyungwon. He stuck by Changkyun's side and greated both men politely when they arrived at the table.

Hyunwoo greeted his friends and gestured for the boys to sit. He unbuttoned his suit jacket as he did the same.

Jooheon slipped into the seat next to Hyunwoo and unbuttoned his jacket like the older man had done. He made sure Changkyun was okay before turning back to Hyungwon to strike up a conversation. 

They weren’t seated for long before the first course of food was brought out. It was just salad, but Hyunwoo didn’t miss the way Changkyun seemed to pale. “Don’t feel obligated to eat it all,” he said, “all the leftover food will get donated to the shelter the company sponsors.”

"It's okay, Kyunie, it's just a salad. It's not gonna bite," Jooheon teased quietly. He made sure to keep his voice low enough so that only his boyfriend could hear him.

Changkyun picked up his fork and carefully picked up a single piece of lettuce. He made a face when the dressin hit tongue. “I would eat it if it didn’t have dressing,” he said morosely. 

“You don’t have to eat it,” Jooheon assured, “I’m sure there will be plenty of food you’ll like.” He only ate about half of his own salad, not wanting to get too full before the main course.

Changkyun knew that the food would be donated, but he still felt bad about not eating it. Even worse, he felt childish. 

Jooheon rested his hand on Changkyun’s thigh, just like he did every time his boyfriend was upset when they went out. Soon enough the waiters had come back around to clear the salad plates and Jooheon found himself getting distracted listening to Kihyun and Hoseok bicker about something that didn’t sound important in the slightest.

Changkyun was glad that the soup was something more simple. Without realizing it, he had actually managed to finish the dish, only worrying about how that looked once the bowls had been cleared. God, he probably looked like such a glutton.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jooheon whispered when he looked back at Changkyun. His boyfriend looked absolutely miserable and he would have taken them home that instant if he could have.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Changkyun said, “I’m just thinking too much.” Under the table, he grabbed Jooheon’s hand and threaded their fingers together.

Jooheon smiled sadly and gave Changkyun’s hand a reassuring squeeze. Out of the corner of his eye he didn’t miss Kihyun watching them.

Fortunately, there was a bit of a gap between the soup and the actual dinner, which made Changkyun feel a bit better. He leaned over to eavesdrop on Jooheon’s conversation with Hyungwon, propping his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Jooheon dropped his shoulder slightly so that Changkyun would be more comfortable. He had debated asking Hoseok if Hyungwon was really as shy as Hyunwoo claimed, but he figured that would be best saved for when they met next week. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to perform for a while. The only thing I’ve been working on lately is my assignment for this semester so I don’t have anything new,” he admitted. 

“You could perform some of your rap tracks,” Hyungwon said, “like, actually do them live.”

Jooheon's eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, no, there’s no way I can perform my tracks live,” he said quickly, “I think I can throw a new mix together before we meet next week.”

“I really think you should, Jooheon-ah,” Hyungwon said, brushing his fingers over the back of Jooheon’s hand, “but I can’t force you.”

Jooheon inhaled shakily. “I’m sorry, but I-I really don’t think I can perform live,” he said quietly. He chewed on his lip and dropped his eyes. He really hated saying no, but there was no way he could ever get himself to perform his rap tracks live. 

Hyungwon sighed. “At least come to the gig this week,” he requested. Jooheon could still make good connections without performing.

This time Jooheon nodded. “I’ll be there, I promise,” he assured Hyungwon. He braved looking up to sneak a glance at Hyunwoo, hoping the older man wouldn’t be disappointed with him.

“It’s on Wednesday this week, right?” Changkyun said. Hyungwon nodded. “I don’t think I can make it,” the youngest mumbled, “I have a night class.”

Jooheon was glad he had turned down Hyungwon’s offer to perform. There was no way he would be able to do it without Changkyun there. “It’s alright, Kyunie. There’ll be plenty more shows you can come to,” he said.

Changkyun hummed and nodded. He hated to miss Jooheon’s shows and he hoped his boyfriend knew that he still supported him completely.

Jooheon was about to reassure Changkyun again, but he was distracted by their dinner’s arrival. Soon the table fell completely silent as everyone focused their attention on eating.

Changkyun was amazed by how good the food was. He didn’t even feel ashamed about eating all of it so quickly, because he wasn’t alone at all. In fact, he was the last one at the table to finish. Once he was done, the plates were cleared away and the auction part finally began.

Jooheon was glad that Changkyun had finished his dinner; he had been worried he wasn’t going to eat. When an announcer stepped up to the podium in the middle of the room, Jooheon pushed his chair back from the table slightly so he could see better. He took Changkyun’s hand in his own again and rubbed soothing circles over the soft skin with his thumb.

Changkyun tuned out during the auction. He noticed Hyunwoo, Hoseok, and Kihyun bidding on some items, even winning a few, but not much. When the desserts were finally brought out, he passed his along to Jooheon, still feeling full from dinner.

Jooheon gratefully took Changkyun’s dessert, but only ate a few bites of it. Soon enough the event was over and everyone at the table was standing so Jooheon followed suit.

Changkyun tiredly leaned on Jooheon, waiting for Hyunwoo to finish talking so they could head out. There was still an hour ride back and he just wanted to be in bed already. Finally, Hyunwoo finished up and guided them back outside.

Jooheon wrapped his arm around Changkyun’s waist and followed Hyunwoo to the car. “Are you sleepy?” he teased quietly.

Changkyun hummed. He slid into the car and immediately leaned on Jooheon when he could. Hyunwoo slid in last and soon the car started moving. Changkyun wouldn’t know though; he passed out almost as soon as they started moving.

Jooheon repositioned Changkyun ever so slightly so his boyfriend’s neck wouldn’t cramp up. “Thanks for bringing us tonight, hyung. I actually had a really nice time,” Jooheon said, “I definitely see what you mean about Hoseok hyung and Kihyun hyung now.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Hyunwoo said with a smile. He wasn’t sure that the boys would really enjoy themselves so much at an auction, but he couldn’t go to the event alone. “The next one is next Saturday and I promise it’ll be more interesting.”

“Oh? What will that one be like?” Jooheon asked curiously. Sitting at a table with familiar people and listening to the auction was plenty for Jooheon and he was a little skeptical about what the next event would entail.

“It’s more of a networking event,” Hyunwoo said apologetically, “dinner and live music and mingling. There will be some big names from the entertainment sector there though.”

Jooheon ran his hand through his hair nervously. He wasn’t much of a social butterfly, and Changkyun even less so, but he was determined to make it work. “I look forward to meeting them. It can really only help so I think it’ll be a good thing for me to talk to some of them if possible,” he said as positively as he could manage. 

“This is the one event that I wanted to make sure you attended,” Hyunwoo said, “but I understand if Changkyun doesn’t feel up to it.”

“I’ll talk to him about it and let you know if he wants to come or not,” Jooheon said. He ran a hand through Changkyun’s hair. He certainly didn’t want to guilt trip his boyfriend into coming with them, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle the event without him.

“Of course, take your time,” Hyunwoo said. They fell quiet after that, letting Changkyun sleep in peace. “Let me help you carry him up,” Hyunwoo said when they reached the housing complex.

“Thank you,” Jooheon whispered. While he would be able to support Changkyun into the apartment there was no way he would be able to carry him alone. 

Hyunwoo carefully lifted Changkyun into his arms, bridal style. The boy wasn’t heavy at all, but his arms still strained his white dress shirt. Jooheon let them into the building and opened their apartment so that Hyunwoo could carry Changkyun straight into the bedroom. 

Jooheon followed Hyunwoo towards the bedroom. He didn’t miss the way Hyunwoo’s shirt tightened his arms and it took him a moment to catch himself staring. When he did he quickly dropped his eyes to the floor. There was no reason for the older man to leave him so flustered, maybe he was just jealous he was able to carry Changkyun so easily. Yeah, that had to be it.

“I’ll let you handle him from here,” Hyunwoo said, stepping back toward the door. “Have a good night, Jooheon-ah.”

“Uh, yeah, thanks for bringing him in, hyung,” Jooheon said half-distracted, “have a good night.” He locked up behind Hyunwoo before going back into the bedroom to carefully get Changkyun changed into more comfortable clothes. After changing and washing up himself, he collapsed into bed next to his boyfriend.

Changkyun wasn’t really awake, but he was aware of something warm settling next to him and he moved toward it. With a small smile, he drifted off, happy.

Jooheon wrapped his arms around Changkyun and settled down to sleep. They enjoyed the rest of their lazy weekend together and sooner rather than later Wednesday had rolled around. After class found Jooheon standing in the bathroom slipping into his favorite jacket and pushing his hair back.

Changkyun hadn’t lied to Jooheon, not really. He did have a night class, but the likelihood of it running so long that he would miss the show was very low. In reality, he simply didn’t think that he could handle the club atmosphere at the moment. Fortunately, Jooheon was already long gone when he got home.

Jooheon arrived at the club and immediately went backstage to meet up with Hyungwon. It was nice not to have to set up anything and he was determined to enjoy the night. Although he had to admit, it was a little odd not having Changkyun with him.

It really didn’t take long at all for Changkyun to start overthinking. It started with Jooheon. His boyfriend, who was out at a club right now, with the prettiest man that Changkyun had ever seen, probably a little tipsy, and it wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jooheon, but Hyungwon had been flirty at the auction and Changkyun knew he wasn’t good enough to convince Jooheon to stay faithful if he had the choice. He decided to take a shower, hoping to wash off the grime of those thoughts.

Jooheon wasn’t planning on drinking, but he knew that he would be there long enough that one drink from Hyungwon would be okay. He sipped the drink slowly and talked with the members of 3racha. They were upset Changkyun couldn’t make it and were prying information as to how he was doing from Jooheon. 

The shower didn’t help at all. Changkyun found himself doing more scratching than scrubbing and that was the last straw. He wasn’t going back to  _ that  _ place again; Jooheon would never forgive him. He got out of the shower and stared at himself in the mirror. Somewhere along the way, he started crying. 

Jooheon slipped into the club when it was time for Hyungwon to perform. He stayed against a back wall and nodded along to the music. Hyungwon really was an incredible DJ and Jooheon wasn’t sure he would ever be able to reach that level. 

Changkyun slid to the floor, sobbing. He was bad, he was so bad. How hadn’t he noticed? Pawing blindly across the floor, he grabbed his phone and called the only person he knew that could help: Jooheon. 

Jooheon felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and carefully took it out. He frowned when he saw Changkyun’s name written across the screen; hopefully everything was okay. He darted backstage so he could answer the phone without it going to voicemail. “Hey, Kyunie. Is everything alright?” he asked. 

“Heonie,” Changkyun whimpered when Jooheon picked up the phone, “I n-need you to come h-home.” He hated to pull his boyfriend away from what he loved, but he needed him right now. 

Jooheon panicked when he heard how strained Changkyun’s voice was. He knew that tone, and it didn’t mean anything good. “I’m on my way home right now,” Jooheon said, “don’t hang up on me.” He put his drink down on the counter and fished his keys out of his pocket as he sprinted out the back door and to his car. “I’ll be right there, Kyunie. Just a few minutes and I’ll be home.” 

The phone slipped out of Changkyun’s still-wet hands and he fumbled to put it on speaker. “I’m s-sorry,” he sobbed. 

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” Jooheon said soothingly. His voice was shaky, but it wasn’t because he was angry; it was because he was absolutely terrified. He raced home much faster than was legal but he didn’t care. All he was worried about was getting home to his boyfriend. 

That just made Changkyun cry harder. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the bright orange pill bottle, mocking him from its hiding spot among the cleaning supplies. In a fit of anger, he grabbed the bottle and threw it across the room. The cheap plastic broke and pills spilled everywhere. Changkyun buried his head in his knees and sobbed. 

Jooheon’s chest tightened when he heard Changkyun begin to cry harder and he drove a little faster. He finally got home and sprinted up the stairs to their apartment, barely remembering to shut the front door to the apartment. “Kyunie, I’m here!. Baby, it’s okay. I’m home,” he called as he tore through the apartment. He quickly found Changkyun in the bathroom and dropped to the floor next to his boyfriend.

Changkyun didn’t care how wet he was. He clung to Jooheon like his life depended on it. His arms were covered in scratches, bright red from the scalding water, and he knew his face was in a similar state. He was a wreck. 

Jooheon wrapped an arm around Changkyun’s waist to pull him closer while his other hand buried itself in his boyfriend’s hair. “I’m here, baby, and I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe now. I got you,” he whispered. He didn’t care how soaked he was getting; as long as he knew Changkyun was okay. Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed a broken pill bottle and pills that he had never seen before strewn across the floor.

“It g-got so bad ag-gain,” Changkyun sobbed, “I’m so s-sorry.” He hated that he had kept his feelings from Jooheon; he hated himself for everything. 

“Oh, Kyunie,” Jooheon mumbled sadly. He knew telling Changkyun not to apologize would only make it worse, but he wanted his boyfriend to understand that he had done nothing wrong. He felt guilty for not noticing how bad things were getting and he wished it hadn’t gotten to this point. “I’m not upset, baby,” he added quietly, “try and take some deep breaths so you don’t get anymore worked up.”

Changkyun did as Jooheon said, gasping in heaving breaths as he slowly calmed down. Tears still leaked down his face, but he was no longer sobbing. 

“I’m right here, Kyunie,” Jooheon murmured again, “it’s gonna be okay. Just keep taking deep breaths.” He slowly rocked back and forth trying to soothe his boyfriend. He was grateful that he was starting to calm down, but he would be willing to sit on the floor for hours if that’s what it took to make sure his boyfriend was okay.

“‘M cold,” Changkyun mumbled after a while. He was still wet and naked, covered by only a damp towel, and it was absolutely freezing in the bathroom.

Jooheon leaned over to reach for the vanity cabinet. They were a little too far away for him to reach so he scooted closer, pulling Changkyun with him. He opened the cabinet and pulled out a fresh towel. As carefully as he could, he switched the soaking wet towel Changkyun was currently wrapped in with a fresh one. When his boyfriend was covered he grabbed another towel to help dry him the rest of the way off.

Changkyun shivered violently as Jooheon dried him off. He just wanted to be in bed now, asleep and not talking about it.

The next thing he had to do once his boyfriend was dried was get him dressed. Luckily Changkyun had brought clean clothes in with him before he evidently showered. Jooheon pulled those down onto the floor next to him, careful not to get them wet and slowly helped Changkyun get changed.

Changkyun couldn't talk. He felt like a child, letting Jooheon move him around and dress him. It was embarrassing but he wasn't going to tell his boyfriend no. Not after he'd dragged him home from his night out.

Jooheon tossed the towels to the side and ran a hand through Changkyun’s still damp hair. “Let’s get you to bed,” he murmured, “do you want to try standing? I won’t let you fall.”

Changkyun shakily got to his feet, leaning on Jooheon. The older boy guided him to bed, letting Changkyun situate himself on the mattress while he put things away. Just as Jooheon was about to leave the room again, Changkyun reached out and grabbed his hand.

Jooheon spun around when Changkyun grabbed his hand. He was going to clean up the bathroom, but he didn’t think his boyfriend was going to let go of him long enough to do that. It wasn’t a good idea to leave him alone while he was awake anyway. “I’m right here, Kyunie,” he said, taking a seat on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Changkyun whispered again, "I should've told you."

Jooheon reached over and ran his fingers through Changkyun’s hair again. “I’m just glad you’re okay,” he whispered. He didn’t want to admit how scared the phone call had made him, or how scared he still was.

"I didn't want to say anything until I was sure," Changkyun said, tearing up again, "but it d-didn't work." 

“Hey, hey, breathe, Kyunie. All that matters is that I know now and we’re gonna figure out something that works,” Jooheon said quietly. He laid down next to his boyfriend and gathered him into his arms.

Changkyun pressed as close to Jooheon as he could physically get. "Don't leave me," he mumbled.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jooheon assured. He held Changkyun tightly against him, the current state of the bathroom long forgotten.

Changkyun was quiet for a while before he spoke up again. "I'm sorry for ruining your night," he mumbled.

“You didn’t ruin my night,” Jooheon said honestly, “I would rather be right here making sure you’re okay than at a club filled with strangers any night.”

"You were supposed to be out making connections and shit and instead you're here, taking care of my stupid ass," Changkyun said quietly, "I'm sorry I always hold you back."

"I've already met plenty of people. And taking care of you is more important than me talking to some people I wouldn't even consider working for. I love you, Kyunie, and I want to be here when you need me," Jooheon said softly.

"But I need you always," Changkyun said. It was muffled by Jooheon's shirt, but the sentiment was there.

"And I'll always be here," Jooheon murmured. He let silence fall over them for a few minutes. When he was sure Changkyun was calmed down he took a deep breath. "Kyunie, what were those pills all over the bathroom floor?" he asked carefully. 

Changkyun tensed. Right. He hadn't told Jooheon about those. "Antidepressants," he mumbled finally, "I started them again a few weeks ago, but they're not helping."

Jooheon sighed sadly. He wasn't surprised that Changkyun hadn't told him, but it still hurt that his boyfriend didn't say anything. "Have you told your doctor they aren't working?" he asked next.

Changkyun shook his head. "I haven't seen her again since I started taking them," he said, "I was supposed to have an appointment tonight but she had to cancel last minute."

"First thing tomorrow morning we'll call her and get you to see her as soon as possible," Jooheon said, "we'll find something that works."

Changkyun sighed. He was still unhappy, but that was really the best he could ask for right now. He felt a little lighter now that Jooheon knew though and soon found himself drifting off.

Jooheon kept himself awake until he was sure Changkyun had fallen asleep. He wished there was something more he could for his boyfriend, but for now he just held him close. He kept a close eye on Changkyun for the rest of the week, dreading the event looming on the horizon the whole time. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't stop the days from passing by and sooner rather than later it was Saturday evening and he was getting ready to go out once again.


	16. Chapter 16

Changkyun, aside from all the issues he was already having, managed to come down with a cold between Wednesday and Saturday. As a result, he had opted not to go and was going to mope on the couch with Minhyuk, who was also ill. “I’m sorry I can’t go,” he said miserably to Jooheon, “you look amazing though.”

“Thanks, Kyunie,” Jooheon said softly, “don’t worry about not coming. I’d rather you rest up and feel better. Promise you’ll call me if you need absolutely anything.”

“Of course,” Changkyun said, “and Minhyuk will be here soon anyway. You promise me you’ll try to have fun, okay?”

“I will do my best,” Jooheon promised, “but I wish I was the one staying with you.” He didn’t want to make Changkyun feel guilty for being sick, but he really did feel bad that he couldn’t stay home.

“Then you would get sick too,” Changkyun said, “at least Minhyuk’s already feeling miserable.”

“It would be worth it,” Jooheon said with a pout. Unfortunately the only thing he could do before he left was make sure Changkyun was comfortable on the couch. Minhyuk had arrived just a few minutes before Jooheon had to force himself out of the apartment to go meet Hyunwoo.

“Text me when you’re on your way home,” Changkyun requested, smiling when Jooheon promised. Satisfied, he laid back down on the couch, half on top of Minhyuk.

Jooheon walked towards Hyunwoo’s car slowly. The previous times he had been alone with the other man had not gone well and he hoped tonight wouldn’t end like that.

“How’s Changkyun doing?” Hyunwoo asked as he started to drive. Tonight’s event was much closer to home.

“He’s alright,” Jooheon replied, “I feel bad Minhyuk hyung is sick too, but at least they can spend the night together.”

Hyunwoo hummed. “That’s good to hear,” he said quietly, “Kihyun said he seemed absolutely miserable when the two of them were studying the other night.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. “Yeah, he wasn’t feeling good at all last night. He’s had a long week so this cold is taking a lot out of him,” he said.

“He didn’t get Minhyuk sick, if he’s worried about that,” Hyunwoo said, “Minhyuk got sick on his own.” He knew Changkyun would feel guilty and then Minhyuk would feel guilty and everyone would begin to spiral.

“That’s good to know; I’ll definitely tell him. He’s been more worried about getting me sick, but it’s hard to get him to understand that I don’t really care about getting sick,” Jooheon said.

Hyunwoo pulled into the driveway of the venue, joining the line of cars waiting to be valeted. “If you get sick too, then there’ll be no one to take care of either of you,” he said.

“I can take care of Kyunie while I’m sick,” Jooheon said, slightly confused. What did Hyunwoo think they did all these years?

“And who’ll take care of you?” Hyunwoo questioned, “and if you get sick worse than him?” A small smile played on his lips. Jooheon really was a cute kid.

“I can take care of myself,” Jooheon said flatly, “and he has a little cold, there’s no way I could get that sick.” He frowned when he saw Hyunwoo smile.

“You should let someone else take care of you once in a while,” Hyunwoo said, “I hear it’s pretty nice.”

“I bet it is,” Jooheon said sadly. He did have Changkyun to take care of him when he needed it, and that was more than enough for him. With a quiet sigh, he turned to look out the window and was glad to see they were the next car in the line.

The valet opened the doors for them and Hyunwoo climbed out, waiting for Jooheon to join him. With a hand on the boy's back, he guided him inside the venue.

Jooheon had to admit that Hyunwoo’s hand on his back actually helped keep him calm. This event was much louder, and more crowded than the previous one. It was going to be a long night.

Hyunwoo guided Jooheon straight to their table, where Hoseok was conversing with a few industry friends and Hyungwon was looking bored out of his mind. Kihyun had opted not to come either, so it was just the four of them.

Jooheon sighed in relief when he saw Hyungwon. He stepped away from Hyunwoo so he could talk to his friend.

Changkyun wasn't quite sure how he had managed to become a caretaker in less than an hour, but Minhyuk was certainly in no shape to do it, so it had fallen to him. The older boy, on top of being sick, was in the middle of a fight with Kihyun and was simply miserable, leaving Changkyun to force him to eat something.

Jooheon slipped into the seat next to Hyungwon and had absolutely no plans on leaving this spot until it was time to go home. He was surprised when Hyungwon asked where Changkyun was, but he explained anyway; he figured Minhyuk would have said something.

Changkyun finally got Minhyuk to shut up and stop wallowing by starting a movie. It was amazing how easily distractible the elder was.

Jooheon scoffed when Hyungwon made a comment about having Hyunwoo help him take care of Changkyun. “I’m capable of taking care of him on my own,” he muttered, “we’ve been sick before and we don’t need help taking care of each other.”

"Just because you've done it before doesn't mean you should be doing it," Hyungwon said wisely, "if that were the case, I'd be an alcoholic."

“I think this is a quite bit different,” Jooheon said, “you need your liver; I don’t need Hyunwoo to help me take care of Changkyun.”

"I mean, your liver is regenerative," Hyungwon said, "but my point is that just because you can handle doing something doesn't mean that you should have to. It's okay to give up the reins sometimes."

Jooheon had to force himself not to roll his eyes. “You sound just like him,” he grumbled, “why is everyone so obsessed with me giving up the reins to my life?”

"Because it isn't healthy to hold onto them so tightly," Hyungwon said simply, "that's how you get thrown off the horse."

“I survived this long so I’m obviously doing something right,” Jooheon said. He sat back in his chair and folded his hands together in his lap so he didn’t cross his arms over this chest. He couldn’t afford to act like a child at this event.

"Your standards shouldn't be based off surviving," Hyungwon said lightly, "I know it's easier to push everyone away and try and do it all on your own, but you can't sustain a life like that."

Jooheon sighed sadly. “Look I appreciate the concern and the advice, but I don’t need it. I’m doing fine and I don’t want to change how I’m living my life,” he said. Hopefully Hyungwon dropped this conversation soon.

Hyungwon only dropped it because the food was being served, and he told Jooheon as much. “You’re not avoiding this conversation forever,” he warned the younger man.

Jooheon quickly turned his attention to his food. Now he was dreading their next meeting. There was no way he could get out of it, or the rest of this conversation.

On Jooheon’s other side, Hyunwoo felt heavy. He hadn’t meant to overhear the conversation, but it was hard not to tune in when Jooheon was speaking with such contempt in his voice. Hyunwoo was reminded again that the boys didn’t need him. Really, it seemed, no one did.

Jooheon wasn't very hungry anymore, but he forced himself to eat half of his plate. When he couldn't stomach anymore he put his utensils down and folded his hands together again. Now he was in a sour mood and just hoped the rest of this event went quickly so he could get home.

“Hyungwonnie, why don’t you introduce Jooheon-ah to some of the producers you know?” Hyunwoo suggested once the plates were cleared away. Hyungwon nodded and stood up, waiting for the younger boy.

Jooheon paused for a moment before standing up. He would almost rather stay at the table with Hyunwoo at this point. Regretfully, he followed Hyungwon through the crowd to meet the producers he knew.

Once the boys were out of sight, Hyunwoo slumped in his seat. “He hates me,” he grumbled to Hoseok, who merely patted his arm consolingly.

"He doesn't hate you," Hoseok said soothingly, "he just doesn't seem like the type that takes fondly to being told what to do."

“Please, Hoseok, you heard the way he addressed me,” Hyunwoo said miserably, staring at the drink in his hand, “I don’t know what to do.”

"If this is really that bad for you why don't you let him go? There are plenty of other kids in the same position that would actually appreciate what you do," Hoseok said carefully.

“Because if I let them go, then I’m the shitty person that he’s been thinking I am all along,” Hyunwoo said, “and I can’t further destroy his trust in the world like that. Plus, I don’t think they’d survive it if I dropped them. They were working three jobs  _ each _ and still not making ends meet.”

"You can't let guilt keep you here," Hoseok said gently, "it's not healthy and it's just going to hurt all of you." He paused for a minute before continuing. "For what this kid puts you through I think you care about him too much. And please, don't forget that you can't help everyone no matter how much you want to."

“I just want him not to hate me,” Hyunwoo said quietly. He may be a fully grown adult man with a business empire bigger than he knew what to do with, but for some reason a lot of his self-worth lately seemed to rely on the opinions of a hot-headed college junior.

"I think you two need to have a talk, one on one. But that won't work if you don't stick up for yourself," Hoseok said, "and by the time you get to him, Hyungwonnie will hopefully have straightened him out." He had tipped the boy off to what was going on and was glad that he had started talking to Jooheon tonight.

“Every time I try, I end up offending him somehow,” Hyunwoo said, “at this rate, he’s going to be the one to cut the contract. I bet he would have already if it weren’t for Changkyun.”

Hoseok shook his head. "I hate to break it to you, but this kid might be a lost cause. And I know I said this last time, but you should really just focus on Changkyun. From the sounds of it, he actually appreciates everything you're doing for them," he said.

“They’re a package deal,” Hyunwoo grumbled, “Changkyun is too anxious to go anywhere without Jooheon and Jooheon doesn’t seem to let him anyway.”

Hoseok hadn't really felt guilty about getting Hyunwoo involved in this arrangement until now. "What if I find someone else who will take them?" he offered, "you can let them go without screwing them over and you won't be hurt anymore."

“No,” Hyunwoo said immediately, “I don’t trust anyone who is actively looking for this sort of relationship. At least with me, I know they’re not getting manipulated into something harmful.”

"Hyung, you can't keep living like this. I see how much this beats you up and it's gonna start affecting your home life and work," Hoseok said, "I'm not gonna sit here and watch you sacrifice yourself for kids you aren't obligated to help. I'm willing to do anything I can to help you, but I'm warning you that I'm not going to let this continue much longer if things don't start getting better."

“I’m not gonna screw them over, Seok,” Hyunwoo said with a heavy sigh, “they’re just a puzzle I haven’t quite cracked yet. I’ll get there.”

Hoseok continued to rub the older man's shoulder soothingly. "Just please be careful and know that there is really only so much you can do," he said gently, but firmly. If he couldn't convince Hyunwoo to give this up, no one else could.

Hyunwoo grunted and nodded. He spotted the boys walking back over and sat up in his seat, trying his best to not look like a sulky disaster.

Jooheon’s mouth pressed into a hard line as they approached the table. He didn’t miss Hyunwoo’s facial expression and he knew he had to have been talking about him with Hoseok. Sighing softly he sat back down in his own seat and tried to remember how one of the producers told him to fix his project so he could write it down.

“We should be able to head out in about half an hour,” Hyunwoo said, leaning over so Jooheon could hear him better, “I’m sure you want to get home to Changkyun.”

Jooheon nodded. Hyunwoo must have been wearing a different cologne for the evening because he smelled different than usual. It wasn’t overly strong and Jooheon hated that he liked it. “Yeah, I do,” he admitted with a shake of his head.

Sure enough, after the dessert course was served, Hoseok all but kicked Hyunwoo out of the venue, not so subtly forcing him to be alone with Jooheon. “Did you make any good connections?” he asked awkwardly when they were back in the car.

“Yeah, I did actually,” Jooheon replied, “one of them even had some advice on the project I’m working on now, which is really helpful.”

“That’s great,” Hyunwoo said with a tight smile, “I’m sure Changkyunnie will be glad to hear that as well.”

“I hope so,” Jooheon said quietly. At the mention of his boyfriend’s name he pulled out his phone and texted him that he was on his way home. He wasn’t exactly sure what had gotten into Hyunwoo, but he knew it was going to make for an awkward car ride home.

“He cares about you just as much as you care about him, maybe even more,” Hyunwoo said honestly, “if he isn’t glad, I’d be worried.”

Jooheon smiled softly and turned his head so Hyunwoo wouldn’t catch the blush that creeped up his cheeks. “He’ll definitely be glad, but it would help if he was feeling better,” he amended.

“Is he doing alright?” Hyunwoo asked, cautiously so as to avoid offending the younger man, “like...mentally and all that.”

Jooheon froze. He knew Changkyun wouldn’t want Hyunwoo knowing the whole story, but he also couldn’t lie. “Not really,” he said cryptically, “this week’s been really hard on him, but we’re working together to get him back on track.”

“I hope he starts feeling better soon,” Hyunwoo said after a moment. It was easy to tell that Changkyun was wildly insecure, especially where Jooheon was concerned, so he hoped that the boy was able to find something that helped him feel better.

“Thank you,” Jooheon said quietly. He wouldn’t admit how scared he was about Changkyun, but he knew his voice gave him away.

Hyunwoo's hand reached over instinctively and squeezed Jooheon’s arm supportively before returning to where it had been resting on the shifter. “He’ll be okay,” he said.

Jooheon jumped when Hyunwoo squeezed his arm, not expecting the touch. Without realizing it, he leaned closer, but Hyunwoo’s hand was gone quickly. “I hope so,” he mumbled, sitting up in the seat. More than anything Jooheon hoped he was enough to help Changkyun.

“You know, Changkyun, he...he might need more help than just you can give him,” Hyunwoo said carefully, knowing he was treading unsteady waters.

Jooheon stiffened. “He started going back to his doctor and he’s going to be seeing her again soon,” he said.

“And that’s a good start, but sometimes...the kind of support he needs isn’t always the kind of support you can give him,” Hyunwoo explained.

“He barely talks to me about what’s going on. I’m not so sure he’d be willing to talk with anyone else about this,” Jooheon said. He couldn’t tell if Hyunwoo was trying to weasel his way more into their lives or if he was simply trying to be helpful, but Jooheon was hesitant either way.

“Obviously, I’ll never know Changkyun nearly as well as you do, but it seems to me like he cares a lot about what you think of him,” Hyunwoo said slowly, “he might not tell you things because he wants you to see him in a positive light always. Someone else, someone more third party, might be able to get more out of him because he doesn’t care so much about their opinion.”

Jooheon nodded. That was definitely true, but there was no way he was going to open up to Hyunwoo. “He’s been getting closer with Minhyuk so maybe I’ll talk to him and see if he knows anything I don’t,” he said, half distracted by his thoughts.

Hyunwoo hummed. He knew that Changkyun had definitely opened up to Minhyuk quite a bit and it was only a matter of time before they were best friends. “Just something to think about,” he added belatedly.

“Yeah, thanks, hyung,” Jooheon said. It dawned on him that maybe Hyunwoo was right and he absolutely hated the thought. He could always talk to Changkyun himself and help convince his boyfriend to be more open with him.

Hyunwoo pulled into the complex’s parking lot and into a space in front of the building. “I hope you had a good time tonight,” he said, putting the car in park.

“I did, thank you,” Jooheon said politely as he opened the car door, “it was nice to meet a few more producers.”

“I have to go on a business trip next weekend, so you two will have the weekend off from events,” Hyunwoo informed him, “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

“Oh, okay, sounds good. Enjoy your trip and we’ll see you in two weeks,” Jooheon said, “good night, hyung.” With that he climbed out of the car.

Changkyun woke up to keys jingling in the lock before the door opened and Jooheon entered the apartment. “How was it?” he asked groggily. He made no attempt to sit up; Minhyuk’s hold on him was way too tight.

“It was fine,” Jooheon said quietly, “Are you ready to get to bed? I can move Minhyuk into your room and meet you in mine.”

“Good luck getting him to let go,” Changkyun said quietly, “fair warning, if you wake him up, there’s a ninety five percent chance that he may start crying again.”

Jooheon froze when he got next to the couch. He didn’t want Minhyuk to start crying again, but he also didn’t want to leave the boys on the couch for the night. “You aren’t going to be comfortable out here,” he said.

“Go get changed out of your suit, I’ll take care of him,” Changkyun said quietly. He painstakingly turned to face Minhyuk and attempted to wake him up.

“It might be best if you just stay with him for tonight, especially if he’s so upset,” Jooheon said. He didn’t want to be around for Minhyuk waking up so he quickly darted down the hallway to his bedroom to get changed.

Luck was really on Changkyun’s side because Minhyuk did not, in fact, start crying. He merely sighed sadly and closed his eyes again. “C’mon, hyung,” Changkyun whispered, finally wriggling out of the death grip, “let’s get you to bed, okay?”

Jooheon came back into the living room just as Changkyun was getting Minhyuk off the couch. “Do you need help?” he asked quietly.

“I’ve got it, babe,” Changkyun said, “I’ll be in in a few, alright?” With that, he helped a groggy Minhyuk to his bed and tucked him in.

“Alright,” Jooheon said. He finished washing up and then went to collapse in bed.

Changkyun braved giving Minhyuk a kiss on the forehead before leaving the older man to sleep it all off. Hopefully they would both feel better in the morning. A lot of secrets had been shared and Changkyun felt oddly lighter as he climbed into bed with Jooheon.

Jooheon opened his arms when Changkyun climbed into bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“A lot better,” Changkyun said, “Minhyuk hyung and I talked about a lot of stuff tonight.”

“Oh that’s great,” Jooheon said sincerely. He was glad that Changkyun was opening up and he made a mental note to talk to Minhyuk about it when the older man was feeling better.

“He had a really big fight with Kihyun hyung,” Changkyun revealed, “I told him he could stay here until they figured it out, but he said he would go stay with Hyungwonnie.”

“Oh that doesn’t sound good. I feel horrible. I hope everything works out for them,” he said sincerely. He wouldn’t mind having Minhyuk around. Changkyun barely used his bed anymore and he got along really well with the older man.

“I think it will,” Changkyun said, “as long as Kihyun hyung pulls his head out of his ass.”

“He seems pretty thickheaded but he cares about Minhyuk a lot so I’m sure he’ll get his act together,” Jooheon said. His curiosity was getting the better of him but he knew it wasn’t his business what happened.

Changkyun hummed and settled down, laying his head on Jooheon’s chest.

Jooheon leaned down to gently kiss the top of Changkyun’s head. “Good night, Kyunie. I love you,” he whispered.

Changkyun smiled and pressed even closer to his boyfriend. “Love you too,” he mumbled.

Jooheon drifted off to sleep with a content smile on his face. He helped Changkyun take care of Minhyuk the following morning and regretfully shipped the older man off to Hyungwon’s. When his inevitable meeting with Hyungon came early next week he made sure to ask. “How’s Minhyuk hyung doing?” he asked. He had waited until they finished everything they needed to work on and hoped this would provide enough distraction for him to sneak out soon.

“Great,” Hyungwon said sarcastically, “he’s germing up my apartment and he still refuses to talk to Kihyun. Dumbasses. How’s Changkyunnie?”

“Oh no,” Jooheon mumbled, “his cold is pretty much gone now so he’s feeling a lot better. Maybe I’ll send him over to talk with Minhyuk and see if he can help.”

“Don’t bother,” Hyungwon said, shaking his head, “we just have to lock them in a closet together until they figure it out.”

Jooheon's eyes widened slightly. "I don't think that's something I want to get in the middle of so good luck with that and keep me posted," he said. He stood up from his seat and slipped his laptop into his backpack.

Hyungwon reached out and yanked Jooheon back down into his seat. “Not so fast, mister,” he said sternly.

Jooheon frowned when Hyungwon pulled him back to sit down. "Why? We finished everything we needed to and if you want me to have a new mix for you for this weekend I need to start working," he said. He knew exactly where Hyungwon was going to go and he wanted absolutely no part of it. 

“You know exactly why, Lee Jooheon,” Hyungwon said, carefully shutting his own laptop and adjusting his glasses to look at the boy. “What do you have against Hyunwoo?”

Jooheon rolled his eyes. “I’m not having this conversation,” he said stubbornly, “he put you up to this and I have no idea why because he knows exactly how I feel about this whole thing.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Hyungwon.

“He did no such thing,” Hyungwon said, “he doesn’t know about this conversation and he’s not going to, but he is my friend and you’re hurting him and I want to know why.”

“I’m hurting him?” Jooheon asked with raised eyebrows, “well maybe if he learned to mind his business and left me alone when I asked he wouldn’t be so upset.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing; this was so childish and he was trying to think of a way to get out of this.

Hyungwon sighed. They kept dragging this in circles. “Why is it so bad for him to care?” he asked, “what are you so fucking afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything,” Jooheon said, growing more and more frustrated, “I’m just waiting for him to finally give up on us and move on.”

“So you’re afraid of him giving up on you and moving on,” Hyungwon said, deadpan, “that’s fine, Jooheon-ah, but you really shouldn’t be.”

“I’m not a-“ Jooheon stopped himself and rubbed his eyes tiredly, “at the end of the day I don’t need Hyunwoo to care; I don’t  _ want  _ him to care. Why is that so hard for you all to understand?” He just wanted this conversation to be over so he could go home.

“You think I wanted Hoseok to care at first?” Hyungwon asked, “I practically despised him.”

Jooheon paused. “You did? What...what did you do?” he asked quietly. He didn’t despise Hyunwoo, but if he could figure out how to get the older man to back off a little maybe things would get better.

“You shouldn’t do what I did,” Hyungwon warned, “I ghosted him, stopped accepting the money, and landed on my ass on the sidewalk, and when I went running back to him begging him to help me out again, he did it, no questions asked.”

Jooheon sighed. “I won’t do that. I can’t let Changkyun end up back where we were, that's not...that’s not fair,” he said sadly, “I just don’t get it. Why does he care so much? He barely knows us and it’s not like he’s getting anything out of this deal so what’s the point?”

“That’s just who he is,” Hyungwon said, “when Minhyuk and Kihyun had their argument the other night, Hyunwoo’s the one that went out at 2:30 in the morning to rescue Minhyuk from a pouring rainstorm and bring him to my place and he even stayed until Minhyuk fell asleep. He didn’t have to do that; he has no stake in their relationship. But he did it anyway because he cares so much for the people he has around him.”

“He did that?” Jooheon asked quietly. He thought back to how Hyunwoo had come to pick them up from the hospital late at night with absolutely no questions asked. “But he’s known all of you for so much longer. He’s obviously a lot closer so it makes sense that he would want to help.” He knew he sounded ridiculous, but he couldn’t give in; it would only end poorly just like it always had.

“Hyung lost his entire family nearly fifteen years ago,” Hyungwon said, suddenly morose, “that’s nearly half his lifetime, and he suffered a lot for half of that half. The poor guy just wants people around him.”

Jooheon sighed sadly and turned his head down. He felt bad for Hyunwoo, the poor guy really was lonely, but that didn’t mean he had to be the one to help. “I’ll try and let up on him,” he said after a moment.

“Just...try and be a little more open minded,” Hyungwon said gently, “he’s really doing his best.”

Jooheon nodded but kept his head down. “I really don’t hate him. I know he means well and he saved my and Changkyun’s lives, but I’m just...waiting for the other shoe to drop,” he said. He pushed himself up from the table again. “Thanks, Hyungwonnie. I’ll think about this.”

Hyungwon nodded, budding Jooheon goodbye. He wasn’t quite sure that he had succeeded in his mission.

Jooheon was glad that Hyungwon had let him go this time. He had a lot to think about on his drive home. Sure he felt bad for Hyunwoo, but that didn’t mean he had to change everything to be friends with the older man. As long as he could be a little nicer everything should smooth itself out. He didn’t even realize he had gotten home until he was putting his car in park.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in this chapter!

Changkyun perked up when he heard Jooheon’s keys in the door. “You’re home early,” he commented when the older boy walked in.

Jooheon glanced at the clock on the stove and sure enough he was home a half hour before he usually was. “Oh, yeah, I guess so. We didn’t really have a lot to work on,” he said. Come to think of it, they spent most of the time talking about Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. “Hyungwon was asking how you were.”

“Did you tell him I’ve ascended to another plane of existence?” Changkyun asked. He was mostly over his cold, but he was still stuffy and sneezy, which was arguably the worst part.

“I didn’t,” Jooheon said with a chuckle, “although you don’t look like you’re on another plane of existence.” The only thing different about Changkyun from when he left was his slightly red nose.

As if on cue, Changkyun sneezed loudly. “Every time I sneeze, I ascend even further,” he mumbled.

“Aw, baby, come here,” Jooheon said as he walked towards his boyfriend, “I’ll make sure you don’t ascend too far. Did you take any cold medicine yet today?”

“No, it tastes gross,” Changkyun whined, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Jooheon’s stomach.

“But it’ll make you feel better,” Jooheon singsonged. He combed his hand through Changkyun’s hair.

“I’d rather keep ascending,” Changkyun grumbled. Elderberry. What even was that?

“I guess I’ll just have to make you feel better,” Jooheon whispered. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held him close.

Changkyun hugged Jooheon back loosely. He still wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t going to get his boyfriend sick.

“A half-assed hug isn’t going to do the job,” Jooheon said. He pulled Changkyun the rest of the way against him and kissed the top of his head gently.

“A shower probably will,” Changkyun admitted. Since he’d stopped taking the anti-depressants, he’d been feeling better all around, especially about himself. He would still need to go back on them eventually, but he was doing well for now.

Jooheon hummed. “Alright, you go take a shower and I’m gonna make us some dinner,” he said. He didn’t loosen his hold quite yet though.

“Or you could take a shower with me,” Changkyun suggested after a moment, “keep yourself from getting sick too.”

Jooheon pulled back slightly. “I like that idea,” he said with a small smile. He finally released his hold on Changkyun so he could take his boyfriend’s hand and lead him down the hallway.

Changkyun had known Jooheon was going to agree, but he was still feeling nervous now. Jooheon hadn’t seen him naked since they’d first started all this. What would he think?

Jooheon ducked into his room to grab a pair of clean clothes for the both of them. He frowned when he stepped into the bathroom and saw the look of uncertainty on Changkyun’s face. “Kyunie, are you sure you want to do this? I don’t mind waiting until after you get out,” he said softly.

“I’m just nervous,” Changkyun said with a sigh, “but it’s something I need to overcome.”

Jooheon put the clean clothes down on the counter. “If it gets to be too much, tell me and we’ll stop,” he said. He slipped his shirt off and dropped it on the floor in the corner of the bathroom where it would be out of the way.

“Can you turn around?” Changkyun asked shyly.

Jooheon smiled softly. "Sure, baby," he said. He obediently turned his back to Changkyun and busied himself turning on the shower so the water would have time to warm up.

Changkyun rid himself of his clothes, carefully folding them and leaving them on the counter. He stepped past Jooheon and directly into the shower, not wanting to be stared at by his boyfriend.

Jooheon pushed his pants and boxers off and kicked them so they landed on top of his shirt. "Can I come in, Kyunie?" he asked. 

“Yeah,” Changkyun said. He faced away from Jooheon’s voice, staying safely under the water.

Jooheon stepped into the shower and stood behind Changkyun. After a moment he reached out and gently laid a hand on his boyfriend's waist. "Are you okay?" he asked just loud enough to be heard over the water.

“Yeah,” Changkyun said, “still just nervous.” He knew Jooheon would never belittle him, but he could also never tell what the older man was thinking.

"That's okay, baby," Jooheon said gently. He took a step closer to Changkyun and let his arms slowly wrap around his boyfriend. He kept his hold loose enough for Changkyun to step away if he needed too, but tight enough to hopefully be comforting.

Changkyun stiffened momentarily then relaxed in Jooheon’s hold. “It’s just been so long,” he said finally, “I’m worried you won’t like me the same.”

Jooheon sighed when Changkyun relaxed and tightened his hold ever so slightly. “Of course I’ll still like you the same. If anything I’ll like you more now,” he said.

“I look worse,” Changkyun said quietly, “I’ve lost most of the weight I gained.”

“It’s not about looks, Kyunie. I love you for you no matter what. I’m going to think you’re beautiful no matter what and together we can help you gain that weight back. It might take some time and that’s okay. I’ll love you as long as it takes and beyond,” Jooheon said softly.

“I know,” Changkyun said with a sigh, “you’re amazing, hyung.”

Jooheon pressed a wet kiss to the back of Changkyun’s neck. “So are you, baby,” he murmured before unwrapping his arms from around his boyfriend’s waist. He snagged the shampoo bottle from where it sat and squeezed some onto his hands. Slowly, he began to work the soap into Changkyun’s hair.

Changkyun relaxed even more as Jooheon shampooed his hair. It was so calming and he had to keep himself from leaving all his weight on his boyfriend.

Jooheon carefully positioned himself so he could support both of them. “You can lean on me, Kyunie,” he said quietly. He continued to run his hands through Changkyun’s hair and scratched his nails along his scalp to make sure the shampoo was really worked in. When he was one he rinsed his hands off under the spray. “Do you want help with your body?” he asked.

Changkyun couldn’t help but blush at the way Jooheon phrased the question. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a voice saying “yes, please, dear god, it’s been years.”

“I can't know if you don’t tell me,” Jooheon said gently. He reached for Changkyun’s washcloth anyway and kissed along his boyfriend’s neck and shoulders while he waited for an answer.

A shiver ran through Changkyun’s entire body. “Shit, Jooheon,” he said finally, “I can’t say that I’m opposed.”

Jooheon smiled and pressed one more kiss behind Chan yun’s ear before reaching for the body wash. “Tell me if I need to stop,” he said seriously. After squeezing some onto the cloth, he slowly began to rub down his boyfriend’s shoulders. He took his time moving from Changkyun’s shoulders to his arms and back, not wanting to make the younger man uncomfortable. 

Changkyun sighed happily as Jooheon moved the cloth over his back. “You know that’s not what I meant, right?” 

Jooheon paused. "It's not?" he asked dumbly. He didn't think Changkyun wanted to take this any farther than they already had.

“You asked if I wanted help with my body,” Changkyun said lightly. He was embarrassed now.

"I did, but I just meant washing up," Jooheon said slowly, "I'm sure I can find some other way to help that would be better for the both of us though."

“No, no, it’s okay,” Changkyun said hurriedly. He didn’t want to make Jooheon do something he hadn’t offered to do.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," Jooheon clarified, "I want to have a little fun if you're up to it." He set the wash cloth to the side and wrapped his arms around Changkyun again so he could resume gently kissing the back of his neck.

Changkyun felt another full body shiver run through him. “I want you,” he said quietly.

Jooheon smiled against Changkyun's skin. "Will you turn around for me, baby?" he asked quietly.

Changkyun turned around slowly. His hands instinctively went to cover himself, but he forced himself to stop.

"God, you're so beautiful," Jooheon breathed as he shamelessly let his eyes roam over his boyfriend's body. After a few moments, he pulled Changkyun against him and slowly leaned forward.

Changkyun met Jooheon halfway, kissing him much more gently than he had intended to.

Jooheon couldn't help himself from smirking into the kiss. He let Changkyun have his slow pace for a few moments before he tilted his head to deepen it. One hand rested on his boyfriend's waist while the other found itself supporting his lower back.

Changkyun pulled away from the kiss with a gasp. “We can’t do this in here,” he said hurriedly.

"Relax, baby, we're not going to. We're just getting a little warmed up," Jooheon said with a chuckle, "rinse your hair out the rest of the way and then we can go to bed."

Changkyun hurriedly rinsed the soap out of his hair and practically punched a hole in the wall trying to shut the water off.

"Easy, Kyunie, easy. We have all night, you don't need to rush," Jooheon said soothingly. He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel off the rack. There was no point in getting dressed, but he didn't want to go to bed dripping wet.

“It has literally been years since we’ve gotten off together,” Changkyun said, “excuse me for being a little eager.”

Jooheon chuckled. He was glad that Changkyun's earlier reservations seemed to have melted away and he hoped they didn't come back. After drying his body and doing the best he could with his hair, he grabbed his equally damp boyfriend by the hand and dragged him off to the bedroom.

Changkyun let Jooheon lead him to their bed and push him down. He bounced lightly on the mattress, waiting to see what Jooheon would do.

Jooheon groaned quietly. He was able to see Changkyun properly now that they weren't under the spray of the shower. He rifled around the bottom drawer of his night stand for a bottle of lube and set it within reaching distance of the bed. Without wasting any more time, he climbed onto the bed and settled himself above his boyfriend. "It's been much too long," he mumbled before leaning down.

“It has,” Changkyun agreed. Absentmindedly, his hands trailed down to cup Jooheon’s thighs.

Jooheon's shivered when Changkyun's hands came to rest on his thighs. Now that they were here, he was actually kind of nervous. He didn't want to scare Changkyun away, but he also didn't want to disappoint his boyfriend. With a shaky breath he leaned down to kiss the younger, trying to distract himself from his thoughts.

Changkyun let Jooheon kiss him for a moment before tipping his head away, letting the older boy continue down his neck instead. “You’ve filled out so much lately,” he said, “it’s so hot.”

"Kyunie," Jooheon whined. He was supposed to be showering his boyfriend in compliments, not the other way around. In slight retaliation bit into the skin he was currently kissing. It wouldn't leave a dark mark, but it would be just enough to be noticeable.

“What?” Changkyun asked, “I like it when you’re a little chubby, okay? I’m like a Renaissance noble.”

"You are just like a noble. Spoiled like one too," Jooheon grumbled into Changkyun's neck. He didn't stay in this spot for long. Slowly, almost teasingly, he kissed the rest of the way down Changkyun's neck. He stopped briefly above his collarbone to suck a faint mark into the skin and then continued kissing down his chest.

“Same motivations as a Renaissance noble too,” Changkyun said cryptically. He was way too coherent at the moment, so he tugged on Jooheon’s hair, bringing the elder back up to kiss him again.

Jooheon opened his mouth to ask Changkyun what he meant, but he was quickly silenced by his boyfriend's mouth on his own. He hummed into the kiss and eagerly deepened it. Deciding to test the waters a little bit, he slowly rolled his hips down against Changkyun's.

Changkyun exhaled shakily into Jooheon’s mouth. He could feel the blood starting to rush south.

Jooheon smirked into the kiss when he felt Changkyun harden against his thigh. With one hand he blindly felt around for the bottle of lube. He didn't want to drag this out any longer. He nearly knocked it off the nightstand but managed to snag it before it fell. 

“Getting right to it?” Changkyun teased. Internally, he was a little disappointed. He wanted to be able to savor this and take it slow. Even though this wasn’t technically his first time or their first time together, it was the first time in a while and their first time as an actual couple and not two dumb kids messing around. He wanted to be a little sentimental about it.

"Not quite yet," Jooheon murmured. He slicked up his hand and tossed the lube aside. He buried his face in Changkyun' neck and found his favorite spot to suck on. Slowly he lowered his hand and wrapped it around the base of his boyfriend's half hard cock.

Changkyun couldn’t help the small whimper that left his throat. Although he...took care of himself fairly regularly, nothing compared to Jooheon.

Jooheo slowly began to stroke his hand up and down. He kept his pace  _ teasingly  _ slow, ping to draw more whines out of the younger. Wanting this to be even better for this boyfriend, he kept his strokes in time with his lips working against Changkyun's neck.

“Are you trying to gnaw a hole through my neck?” Changkyun finally managed to gasp out. Everything felt incredibly overwhelming and he was sure he would be... _ embarrassing _ himself quite soon.

"No," Jooheon replied innocently, "I'm just making sure whoever sees you in class tomorrow knows you're taken." He let his tongue run across the mark he had made before he pulled away to admire his handiwork.

“Know who else I’m gonna see tomorrow?” Changkyun mumbled, distracted from his own thoughts by Jooheon’s hand.

"Who?" Jooheon asked peering down at Changkyun curiously. His hand started to slow down, getting lazy now that he was focused on Changkyun's question.

“Hyunwoo hyung,” Changkyun said with a dopey smile. He had convinced Minhyuk to study at Hyunwoo’s in hopes of ambushing him and Kihyun.

"Even better," Jooheon growled. He leaned back down to attach his lips to the other side of Changkyun's neck. He couldn't let his boyfriend go to Hyunwoo’s looking lopsided, now could he? He gave Changkyun's cock a gentle squeeze before pulling his hand away.

Changkyun whined in protest, but easily tipped his head backward for Jooheon to have better access to his neck. The older boy was determined to leave him bright purple.

"Oh, Kyunie, what else could we get up to?" Jooheon mused when he was done with his new mark, "it's no fun to just leave you with some hickeys." He let his hand trail up and down Changkyun's body, not so subtly brushing over one of his nipples.

“Don’t tease me,” Changkyun complained, “that’s not fair, I’ve barely even touched you.”

"You know I'm not stopping you, right?" Jooheon pointed out with a smirk. Abiding by Changkyun's request, he took one of his boyfriend's nipples between his fingers and tweaked it.

Changkyun squeezed Jooheon’s thighs where his hands were resting before moving his hands up to cup the older man’s ass. He squeezed that too.

Jooheon groaned quietly. To quiet himself, he leaned down and to Changkyun's other nipple between his teeth. He loved the feeling of Changkyun's hands on his body and he was glad his boyfriend seemed to have completely relaxed. 

The harder Changkyun squeezed Jooheon’s ass, the more he could feel the older man growing against him. It was a little exhilarating, knowing he was causing such a visceral reaction.

Jooheon whined and rolled his hips down again. He was so desperate for some sort of contact that it was almost involuntary.

Changkyun left one hand to continue abusing and bruising Jooheon’s asscheeks while the other ventured lower.

“Kyunie,” Jooheon said warningly, “I let you have your fun so don’t take advantage of this.” He knew Changkyun wasn’t going to listen to him and he wasn’t upset about it in the slightest.

“Let me,” Changkyun quoted with a scoff, “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.” As he said it, his fingers just barely brushed against Jooheon’s balls.

“You don’t but-,” Jooheon began but was quickly cut off by the gasp that escaped his throat. He promptly buried his head in Changkyun’s neck. This could get very messy very quickly if they weren’t careful.

“But what, baby?” Changkyun asked, retracting both of his hands back down to Jooheon’s thighs. Two could play this game.

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Jooheon growled, “I’m the one calling the shots tonight and I don’t take kindly to your little stunt.” In reality, Changkyun was rendering him a weak mess but he couldn’t admit that.

Changkyun pouted, looking up at Jooheon with wide eyes. Hopefully, the innocent act would soften his boyfriend up a bit. 

“Don’t...do that,” Jooheon whispered quietly. Changkyun really knew how to get to him.

“I don’t want to make this kinky,” Changkyun said, squeezing Jooheon’s thighs gently, “I just wanna enjoy you, okay?" 

"Whatever you want, baby," Jooheon murmured. He ghosted over Changkyun's lip so he could take the bottom one between his teeth and tug gently.

Changkyun kisses Jooheon carefully, not wanting to push too fast. He really did want to take his time.

Jooheon kissed Changkyun back sweetly. He let his boyfriend control the pace and simply reveled in the moment of being together.

After a while, Changkyun finally pulled away. “How do you want to do this?” he asked.

Jooheon tilted his head and stared down at Changkyun. "However you want," he replied simply. His big, bad claim to call the shots hadn't gotten him very far so he quickly dropped it. There was plenty of time in the future for him to be fully in control.

“I don’t mind either side,” Changkyun said stubbornly, “you said you were calling the shots, so do it.”

Jooheon rolled his eyes. "I like you just where you are," he said lowly.

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” Changkyun whined.

"I'll top," Jooheon clarified, "I want to take care of you."

Changkyun nodded and relaxed into the bed. He wasn't going to admit it, but that was what he was hoping Jooheon would say.

Jooheon smiled sweetly and leaned down to kiss Changkyun again. He slowly lowered his hips, effectively pinning his boyfriend to the bed. While he didn't think Changkyun would try anything, he wanted to be sure.

Changkyun whined. "Get on with it already," he mumbled.

“What happened to just enjoying this?” Jooheon asked teasingly.

"I don't enjoy you teasing me though," Changkyun said.

"I'm sorry, baby," Jooheon said with a pout, "are you sure you're ready though?" He wasn't used to being so overly cautious, but he had to be today.

"I don't think anyone's ever really ready," Changkyun said, "but I'm as ready as I'll get. I really want this, Heonie."

"I want this too," Jooheon whispered. He stole one more kiss before reaching for the bottle of lube again. After reslicking his fingers, he pressed one to Changkyun's entrance. He paused, wanting to make sure his boyfriend was truly ready before pushing in.

Changkyun settled himself again, letting his legs fall further open. "Just do it already," he said.

Jooheon took a deep breath before slowly pushing his first finger in. He would definitely need to take this slow to make sure he didn't hurt Changkyun.

Changkyun whimpered when the finger initially entered him. "Shit," he said after a moment, "don't stop."

Jooheon obediently pushed his finger in up to the knuckle. His fingers weren't very long, but they had made it work the first time so he wasn't particularly concerned. He gave Changkyun a few moments to get used to the stretch before slowly beginning to move his finger.

Changkyun couldn't keep his breath from hitching as Jooheon started moving his finger. It had been so long; any movement felt incredible. Does that feel good, baby?” Jooheon crooned. He moved his finger a little faster hoping to draw another whine out of Changkyun before adding another finger. 

Changkyun nodded shortly. He bit his lip, hoping to keep the embarrassing noises contained. "Y-You can add another," he mumbled after a minute.

“Don’t hold back, baby,” Jooheon murmured as he pulled in a second finger, “I want to hear you.” As he said it, he crooked both fingers.

Changkyun's thighs instinctively tried to close, but he just succeeded in clamping tightly around Jooheon's waist. The second finger stung more, but still not enough to turn him off. Are you okay, Kyunie?” Jooheon asked softly. He stilled his fingers and pulled back so he could see his boyfriend’s face clearly.

"Y-Yeah," Changkyun said, "it's just a lot. It's been so fucking ong."

“It’ll be worth it,” Jooheon promised. He slowly began to work up the speed in his fingers until he had reached a steady pace.

It wasn’t long before Changkyun could no longer suppress his whines of discontent. Jooheon’s fingers felt amazing, but they weren’t quite long enough to reach the spot that would make him see stars, so the entire process was a tease like no other.

Jooheon slowly and carefully worked Changkyun up to three fingers. He could barely contain himself with all he whines he was drawing out of the younger. “Are you ready?” he asked through heavy breaths.

Changkyun nodded, breathless. He didn’t think he’d ever been more ready in his life. Jooheon was such a tease.

Jooheon slowly pulled out his fingers. With his clean hand he reached into his nightstand for the box of condoms he had bought not long after he and Changkyun had gotten officially together. Sitting up slightly, he shakily rolled one on and used the lube from his fingers to slick himself up. He leaned back down and stole a quick kiss before lining himself up. 

Changkyun felt his nerves spike again as Jooheon got himself ready. Oh god, this was actually happening, wasn’t it? He was beyond excited, but he was also terrified.

Jooheon leaned down and p pered gentle kisses around Changkyun’s face. A few moments later, he slowly began to push in. He kept a nervous eye on his boyfriend’s face to make sure he wasn’t in any pain.

Changkyun hissed in pain as Jooheon pushed him. No matter how much he prepared himself, the first push in always hurt.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Jooheon mumbled. He kept his hips still and continued to kiss around Changkyun’s face, especially his jawline.

"It's okay," Changkyun said quietly, "you can move, just...ow."

Jooheon rolled his hips ever so slowly. Changkyun was tight around him and it had his control wavering.

Changkyun found his head tipping back as a shaky moan left his lips. Jooheon felt so good inside him; it was all he could do to not cum right then and there.

“You’re so gorgeous, Kyunie,” Jooheon panted. It was taking all of his power not to speed up his hips.

Changkyun was going to respond but he couldn't get the words out. He was simply feeling too much.

Jooheon didn’t want to overwhelm Changkyun so he kept his hands to himself. However, his self control ended there and he began to roll his hips faster.

Changkyun moaned when Jooheon started moving faster. He couldn't help the way his entire body convulsed when the older boy finally brushed against his prostate Jooheon buried his face in Changkyun’s neck. He was already teetering on the edge, and he was doing everything he could to hang on, for his boyfriend’s sake.

Changkyun wrapped his arms around Jooheon's neck, using his grip as leverage to bury his face in his boyfriend's shoulder. "Fuck," he whimpered.

Jooheon couldn’t help himself and he snapped his hips roughly. He groaned quietly and nipped at the skin of Changkyun’s neck.

Changkyun cried out loudly, his voice muffled by Jooheon's neck. "Oh,  _ fuck _ ," he whimpered.

Jooheon didn’t hold back anymore. He kept up the faster pace and crawled closer and closer to the edge. “I-I’m close,” he panted.

"M-Me too, oh shit," Changkyun whimpered, clinging to Jooheon even tighter.

A few sharp thrusts sent Jooheon over the edge. He came with a low moan, filling the condom as his hips stuttered to a stop.

Changkyun didn't even have the time to warn Jooheon before he came hard between them, smearing both of their stomachs with sticky white.

Jooheon sat here for a while simply catching his breath. A few minutes later he untucked his head from Changkyun's neck and slowly pulled out. "I love you," he whispered softly.

Changkyun whined when Jooheon pulled out, not wanting to be jostled yet. He was still just as sensitive, if not more so, and Jooheon pulling out so soon had his cock twitching again.

Jooheon leaned down and kissed Changkyun gently. “Are you okay?” he asked for the millionth time.

“Yeah,” Changkyun said finally, chest still heaving, “I’m just o-overwhelmed.” He hadn’t even realized that he was crying.

“Oh, Kyunie,” Jooheon mumbled nervously. He kissed away the tears that had spilled from Changkyun’s eyes and were rolling down his cheeks.

Changkyun hugged Jooheon’s neck again tightly, hiding his face. He didn’t know why he was crying, just that he was. To top it off, he was still covered in sweat and cum and it all felt gross.

“Baby, I can’t clean you if you’re holding me here,” he said gently. He was more than happy to hold Changkyun in his arms as long as he needed, but he wanted to make his boyfriend comfortable first.

Changkyun sniffled and loosened his hold, allowing Jooheon to pull away from him. “I’m sorry,” he said, wiping his eyes with a small laugh, “I don’t know why that happened.”

“If it was that bad, you could have just told me,” Jooheon teased. He pushed himself off of Changkyun and disappeared down the hallway to fetch a wet washcloth.

Changkyun sat himself up against the pillow, waiting for Jooheon to come back. His legs felt like jelly.

Jooheon wiped himself off quickly and left the wash cloth on his pile of dirty clothes. He slipped into the pants he had ought into the bathroom for himself earlier. After grabbing a fresh cloth and dampening it, he snagged Changkyun’s clothes and returned to the bedroom.

Changkyun was still a little teary when Jooheon returned with a washcloth and some clean clothes. He took the rag gratefully, wiping himself down so he could get dressed in pajamas and lay with his boyfriend.

Once Changkyun was cleaned and changed, Jooheon laid down and pulled him into his arms. “I missed this,” he mumbled truthfully.

“I’m sorry for crying,” Changkyun mumbled again, “I don’t know what got into me.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Kyunie,” Jooheon said soothingly. He reached up and brushed away the hair that was covering Changkyun’s forehead.

“I promise you weren’t bad or anything,” Changkyun said, “and it doesn’t really hurt that much. I think I just got really emotional.”

“That’s okay baby. It’s been a while,” Jooheon murmured. He was much too tired to take advantage of his joking nature at the moment.

“The last time I had sex with you was like...three years ago, right?” Changkyun said, “and there wasn’t love or anything at that point, not on your end, anyway, and this time I could just feel how much you really care and it was so overwhelming.”

“Kyunie...” Jooheon murmured. Biting his lip he buried his head in his boyfriend’s neck. He really did care so much for the younger man.

“Last time wasn’t really the best for me,” Changkyun admitted quietly, “I was sixteen and I was so in love with you and all I could think about after was how you didn’t love me back.” He had never told Jooheon any of this. The older boy had been a senior then, and Changkyun a sophomore, and Changkyun had felt dumb for even thinking that a senior, especially one as popular as Jooheon, would ever fall for him. Sure, they were lifelong best friends, but there were so many other, better people that Jooheon could and had picked from. Changkyun was just a notch for Jooheon at that point and it did hurt. Once Jooheon had graduated, Changkyun made an attempt at the casual sex thing, thinking maybe he was just placing too much stake in something that wasn’t all that serious, but he simply didn’t enjoy it when there were no feelings involved. He was glad Jooheon reciprocated now.

Jooheon buried his head more. He didn't realize how much he had hurt Changkyun. He was a young, dum high schooler just looking for a little fun. He didn’t know how much he had meant to the younger man even then. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he mumbled sincerely. Now it was he who was teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

“It’s not your fault,” Changkyun said, “it’s not like I said anything. I just...I dunno, I feel like you deserved to know.”

“I’m sorry,” Jooheon mumbled again. He tightened his grip around Changkyun, too afraid of what would happen if he let go.

“My  _ point _ ,” Changkyun stressed, “was that I could feel how much you...you care about me and you love me and it made me feel really good about myself for once.”

Jooheon softened at that. He pressed a gentle kiss to the soft skin that was beneath his lips. Maybe he really was what Changkyun needed. “I hope I can make you feel good about yourself all the time,” he whispered. 

“You know that’s damn near impossible,” Changkyun murmured back, “there’ll still be days where I won’t want you to even look at me, but I know you’ll help me through them. Right?”

“Of course,” Jooheon replied immediately, “I’ll be here for everything. The good and the bad and the ups and downs. I love you so much, Changkyun, and I’m never going to let you go.” He untucked his head so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes.

Changkyun leaned forward and kissed Jooheon, slow and gentle. He felt so loved in that very moment, moreso than he ever had before in his life.

Jooheon kissed Changkyun back with all of the feelings he had in his body. He didn’t get rough, but he wanted to make sure his boyfriend knew just how much he was loved.

“We should go on a date soon,” Changkyun said, “we haven’t been in a while.”

“I’d love that,” Jooheon said eagerly, “what do you want to do? It’s still too cold out, but I’m sure we’ll find something.”

“Maybe a really belated birthday dinner date?” Changkyun suggested, “I know it was a few weeks ago, but we didn’t really do anything and we could always use the excuse to go celebrate something.”

“That sounds perfect,” Jooheon agreed. He felt bad that Changkyun wasn’t able to celebrate his birthday when it came around, but he was glad they would have the chance now.

Changkyun smiled happily and snuggled closer to Jooheon’s side. He was content.

Jooheon found himself drifting off and was asleep not long after, happy as could be with his boyfriend wrapped safely in his arms.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello just a few quick things! First is a trigger warning for the f slur in this chapter. It only occurs once during the event when Jooheon is first talking to his uncle so please be mindful if this is upsetting. Also we apologize for the abundance of typos lately. Something happened to our document and deleted some letters randomly and we aren't quite sure what happened. We tried to catch as many as possible but we obviously miss some. Please let us know if any of these typos lead to any confusion and we appreciate you for being so patient with us!!

Jooheon felt so much lighter throughout the rest of the week. They decided to go on their date on Saturday because they didn’t have any events to go to.

Changkyun was practically bouncing with excitement. They had decided to go all out for their date. They broke out their suits and made reservations at a fancy Italian restaurant. For once, Changkyun was excited to celebrate.

Changkyun’s excitement was contagious and Jooheon couldn’t stop f m beaming the whole drive to the restaurant. He hadn’t seen the younger this happy in ages and he wanted to make sure everything went absolutely perfect.

Changkyun was practically vibrating in his seat when they finally pulled up to the restaurant. It was so fancy that there was even valet service, so they were able to just walk in and be seated.

“Are you excited? Jooheon asked, a slight teasing to his tone. He was surprised Changkyun was even able to sit still with how much he had been squirming in the car.

“Of course I am,” Changkyun said, “we’ve never done something like this before.”

Jooheon’s smile faltered, but only for a moment. “No, we haven’t,” he said quietly. They had never had the opportunity to do anything for either of their birthdays let alone a dinner like this.

Changkyun held Jooheon's hand as they were led to their table. It was nice and secluded, giving them some privacy for their little celebration.

Jooheon only let go of Changkyun’s hand so he could look over his menu. When he had decided what he wanted he put down the menu and just watched his boyfriend. He always thought Changkyun was stunning, but something about the glint in his eyes and wide smile on his face made him that much more so.

Changkyun had no idea what he wanted to eat. Everything sounded so amazing. "Will you pick for me?" he requested, setting the menu down.

Jooheon rolled his eyes fondly. “Well I’m going to get pasta so why don’t you get something with meat and we can share,” he suggested.

"Pick me something with meat then," Changkyun said stubbornly, smiling the whole time.

“You are such a brat,” Jooheon mumbled. When the waiter came back over he ordered for the both of them. After handing the menus off, he reached across the table and took Changkyun’s hand in his own again.

Changkyun held Jooheon's hand tightly. "I love you," he said quietly after a minute.

“I love you too,” Jooheon whispered. He had wanted to wait until after dinner to give Changkyun his present, and he was grateful that their food came quickly so he didn’t have to wait as long. They passed the time laughing and joking together and Jooheon didn’t think he had ever seen Changkyun smile so much before.

The food was absolutely incredible. The portions were huge, so Changkyun would definitely be having leftovers; that much was inevitable. He ate until he couldn't eat any more and sat back in his seat with a groan.

Jooheon spent most of his dinner feeding Changkyun pieces of pasta but he was sure to steal a couple pieces of meat here and there. When they were both done and the waiter had come to take their leftovers to be wrapped Jooheon finally reached into his pocket. He hadn’t gotten Changkyun anything outrageous, just a nice new pair of earrings. It was the first time he was able to give his boyfriend a proper birthday present and he was beyond excited. “Happy belated birthday, Kyunie,” he said as he handed the small box over.

"Oh, Heonie, these are beautiful," Changkyun said when he cracked open the little velvet box. Carefully, he took out the earrings he was wearing and replaced them with the new ones. "How do they look?"

Jooheon smiled as he watched Changkyun switch out his earrings. “They look amazing,” he breathed, “I’m so glad you like them. I thought I was going to drive the poor jeweler crazy trying to decide which ones to get you.”

Changkyun tucked his old earrings into the box and slid it into his pocket. "I love them," he said with a small smile.

Jooheon’s smile widened. He was absolutely mesmerized by the way the earrings glinted under the lights of the restaurant. “What do you say we finish up here and get home? I got a bottle of wine for us to share and I bet we can find a good movie to watch,” he said after a few minutes.

"That sounds amazing," Changkyun said with a smile, "I'll go out and get the car if you want to take care of the bill?"

Jooheon nodded his approval and promised Changkyun he’d be out within a few minutes. After paying for their dinner, he grabbed their leftovers and went to meet Changkyun in their car. “It’s weird for you to be the one driving,” he said as he climbed into the passenger seat.

"I'm a better driver than you," Changkyun teased, "Mr. I-have-the-eyes-of-a-bat."

Jooheon pouted and stopped himself from reaching over to take Changkyun’s hand. “I can see fine now!” he said defensively.

Changkyun simply hummed. He loved teasing Jooheon; the older boy was always so cute when he was grumpy.

"I'm a good driver," Jooheon grumbled. He crossed his arms and stared out the window the rest of the drive home. He knew Changkyun was just teasing him, but he couldn't help thinking back to the conversation he had with Hyunwoo. With a quick shake of his head, he forced a pout onto his lips so his boyfriend wouldn't think he was actually upset.

"You are," Changkyun conceded, "I'm just better. Which one of us was it that had to take the exam twice?"

"Hey, that doesn't matter! I have more experience driving than you and that counts more than having to take the test again," Jooheon said. He turned back away from the window, but still wore a pout.

Changkyun rolled his eyes fondly. He parked in front of their apartment building and turned toward Jooheon. "Will you forgive me if I get drunk with you?" he asked

Jooheon looked at Changkyun for a moment. He sighed softly. "You're lucky you're cute," he said after a minute, "let's go." He leaned over to steal a quick kiss before climbing out of the car and walking up to their apartment.

Changkyun smiled to himself as he followed Jooheon upstairs. Once they were in their apartment, they quickly changed out of their suits and into pajamas.

Jooheon put the leftovers in the fridge and got changed quickly. As much as he enjoyed dressing up for Changkyun, it was nice to just lounge around in pajamas. He popped open the bottle of wine and went to join his boyfriend on the couch; there was no need for glasses.

"What kind of movie do you want?" Changkyun asked as Jooheon plopped down next to him.

"Something funny," Jooheon replied, "but I ordered us dinner so you have to pick the movie." He took a sip of wine to make sure it was satisfactory before passing the bottle to his boyfriend.

Changkyun clicked to the comedy section of their On Demand menu. "Do you want animated or live action?" he asked.

"Oh live action," Jooheon replied after a minute, "I think those are a little easier to ignore."

"I like the way you think," Changkyun said, clicking through until he found a shitty comedy movie.

Jooheonn chuckled softly and sat back on the couch. "Have you had a good belated birthday so far?" he asked conversationally.

“The best,” Changkyun said happily, “you’re so good to me.”

Jooheon smiled. “It’s what you deserve,” he said softly. They had been through so much together it was nice to finally give Changkyun a life he deserved. 

Changkyun sighed happily and leaned into Jooheon’s side. “Thank you for doing this,” he said.

“Of course, baby. I love you so much,” Jooheon murmured. He wrapped his arm around Changkyun and held him close. “But I would love you even more if you shared that bottle,” he added teasingly.

Changkyun took a sip from the bottle before handing it back to Jooheon.

Jooheon smiled victoriously and took another big sip before setting the bottle on the coffee table. “So how exactly should we ignore this movie?” he asked innocently.

“You seem like you’re well on your way,” Changkyun said, leaning forward to take the bottle back.

“I’ve only had a couple sips!” Jooheon said, completely ignoring the fact that the bottle was nearly half empty already.

“Long sips,” Changkyun said pointedly. He took another small sip and held the bottle between his legs.

“I ate a lot tonight. It’s gonna take more than a little wine to get me drunk,” Joohoen pointed out. He reached out for the bottle again to prove his point.

“Just finish the bottle on your own,” Changkyun joked.

Jooheon raised an eyebrow. “If we had another I would,” he said. Snatching the bottle from where Changkyun had put it, he took a much smaller sip this time. He held onto it for safekeeping, but leaned down to place a light kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head.

Changkyun snuggled into Jooheon’s side, content to sit there and let his boyfriend get tipsy.

Jooheon found his eyes straying from the movie and continued to sip on the wine. He didn’t realize the bottle was empty until he went to take another sip and there was none. “What do we do now?” he whined as he put the bottle on the table.

Changkyun rolled his eyes. "There's another bottle in the cabinet above the stove," he said, having prepared for this situation.

Jooheon’s eyes lit up. “There is?” he asked excitedly. He was about to get up when he realized he was practically being trapped against the couch by Changkyun. “I can’t get up to get it,” he whined desperately.

Changkyun relented and pulled away so that Jooheon could get up and get his precious alcohol.

Jooheon smiled victoriously and stood up from the couch. The wine was starting to hit him and he wobbled a little bit before he got his bearings. He took calculated steps into the kitchen to get the wine and back so that Changkyun wouldn’t make fun of him. He unscrewed the cap and took a sip before offering the bottle to his boyfriend.

"Any reason for your baby steps, Jooheonnie?" Changkyun asked as he raised the bottle to his lips.

“No,” Jooheon said quickly, “I’m just taking my time. No need to rush ya know?” He sat back and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. Every time he got tipsy, without fail, he became incredibly cuddly.

Changkyun rolled his eyes fondly and shook his head. "You're just a drunk little leech, aren't you?" he said.

“I’m not drunk and I’m not a leech!” Jooheon said defensively, “I’m tipsy at best and more like a koala.” He snuggled a little closer to Changkyun, careful not to knock into the bottle his boyfriend was still holding.

"Sure, babe," Changkyun said agreeably. He wrapped an arm around Jooheon's back.

Jooheon hummed happily. “You know we haven’t really done the best job at ignoring the TV,” he said, turning his head to look up at his boyfriend.

"That's not my fault," Changkyun said, "you're the one that keeps zoning out on it.” 

Jooheon pouted. “I’m ready now,” he whined. He reached to play with Changkyun’s new earrings; they really did look good on his boyfriend.

“Ready for what?” Changkyun asked. He knew Jooheon wanted to ignore the movie, but he wasn’t sure how exactly his boyfriend intended on doing that.

“I want a kiss,” Jooheon whined, “we have to end your birthday off on a good note. I would have made brownies or something but I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”

Changkyun pecked Jooheon’s lips carefully. “There, is that better?” he asked.

“Much,” Jooheon said. A small frown slipped onto his face as he continued to play with Changkyun’s earrings. “Kyunie, are you positive you like these ones?” he asked uncertainly, “I can get you different ones if you don’t like these ones.” He knew his boyfriend already said he liked them, but he wanted to make sure he wasn’t just saying that.

"Yes, Heonie," Changkyun said, "they're beautiful. I probably won't wear them that often, but it's just because I don't want them to get lost or something."

Jooheon nodded. “That’s fine, baby. They’re yours to do whatever you want with. I’m just happy you like them,” he said. A smile crept back onto his face and he hid his face in his boyfriend’s neck.

"Where is all this insecurity coming from all of a sudden?" Changkyun asked, pausing the movie so he could focus entirely on his boyfriend.

Jooheon whined quietly and tried to hide his face more. “I just wanted to make sure you actually liked these ones and weren’t just saying it because we were out,” he mumbled, voice muffled, “you deserve a present you like for your birthday.”

"I love them, baby, don't worry," Cha kyun assured Jooheon.

Jooheon smiled softly “I’m really glad you love them” he mumbled. He knew today was about Changkyun, but he couldn’t help feeling good at the fact that he had made his boyfriend happy.

"The only thing I love more is you," Changkyun said with a cheesy smile.

“Kyunie, don’t say stuff like that,” Jooheon whined. He felt his cheeks heating up and he kept his head hidden. Between the wine and his boyfriend’s cheesiness he didn’t stand a chance at hiding the blush.

"I can't help it," Changkyun said, "you're just too damn cute."

“I’m not cute!” Jooheo argued, “you’re the cute one.” It was true. Of the two of them, Changkyun was undoubtedly the cuter one.

"You're so cute," Changkyun said, "I could just eat you up."

Jooheon pulled back and smacked Changkyun on the shoulder. “Then why don’t you,” he said with a pout and crossed arms.

"Because you're drunk," Changkyun said, "I don't eat drunk people, no matter how cute they are."

“I’m not drunk; I’m tipsy” Jooheon said again. He huffed again and eyed the new bottle that Changkyun was still holding.

"You're drunk," Changkyun said resolutely. "I think it's time to put this away," he added, brandishing the bottle.

“No!” Jooheon cried. He reached for the bottle much like an uncoordinated toddler. “I’m fine!” he added. Sure he might have been slurring his words a little, but it wasn’t nearly bad enough to cut him off.

"If I give you the bottle, you have to sleep out here tonight," Changkyun said, holding the wine up.

“You wouldn’t,” Jooheon gasped. He debated for a moment, but quickly realized that Changkyun was worth giving the wine up. He let his hands fall into his lap and hung his head. “Fine,” he grumbled.

Changkyun grinned and screwed the top back onto the bottle. "Let's go to bed," he said.

Jooheon stood up quickly and nearly toppled over in his haste. He grabbed onto Changkyun for support. “Whoops,” he said with a giggle.

Changkyun rolled his eyes and helped Jooheon to their bedroom. "You're so adorable when you're drunk," he said.

Jooheon was about to argue that he wasn’t drunk, but the way he had to lean on Changkyun for support probably wouldn’t help his case. Instead he simply whined in response and focused on not falling over. He all but toppled into bed and opened his arms for his boyfriend. “Come cuddle with me,” he begged.

Changkyun flopped down next to Jooheon. "There's so many other things I'd do now if you weren’t drunk," he murmured.

Jooheon frowned. He didn’t mean to get drunk. He just wanted to have a little fun with boyfriend and here he was. “I’m sorry for ruining your night,” he mumbled miserably. He had been so close to making today absolutely perfect and of course he had to go and fuck it up right at the end.

"You didn't ruin my night, baby," Changkyun said, "just because it went differently than expected doesn't mean it was ruined."

“But I should have made sure it went how you wanted it to,” Jooheon said. He wrapped his arms around himself and kept his eyes down.

Changkyun sighed and pulled Jooheon into his arms. "You are perfect and everything you do is perfect," he said, "it may not have been the night I expected, but it was even better."

Jooheon pouted, not believing Changkyun in the slightest. He tried his head in his boyfriend’s neck again. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I promise,” he said sincerely.

"You have nothing to make up for," Changkyun said soothingly.

“But you just said there was stuff you wanted to do,” Jooheon pointed out, “I have to make it up to you.” He left no room for negotiation in his voice.

“Sure, you can suck my dick tomorrow,” Changkyun said with a shrug.

Jooheon paused for a moment but quickly found himself smirking into Changkyun’s neck. “Are you sure you want to wait til tomorrow for that?” he asked coyly. He nipped gently at the skin below his lips.

“I want to wait until you’re not drunk, yes,” Changkyun said, tipping his head down to kiss Jooheon properly.

Jooheon didn’t have time to protest before his boyfriend was kissing him. He eagerly deepened the kiss, trying to at least have a little fun. His efforts were sloppy at best, but he wasn’t too concerned.

“Heonie, Heonie, stop it,” Changkyun said, pulling away with a laugh, “you’re so messy.”

Jooheon pouted at Changkyun. “I just want you to be able to have a little fun still,” he said.

“Tomorrow,” Changkyun promised, “after you sleep it off.”

“Fine , fine. Let’s go to bed then,” Jooheon said. He laid down properly and tugged his boyfriend down against him.

Changkyun settled against Jooheon. “You’re perfect for me, y’know that?” he asked.

Jooheon hid his face again. He almost disagreed, saying that there was probably someone out there better than him, but luckily the sober part of his brain held his tongue. It wouldn’t be good to admit that fear of his, especially tonight. Instead he simply murmured a sincere “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Changkyun mumbled, pressing a kiss to Jooheon’s head, “Thank you for an amazing birthday.”

Jooheon smiled softly. “I’m really glad you enjoyed today. Next year we'll celebrate on your actual birthday,” he said. He stifled a yawn and crowded closer to his boyfriend.

“And we’ll actually be able to celebrate yours this year,” Changkyun said quietly. They had never done that before.

“We don’t have to do anything fancy,” Jooheon said quickly. His birthday had never been a big deal, even when he was younger, and he was more than fine with keeping it that way.

“We’ll talk about it when we get there,” Changkyun said.

“Okay,” Jooheon said apprehensively. He was glad Changkyun dropped it; he was much too tired. He yawned again and let his eyes fall closed.

As much fun as Changkyun had had on their date, he was actually looking forward to this weekend’s event. It was Hyunwoo’s company’s event and they would finally get to see the older man in his element. Plus, he had been promised amazing food.

Jooheon was much more relaxed going to this event now that he had Changkyun with him. His boyfriend had been feeling much better late and it had helped lift both of their moods. They had become pros at getting ready and actually had to wait a few minutes for Hyunwoo to arrive when the weekend finally rolled around.

Hyunwoo could tell that the boys were much more excited about his event than they had been about the previous ones and his heart swelled a little with pride. They had arrived at the venue a little early, to make sure everything was in order for when the guests arrived. Soon enough, the party was fully underway and they were all mingling.

Jooheon had gone with Hyungwon to talk to the producer he had met at the last event. When they were done talking, he made his way back through the crowd to find Changkyun. He didn’t get very far before he heard a vaguely familiar voice call his name. He whipped around and froze when he came face to face with someone he never thought he would have to see again.

“Lee Jooheon,” his uncle drawled, approaching him slowly, “fancy running into you here. Last I knew, you were just a poor little street rat. How’d you make it into such an elite event? Sell some...assets?” His eyes scanned the boy pointedly.

Jooheon took a few steps back. He took a shaky breath; this couldn’t be happening. “A-A friend invited m-me,” he said shakily, “w-what are y-you doing here?”

“Me?” His uncle asked loftily, “I’m the highest paying investor in the whole damn company! Our family has had years of good fortune ever since we dumped your faggot ass on the sidewalk.” He smiled cruelly.

Jooheon flinched away and turned his head down. “Investor?” he choked out. No, no, his uncle couldn’t be involved with Hyunwoo’s company; he just couldn’t. It was like a sick, twisted turn of fate. All he wanted to do was run through the crowd and find Changkyun so they could go home, but for some reason he couldn’t move. His body was frozen in fear and he was stuck listening to his uncle belittle him once again.

Before Jooheon’s uncle could speak again, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. “I believe your wife was looking for you,” he said evenly, “she’s quite intoxicated.” The man grumbled and wandered off, leaving Hyunwoo with a frozen Jooheon. “C’mon,” he murmured, guiding the boy with a hand on his back, “let’s get you some fresh air.”

Jooheon let himself be blindly let through the crowd. He didn’t even register who was pulling him away, just that he was finally away from his uncle. He tried to speak, tried desperately to call for Changkyun, but all he could muster was a distressed whimper.

Hyunwoo led Jooheon to a secluded hallway outside of the ballroom the event was in and sat him down on a bench. He intended to send a message to Changkyun, asking for his help, but remembered that he still didn’t have the younger boy’s number. It was just him and Jooheon now.

Jooheon took a hard seat on the bench and buried his head in his hands. His chest was tight and it was getting harder and harder to breath. Eventually he couldn’t hold himself together anymore and he sobbed softy into his hands. Where was Changkyun? He just needed his boyfriend so he could go home.

Hyunwoo wished he had a better idea of what was helpful for Jooheon, but he was running into this blind, so he just did his best. He sat next to the boy, holding him loosely in case he wanted to pull away and letting him cry into his jacket.

Jooheon jumped when someone wrapped their arms around him, and subconsciously leaned into them. He quickly realized it wasn’t Changkyun, they were bigger and much more solid, and pulled away. He was surprised but relieved to see Hyunwoo and not some stranger sitting next to him. He quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, but it didn’t help. “Hyung, I’m so...I’m sorry,” he choked out. He was so embarrassed. This was Hyunwoo’s event and instead of being inside enjoying it, he was out here comforting him. That wasn’t fair at all. On top of that, his suit jacket now had a wet spot from where Jooheon had buried his face.

“You’re okay, Jooheon-ah,” Hyunwoo said calmly, “I needed a break from the event anyway.” He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and produced a napkin for Jooheon to use.

Jooheon took the napkin with shaky hands. He dried his eyes and blew his nose; he felt like a child. He clutched the soiled napkin in his hands and hid his face again. “I’m so sorry,” he said again, “I’m okay. I’ll be back in in a few minutes.” The thought of going back in and possibly seeing his uncle again had him shaking. Now he was on the verge of tears again and his breathing was shaky.

“If you don’t mind my asking, how do you know that man?” Hyunwoo asked carefully, “you seemed terrified of him.”

“H-he’s my uncle,” Jooheon replied, voice breaking, “he was the one that c-convinced my parents to throw me on the s-streets.” Against his will, his mind was dragging him back through that day. The day he begged his parents to let him stay, promised them he would do whatever they wanted, but they listened to his uncle and turned on him anyway; them and the rest of his family. He let out a strangled whimper as more tears slid down his cheeks.

“Oh, Jooheon, I’m so sorry,” Hyunwoo said, a little shocked. “Why don’t you text Changkyunnie to meet us out here?” he suggested, “I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

Jooheon sniffed loud. “It’s alright, hyung,” he said miserably. He pulled out his phone and typed a message to Changkyun explaining where he was. His fingers were so shaky that the message was littered with typos, but it was still understandable.

Hyunwoo texted Hyungwon, asking him to come and sit with Jooheon while he went to handle the situation. Once the tall boy showed up, Hyunwoo ducked out to find the man that had made Jooheon so upset.

Jooheon was grateful that Hyungwon didn’t ask any questions and even more that Hyunwoo was getting back to his event. He hadn’t gotten a text back from Changkyun and he just hoped his boyfriend was on his way.

Hyunwoo stalked over to the man, pulling him away from his conversation none too gently. Hoseok was watching them out of the corner of his eye and he motioned for the younger man to join them. “Hoseok here is going to take you and your lovely wife on a walk out to your car,” he said, kindness clearly faked, “you’ll see an invoice from us returning all of your investments on Monday and I’ll see to it that you never do business in our industry again.” He whirled around and stalked off toward Jooheon before the man could even ask.

Jooheon looked up when he heard footsteps and watched Hyunwoo step back into the room. The older man didn’t look happy at all and that made Jooheon feel incredibly guilty. He didn't mean to ruin the night; he really didn’t. “Hyung, I-I really am s-sorry,” he apologized meekly.

Hyunwoo's face softened. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Jooheon-ah,” he said, “we won’t be doing business with that man any longer.”

Jooheon’s eyes widened. “Hyung, you can’t…you can’t do that. He’s your biggest investor. Your business...,” he rambled. This couldn’t be happening. All because of him? That didn’t make sense.

“We don’t do business with people like that,” Hyunwoo said, disgusted, “I’ve been looking for a reason to cut him out for months, Jooheonie, don’t worry about it.”

Jooheon was taken back. “Hyung, I don’t...I don’t understand. What he did to me doesn’t affect you,” he said, slightly confused.

“Maybe not directly, but that doesn’t mean I want to continue working with him,” Hyunwoo said, “I heard what he said to you and I refuse to continue working with someone who believes such horrible things.”

Jooheon sat in stunned silence. No one had ever stood up to his family for him before. It was surreal really. His uncle wasn’t even wrong and Hyunwoo still refused to continue working with him, no questions asked. He didn’t know what to do or even what to think so he simply sat there quietly trying to wrap his head around everything.

Hyunwoo checked his watch. “There’s only about a half an hour left,” he said, “let’s fine Changkyun and I’ll take the two of you home, alright?”

Jooheon opened his mouth to argue, but he knew Hyunwoo wouldn’t listen. Instead he nodded and shakily pushed himself up from the bench. “He didn’t see my text so I don’t know where he is,” he said quietly.

“Hang out here with Hyungwonnie, I’ll go find him,” Hyunwoo said. He headed back into the ballroom, looking over everyone’s heads to try and find the youngest boy. After a few minutes, he spotted Changkyun trying to ignore a very insistent investor. “My apologies, I need to borrow my friend here,” Hyunwoo said with a smile as he stepped up to the pair and steered Changkyun away.

Jooheon scuffed his shoes against the floor and kept his eyes down. He only looked up when he heard a pair of footsteps approaching and sighed in relief when he saw Changkyun. “Kyunie,” he whispered as he crossed the room and enveloped his boyfriend in a hug.

Hyunwoo gave the boys a minute, calling his driver in the meantime.

Jooheon held onto Changkyun tightly and buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled.

“The car’s out front,” Hyunwoo said, “we can talk on the ride home, alright?”

Jooheon pulled away from Changkyun and gripped onto his boyfriend’s hand tightly. He only let go to climb into Hyunwoo’s car when they got outside. Once they were seated, he promptly intertwined their fingers again. It was the only thing still holding him together.

“What happened?” Changkyun asked, dabbing at Jooheon’s face with a napkin.

“I...I saw my uncle,” Jooheon replied shakily. Thankfully, he didn’t need to explain further because Changkyun already knew the whole story about what he had done.

“Oh, Heonie,” Changkyun said sadly, “I’m sorry, my phone died or I would’ve come earlier.”

“It’s okay. Hyunwoo hyung helped me,” Jooheon said quietly. He wasn’t quite sure what would have happened if Hyunwoo hadn’t found him when he did.

“Thank you hyung,” Changkyun said sincerely.

Jooheon nodded. “Thank you, hyung,” he echoed, “no one’s ever really stood up to my family before. Especially for me so I really really appreciate it.” He kept his eyes on his hand that was still holding onto Changkyun’s tightly.

“I’m sorry that your family treated you so horribly,” Hyunwoo said quietly, “you deserve better than them.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. “I have better than them now,” he said, giving Changkyun’s hand a squeeze, “I’m sorry I reacted like that. I just didn’t expect to see him. The comments he made weren’t even that harsh.” He hung his head as the insults his uncle had thrown at him all throughout his childhood swam through his mind.

“Even if they weren’t that harsh, it’s still something traumatic,” Hyunwoo said gently, “even the lightest of words can retraumatize you. He doesn’t even have to actually insult you to invoke a traumatic response.”

Jooheon nodded. Hyunwoo was right, it was certainly traumatizing to see his uncle again. “Thank you for being so understanding,” he said sincerely.

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said as the car pulled up in front of the apartment building.

“I’m really sorry to take you away from your event early, but I appreciate you bringing us home,” Jooheon said, “is there any way I can make this up to you?”

“It’s fine, I never usually stay until the end of the event anyway,” Hyunwoo said. It was a bit of a lie, but the boys didn’t need to do that.

That made Jooheon feel a little bit better. “Thank you again, hyung,” he said quietly. After bidding their goodbyes, he climbed out of the car and walked with Changkyun up to their apartment. He really needed a hot shower.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Changkyun asked as they stepped into the apartment.

Jooheon exhaled shakily. “I think so,” he said uncertainly, “I think I just need a hot shower and to sleep it off. To be honest, I’m more surprised about Hyunwoo. He said he wouldn’t be doing business with my uncle anymore even though he’s a top investor. I just can’t believe Hyunwoo dropped him over one comment that wasn’t even a lie.”

“What did he even say to you?” Changkyun asked uncertainly.

Jooheon hung his head. “He said that my whole family has been doing so much better since they threw me on the streets. And it’s true if he ended up as a top investor in Hyunwoo’s company. Who knows how my parents are doing, but I assume about the same,” he replied.

“That’s correlation, not causation,  _ if _ it’s even true,” Changkyun said, “and Hyunwoo hyung’s right anyway. They always treated you like shit and you’re better off without them. Plus, given what prompted them to kick you out, he would’ve been dropped as an investor eventually anyway. At least now, hyung isn’t being blindsided by it.”

Jooheon nodded along; Changkyun was absolutely right. “I just hope their business doesn’t suffer,” he mumbled.

“He always tells us how he’s drowning in disposable income,” Changkyun said with a shrug, “at worst, he’ll have to shrink our allowance a bit. As long as the three of them own over half of the company together, they’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Jooheon mumbled again. At this point he was much too exhausted to take a shower so he simply disappeared into his room to get changed.

Changkyun sighed and followed Jooheon into the bedroom. He really hoped his boyfriend would be okay.

Jooheon laid down and dragged Changkyun down with him. He wasted no time wrapping himself around his boyfriend and burying his face in his neck. 


	19. Chapter 19

Over the next few days Jooheon started to feel better and pushed the interaction with his uncle as far in the back of his mind as he could. One day he texted Hyunwoo asking him if he had some free time so they could meet. He wanted to properly thank the older man in person now that he was a lot calmer.

Hyunwoo was surprised that Jooheon had asked to meet with him. He replied positively, suggesting a small local cafe after he left work on Thursday.

Jooheon agreed to meet with Hyunwoo and soon found himself walking into the cafe they agreed upon. He found Hyunwoo sitting in a back corner and approached the older man. “Hi, hyung,” he greeted quietly.

“Hey, Jooheonie,” Hyunwoo said, “how have you been?” He pushed a mug of hot chocolate across the table to the boy.

Jooheon mumbled a quiet thanks and took the warm mug between his hands. “A lot better. I just wanted to thank you properly for everything you did for me on Saturday. You don’t understand how much that meant to me,” he said. He dropped his eyes and stared at the whip cream that was slowly melting off of his hot chocolate.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” Hyunwoo said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

“No, I do,” Jooheon said firmly, “you didn’t have to help me. You didn’t have to stay with me after you pulled me into the hallway. And you  _ especially _ didn’t have to lose your biggest investor because a comment he made that wasn’t even a lie, but you did. The least I can do is thank you.”

“Biggest outside investor,” Hyunwoo corrected, “the three of us still own three quarters of the company and his shares only made up five percent. I’ve already resold them to someone much more worthy of them. You don’t need to worry about any of that.”

Jooheon sighed in relief; at least he knew Hyunwoo’s business was okay. “That makes me feel a bit better,” he admitted. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I know I said this the other day, but no one has ever done anything like this for me. Changkyun’s been by my side through the worst of it, but he couldn’t stick up to my family like you did. Even after all the problems I caused you still helped.” He paused and shook his head. “I still don’t understand why you did it, but I really appreciate it. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there.”

Hyunwoo sighed, thinking deeply about how to respond. “It struck a chord in me, I think,” he said, “even before I overheard was he was saying, I could tell that he was harassing you and it made me think of all the times Hoseok and Kihyun and I were harassed in the beginning and told we would never make it in this industry. And once you said he was your uncle, that struck a whole different chord. You and I both lost our families very young and I know what it’s like to be suddenly retraumatized out of nowhere.”

Jooheon clutched the mug a little tighter. “I’ve never had someone understand let alone sympathize with me. It’s weird. Usually when people find out what happened they use it against me. That’s why I don’t really let people into my life,” he admitted quietly. It was so stupid to be saying all of this out loud but he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. He owed Hyunwoo an apology for acting so resistant so at least this was a good start.

“Anyone who does that isn’t worth having in your life anyway,” Hyunwoo said firmly, “same with anyone who won’t make accommodations for you. After the accident first happened, I couldn’t even get into a car without freaking out so Hoseok walked with me everywhere. When we finally got to college, it was Kihyun that helped me finally work through it because he had a car of his own. He made me work through it incrementally, first sitting in the car with it off then with it on, then in drive but not moving. I can’t even begin to imagine how much gas he wasted driving me in tiny little circles around the parking lot. It took about two years before I was totally fine with riding and driving, but even now I still have moments where if I see a bad accident or I have a close call, I can’t stomach being in a car for like a week. I live close to the office just in case I need to walk to work. Anyone who isn’t willing to help you when you’re down isn’t someone you should waste time on.”

“I’m glad you have Hoseok hyung and Kihyun hyung,” Jooheon said softly. He took a small sip of hot chocolate and hummed. “Changkyun’s all I’ve had for so long it’s weird to have someone else to confide in that I know isn’t going to fuck me over.” He wasn’t sure if he necessarily trusted Hyunwoo completely, but he finally understood that the older man really did care about them.

“I should mention that it took Kihyun a good year of convincing to get me to even consider getting in a car with him to begin with,” Hyunwoo added with a small smile. Although he had been terrified at the time, it was all fond memories now.

“Oh wow,” Jooheon mumbled. He wasn’t really sure what to say so he took another sip of hot chocolate instead.

“What I’m trying to say is that I understand a lot more of what you and Changkyun have been through than you may realize,” Hyunwoo said, “and I hope we can put our differences behind us now.”

Jooheon nodded and finally braved looking up. “Yes, please,” he said almost desperately, “I don’t...I don’t want to fight you anymore.”

Hyunwoo could agree to that. “Clean slate,” he proposed, “let’s just start over.”

Jooheon nodded his agreement. “Thank you, hyung,” he said. They finished their drinks not long after. He felt a lot lighter, almost as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Hey, actually, we’re celebrating Hoseok’s birthday next weekend if you and Changkyun want to come,” Hyunwoo offered, “it’s really lowkey; we usually just go to a noraebang and get drunk. I know he’d love to have you.”

Jooheon paused for a moment. “That sounds fun. I’ll talk to Kyunie but I’m sure he’d love to go,” he said. He smiled softly; hopefully this could be a good new start to their relationship.

“Great,” Hyunwoo said, eyes crinkling up as he smiled, “I’ll get you the details once I know for certain.”

Jooheon found a small smile pulling at his own lips; Hyunwoo looked so much younger when he smiled. “That sounds perfect. Thanks again, hyung,” he said.

A week later found Hyunwoo waiting outside the noraebang for Jooheon and Changkyun. The others were inside already, getting a head start on drinks.

Jooheon walked side by side with Changkyun towards the entrance. He waved to Hyunwoo as he got closer. He told Changkyun all about their meeting and how they were on much better terms. Hopefully that could help improve their relationship all around.

Hyunwoo greeted the boys happily and led them inside to the room they had taken over. It was a sizable room, made for parties like theirs, and everyone else was already invading the mini fridge of drinks.

Jooheon made sure to greet Hoseok before grabbing himself and Changkyun a drink. After that he wandered through the crowd looking for Hyungwon.

Hyunwoo grabbed a beer and settled himself on the couch, simply watching. After a while, they finally decided to start doing karaoke, with Kihyun shoving his way to the microphone first.

Jooheon sat on the couch next to Hyungwon and dragged Changkyun onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and peered around him to watch Kihyun.

Changkyun looped one arm around Jooheon’s neck, leaning on the wall behind him so he wasn’t hunched over. When Kihyun started to sing, his eyes widened. “He’s really good,” he said.

“Damn. He really is,” Jooheon murmured, “maybe one day if I make it big we could collab.” It was wishful thinking, but it was nice to dream.

“You should rap for your turn,” Changkyun mumbled, laying his head on top of Jooheon’s, “I’ve never seen you rap before.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’m not sure if Hoseok hyung would really enjoy that,” Jooheon said. He knew Hyungwon and Hyunwoo would like his music, but he couldn’t speak for the rest of them. He also didn’t want to risk disappointing Changkyun.

“By the time it gets to us, everyone will be drunk anyway,” Changkyun said, “cmon, Heonie, I really wanna see you do it.”

Jooheon shifted nervously. “What if I disappoint you?” he whined quietly.

“You could never,” Changkyun said, kissing Jooheon’s cheek sweetly. Kihyun finally finished singing and Hoseok was trying to get Hyunwoo to go up and take over, but the man was adamantly refusing.

Jooheon huffed quietly. “You’re too much,” he said. He watched Hyunwoo and Hoseok wondering if the younger of the two would be able to convince Hyunwoo to go up.

“Hoseok, no,” Hyunwoo protested, “I’m not even good.” Hoseok pouted at him. “The point isn’t to be good!” he said, “the point is almost to be bad!” With a sigh, Hyunwoo got out of his seat and took the microphone.

Jooheon tightened his grip around Changkyun and leaned against his boyfriend. He was shocked to say the least when Hyunwoo started singing. For someone who was at least tipsy and claimed to not be good he didn’t sound too bad.

“You should go next,” Changkyun said, “everyone’s already on their third drink and we haven’t even been here for an hour.”

“Kyunie,” Jooheon whined in protest. He sank deep into the couch and hid behind his boyfriend.

“Nuh uh,” Changkyun said as Hyunwoo finished up his song, “you’re going.” He even got up and went to grab another drink.

“Changkyun, get back here,” Jooheon hissed. He crossed his arms and dropped his eyes wishing he could become invisible.

“Jooheon wants to go next,” Changkyun announced. He smiled sweetly at his boyfriend and took a long sip from the beer he had grabbed before plopping down between Hyunwoo and Minhyuk.

Jooheon’s eyes shot up and he glared at his boyfriend. “No, no, I don’t sing,” he said hurriedly.

“He raps though,” Hyungwon piped up, smirking, “c’mon, Jooheon-ah.”

Jooheon shot Hyungwon a look of betrayal. He looked between the pairs of expectant eyes and regretfully pushed himself off the couch. He grabbed the microphone and selected a song he knew well from the machine. He wasn’t going to let Changkyun or Hyungwon get away with this.

Changkyun was so in awe when Jooheon started rapping. It was like he became a completely different person. There were no traces of his soft Heonie in sight and it was so  _ hot. _

Jooheon was relieved when the song was finally over. He put the microphone down and scuttled back to his spot next to Hyungwon. “That wasn’t cool,” he grumbled as he sat back down. He was too nervous to look at Changkyun so he stared at his hands.

“You were so good though!” Hyungwon said, tossing an arm around Jooheon and ruffling his hair, “I think you  _ really _ got to Changkyunnie. He looks like he could eat you alive.”

Jooheon groaned and did his best to escape Hyungwon’s grasp. He looked up at his boyfriend and sure enough he was wearing an unmistakable look of being turned on. He gestured for Changkyun to come back over and sit with him.

Changkyun immediately got up and dropped himself down on Jooheon’s lap. “Don’t do that anymore,” he said, “it’s too hot.”

Jooheon chuckled and wrapped his arms around Changkyun. “I’m glad you liked it, but I’m still mad at you,” he teased.

“You gonna take it out on me later?” Changkyun whispered conspiratorially, completely ignoring Hyungwon sitting next to them.

Jooheon smirked. “Absolutely,” he replied coyly, “you’re going to regret your little stunt.”

“Hey, it was Hyungwon too,” Changkyun said defensively, “and I think everyone’s a little turned on.”

Jooheon smacked Changkyun’s shoulder. “Knock it off,” he grumbled, “don’t worry I’m mad at Hyungwon too and he’ll get what’s coming to him.” He glared at his friend pointedly.

“He better get something different,” Changkyun mumbled, a little jealous. He knew Jooheon was his but he was a little too tipsy to fully remember.

Jooheon couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry, Kyunie, he’s gonna get something much different,” he promised. He pulled his boyfriend closer and snatched the drink out of his hand. Changkyun was already well past tipsy and Jooheon was absolutely not drunk enough yet.

Changkyun whined and made grabby hands for the drink. “That’s mine,” he said with a pout, crossing his arms childishly.

Jooheon chuckled and took a large sip, nearly finishing it. “And? I think you’re cut off for now, mister,” he teased. Changkyun was absolutely adorable when he was drunk, and he definitely was judging by the way his cheeks had begun to flush.

“I’m not drunk,” Changkyun whined, “just a little tipsy. I’m totally fine!”

“Uh huh, sure, babe, whatever you say,” Jooheon said, finishing the drink. He put it down and held up three fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?” he asked.

“Three,” Changkyun said proudly, “I’m tipsy, not stupid.”

Jooheon rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t mean you can see straight,” he said, “would you be a doll and get me another drink? I might consider lessening your punishment later.”

Changkyun physically cringed. “God, don’t call me that,” he muttered as he got up. He grabbed two drinks out of the cooler, one for each of them.

“Thank you,” Jooheon said. He snagged the bottle opener from the table next to them and cracked both drinks open. Despite his better judgment, he handed Changkyun’s back to him.

Changkyun smiled sweetly and took a long sip of his drink. “Thanks, babe,” he said happily.

Jooheon rolled his eyes and pulled Changkyun back into his lap. He finished his drink off much too quickly, but sent his boyfriend off for another one. He was definitely feeling the alcohol now and one more would put him in the perfect spot.

Changkyun stumbled a little as he got to the cooler and ended up falling back onto the bench. Except it wasn’t a bench, it was someone’s lap. “Hi there,” he said, a little flirtatiously, not quite sure who he was sitting on.

Jooheon was laughing with Hyungwon when out of the corner of his eye he saw Changkyun trip. He jumped to his feet, albeit a bit unsteadily, and was glad that Changkyun landed on the couch. What he wasn’t glad about was the fact that he landed on top of Hyunwoo on the couch. “Oh no,” he muttered. He carefully walked over to the pair and grabbed onto his boyfriend’s arm to help him up. “I’m sorry, hyung,” he apologized to Hyunwoo as clearly as he could manage.

“Jooheonie,” Changkyun slurred, clinging to his boyfriend, “hyung is really comfy, you should try it.”

Jooheon’s eyes widened. He really should have cut Changkyun off when he had the chance. “I don’t think Hyunwoo hyung wants you on his lap,” he said desperately. He tried to pull his boyfriend up, but he couldn’t manage it and nearly toppled onto the couch himself.

Changkyun all but yanked Jooheon down with him. “I don’t think hyung minds,” he mumbled, “hyung, do you mind?” He wasn’t even looking at Hyunwoo when he asked.

“Shit, Kyunie,” Jooheon said with a gasp as he was pulled down onto Hyunwoo’s lap. He scrambled to push himself off and managed to grab Hyunwoo’s thigh in the process. By the time he had pushed himself onto the spot on the bench next to Hyunwoo he was reeling. The older man’s thighs were so firm and Jooheon almost wished he held on a little longer. With a shake of his head, he pushed the thought away; maybe he needed to be cut off too.

Changkyun pouted as he was dragged along with Jooheon. He quickly perked up though; his boyfriend’s thighs were just as comfy.

“Alright, you’re cut off for real this time,” Jooheon said, panting. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held him tightly so he couldn’t get up and fall into any more people’s laps.

Changkyun hummed and kissed Jooheon’s cheekbone sloppily. “Why’re you so soft?” he asked.

“Kyunie, stop it,” Jooheon whined, turning his face away from his boyfriend. He was hyper aware of Hyunwoo sitting next to them, but he wasn’t sure if the elder was even paying attention.

Changkyun reached up and pinched Jooheon’s cheek. “Love your chubby cheeks,” he said, giving him another kiss.

Jooheon groaned, but didn’t pull away. “You are so clingy when you’re drunk,” he mumbled. He really shouldn’t be one to talk; he had pulled Changkyun even closer to him so they were practically nose to nose.

Changkyun nearly went cross eyed trying to see his boyfriend. Eventually, he gave up and chose to kiss him instead.

Jooheon hummed and sloppily kissed his boyfriend back. He was just drunk enough that this slight distraction made it easy to forget they were in a room full of people. Eventually he pulled away from his boyfriend, giggling happily.

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened as he watched Changkyun and Jooheon make out, practically on top of him. Well. That confirmed that.

“You are gonna get us sent home,” Jooheon said with a laugh. He stared up at Changkyun and smiled fondly as he simply watched his boyfriend, or tried to at least.

Changkyun simply hummed and kissed Jooheon again, harder this time. Next to them, Hyunwoo was wondering if sending them home now might actually be a good idea.

Jooheon let Changkyun have a moment of fun before pushing his boyfriend away again. “Save this for when we get home, Kyunie,” he said. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and just caught Kihyun across the room look away and pull Minhyuk closer to himself.

Hyunwoo sighed loudly and groaned as he stood. “Alright, you two, that’s enough,” he said, “let me take you home.”

“See I told you so,” Jooheon grumbled. He pushed Changkyun off of himself and stood up from the bench. With a bit of effort he got his boyfriend to stand up and did the best to support the both of them to Hyunwoo’s car.

Hyunwoo ended up having to keep both Jooheon and Changkyun from falling on their faces multiple times in the five minute walk to his car. “Please don’t throw up,” he said once he got them securely in the back seat.

“I won’t,” Jooheon promised. He was relatively good at holding his liquor, but he couldn’t speak for his boyfriend.

“‘M fine,” Changkyun mumbled, laying down with his head in Jooheon’s lap, “won’t be fine t’morrow.”

“That’s true,” Jooheon mumbled. He combed his fingers through Changkyun’s hair slowly. At one point he glanced up and frowned when he saw the odd look on Hyunwoo’s face. The older man looked almost disappointed and Jooheon wished he had cut them both off sooner.

Hyunwoo pulled up in front of the boys’ apartment building and parked with a small sigh. “Do you need help getting upstairs?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” Jooheon admitted sheepishly. He could barely get himself up those stairs let alone him and Changkyun.

Hyunwoo had almost hoped the answer would be no. He turned off the car and got out, helping the boys out and into the building. Once they were in the elevator, he let them teeter around on their own for a minute before he had to shepherd them to their door and into the apartment.

Jooheon leaned on Hyunwoo the whole way up to their apartment. He was impressed by how sturdy the older man was. Both of them were using him as a support and he acted like they weren’t even there. Jooheon was so distracted that it took him a few moments to realize they were in their apartment.

“Are you good now or do you still need help?” Hyunwoo asked. He hadn’t had much to drink, but he had a raging headache and really just wanted to get home.

“We’re okay now. Thank you, hyung,” Jooheon said. He wrapped an arm around Changkyun’s waist to keep him upright.

“Alright,” Hyunwoo said, “I’ll see you next weekend then.” With that, he took his leave.

Jooheon didn’t have time to feel embarrassed. He was too focused on getting him and Changkyun changed and in bed, which turned out to be quite the uncoordinated endeavor.

Hyunwoo drove home in a daze. God, how could he be so stupid?  _ Obviously _ , Jooheon and Changkyun were together, so why was he so upset over it?

Jooheon finally managed to wrangle Changkyun into bed and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. He sighed happily and settled down to go to sleep, but his mind was still wandering. All he could see was the look of disappointment and almost sadness on Hyunwoo’s face as he drove them home. He knew it definitely had to do with how much they drank, but it felt like something more.

When Hyunwoo got home, he collapsed into bed without even bothering to change his clothes. It was still bugging him. He supposed that, while he had claimed to not want anything intimate from the boys, he had subconsciously hoped something might occur organically. That hope was shot to hell now. This was why he never really bothered getting his hopes up for anything; all his life, he had only ever been let down. He must have been drunker than he thought, because he actually, for the first time in years, started to cry.

Jooheon’s head was still spinning as he desperately tried to fall asleep. He knew neither of them were going to be feeling very good in the morning, but it was what they deserved for acting stupid.

After what seemed like ages, Hyunwoo finally pulled himself together. He resolved that he would give them their space, for their sake and his own. There was no use making himself feel worse.

Eventually Jooheon was able to fall asleep, but it didn’t last long before sunlight was streaming through the window. He groaned quietly and rolled over so he could sleep more.

Changkyun woke up feeling nauseous. He cracked his eyes open but immediately squeezed them shut again when his head started to pound. “Heonie,” he mumbled, patting around for his boyfriend.

“I’m right here,” Jooheon muttered into the pillow his face was buried in. He had ended up rolling away from Changkyun but he couldn’t bring himself to move back.

“Gonna throw up,” Changkyun mumbled, his stomach rolling dangerously. He could barely even move, he ached so much.

“Oh shit, Changkyun,” Jooheon groaned, pushing himself up. He jumped out of bed and grabbed the trashcan from under his desk. He ignored his spinning head and just focused on making sure his boyfriend didn’t throw up in his bed.

Fortunately, Changkyun managed to move enough that he could lean over and throw up into the trash can. He groaned in pain. Everything hurt. What the hell did they do last night?

Jooheon turned his head away but rubbed Changkyun’s back supportively. “Next time I try to cut you off, I won’t let you convince me you’re fine,” he said sadly. He felt bad that Changkyun didn’t feel good, but he definitely should have prevented this.

Changkyun coughed and spat into the trash can again. “There won’t be a next time,” he groaned miserably, knowing full well that it was a lie.

“There won’t be a next time for a while,” Jooheon corrected. He climbed back into bed and carefully wrapped himself around his boyfriend’s back. He unfortunately remembered how most of the night went including being bullied into rapping, having to rescue poor Hyunwoo from Changkyun and...speaking of Hyunwoo Jooheon still couldn’t seem to push the image of him looking disappointed from his mind.

“Still think you rapping was hot though,” Changkyun rasped. He didn’t remember much but he certainly remembered that.

Jooheon groaned quietly. “I’m glad you think so, but that’s actually never happening again,” he said, completely serious.

“Not in public,” Changkyun mumbled. He fully intended to make Jooheon rap for him where he could take full advantage of the situation.

Jooheon groaned again. “Just get some rest and stop worrying about what’s not gonna happen,” he said.

“Rapper Jooheon is really hot, what can I say?” Changkyun mumbled, “why must you withhold him from me?”

“What, is regular Jooheon not hot enough for you?” he asked. He pouted even though his boyfriend couldn’t see him.

“Regular Jooheon’s cute and wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Changkyun said, “rapper Jooheon would fuck me up and make it sexy.”

“Are you sure you’re not still drunk?” Jooheon asked incredulously. He felt his cheeks begin to heat up and hid his face in his boyfriend’s back.

“I’m not,” Changkyun whined, “why is it so hard to believe that I love watching you rap?”

“Loving watching me rap is different from thinking I’m hot,” Jooheon pointed out, “I believe that you enjoyed it, but I’m not sure why you think it’s so hot.”

“You get so aggressive and the kinky side of me loves it,” Changkyun said simply.

“You are so lucky you aren’t feeling good right now,” Jooheon grumbled. He huffed quietly and kept his head hidden.

“Why? Is rapper Jooheon gonna give me that punishment he promised last night?” Changkyun teased. He groaned right after, his stomach rolling again dangerously.

“Not anymore,” Jooheon said with a shake of his head, “maybe in a couple days when you feel better and I have time to think about how to get you back.” He retracted one arm and scooted back a little so he could gently scratch his boyfriend’s back.

Fortunately, the wave of nausea passed without Changkyun throwing up. “I’m never drinking again,” he declared sadly.

“Sure, babe, whatever you say,” Jooheon said, “although we definitely aren’t drinking in front of Hyunwoo hyung ever again.”

“Oh? God, what did we do?” Changkyun asked. He didn’t remember anything after Jooheon’s performance.

Jooheon chewed on his lip. “Well you ended up toppling into his lap on your way to get us more drinks and then decided it would be a fun idea to pull me next to you,” he began slowly.

“Oh no,” Changkyun whined miserably. That wasn’t good at all.

“He took us home not long after that though and he didn’t look too thrilled on the drive home,” Jooheon added quietly, “he didn’t look mad just...disappointed.”

“That’s always worse,” Changkyun mumbled. He rolled over and buried his face in Jooheon’s shirt.

Jooheon sighed sadly and wrapped his arms around Changkyun. “Yeah I know. I guess we’ll see if he says anything when we see him next weekend,” he said.

“Maybe I can pretend to still be hungover by next weekend,” Changkyun mumbled. Anything to avoid the embarrassment of seeing Hyunwoo again.

“Oh no. If I have to see him so do you,” Jooheon said firmly. There was no way he would be able to make it through the next event without Changkyun.

Changkyun pouted. Seeing Hyunwoo was going to be so embarrassing. “We can both be hungover,” he mumbled.

“Oh yeah ‘cause that’s gonna get us back in his good graces,” Jooheon said sarcastically. He didn’t really want to see Hyunwoo either, but he knew they couldn’t get out of it.

“We both mysteriously contracted the stomach bug and can’t possibly go to the event this weekend,” Changkyun proposed.

“Your plan is flawless except for the fact that the man would probably insist on checking in on us and then what? If we get caught lying about not being able to do something that we agreed, through a contract, we would do, we’re screwed. He’s nice and all but I don’t think he’ll be too happy if he catches us lying,” Jooheon said.

Changkyun whined again. “It’s gonna be so embarrassing though,” he mumbled.

“I know, but we have each other and I’m sure we can spend the night with Hyungwon and Minhyuk,” Jooheon said, “speaking of Hyungwon I’m still mad at him too.”

“What’re you gonna do to him?” Changkyun asked, leaning back a little to squint up at his boyfriend.

“I’m not sure,” Jooheon grumbled, “I can’t use my punishment for you on him so I’ll have to think of something. Maybe mess with his new project.”

“That’s really mean,” Changkyun mumbled, “he was just trying to get you out of your shell.”

“Get me out of my shell,” Jooheon scoffed, “he got to do that at the club by letting me perform. He didn’t have to do that in front of everyone.”

“That’s different though,” Changkyun said, “you’re fine with people listening to your mixes. Actually performing and rapping is way out of your comfort zone. You really should be thanking him.”

“I’m not gonna thank him. And the only reason you feel this way is because you enjoyed it,” Jooheon said.

“And so did everyone else! I think you gave everyone a boner,” Changkyun said. His voice became quieter. “I just want you to do things that make you happy and rapping last night really seemed to do that.”

“Stop it,” Jooheon whined. He sighed and kissed Changkyun’s forehead gently. “I’m happy because everyone loved it, but that’s really not my thing. I’m a lot more comfortable behind the scenes.”

“I think you should at least try it once in front of a real crowd,” Changkyun said, “you never know, you might love it.”

“I don’t know if I could do it,” Jooheon said quietly, “there’s too many things that could go wrong and I’d rather just record something in a studio and play it. It’s practically the same thing anyway.”

“No, Heonie, there’s something so different about you recording it versus you actually performing it,” Changkyun said, “there’s just so much more passion when you do it live.”

Jooheon frowned, maybe he needed to change how he recorded his songs. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said sadly, “I’ll rap for you here whenever you want, but not on stage.”

Changkyun sighed. He wished he could convince Jooheon, but it just wasn’t happening now. “Just don’t be mad at Hyungwonnie, okay?” he mumbled, “if anything, be mad at me.”

“Fine, I won’t be mad at Hyungwon, but I don’t want to be mad at you either,” Jooheon said with a pout.

Changkyun simply sighed. He hated that Jooheon lacked so much confidence about this.

“Hey, hey, don’t look so glum,” Jooheon said gently, “I appreciate you wanting to make me happy.” He leaned forward so he could press their foreheads together.

“I didn’t though,” Changkyun mumbled sadly, “I just made you mad.”

“No, no, Kyunie, you didn’t make me mad. I was scared, but I was mostly scared that I wouldn’t impress you,” Jooheon admitted, “and the fact that you like it so much makes me happy, but I just don’t know if I could do it again.”

“Will you at least think about it?” Changkyun asked, staring at his boyfriend. It was easy to get distracted by how pretty Jooheon was.

Jooheon pulled back so he could see Changkyun clearly. “Yes, baby, I’ll think about it,” he promised.

“Thank you,” Changkyun said quietly. He knew the answer would probably still be no, but it felt nice to hear.

Jooheon pouted. He didn’t mean to make Changkyun upset, but the stage really wasn’t for him. “Do you want me to get you some water?” he asked. He knew his boyfriend wasn’t going to be getting out of bed anytime soon.

“No, I’ll probably just throw it up,” Changkyun said miserably. He should really just go back to sleep.

Jooheon nodded sadly and pulled his boyfriend a little closer. “Get some more rest and I’ll get you something when you wake up,” he said.


	20. Chapter 20

When Friday rolled around, Hyunwoo waited patiently in front of the apartment complex for the boys to come downstairs. It was the last event for a while and he hoped that they had recovered from the wild weekend before.

“Come on, Kyunie, he’s here,” Jooheon called. He waited patiently by the front door for his boyfriend.

When the boys finally came outside, Hyunwoo gave them a small smile and unlocked the door. “I see you two have recovered from last weekend,” he teased lightly.

Jooheon immediately turned his head down. “Oh, uh, yeah we did,” he said awkwardly. Hyunwoo didn’t sound like he was that upset, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t change.

“I don’t think Hoseok has yet,” Hyunwoo said, trying to cut the odd tension, “he was still groaning when we left the office earlier.”

Jooheon relaxed a little and did his best to hide his small smile. “I’m glad he enjoyed his night. What about Hyungwon? Do you know how he was?” he asked. His curiosity was getting the better of him and maybe karma had gotten to the older man.

“I believe Hoseok threw up on him,” Hyunwoo said with a hint of a smile, “twice.”

Jooheon didn’t bother trying to hide his smirk. Now he wouldn’t have to worry about getting the older man back  _ and _ he had something to tease him about tonight. Maybe this event wasn’t going to turn out too horribly.

Changkyun slapped Jooheon’s chest lightly. “You’re such an ass,” he mumbled, “he was just being helpful.”

“Ow! I didn’t even say anything,” Jooheon whined. He rubbed his chest dramatically and pouted at Changkyun.

Changkyun rolled his eyes but leaned over to kiss Jooheon’s cheek anyway. In no time, they were at the venue and handing the car off to the valet. Hyunwoo grimaced. “There will be more reporters tonight than at the other events,” he warned, “they’ll be persistent but just keep telling them ‘no comment.’”

Jooheon nodded and put his head down. He wanted to grab onto Changkyun’s hand, but he knew that wouldn’t be a good idea tonight. Instead he glued himself to his boyfriend’s side and followed Hyunwoo inside.

Being much more practiced at ignoring paparazzi, Hyunwoo had the boys go ahead of him so he could keep them in sight and moving. Once they were inside, it was a little easier to breathe.

Jooheon didn’t realize he was holding his breath until they were inside the building. He rolled his shoulders, but stayed close to Changkyun’s side. His eyes scanned the crowd looking for anyone he recognized.

Hyunwoo spotted Hoseok and the others at the same table they usually claimed and led the way over.

Jooheon followed Hyunwoo through the room and over to the table. “Hi, Hyungwonnie,” he greeted pleasantly as he slipped into the seat next to his friend.

Changkyun sat next to Jooheon, staying quiet as he leaned on his boyfriend. Despite having recovered from the hangover, he still didn’t feel very well.

Jooheon surrendered one of his arms to Changkyun and threaded their fingers together. “How was your week?” he asked Hyungwon conversationally.

Changkyun didn’t mind tuning out while Jooheon and Hyungwon talked. He was hyper aware of his hand in Jooheon’s, wondering if a reporter was going to pop out of somewhere and expose them.

Jooheon could feel how tense Changkyun was against him so he turned his attention to his boyfriend. “What’s wrong, Kyunie?” he asked softly.

“Nothing,” Changkyun said, “I’m just fixating.”

“On what?” Jooheon asked carefully. He didn’t want to be nosey, but if it was something to do with him he wanted to fix it.

“The reporters,” Changkyun said, “I don’t want hyung to get any weird questions because we’re holding hands.”

Jooheon slowly released his hold on Changkyun’s hand, but kept his arm where it was so his boyfriend could still lean on him. “Sorry, Kyunie,” he mumbled.

“No, it’s not you,” Changkyun said, forcefully threading their fingers back together, “I don’t mind them seeing us, I just feel bad for hyung.”

“We’ll just keep it to a minimum and hope they don’t bother Hyunwoo hyung too much,” Jooheon said. He happily let Changkyun fit their hands together again.

Hyunwoo kept an eye on the boys as he chatted with Hoseok and one of their investors. The two appeared to be enjoying themselves, if their lively conversation with Hyungwon was anything to go by.

Jooheon’s eyes scanned the crowd every now and then. On one scan he locked eyes with a reporter from across the room. He froze, but didn’t let go of Changkyun’s hand.

Changkyun had finally joined the conversation with Hyungwon and tugged on Jooheon’s arm when he stopped responding. “You okay?” he questioned.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jooheon answered quietly. The reporter smiled knowingly, but luckily turned away. Jooheon exhaled shakily and did his best to rejoin the conversation.

Changkyun subtly pressed a kiss to Jooheon’s shoulder, hoping to comfort his boyfriend from whatever was bothering him.

“Careful, Kyunie. One of them is watching us,” Jooheon warned quietly. He leaned back in his chair and sighed softly.

“So?” Changkyun retorted, “they can’t report anything with ‘no comment’ and I bet hyung would buy off any really bad stories anyway.”

Jooheon sighed again. “We should still be careful. We’re already on thin ice. I’d rather not make more problems for Hyunwoo hyung,” he said.

Changkyun hummed and let his eyes follow the reporter in question as she clacked her way over to Hyunwoo. He seemed to see her coming though, because he adjusted his stance, effectively blocking her from their little group conversation. Changkyun had to stifle a laugh; seeing the poor reporter blocked and steadfastly ignored was wildly entertaining. “See?” he said to Jooheon, “nothing to worry about.”

“Okay,” Jooheon said, still unconvinced. He was glad Hyunwoo was able to ignore the reporter and did his best to pick up the conversation he and Hyungwon were having.

Soon enough, dinner was announced and Hyunwoo took his seat next to Changkyun. Kihyun and Minhyuk hadn’t been able to attend, as they’d been literally locked into a room in Hyunwoo’s apartment to work their problems out, so it was just the five of them and some of their investors.

Jooheon regretfully let go of Changkyun’s hand during dinner. He talked with Hyungwon a little bit, but mostly stayed quiet and listened to Hoseok and Hyunwoo’s conversation.

Changkyun was tuning in and out of Jooheon and Hyungwon’s conversation but was surprised when someone sat down in the empty chair next to Hyungwon. He grabbed Hyungwon’s waist, making the boy flinch violently then hit him when he turned around. “About time you showed up,” Hyungwon muttered, “Jooheonnie, this is Song Gunhee, one of the producers I work with. I sent him some of your stuff last week and he just  _ had _ to meet you.”

Jooheon’s eyes widened. “You showed him my st-?” He cleared his throat and turned his attention to Gunhee. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said politely instead.

“Okay, technically he found it on my laptop and sent it to himself,” Hyungwon said defensively, “because he  _ liked _ it so much.”

Jooheon was even more confused and taken aback. “I’m glad you liked some of my stuff,” he said sheepishly. He wondered how many other producer friends of Hyungwon had heard his songs.

“Hyungwonnie says you’re not particularly keen on performing,” Gunhee said, leaning forward.

“No I’m not,” Jooheon confirmed, “I’m much happier in a studio.” He shot a quick look at Hyungwon.

“I think we could do good work together,” Gunhee said, “I’ll get your info from Hyungwon and get in touch next week about some ideas.”

Jooheon did his best not to smile too widely. “That sounds awesome,” he said excitedly, “I look forward to hearing from you.”

Gunhee nodded before turning his attention to Hyungwon, discussing an upcoming festival they were both going to be at. “That’s really awesome,” Changkyun said quietly, “maybe we’ll get out of this whole thing sooner than we thought.”

“Yeah, maybe. Let’s see how it goes when I meet with him first though,” Jooheon said. He snuck a lot at Hyunwoo trying to gauge if the older man overheard his conversation with Gunhee.

Changkyun smiled and risked pressing a kiss to Jooheon’s cheek. Ever since they’d literally made out on Hyunwoo, he had been a lot more relaxed about PDA.

Jooheon barely registered the kiss on his cheek. He was much too distracted by...Hyunwoo. His eyes traced over the older man’s face and down as much of his body he could see with the table in the way. Maybe it was because he did his best to avoid Hyunwoo at all costs before this point, but he had to admit the older man was undeniably attractive. He wasn’t sure why he was just realizing this now, but better late than never.

Hyunwoo had long since taken off his sport coat and was working on rolling his sleeves up to his elbows as he spoke with Hoseok and one of their investors. The venue was surprisingly stuffy.

Jooheon sucked in a breath as he watched Hyunwoo roll up his shirt sleeves. Something about the way even his forearm muscles rippled beneath his skin had him quickly dropping his eyes to his lap. He focused on keeping his breathing even and hoped Hyunwoo didn’t notice him staring. He had a beautiful boyfriend so why was he getting so flustered over someone that theoretically wouldn’t even be in their lives much longer?

Changkyun could tell that Jooheon was getting distracted. He wondered what could have so suddenly stolen his boyfriend’s attention.

Jooheon looked up again to find Changkyun watching him. He knew he was caught and there would be no getting out of explaining what happened. Maybe he could blame it on being worried about the reporter again.

“How’s your food?” Changkyun asked when Jooheon looked at him. He had cleared his own plate but Jooheon’s was still half full.

“It’s good,” Jooheon said, picking up his utensils again. Between his conversation with Gunhee and watching Hyunwoo he had gotten sidetracked from eating.

Changkyun snuck his fingers in and stole a potato from Jooheon’s plate before his boyfriend could start eating again. “What’s distracting you so much?” he asked.

Jooheon pushed another potato towards Changkyun. “I’m just on edge, still worried about that stupid reporter,” he mumbled.

“I don’t think there’s any cameras allowed in here and she couldn’t talk to hyung so we’re okay,” Changkyun said, taking one of Jooheon’s hands again.

Jooheon held Changkyun’s hand securely. “I hope so,” he said quietly. He pushed his food around his plate; he wasn’t really that hungry anymore.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Changkyun asked. Jooheon almost never rejected food, especially when it was this high class.

“I’m fine,” Jooheon replied, a little too quickly. He sighed sadly and hung his head. “I just wanna go home,” he mumbled sadly. He needed to get far away from Hyunwoo before his mind betrayed him anymore.

“I’m sure we’ll be home soon,” Changkyun said. Waitstaff were starting to come around to collect the plates so it would be long before they could get out of here.

Jooheon pulled Changkyun’s hand into his lap and played with his boyfriend’s fingers. It was taking everything in his power not to drop his head onto Changkyun’s shoulder.

Changkyun was right, of course. Within an hour and a half, they were wishing Hyunwoo good night and heading up to their apartment. “Are you ready to tell me what was actually distracting you?” Changkyun asked when they got inside.

Jooheon immediately pulled Changkyun against him and buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck. He sighed softly as he breathed in his boyfriend’s familiar scent. If he told Changkyun the truth he risked making his boyfriend upset, or even losing him, but if he lied he risked shattering his boyfriend’s trust. He didn’t know what to do so he just clung onto Changkyun tightly and whimpered an “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Changkyun mumbled, “but don’t think you’re getting out of this conversation.”

Jooheon whined quietly. “Please, Kyunie,” he begged. He couldn’t do it; he couldn’t admit the truth.

“What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?” Changkyun asked, pulling away with a pout.

Jooheon stared at Changkyun. His mouth opened and closed, desperately trying to find a way out of this, but he couldn’t. As he stared at his boyfriend he realized he couldn’t lie, but he still didn’t want to share the truth. He whimpered quietly, eyes begging Changkyun not to push this.

Changkyun raised his eyebrows, waiting for Jooheon to say something.

Jooheon dropped his eyes to the floor and took a step back. He was trapped and there was nothing else he could do other than admit the truth. “Hyunwoo,” he finally whispered meekly. He flinched away preemptively, not knowing how Changkyun would react.

“What about him?” Changkyun asked blankly, “I thought you two were fine now.”

“We are fine,” Jooheon said sadly, “maybe a little too fine...I didn’t...” He sighed loudly. “I was distracted by  _ him _ . I didn’t realize how...how attractive he is.” He was almost wondering if lying would have been better. 

“Oh,” Changkyun said quietly, then shrugged, “I mean, yeah. The guy’s one giant muscle. Objectively speaking, he’s very attractive.”

Jooheon looked up at Changkyun and stared at his boyfriend. “You’re not...you’re not upset?” he asked incredulously.

“No?” Changkyun said, “it’s not like you’re into him. It’s just passing attraction; you can’t help that.”

Jooheon heaved a sigh of relief and walked back over to Changkyun. He buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck again and held onto him tightly.

Changkyun wrapped his arms around Jooheon’s waist. “That’s really it?” he asked.

Jooheon nodded into Changkyun’s neck. “That’s really it,” he replied, “I thought...I thought you would be mad.”

“I think he’s hot too,” Changkyun said, “as long as you don’t want to get with him, I can’t get mad at you.”

“I don’t,” Jooheon said quickly, “the only person I want is you.” He tightened his grip on his boyfriend, effectively trapping him.

“Good,” Changkyun said, “now let’s go to bed, worrywart.”

Jooheon nodded and followed Changkyun down the hallway. They both got changed and washed up quickly. When they climbed into bed Jooheon wasted no time wrapping himself around his boyfriend again.

Changkyun looped an arm around Jooheon’s back, rubbing it soothingly. As he laid there, he couldn’t help but think. If Jooheon did someday decide that he preferred Hyunwoo, there would be nothing Changkyun could do.

Jooheon immediately buried his head in Changkyun’s neck again. He didn’t want to move from this spot for the rest of his life, but he would settle for the rest of the night and hopefully most of the following day.

On Tuesday, Gunhee contacted Jooheon, just like he said he would. He asked the boy to come into his studio and mess around with some tracks with him for a bit, to see if they would be able to work well together.

Jooheon was excited when Gunhee contacted him and invited him to his studio. He was a little nervous, but he was excited about working with the producer. As promised he arrived a few minutes early and followed the instructions to make his way through the building.

Gunhee welcomed Jooheon to his studio warmly and immediately set about showing the boy what he was working on.

Jooheon followed Gunhee around and paid close attention. He knew how to use most of the equipment in the studio but it was much fancier than anything they had at school.

By the end of an hour, Gunhee was showing Jooheon some of his tracks and asking for his advice.

Jooheon couldn’t believe such an acclaimed producer was asking  _ him _ for advice, but he helped as best as he could. “I’m sorry to do this but I have to ask,” Jooheon said after they finished up, “I’m still just a student and you have a lot of successful music. Shouldn’t it be me asking you for advice?”

“About promoting and marketing, sure,” Gunhee said, “but you and I are really at the same level. I may do it a little more professionally, but you’ve been doing it longer and we’re both still students. The only reason your music isn’t successful is because you have no good way to get it out there.”

Jooheon nodded. There was definitely a lot he could learn from Gunhee. “SoundCloud has worked for me so far, but I’m gonna have to figure something better out before I graduate,” he said.

“SoundCloud isn’t a label,” Gunhee said, “it isn’t gonna get you gigs. That’s why I want to bring you on with me.”

“Bring me on?” Jooheon asked, eyes widening, “are you...are you sure?” He didn’t want to get his hopes up so soon, but being able to finally get his music out there was a dream come true.

“Totally,” Gunhee said enthusiastically, “the label won’t buy out any of your existing tracks but we’ll remaster them for album release so you can actually make money off of them.”

“Remaster them for an album,” Jooheon echoed, “wow that sounds amazing.” His smile quickly faltered. “What if...what if my stuff doesn’t do well? The label won’t waste time on someone who doesn’t sell.”

“It’s not a corporate label,” Gunhee said, “the guy who owns it built it up from the ground and he understands that you almost don’t want overwhelming success on the first try. He’s not gonna drop you over bad sales. In the four years I’ve been with the label, I’ve only seen them drop one person and it was because he got arrested and charged with sexual assault. No, Jihoon’s great.”

Jooheon nodded; that certainly made him feel a lot better. “I’ll work on anything, I’ll record whatever they want, but I won’t perform,” he said warningly, “I’m more than happy to do any of the behind the scenes work you need.”

“That’s where our partnership comes in,” Gunhee explained, “you produce, you write, you do whatever, and I’ll record and perform everything. You get the royalties as a producer and I’ll get some as the performer, plus you can get all the royalties from whatever albums of your self-recorded stuff you put out.”

“That sounds perfect,” Jooheon said. His excitement was creeping back and a smile found its way back onto his face.

“Great!” Gunhee said happily, “Jihoon’s out of town ‘til Friday, but we can meet up again then to figure out the contract stuff.”

“Oh that soon? Wow that’s awesome,” Jooheon said excitedly. He couldn’t wait to get home and tell Changkyun.

“No point in waiting,” Gunhee said with a shrug.

Jooheon nodded his agreement. He chatted with Gunhee for a few minutes before thanking the older man profusely and taking his leave. He rushed home and burst into the apartment, buzzing with his excitement and on the hunt for his boyfriend.

Changkyun couldn’t contain his excitement when Jooheon told him about his deal with Gunhee. They were really going to be okay.

“I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it’s so hard. If this works out we’ll be set,” Jooheon said happily. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and held him close.

Changkyun kissed Jooheon deeply. “You’re amazing,” he said when he pulled away.

“Hey, don’t say that yet. I haven’t even signed the contract yet,” Jooheon said quickly.

“Why is Friday so far away?” Changkyun complained.

Jooheon chuckled and kissed the tip of Changkyun’s nose. “I don’t know, but I’m sure the rest of the week will go by quickly,” he said.

Jooheon was right; it did go quickly. As soon as his boyfriend got home after signing the contract, Changkyun insisted on taking him out to dinner.

Jooheon knew there was no saying no to Changkyun and Friday night found them driving through the city to the restaurant that his boyfriend had picked for them.

Dinner was perfect as expected and Changkyun was soon driving them home for what was sure to be another few hours of wine on the couch.

Soon enough Jooheon was sitting on their couch with Changkyun wrapped securely in his arms. A movie was playing in the background, but he wasn’t paying attention. All he was thinking about was what life would be like when they didn’t have to rely on Hyunwoo anymore. They were so close and he couldn’t wait.

Changkyun glanced at Jooheon and felt an overwhelming surge of pride. His boyfriend was finally getting a start on something that he really loved to do and Changkyun couldn’t be more excited for him, and for their future together. 

The next week found Jooheon spending a lot of his free time in the studio. After getting permission from Jihoon, he had continued working on his big project for the semester on the much newer equipment they had. It gave him time to practice everything and would greatly increase the quality of his music, which hopefully his professor appreciated. And that was where he was now, hunched over a desk, quickly scribbling notes of things he wanted to change and fix. 

Changkyun hadn’t been to the studio before, but he wanted to surprise Jooheon with lunch and found himself wandering the halls aimlessly until he heard the familiar beat of his boyfriend’s project. He peeked his head inside the door and found Jooheon hunched over the desk.

Jooheon didn’t hear the door open, much too focused on keeping up with his thoughts. He dropped the pencil onto the desk for a moment and looked up so he could replay one part he had missed. Picking up the pencil again, he tapped his chin in time with the music before going back to writing. 

Changkyun closed the door softly and tiptoed over to Jooheon. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck from behind, he propped his chin on a shoulder. “How’s it going?” he asked. 

Jooheon jumped out of his skin when someone wrapped themselves around his neck. He relaxed quickly when he realized it was Changkyun. “It’s going good. You scared the shit out of me though. What are you doing here?” he asked. He tried to fake a pout, but he was smiling too much at the fact that his boyfriend had come to visit him. 

“I’m here to drag you out for lunch,” Changkyun said, “you’ve been locked in here all week.”

Jooheon glanced at the clock on the wall. “Can I have just five minutes to finish up and then we can go?” he asked, “I don’t want to lose my thoughts.” 

“Sure,” Changkyun said easily. He rounded the chair and sat down on Jooheon’s lap, keeping himself to one side so his boyfriend could still see and write. 

Jooheon kissed Changkyun’s cheek when he sat down and wrapped one arm around his boyfriend’s waist. With his free hand he continued to write notes. As promised, he was done within the next five minutes and dropped the pencil back onto the desk with a soft sigh. “Alright, let’s go,” he said. 

“What do you want to eat?” Changkyun asked, taking hold of Jooheon’s hand as they got up and left the studio.

“Something light. Maybe just a sandwich? There’s a nice cafe around the corner,” Jooheon suggested. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he still wanted to enjoy the afternoon with his boyfriend. 

Changkyun nodded agreeably and let Jooheon lead the way to the cafe. It was really more of a deli but he didn’t mind. “Why don’t you order for me and I’ll grab a table?”

Jooheon only let go of Changkyun’s hand so he could step up to the counter. He ordered and paid for both of them and then went to sit with his boyfriend while their sandwiches were being made. Even though it was only mid afternoon he had gotten himself a coffee, but had snagged a can of soda for his boyfriend. 

Changkyun smiled when Jooheon sat down across from him. “So is the track almost done?” he asked. 

Jooheon sighed and rested his head in one of his hands. “I have a page worth of stuff I want to fix, but at this point I might just call it a day. My professor wants us to turn in the final product next week so it’s really not good to keep fiddling with it,” he said. He wasn’t unhappy with the track per say, but he had to bend his style a lot to fit his professor’s criteria. 

“Have you had Gunhee or Jihoon listen to it?” Changkyun asked. Maybe they would have some different thoughts. 

“No, I don’t want to bother them with something like this,” Jooheon replied. If it was something he was looking to put on an album that would be one thing, but this was a school project and certainly not worth either of the producers’ time. 

“I think it’d be worth at least having Gunhee or Hyungwon look it over,” Changkyun said, “it needs a fresh set of eyes.”

Jooheon nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “I’ll text Hyungwonnie after and see if he’s free this weekend to help me out,” he said. He was distracted when his name was called and stood to get their sandwiches and bring them to table. 

The sandwiches were actually really good, not that Changkyun had really doubted they would be. Whatever Jooheon had ordered him was amazing. He would definitely be dragging his boyfriend back here. 

Jooheon was hungrier than he realized and managed to easily finish off his sandwich. When he was done eating he sat back in his seat and watched his boyfriend. A small smile tugged at his lips. His boyfriend really was adorable and it was sweet of him to surprise him at the studio. 

“What time do you think you’ll be home tonight?” Changkyun asked as he finished up his sandwich. If Jooheon wasn’t planning on staying much longer, he might just stick around. 

“I’ll be home before dinner,” Jooheon promised, “it’ll definitely be at least another hour, but I don’t want to be there any longer than two.” This project was driving him up a wall and he didn’t have the focus to work on it for much longer today. 

“Mind if I take a nap on your couch then?” Changkyun asked, stretching his arms over his head to crack his back.

“Not at all. I’d love the company,” Jooheon said. Even if Changkyun was asleep it would be nice to have someone else in the studio with him. 

Changkyun smiled happily. He always needed a good hour long nap after lunch and watching Jooheon work was always a good way to fall asleep. He loved his boyfriend’s finished products, but the process was just so boring to him. 

“Come on let’s get out of here,” Jooheon said, pushing himself up from the table. He finished his coffee and reached for his boyfriend’s hand. 

Changkyun easily took Jooheon’s hand again and let himself be led back to the studio. When they got back, he separated from his boyfriend and curled up on the couch. “You should come sit here so I can cuddle you,” he said. 

“How am I supposed to work from across the room?” Jooheon asked with a chuckle. His boyfriend was hard to resist so he decided to compromise. “Let me work for another half hour and then we can cuddle.”

Changkyun pouted but conceded. “You should put it all on the cloud so you can use your laptop,” he mumbled as he laid down. 

Jooheon hummed. That actually wasn’t a bad idea at all. He did his best to get through his page of notes in thirty minutes, but he only made it through a little over half. With a sigh he saved his music to the cloud, per his boyfriend’s suggestion, and went to sit on the couch with him. 

Changkyun sat up for a moment so Jooheon could sit, then laid down with his head on his boyfriend’s lap. “You’re comfy,” he said happily. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Jooheon said softly. He sat there for a minute trying to figure out where to put his laptop to keep working, but he eventually gave up. Setting his laptop to the side, he combed his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. 

“Your song sounds really good,” Changkyun said after a minute, “I’m glad you got this job.”

Jooheon smiled softly. “Thanks, babe,” he said, “I just can’t wait to start working on projects I want to rather than stuff for my stupid fucking professors.” Gunhee’s offer of putting out his own album was incredibly tempting and Jooheon was still toying with the idea. 

“Only a few more weeks,” Changkyun said sleepily, “you’re gonna do great.”

“Thanks for being so supportive,” Jooheon whispered, “now get some rest. I’ll be done soon.” He opened his laptop with his free hand and waited for it to turn back on. 

Changkyun rolled over to bury his face in Jooheon’s stomach. He let out a slow breath and slowly relaxed until he fell asleep. 

Jooheon eventually turned his full attention to his laptop. It was a bit hard with Changkyun laying on his lap, but he managed it. He worked for about another hour before deciding to call it a day. He felt bad waking his boyfriend up so he decided to let him sleep for a few more minutes. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up for smut in this chapter!

Gunhee and Jihoon were on a mission. A certain video had reached them of Jooheon performing a rap song at a noraebang and now they were determined to have him do it on the regular. They knocked on the door of his studio, entering without a response. 

Jooheon froze when there was a knock on the door and didn’t even have time to move Changkyun off of his lap before Gunhee and Jihoon were walking into the room. “H-hi. I’m sorry I wasn’t planning on staying much longer,” he said quickly. He hoped they weren’t too mad that he had brought Changkyun into the studio with him. 

“It’s your studio, Jooheon-ah,” Gunhee said, “we don’t care how long you stay or who you invite as long as you’re alive. How’s your project going?”

Jooheon sighed in relief and immediately relaxed. “It’s okay,” he replied with a shrug, “what my professor wants and what I think is good don’t line up so I’m having a hard time with it. It’s almost done though.”

“I can take a look at it if you want,” Gunhee offered, glancing at Jihoon, who nodded. 

“That would be amazing,” Jooheon breathed. “As important as your project is, that’s not what we came to talk to you about,” Jihoon said, fishing his phone out of his pocket, “we were shown a video of you rapping and were both very impressed.” He handed his phone over to a confused looking Jooheon. Jooheon took the phone hesitantly and froze when he realized what it was from. “Why...why do you have this?” he asked. He knew exactly where it had come from, judging by the angle of the video, and he was absolutely furious. 

“Our source thought it might be useful for us to see,” Gunhee said with a hint of a smile, “I know we said you wouldn’t have to perform, and you still don’t, but I really think you should consider. You have incredible charisma on stage.”

“No, absolutely not,” Jooheon said immediately, “I’m sorry. I told you already that I would do anything for you other than performing and I stand by that.” He couldn’t believe Hyungwon had done this. Actually he could, but that didn’t make it any better. “Jooheon-ah, I know it’s not something that you want now, but it might be something you practice for now in case you change your mind in the future,” Jihoon said. Jooheon didn’t respond and instead pressed his mouth into a hard line.

“They’re right,” Changkyun mumbled tiredly from where he was still shoving his face into Jooheon’s stomach, “you’re so good, baby, I don’t understand why you’re so against it.”

“Kyunie, please don’t,” Jooheon begged. He turned his attention back to Gunhee and Jihoon. “That video was taken when I was drunk so whatever happened there won’t be what you get if I decide to perform for you. I’m sure you have plenty of other artists that perform better than I ever could that you can focus on.” He felt like he was being backed into a corner and he hated it. 

“You were tipsy at best,” Changkyun grumbled, but he knew better than to try and change Jooheon’s mind. Gunhee and Jihoon were brave, really. 

“A little word of advice,” Jihoon began, taking his phone back, “the decisions you make now are going to affect your future so you should think about your future self and not your present self when making decisions. You don’t want to tie your hands now because you’re never gonna know when you need to use them.” Jooheon sighed and nodded. “I’ll think about it,” he finally conceded. Hopefully that was good enough for everyone. 

“That’s all we’re asking,” Gunhee said with a small smile, “Thanks, Jooheon-ah.”

“Is there anything else that you needed?” Jooheon asked tiredly. Jihoon shook his head. “No, this was it. You have a lot of potential and you’re very talented. We just want to help you harness that potential and talent and put it to good use, but we also want you to be happy. We’ll find a balance in time.” Jooheon just nodded in response. 

Changkyun grumbled and wrapped his arms around Jooheon’s waist like he would a pillow. He was trying to nap. Gunhee and Jihoon had gotten what they needed; they could leave him in peace now.

Jooheon absentmindedly combed his fingers through Changkyun’s hair. “We’ll leave you to work on your project,” Jihoon said, “let Gunhee hyung know when you want help and if you change your mind about performing.” With that he guided the older man from the room, leaving the pair alone. 

“Gonna work more?” Changkyun mumbled when the other two men finally left.

“No, I want to go home,” Jooheon said quietly. He reached over and all but slammed his laptop shut. As much as he needed it, he didn’t even want to talk to Gunhee or Hyungwon about his project. 

Changkyun waited for Jooheon to finish cleaning up, then led the elder out to the car. He was still sleepy, so he passed the keys to his boyfriend. 

Jooheon drove them home in silence. He was mulling over what Jihoon said, but it wasn’t enough to convince him. He just hoped they didn’t push the issue further. There was no way he could work with them if they kept insisting he perform, but he also couldn’t afford to lose this job. Soon enough they were home and Jooheon guided Changkyun to bed so he could finish his nap. 

Changkyun pulled Jooheon into bed with him. His boyfriend wasn’t going to escape taking a proper nap that easily. 

Jooheon whined quietly when he was pulled into bed, but didn’t resist more than that. Giving in completely, he wrapped himself around his boyfriend and buried his face in his neck. His brain was still in work mode and was running a mile a minute and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep. 

“Shut up,” Changkyun mumbled, splaying a hand haphazardly over Jooheon’s face, “make your brain go shush, it’s too loud.”

“Changkyun, stop it,” Jooheon sputtered. He peeled his boyfriend’s hand off of his face with a huff. “You know I can’t, so just go to sleep,” he added quietly. 

“You should at least try,” Changkyun mumbled, “when was the last time you really slept well? Hm? This whole gig is to make our lives a little easier so that we can live healthier and that includes sleeping properly instead of in class after double overnights.”

“I don’t fall asleep in class. And I’ll sleep well when this project is over and everyone gets off my back,” Jooheon said. Hopefully that would be enough for Changkyun to drop the conversation and take a nap. 

“No assignment is worth this much,” Changkyun mumbled unhappily. With a sigh, he rolled over so his back was to Jooheon’s chest and dropped the subject. 

Jooheon opened his mouth to counter with the fact that if he failed this assignment he would be knocked completely off track, but decided against it. He sighed sadly and laid there, staring at the back of Changkyun’s head as his thoughts continued to tangle together. 

Changkyun reached back and pulled one of Jooheon’s arms over his waist. He held onto his boyfriend’s wrist for dear life.

Jooheon let his arm be pulled around Changkyun and held onto him tightly. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of his boyfriend’s neck and whispered an “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Changkyun mumbled, a little sullenly. He wished Jooheon would take better care of himself. 

Jooheon didn’t miss Changkyun’s tone and he chewed on his lip nervously. He just needed to get through this next week and get this assignment in. And that he did. He ended up going to Gunhee and getting his opinions on the project. After spending countless hours in the studio, he finally copied a version of his track that he was at least proud of to hand in. The moment the flash drive was in his professor’s hand a wave of relief washed over him. Once class was over, he raced home, wanting to make up for lost time with his boyfriend. 

Changkyun was laying on the couch, playing on his phone. He hoped Jooheon would be home soon, because he was bored out of his mind. The older boy was turning in his project today and Changkyun sincerely hoped that he didn’t go straight back to the studio after. 

The second Jooheon walked in the door he dropped his backpack on the floor and went to look for Changkyun. Luckily he didn’t have to look far as his boyfriend was lying on the couch. Wasting no time he laid down on the couch with Changkyun, doing his best not to crush the younger. 

Changkyun groaned when Jooheon laid down on top of him. “Baby,” he whined, “you’re squishing me.”

“I’m sorry. You’re just so comfortable,” Jooheon murmured. He shifted his weight slightly and nearly fell off the couch in the process. Steadying himself, he leaned up and kissed Changkyun’s cheek. “I missed you.”

Changkyun hummed and returned the gesture. “How did it go?” He asked, adjusting so he and Jooheon were laying side by side instead. 

“I’ll hear back next week and at this point I just want to pass the class,” Jooheon said tiredly. He was just happy that it was over and he could devote more of his time to Changkyun. 

“You’re gonna do great, Heonie, you know that,” Changkyun said confidently, “and then you’ll release an album and I’ll just be your sugar baby instead of hyung’s.”

“Kyunie, knock it off,” Jooheon whined. He buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck. “To be honest I might start working on an album this summer. I’ll have the time and I can see how it goes and what I’ll need to work on next year.” What he neglected to mention was the fact that he couldn’t wait until he didn’t have to rely on Hyunwoo to take care of Changkyun. 

“What are you gonna work on in between now and then?” Changkyun asked. He wrapped his arms around Jooheon’s waist. 

“I’m gonna edit that mix to make it something I’m actually happy with,” Jooheon said, “and I’m gonna spend time with you because I miss you.” He pouted at his boyfriend. 

“Y’know, the sooner you remaster the album, the less we have to take from hyung,” Changkyun said quietly. He didn’t want to push Jooheon, but it was really time he let his semester project go. “Plus, you can use the album as your final project.”

Jooheon paused for a moment. Maybe it was a better idea to start working on the album now. It would hopefully give them a cushion for the summer if he could finish it before the semester was over. He already had quite a few of his soundcloud songs that didn’t need a lot of work. “That’s not a bad idea,” he said with a hum, “I’ll take a look at what I have tonight and see what I can use.” He was much too comfortable to move now. 

Changkyun hummed happily. That was good enough for him. “I’m really proud of you, y’know,” he said quietly.

Jooheon smiled into Changkyun’s neck. “I couldn’t have done this without you,” he murmured. 

“Really, we should both thank Hyunwoo hyung,” Changkyun said with a sigh, “without him, we’d probably be dead.”

Jooheon nodded. He didn’t like to think about where they would have ended up if they didn’t have Hyunwoo. “Thank you for convincing me to go through with everything,” he mumbled. 

“Thank you for going through with it with me,” Changkyun countered, “I know it’s hard for you to take charity and to trust Hyunwoo hyung.”

Jooheon pressed a gentle kiss against the exposed skin of Changkyun’s neck. “I..uh…I’m gonna talk to Gunhee about possibly performing,” he said quietly. 

“You are?” Changkyun asked excitedly, “that’s awesome, Jooheonie!” He hopes his boyfriend decided to go through with it, at least once.

Jooheon untucked his head and smiled when he saw Changkyun’s excited expression. “If I put out an album, I’m gonna want to perform my stuff. I just need a lot of help so I want to talk to Gunhee first before I jump into it,” he said. 

“Baby, that’s amazing,” Changkyun said, kissing Jooheon’s cheek, “you’re gonna do so good, I promise.”

“Thanks, Kyunie. You know, I am gonna have to practice for an audience,” Jooheon said, watching Changkyun closely. 

“I’m not a good audience,” Changkyun said, “I’m just gonna wanna jump your bones as soon as you stop, no matter how good or bad it is. Maybe you should perform for hyung instead.” The suggestion of Hyunwoo slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. 

“No, absolutely not,” Jooheon said flatly, “I’m trying to get away from him not perform for him. Plus he saw me rap once, that’s more than enough.” He sighed softly and softened his tone. “I’d rather rap for you anyway.” 

“You need a fair judge though,” Changkyun said quietly, “maybe Hyungwonnie then?”

Jooheon shook his head. “I’ll have to rap for Gunhee and Jihoon so I’ll use them for feedback and you for a little fun,” he said. 

“Is that all I am to you?” Changkyun asked, feigning upset, “a little fun?”

“No, baby, of course not,” Jooheon assured. He leaned forward slightly, kissing his boyfriend for real this time. 

Changkyun hummed happily as Jooheon kissed him. This he would never get tired of. When he pulled away, he buried his face in Jooheon’s neck instead, smiling to himself. 

Jooheon held Changkyun tightly until they got hungry for dinner. They spent the next few days soaking up each other’s company and making up for the amount of time Jooheon spent in the studio. It took a while, but he finally worked up the courage to talk to Gunhee about an album and possibly performing, which is where he was now. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the producer’s office door. 

“Come in,” Gunhee called over his shoulder, not looking away from his computer screen. He knew only two people would bother him while he was working, Jihoon and Jooheon, and they were both welcome distractions. 

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you,” Jooheon began as he stepped into the office, “but I had a couple of things I wanted to talk to you about. It’s not important if you’re busy though.” 

“Oh, shut up,” Gunhee said, rolling his eyes. He saved his work and closed the program before turning to face Jooheon. “What’s up?”

Jooheon huffed quietly while Gunhee still had his back turned. “I wanted to start possibly working on an album, but I don’t know where to start. I have some songs already done, but I don’t know what needs to be changed and I don’t know how much more I’ll need,” he said quickly. 

“You’ve come to the right place then, my friend,” Gunhee said, kicking the other stool out from under the desk and turning back to the computer. “Are your Soundcloud files on the cloud?”

“Yeah, they are, but we don’t have to start this now. I really just wanted to ask if it was a possibility,” Jooheon said, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t like the idea of Gunhee listening to his songs with him still there. What if they weren’t good enough for an album? Sure he could start from scratch, but that would push everything back so far. 

“Of course it’s a possibility,” Gunhee said, “we just have to remaster them for better audio quality, and you’ll have to take them off SoundCloud once the album drops.”

“And if they aren’t good enough for an album?” Jooheon asked hesitantly. He could easily handle removing the songs from SoundCloud, but he just wanted to know where he stood.

“It’s your album,” Gunhee said slowly, “you get to decide what’s good enough and what you want to improve. That’s why you work here.”

“But I still need your opinion,” Jooheon almost begged. It was amazing to have the freedom to choose what songs he wanted to put on an album, but he wasn’t ready to make those decisions by himself yet. 

“Well, yeah, but I’m not gonna tell you that you  _ can’t  _ put something on your album,” Gunhee said, “my job is just to give you advice. You have to stop thinking like a student, Jooheon-ah. Start thinking like a producer.”

Jooheon sighed and nodded. He was determined not to start from scratch so hopefully Jihoon and Gunhee would approve of the final product. “I don’t even know where to start,” he said lamely.

“Well, let’s start with this: do you want to make an album of rap tracks or instrumental tracks?” Gunhee asked. He pulled up Jooheon’s folder on the cloud and opened up his SoundCloud folder. 

“Rap tracks,” Jooheon replied, “but I only have four songs right now. I’m gonna need at least two more. I might be able to write some lyrics for some of the instrumental tracks I already have, but most of them were school projects so they aren’t very good.” He knew he was rambling, but he was too nervous to stop himself. 

“Alright, we’ll start there,” Gunhee said. He opened a file titled  _ Rhythm _ , his personal favorite from Jooheon’s discography. 

Jooheon had to admit he had a soft spot for the track Gunhee picked first. It was his newest song and his personal favorite. “This has to go on,” he said, “I like it too much to give it up.” He knew Gunhee wouldn’t say no, but he still felt like he had to ask permission. 

“What if we make it the title?” Gunhee suggested. “It’s your newest track and it has the most views so far.”

Jooheon nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I like the sound of that,” he said. 

“Is there anything about it that you want to change?” Gunhee asked, settling in, “or do you just want to fix the audio quality?”

Jooheon fished a couple pieces of paper out of his pocket and handed them over to Gunhee. “These are all of the things I want to fix for each song,” he said. He plopped down on the stool next to Gunhee to discuss his notes. The producer was incredibly helpful, giving him tips on how to fix the things he wanted, some advice on some lyrics, and even crossed a couple notes out he didn’t think needed to be changed. With all of this in mind, Jooheon found himself back in the studio after class each day for a couple hours putting together his album. 

Changkyun wasn’t mad, he really wasn’t. He was just a little lonely. He knew how important this album was to Jooheon and he didn’t begrudge his boyfriend any time spent in the studio, but he wanted to see Jooheon too. Finally, after getting out of class one day, he decided he’d had enough and marched right on down to Jooheon’s studio to surprise him. 

Jooheon had two songs completely done. Completely done! He already had the lyrics done for a new song and just had to record them. He was so excited with the progress he was making so far. Pulling out his next page of notes, he played the third song that would be on the album and sat back to listen once through. 

Changkyun knew his way to the studio now and managed to get there without being spotted by either of Jooheon’s producers - they both scared him. He snuck into Jooheon’s studio, wrapping himself around his boyfriend from behind. 

Jooheon jumped when someone wrapped themselves around him. He knew it had to be Changkyun so he wasted no time pulling his boyfriend into his lap. He reached over and lowered the volume of the music. “Hi, Kyunie,” he greeted happily, “what brings you down here?” 

“I’m here to make you spend time with me,” Changkyun announced, settling easily on Jooheon’s lap, “whether you like it or not.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I promise I won’t be here much longer,” Jooheon said. He wrapped an arm around Changkyun’s waist and pulled them both closer to his desk. 

“Just finish it tomorrow,” Changkyun whined. He turned on Jooheon’s lap so he was out of the way and hid in his boyfriend’s neck. 

“I’m on a roll and I know exactly what I want to do with this song. It won’t take me that long at all and then we can go home and spend the rest of the night together,” Jooheon bargained. It was a little hard to work with just one hand, but he was making it work. 

“Or,” Changkyun bargained with a deceptively innocent smile, “you can come home now and then we’ll get the afternoon too.”

“Kyunie, I love you, but I don’t want to lose my groove. This should only take an hour, maybe a little more. If I get this done today that’s less I have to do tomorrow and more time I can spend with you then,” Jooheon said. He really did want to spend time with Changkyun, but he also had work to get done. 

Changkyun groaned and got off of Jooheon’s lap, collapsing on the couch instead. “It’s fine,” he muttered, “I can tell where your priorities lay.”

“Kyunie, don’t do this,” Jooheon begged, “I’m doing this for us. I don’t like spending so much away from you, but I have to.” He spun himself around so he could look at Changkyun. 

“Do you have a deadline?” Changkyun asked, “because if you don’t have a deadline, then you’re just picking work over me and I know you’re doing it for us, but that fucking hurts, Jooheon.”

“No I don’t have a deadline, but I want to get this done as soon as possible so we can stop relying on Hyunwoo hyung and start living the life we want,” Jooheon said, “I hate not having time to spend with you, but I know this is what’s best for us right now.” 

“There barely is an us right now,” Changkyun said heatedly, “you come home at all hours of the night, I don’t see you in the mornings, and your one or two hour estimations always turn into five or six. I’m happy you’re finally doing what you love but, fuck, Heonie, I miss you.”

“I miss you too, but we’ve been through worse and I know we’ll get through this. It’s gonna be another month at most and then we’ll have all the time we want to spend with each other. If we keep going back and forth now that’s just less time we're gonna have tonight,” Jooheon said, slightly annoyed. He watched his boyfriend closely; he really wanted to avoid an argument if he could help it. 

“Yeah, another month of spending all your time in the studio, but then the album drops and you’ll be spending all your time promoting it, and probably still just as much time in the studio. Why can’t you just give me one night?” Changkyun was close to begging. He missed Jooheon so much.

Jooheon took one good look at Changkyun and made up his mind. He pushed himself up from his chair and stalked over to the couch. “Why wait for tonight?” he asked as he pulled his boyfriend back into his lap. 

“That’s what I’m saying,” Changkyun said, making to stand up, “c’mon, let’s go home.”

Jooheon chuckled and tightened his grip so Changkyun couldn’t stand up. “Why wait til we get home?” he asked instead. 

Changkyun grunted as he sat back down hard on Jooheon’s lap. “Because your boss could walk in on us any second,” he said, unimpressed, “and they both terrify me.”

“You’re scared of Gunhee and Jihoon?” Jooheon asked rhetorically, “aw, babe, that’s adorable.” He ignored Changkyun’s warnings and buried his face in his boyfriend’s neck, nipping at the soft skin. 

“Jihoon is half a foot shorter than me and looks like he could kill me, and Gunhee just looks mean,” Changkyun said with a pout, “plus, I don’t want their first impression of me to be like that.”

“Jihoon could kill you, but he’s too busy with other projects. Gunhee on the other hand is about as scary as a bunny; he won’t do anything. Plus I’m sure both of them have had their fair share of fun here,” Jooheon said, “plus they won’t bother me unless they need something, which I doubt will happen today.”

Changkyun whined. “Can you at least lock the door?” he mumbled. 

“Fine,” Jooheon conceded. He shifted Changkyun off of his lap so he could go lock the door. He walked back over to the couch and wasted no time settling himself comfortably next to his boyfriend. “Anything else?” he asked quietly. 

“You really wanna do this here?” Changkyun asked. Deep down, the choice to not take this home hurt, because it meant Jooheon was just gonna turn back to working as soon as they were done.

“Yeah, we could use the change of scenery don’t you think?” Jooheon asked, tilting his head. There was something exhilarating about the thought of having his way with Changkyun on his studio couch.

“Sure,” Changkyun said quietly before he leaned forward to kiss Jooheon softly. 

Jooheon smiled into the kiss. He found himself melting almost immediately; he didn’t realize how much he missed his boyfriend until moments like this. Even though he was growing bored of the slow pace, he let Changkyun enjoy it for a few minutes. 

Changkyun put his weight into his hands and pushed Jooheon down onto his back without ever breaking the kiss. 

Jooheon grunted as his back collided with the couch. His hand came up to rest on Changkyun’s waist and he immediately tightened his grip. 

Changkyun finally pulled away for air, sitting up on Jooheon’s lap. “I missed you,” he said again.

“I missed you too,” Jooheon panted. It wasn’t a lie; he really missed having time to spend with the younger man. He stared up at his boyfriend fondly, reveling in how beautiful he was. “Get back down here,” he said after a moment. 

Changkyun leaned back down, but he bypassed Jooheon’s lips in favor of latching onto his jaw instead. He nipped and sucked at the skin there until a small bruise formed. 

“Not somewhere visible,” Jooheon said, shoving at Changkyun’s chest. He didn’t mind getting marked up, but he wanted to maintain some sort of professionalism now that he was working.

“It’ll be gone before you have to perform,” Changkyun said, “besides, you’ve done me up much worse.”

“You didn’t have bosses you had to meet with,” Jooheon grumbled. He kept his hands against Changkyun’s chest, but didn’t push him off again. 

“No, I had professors and Hyunwoo hyung, which is just as bad,” Changkyun said. He moved away from Jooheon’s neck though, sitting up and ordering his boyfriend to take off his shirt. 

Jooheon rolled his eyes, but obediently sat up to take his shirt off. He dropped the shirt over the side of the couch and laid back down, pulling Changkyun with him. 

Changkyun scooted back a little bit, sucking hickeys into Jooheon’s chest instead. As much as he teased Jooheon about leaving him marked up, he actually didn’t mind wearing the bruises on his neck. It was his boyfriend that preferred them hidden.

One hand stayed glued to Changkyun’s waist, while the other buried itself in his hair, ready to pull him off if need be. For now he tipped his head back and let his boyfriend have his fun. “You know I’m gonna have to get you back for this,” he said after a moment. 

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” Changkyun said with a smirk, “you know I like them, even if you don’t.”

“I don’t mind them, just not somewhere visible,” Jooheon grumbled. It was impossible to flip them over on the couch or that’s what Jooheon would have done. Instead he was resigned to lay under his boyfriend until he was let up. 

Changkyun sat up again after a while, keeping a hand on Jooheon’s chest to keep him laying down. “You look good from this angle,” he said, finally rolling his hips back against Jooheon’s.

Jooheon groaned and tightened his grip on Changkyun’s waist. “Does that mean you’re not letting me up?” he asked, pushing against his boyfriend’s hand. 

“Nope,” Changkyun said happily, “I’ve had nothing for company but my own right hand for the last month and a half, so you’re just gonna sit back and take it, alright?”

“Oh is that so?” Jooheon asked with a raised eyebrow. “And what if I don’t want to sit back and take it?” He wondered how long Changkyun would last before he cracked and let Jooheon take control. 

“Well, that sucks for you then, doesn’t it?” Changkyun teased. If Jooheon really wanted to stop, obviously he would, but not yet. 

“Oh you are such a brat,” Jooheon grumbled. “Do your worst,” he added, a bit of challenge in his voice. 

Changkyun grinded back against Jooheon’s hips. His hands roamed over his boyfriend’s chest and abdomen. 

Jooheon groaned again, a little louder this time. “Oh, baby, are you sure you can handle being on top? We can switch you know,” he said, voice strained. 

“Are you sure you can handle me being on top?” Changkyun countered, rolling his hips again. Jooheon was definitely less held together than he was. 

Jooheon whined loudly. “If this is all you’re going to do then yeah,” he said shakily. He didn’t like how easily Changkyun had reduced him to a whining mess; he really did miss his boyfriend. 

“Oh, baby,” Changkyun said, “you are sorely mistaken.” He sat up and pulled off his own shirt, dropping it on the floor. 

Jooheon hummed appreciatively. “I could really get used to this view,” he said with a hum. He squeezed Changkyun’s side gently. 

“Do you have lube here?” Changkyun asked, getting up and taking off his pants. 

Jooheon nodded sheepishly. “Bottom drawer of my desk,” he replied simply. He pushed himself up onto his elbows so he would watch his boyfriend more closely. He hadn’t necessarily planned for this to happen, but it was nice to be prepared just in case. 

Changkyun dug the lube out of Jooheon’s desk. “Take off your pants,” he requested as he inspected the bottle. “Why is so much of this used?”

Jooheon obediently stood up from the couch so he could take his pants off. “It’s an old bottle,” he defended, “and it gets a little lonely being here so much.” His voice grew quieter as he neared the end of his sentence. 

“You have a whole ass boyfriend at home,” Changkyun said, unimpressed, “don’t even try that.” He pushed Jooheon back down on the couch and sat on his thighs. 

Jooheon didn’t have time to protest before he was being shoved back onto the couch. He huffed quietly and resigned himself to whatever Changkyun had up his sleeves. 

Changkyun pushed the front of Jooheon’s boxers down and wrapped a lubed hand around his cock. He stroked slowly, trying to get his boyfriend worked up.

“Changkyun,” Jooheon gasped out. He didn’t think his boyfriend would get to it so fast, but it was probably for the best considering his bosses could be anywhere in the building. 

“Yes?” Changkyun asked sweetly. He kept his movements slow, not wanting to give Jooheon too much too soon. 

“You don’t waste any time,” Jooheon said, like it wasn’t obvious. Against his will, he found himself pushing his hips into his boyfriend’s hand, hoping he would increase his pace. It was wishful thinking for sure, but he knew he would grow annoyed with the teasing quickly. 

“You could finger me so we can speed this whole thing up,” Changkyun said with a shrug. He tossed the lube up toward Jooheon’s head. 

Jooheon nearly dropped the bottle of lube, but managed to snag it before it fell off the couch. He pushed Changkyun’s boxers down to his knees and slicked up his finger. Wasting no time he pressed his index finger to his boyfriend’s hole, but didn’t push in yet. “Are you sure you’re ready, baby?” he asked teasingly. 

“I’m always ready for you,” Changkyun said with a smile. He adjusted his weight, letting gravity push Jooheon’s finger into him. 

Jooheon wasted no time moving his finger, knowing he wasn’t going to hurt his boyfriend. “Is someone a little impatient?” he asked instead. 

Changkyun groaned as Jooheon’s fingers pushed into him. “Yes,” he said plainly, “you haven’t fucked me in weeks. If you’re offering, I’m not hesitating.”

“I still want to enjoy this a little,” Jooheon grumbled. As he said it he pushed in a second finger and buried them to the knuckles. 

Changkyun was about to reply when Jooheon suddenly shoved a second finger in. He gasped and collapsed forward, digging his nails in Jooheon’s chest. “Fuck you,” he said finally, “that was dirty.”

Jooheon chuckled quietly. “Sorry, baby. I told you I wanted to enjoy this,” he said sweetly. He leaned up and settled for kissing Changkyun’s cheek. 

Changkyun grumbled and sat up, biting his lip as he unintentionally pushed Jooheon’s fingers deeper. “Well?” he demanded, “Are you just gonna let them sit there?”

“Maybe,” Jooheon said with a shrug, “what’s in it for me?” He stared up at Changkyun with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’ll have to wait and see,” Changkyun said with a shrug. He wanted to keep his plans a surprise. 

Jooheon looked up at Changkyun curiously, but gave into his boyfriend. He moved his fingers rhythmically, gradually increasing the pace. He had to admit he really was curious what Changkyun could possibly have up his sleeve. 

Changkyun couldn’t help but rock back against Jooheon’s fingers. They felt so good, despite not being nearly long enough. 

Jooheon smirked when he felt Changkyun rock against his fingers. “Feel good, baby?” he asked. He watched his boyfriend for a few more minutes before slipping in a third finger. 

Changkyun pinched Jooheon’s nipple in retaliation. “Quit being a tease,” he muttered, pouting. 

Jooheon’s smirk slipped from his face and he whined loudly. “Oh, Kyunie, this isn’t even close to teasing,” he said. 

“I will bite your fucking nipple off, Lee Jooheon, don’t test me,” Changkyun said, “I’m still mad at you.” He reached back and pushed at Jooheon’s hand, silently saying that he was ready.

Jooheon had to bite back a laugh. “You’re cute when you’re angry,” he mused. He slid his fingers out and slicked himself up using the extra lube. “Ready, baby?” he asked as his hands came up to rest on Changkyun’s waist. 

Changkyun sat up, batting Jooheon’s hands away from his waist. “Just for that, you’re not allowed to touch.” He reached back to steady Jooheon’s cock then sunk down with a drawn out groan. 

“Oh my God, Changkyun,” Jooheon moaned. He tipped his head back and gripped the couch. His other hand came to rest on his boyfriend’s thigh, almost as a challenge. 

Changkyun pushed Jooheon’s hand off his thigh and started to slowly lift himself up. He waited until he was seated on just the head before dropping down again. 

Jooheon growled but obediently let go of Changkyun’s leg, gripping onto the edge of the couch instead. He let out another loud moan when his boyfriend sunk down again. “Y-you feel s-so good,” he stuttered out. 

Changkyun started slowly increasing his speed and it wasn’t long before he was practically bouncing in his boyfriend’s lap. His legs burned though and he knew he physically couldn’t keep up the act much longer.

Jooheon bit his lip to keep himself quiet but it didn’t work. A string of whimpers fell from his lips. His hands gripped the couch so hard his knuckles turned white. After a while, he noticed Changkyun’s pace start to falter and he wondered if he was getting tired. 

Changkyun wasn’t about to  _ admit  _ that he couldn’t keep going; that would just give Jooheon the upper hand. Instead, he kept himself firmly seated, clenching and grinding instead. 

Jooheon sucked in a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. It was taking all the control he had not to run his hands all over his boyfriend’s body. “Changkyun,” he said warningly. He wouldn’t last much longer if his boyfriend kept this up. 

“Yes, baby?” Changkyun asked sweetly. He just barely managed to keep the waver out of his voice. 

“You need to be careful or I’m going to break your rule,” Jooheon threatened. He tried to sound serious, but his strained voice worked against him. 

“You break my rule and I’ll fucking walk out,” Changkyun groaned out, “I don’t need you to help me get off.”

Jooheon didn’t think Changkyun would actually walk out, but he didn’t want to risk it. Growling in frustration, he forced his eyes open and sat up, enjoying the view instead. 

Changkyun started to move slowly again. His thighs immediately cramped up and he hoped the resulting whimper sounded like pleasure rather than pain. 

Jooheon didn’t miss the odd look that crossed Changkyun’s face. He let go of the couch and reached for his boyfriend, but quickly stopped himself. “Kyunie, are you okay?” he asked quietly. 

“I’m fine,” Changkyun said, taking a hard seat, “I just need to stay like this for a minute.”

“Don’t push yourself, baby,” Jooheon said, back to teasing, “I can take control if you need to stop.” 

“No,” Changkyun said stubbornly, “I don’t wanna do that.” He was going to finish this. 

Jooheon rolled his eyes. He didn’t bother trying to stop the loud moan that spilled from his lips. Changkyun had him teetering on the edge and he was desperately trying to hold out. 

Changkyun continued rolling his hips as best as he could. There was only so much he could without spilling over embarrassingly early. 

Jooheon’s hand gripped onto the edge of the couch again. “Kyunie, I’m close,” he whimpered. 

Changkyun smiled wickedly and clenched down around Jooheon, circling his hips tightly. “Cum then,” he said. 

Jooheon couldn’t help it; his hands flew to Changkyun’s waist and he gripped his boyfriend tightly. He came with a loud cry and whined as his boyfriend continued to move his hips. 

Changkyun moaned as he felt Jooheon cum inside him. He collapsed forward, breathing heavily.

Jooheon leaned back against the couch. He was breathing heavily and his hands absentmindedly ran up and down Changkyun’s sides. 

It took Changkyun a second to get himself together. Once he did, he got up with a groan of pain and started getting dressed. 

“Kyunie, where are you going?” Jooheon asked confusedly. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and reached out for his boyfriend. 

“Home,” Changkyun said. He pulled his jeans up over his hips and zipped them up before grabbing his shirt off the ground.

“Home? You...you’re leaving already? I thought you missed me,” Jooheon said, hiding the hurt in his voice. He had expected Changkyun to stay and take a nap, not run immediately home, especially considering he didn’t even finish himself off. 

“You’re busy, aren’t you?” Changkyun asked coldly. He fixed his shirt and grabbed his jacket off a chair. “I’ll see you at home.”

Jooheon was taken aback; what the hell happened? “Wait, Changkyun,” he said, scrambling off the couch. He quickly pulled his boxers up and grabbed his pants off the floor. 

Changkyun didn’t bother to wait for Jooheon to pull himself together; he was still fuming. He left the studio, heading for the front of the building. 

“I’m gonna come home with you,” Jooheon mumbled to the empty studio. He pulled his pants on and collapsed back onto the couch. Was a quick fuck really all his boyfriend wanted? Jooheon shook his head, he didn’t like that thought at all. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't yell at us for not actually knowing how royalty payments work.

Changkyun felt like crying when he got home. He was gonna be stuck here by himself until Jooheon got home in the wee hours of the morning. Their relationship was tumbling downhill over this stupid album and Changkyun really wasn’t sure if it was worth it. This was Jooheon’s dream, his career, and Changkyun wasn’t sure if he could handle being on the back burner for the rest of his life. 

Jooheon eventually dragged himself from the couch and snagged his shirt off the floor. He winced when he saw the hickeys littering his bare chest and quickly pulled the material over his head. He took his time cleaning up the studio and finally plopped himself back in his chair. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to focus on anything and instead pillowed his head in his hands on his desk. 

Changkyun was proven right, of course. He laid on the couch until well after midnight, waiting for Jooheon to come home. Eventually, he gave up and went to bed, locking the bedroom door behind him. Jooheon could sleep on the couch, if he even came home at all.

Jooheon eventually pulled himself together and was able to get some odds and ends done. It was much later than he anticipated when he finally finished up and headed home, but he wasn’t worried. Changkyun was pissed at him so there was no point in being home with him. When he finally got to their apartment, he forgoed the bathroom opting to go right to bed, but found that his bedroom door was locked. Jooheon thought his mind was playing a trick on him so he tried again, but sure enough the lock wouldn’t budge. He debated banging on the door, but he knew Changkyun wouldn’t open it even if he did wake up. With a huff, Jooheon turned around and went to sleep in his boyfriend’s room instead. 

Changkyun wasn’t able to fall asleep. Being in Jooheon’s room, surrounded by the scent of his boyfriend’s cologne but without his boyfriend, was disheartening. Was this how it was going to be now that Jooheon was producing full time? Would he ever have any time with his boyfriend? Changkyun didn’t want to be selfish but he personally couldn’t handle being sidelined like that. 

Jooheon dragged himself out of bed pretty early the following morning. He didn’t have class until the afternoon so he wanted to get a few hours in the studio before then. Luckily he had some extra clothes lying around Changkyun’s room, which was what he changed into before going to wash up in the bathroom. 

Changkyun didn’t sleep very well and woke up much earlier than he would have liked. Instead of wallowing in bed, he got up and went to the kitchen to make himself breakfast. Knowing Jooheon, he was probably already gone and, sure enough, the couch was empty. 

Jooheon was surprised to find Changkyun in the kitchen when he walked in. “Done holding my room hostage?” he asked before he could stop himself. 

Changkyun flinched in surprise when Jooheon suddenly spoke from behind him. “I was under the impression that it’s our room but I can move back to my own if that’s where you want to take this,” he said coolly. 

“If it’s ours then who are you to lock it so I can’t get in?” Jooheon challenged. Here they were, arguing again. It seemed like this happened more and more often and he sometimes wondered if it was still worth it. 

“It doesn’t feel very good to be shut out, does it?” Changkyun asked mockingly. He turned off the stove and scooped his eggs out of the pan onto a plate. “Here,” he muttered, shoving the plate at Jooheon, “I’m not hungry anymore.”

“I’ve never locked you out of the room because I’m not a child,” Jooheon growled, “I don’t want your eggs either.” He left his hands by his side. “Any other stunts you wanna pull before I go?” 

“You lock me out of everything else,” Changkyun grumbled, “keep doing it and you might find that I’ve just packed up and gone.” He brushed past Jooheon and headed for the bedroom. 

Jooheon sighed loudly. He didn’t have time for this, but he couldn’t leave with Changkyun still angry, no matter how much he wanted to. “ _ You’re  _ gonna pack up and leave? Oh please, Changkyun, don’t be ridiculous,” he said as he followed his boyfriend, “I don’t have time for games so either we talk about this like adults or I’m gonna go to the studio and work on the only thing that’s gonna help us get away from Hyunwoo hyung.”

“Fine,” Changkyun bit out, whirling around and grabbing the bedroom door, “but don’t be surprised if you get home at three in the morning and I’m no longer here.” With that, he slammed the bedroom door in Jooheon’s face. 

Jooheon sighed sadly. “Have it your way,” he said through the door. With that he headed through the apartment towards the front door. He wasn’t planning on going back to the studio after class, but at this point he knew he needed to get the album done sooner rather than later. 

Changkyun went to class fuming, and went home fuming, and went to Minhyuk’s still fuming. He and Kihyun had finally fixed their problems, but now it was Changkyun and Jooheon that we’re having the issue. If anyone could help Changkyun figure out what to do, it was Minhyuk.

Jooheon lost more time than he realized so he didn’t get as much as he wanted done, but that was okay because after his classes he got right back to work. He managed to finish the third song and immediately got to work on the fourth. 

“Does he know that you’re upset about this?” Minhyuk asked, glancing up from his laptop. Changkyun nodded. “I told him yesterday but all he wanted to do was fuck on the studio couch and go back to work. He says he’s doing it for us, but does that even matter when he obviously doesn’t even care about me anymore?”

Jooheon was stuck so he went looking for Gunhee or Jihoon. Unfortunately he couldn’t find either of the producers so he went back to his own studio. He still had to finish lyrics up for the two new songs he was going to record so that was what he focused on instead. 

“And this morning,” Changkyun ranted, “I tried talking to him again and telling him how I felt about it and he just acted like I have no right to be upset! He’s so frustrating!”

Jooheon sat back and reread both of his new songs’ lyrics. He was actually kinda proud of how they turned out. The next step was recording them so that was what he did. 

“Did you actually try to talk to him? Or did you just snap at him and push him away?” Minhyuk asked knowingly. Changkyun flushed and looked away. “Maybe,” he said shyly. 

Getting the recording studio setup took more time than Jooheon anticipated, but that didn’t matter. Soon enough he was recording the first song. Everything he was thinking about completely slipped from his mind and all he was focused on was his rapping. 

“You should text him,” Minhyuk said wisely, “Kihyunnie and I would have saved ourselves four weeks of pain if I had just texted him and told him I needed things to change.” Changkyun nodded. He knew that. With a sigh, he pulled out his phone and texted Jooheon.  _ We need to talk. _

Jooheon was just about to start recording his second song when his phone lit up. He was surprised that Changkyun had texted him, but he knew this was coming. For a moment he debated telling Changkyun to come to the studio, but if his boyfriend was going to break up with him he’d rather be home so he could pack his things. “I’ll be home in thirty minutes,” he replied before starting to clean everything up. 

Changkyun sighed and started getting his things together.  _ I’ll be there in forty five _ , he replied before heading for the bus. 

As expected Jooheon beat Changkyun home. He decided to take a quick shower in the meantime. Who knew maybe it would be his last in the apartment. 

When Changkyun got home, he could hear Jooheon in the shower. He put his stuff in the bedroom and went to wait on the couch.

Jooheon quickly dried off and got dressed, knowing Changkyun was probably waiting for him. Sure enough his boyfriend was on the couch when he entered the living room. “You wanted to talk,” he said as he walked over to the couch. 

“I do,” Changkyun said with a heavy sigh, “we need to talk about our relationship and your work and what’s happening with us because this isn’t working.”

Jooheon crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re absolutely right, but we could have had this conversation a long time ago,” he said with a tone of annoyance. He didn’t know what knocked sense into Changkyun, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

“No, we couldn’t, because you haven’t been home long enough for us to talk about anything,” Changkyun said. He kept his voice even, not giving in to Jooheon’s nagging. 

Jooheon rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to go in circles. What do you want, Changkyun?” he asked, cutting right to the chase. 

“I am not a sidepiece for you,” Changkyun said firmly, “I am not going to sit by idly waiting for you to remember that I exist. I understand that you’re doing this album to make sure that we can get back on our own feet, but honestly, Jooheon? I’d rather be dirt poor with you than financially stable without you and right now we’re headed toward the latter.”

“Need I remind you that you wanted this? I was going to wait until the summer to start the album so I had more time, but you were the one who pushed for me to start it sooner so we could stop relying on Hyunwoo hyung. You got what you wanted and now you don’t like it?,” Jooheon paused for a moment and took a deep breath, “sure it sucks not being able to see each other, but what do you want from me? I’m not going to let us go back to where we were.” 

“You would be doing the same thing in a few months either way,” Changkyun said, “it just feels like you don’t actually care about me anymore.”

“If I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t be busting my ass to get us in a good spot,” Jooheon said, “look if you want me to spend less time in the studio that’s fine. I can do that no problem. What I can’t do is you getting pissed at me and then expecting me to be a mind reader.” They were so close to being out of this situation and in a good spot and Changkyun was delaying it; it was frustrating to say the least. 

Changkyun groaned in frustration. “I’m telling you how I feel and all you’re doing is dismissing it!” he said, growing heated, “I’m trying to communicate with you, Jooheon. I don’t want this to fall apart but I can’t keep living like this either.”

“I don’t want this to fall apart either, but it’s kinda hard to believe that way when you show up at my studio whining that you miss me and then storm out in a rage when I pay attention to you. I want to make you happy, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” Jooheon said, keeping his voice even, “this isn’t going to fix itself overnight though.” 

“All I wanted was for you to spend one night with me, but you chose work over me,” Changkyun said, “you would have rather had a quick fuck on your couch so you could get back to working than come home and actually have a nice night in with me. I don’t expect you to drop everything at my beck and call but god damn it, Jooheon, I don’t ask for that much.”

“I was going to come home with you right after, which I know you’re not going to believe, but it’s true. I told you to wait a minute and you ignored me and left anyway. If you don’t want to be around me, I’m not going to force you,” Jooheon said slowly, “I’ll...I’ll make sure I’m home at reasonable hours from now on.” On top of missing his boyfriend, the lack of sleep was starting to take its toll. 

“I’ll admit I was a little unreasonable the other night,” Changkyun said quietly, “you just seemed like you wanted to deal with me and get me out of the way so you could keep working and it hit a nerve.”

“No, Kyunie, I really did want to spend time with you. I’m sorry it seemed like I was brushing you off,” Jooheon said sincerely. He uncrossed his arms and sank onto the opposite end of the couch. “I want to fix this and I don’t want to lose you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Changkyun said, “but I hate just sitting around waiting for you. I know you don’t like relying on hyung, but you don’t have to push yourself so hard to get the album done.”

Jooheon nodded and dropped his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kyunie. I got distracted by the fact that we’re so close to living the life we want to live and I just want to get there already,” he said quietly. He didn’t mind sacrificing himself for the album, but he hated that he hurt Changkyun. 

“I’m sorry too,” Changkyun said, “I know you’re doing all of it for us and I should be more patient with you.”

Jooheon sighed and reached out for his boyfriend. “Come here,” he whispered. 

Changkyun slid over to his boyfriend, settling against Jooheon’s side comfortably. He hoped things would be better now. 

Jooheon wrapped his arms around Changkyun and held him tightly. “I’m so sorry, Kyunie. Things are going to be better I promise,” he said quietly. 

“I trust you,” Changkyun said, “just please don’t overwhelm yourself anymore, okay? It’s rough on both of us.”

Jooheon nodded. “I won’t. I promise,” he said sincerely. And he stayed true to his word. The next few months he worked a lot less and his and Changkyun’s relationship gradually repaired itself. Finally the day the album was dropping had arrived. Jihoon had personally handed Jooheon the first copy and he couldn’t have been happier. He hadn’t told Changkyun the album was done yet, opting to surprise his boyfriend when he got home instead, which was where he was headed now. 

Changkyun was sitting at the breakfast bar in their apartment, finishing up his coding final. It was the last assignment he had to turn in for the semester and he was ready to shoot his brains out. The code was miles long and there was a tiny typo somewhere messing up the whole thing. It was agonizing. 

Jooheon slipped into the apartment, the album hidden behind his back, and walked over to where his boyfriend was sitting. “Hi, baby, how’s it going?” he asked, propping his chin on Changkyun’s shoulder. 

“I want to die,” Changkyun groaned, dropping his head forward into his hands, “a hundred pages of code with one typo.”

Jooheon pouted. “I’m sorry, Kyunie, but it’s almost over. If you want to take a little break I have a present for you,” he said, excitement dripping from his voice. 

“God, please, anything,” Changkyun said, spinning around on his stool. He would welcome any distraction right now.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” Jooheon instructed. He took a step back and rocked back and forth on his heels, too excited to stand still. 

Changkyun sat up straight, closing his eyes and holding his hands out flat. He wasn’t sure what to expect. 

Jooheon placed the album in Changkyun’s hands, face down. He knew his boyfriend would be a little confused at first, but that would make his excitement when he realized what it was that much more adorable. “Okay, open your eyes!” he said. 

Changkyun’s face scrunched into confusion until he opened his eyes and saw the album in his hands. “It’s out?” he asked excitedly, looking up at his boyfriend. 

Jooheon nodded proudly. “It dropped today and that’s the first copy,” he said excitedly, “it’s over, it’s done and now we just have to hope it does well.” 

“That’s amazing, baby, I’m so proud of you!” Changkyun practically launched himself off the chair to hug Jooheon tightly. “Let’s put the CD in, I wanna hear everything.”

Jooheon stumbled back a step when Changkyun slammed into him and hugged his boyfriend back. “Let me get my laptop,” he said, disappearing down the hallway. He was back in record time and set the device down next to his boyfriend’s on the breakfast bar. 

Changkyun carefully pulled the disk out of the package and slid it into Jooheon’s computer. While it booted up, he flipped through the little photobook that had been included in the album. Jooheon looked so hot in all of the pictures.

A few minutes later, the first song was blasting from Jooheon’s speakers. The relief he felt now that this project was over was indescribable. He felt himself physically relax and he wrapped his arms around Changkyun’s waist and leaned against his boyfriend to keep himself upright. 

Changkyun found himself jamming along to every song on the album, and not just because they were Jooheon’s. “Heonie, that was so good,” he said when they had finally listened to what he thought was everything. Another track started up though, this one slower than the others. 

Jooheon smiled and tightened his arms around his boyfriend. The last song was the one he spent the most time on. It was a lot different than his usual style, he had even tried singing for it, which made it that much more special to him. From the moment he decided to produce his own album, he knew he wanted to write a song for Changkyun. He had spent so long making sure everything, especially the lyrics, were absolutely perfect; hopefully Changkyun liked it. 

Changkyun was nearly in tears by the time the last song was finished. It was obvious how much passion and emotion Jooheon had poured into that song and he found himself hugging his boyfriend tightly, never wanting to let go. 

“Do you like it?” Jooheon asked barely above a whisper. Judging by Changkyun’s reaction he already knew the answer, but he had to ask anyway. 

“I love it,” Changkyun whispered back, “thank you.” He pulled back just slightly to kiss his boyfriend deeply. 

Jooheon’s sigh of relief was cut off by Changkyun’s lips on his own. He smiled into the kiss and wasted no time deepening it. His arms tightened around his boyfriend, pulling him completely against him. 

“I wanna see what the internet’s saying,” Changkyun said as he pulled away slightly. He pushed Jooheon onto the stool and sat on his lap, quickly closing his coding program and opening Twitter instead.

“Kyunie, it just came out and I’m a no-name. The internet isn’t going to be saying anything,” Jooheon said quietly. He kept himself wrapped around his boyfriend and buried his head in the crook of his neck. 

“Yeah, but I’m sure both Gunhee and Jihoon have promoted it, plus the label and whoever else is under the label.” Changkyun typed Jooheon’s name into the search bar and was pleasantly surprised when plenty of results popped up, including his boyfriend’s own Twitter. “Look, babe, you gained so many followers that they verified you!”

“Kyunie, don’t mess with me like th-,” Jooheon froze when he untucked his head and realized that Changkyun was telling the truth. He stared at the computer for a moment waiting for the little blue checkmark to disappear like a mirage. 

Changkyun read out the tweets as he scrolled through. “‘Who is Lee Jooheon and how do I suck his dick?’ ‘Rhythm for album of the year.’ ‘Whoever that last track is about is so fucking lucky.’ There’s a lot about the last song actually.”

A wide smile pulled at Jooheon’s lips as he skimmed the tweets Changkyun scrolled through. “Little do they know, I’m the lucky one,” he said, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek. He couldn’t quite believe how much positive feedback there was and he tensed up, knowing it was only a matter of time before they stumbled on a not so pleasant comment. 

Changkyun continued scrolling for a little bit before he turned to look at Jooheon. “You should check with Gunhee and Jihoon about us going public,” he said quietly, “everyone seems to want to know who the last song is about and I’m sure it would be better to come out now versus after you’re established.”

Jooheon nodded in agreement. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow, but they shouldn’t have a problem with it. They know who you are and there’s no dating ban in the contract. Are you sure  _ you  _ want that though?” he asked seriously. It wasn’t guaranteed that he would make it big in the industry, but he didn’t want to drag Changkyun into the spotlight if his boyfriend wasn’t comfortable with that. 

“I don’t mind,” Changkyun said, “I barely use my social media as it is, so it’s not like anyone would really be able to harass me.”

“I’ll kill anyone that bothers you,” Jooheon said darkly. His tone and expression softened not a moment later and he looked into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I really couldn’t have done this without you.” 

“Things are gonna get better now,” Changkyun said happily, kissing Jooheon again, “we should tell everyone else about the album, have a little party.”

“Yes, they are,” Jooheon agreed, “I don’t think a party’s really necessary though. We can always just celebrate the two of us.” He wasn’t sure he was quite ready for the others’ opinions on his album. 

“I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if they already know,” Changkyun said, “Hyungwon definitely does, which means Hoseok knows, which means Kihyun and Minhyuk both know. The only one that might not know is Hyunwoo hyung, because he’s oblivious.”

Jooheon chuckled. “Well we’re gonna have to talk to him when we decide to break off the contract so we could always tell him then,” he suggested. 

“Right,” Changkyun said. He was a little nervous for that conversation. As much as he had enjoyed Hyunwoo’s help, he did recognize that the older man had a problem with letting them go without something and he was a little worried that Hyunwoo wouldn’t let the contract go so easily. 

Jooheon hugged Changkyun tightly again. “We’re so close,” he whispered. He never thought in a million years they would get to this point yet here they were, so close to the life they always dreamed of.

“Just another month, til those royalties start coming in,” Changkyun said excitedly, “but we have to warn hyung, it’s only fair.”

Jooheon nodded. “I’ll text him and see when he's free to meet next,” he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He had been texting Hyunwoo weekly updates so he knew Jooheon was close to finishing, but not that he was done. 

Hyunwoo had been receiving his agreed upon weekly updates from Jooheon, and some weekly updates about Changkyun, who still apparently didn’t have his number. So he wasn’t entirely surprised when he received a message at the beginning of May that Jooheon’s album was done and they should meet up soon. With a heavy sigh, he scheduled lunch the following week. It was almost over. 

“We’re meeting him next week for lunch,” Jooheon announced when he received a reply. He typed back a message thanking Hyunwoo before putting his phone back into his pocket. 

The following week found Hyunwoo sitting in the cute deli Jooheon had chosen, waiting for the two boys. He knew exactly what this conversation was going to be about and he wasn’t excited for it at all.

Jooheon pulled the door open for Changkyun and immediately spotted Hyunwoo already sitting at a table. He smiled and waved before guiding his boyfriend over. “Hi, hyung,” he greeted politely. 

Hyunwoo smiled and waved as the boys approached. “I wasn’t sure what you would want to eat, so I didn’t order anything,” he said when they reached him. 

“Oh that’s not a problem. I can order for all of us,” Jooheon said. After figuring out what Hyunwoo wanted, he stepped up to the counter. Not more than a few minutes later, he carried some drinks back to the table and took his seat. 

Hyunwoo had been chatting with Changkyun about how his semester had gone, now that it was over, and gratefully accepted the drink from Jooheon. “So,” he said heavily, “what did you want to talk about?”

Jooheon took a deep breath. “We just wanted to talk to you about what all of our bills cost because we’re hoping now that the album’s out we’ll be able to start supporting ourselves soon,” he said. 

“Right,” Hyunwoo said with a nod. He had expected as much. “Are your royalties biweekly or monthly?”

“Biweekly,” Jooheon replied simply. He was still nervous that the royalties wouldn’t be enough, especially because they didn’t have a backup plan. 

“They should be a fairly steady amount at the beginning,” Hyunwoo said, “when you get the first check, let me know what it is and we can figure out how to transition you off my assistance from there.”

Jooheon nodded and stood up to get their food. He turned around quickly so Hyunwoo wouldn’t catch his disappointed look. He was grateful for everything that the older man had done for him, but he was more than ready to move on. 

“I know you want to move on quickly,” Hyunwoo said when Jooheon sat down again, “but I would hate myself if I let you go before you were financially stable.” He would hate himself for letting them go at all, but that was private information. 

Jooheon sighed and nodded again as he passed out the sandwiches. “I understand,” he said after a moment, “thank you for looking out for us.” His conversation with Hyungwon all those months ago replayed in his mind and he mustered a small smile. 

Hyunwoo thanked Jooheon for the sandwich with a small smile. “I haven’t had the chance to listen to the album yet,” he said conversationally, “but Hoseok won’t stop talking about it. I think he likes your music better than Hyungwon’s.”

Jooheon turned his head down, trying but failing to his blushing cheeks. “I’m really glad he likes it, but I doubt it’s that much,” he said through his wide smile. They all talked together while they ate and bid their goodbyes when they had finished. A few more weeks found them meeting with Hyunwoo again, which would probably be the last time they saw the older man. 

Hyunwoo was almost dreading the last meeting. Once they got this over with, he would be right back where he was nine months ago.

Jooheon had proposed meeting in Hyunwoo’s office, where they could avoid distraction and be somewhere more private. He didn’t register the walk through the building until he was standing outside the door. Raising his arm he knocked a few times. For some reason that was beyond him, he was pretty nervous for this meeting. 

“Come in,” Hyunwoo called. He closed down what he was working on and looked up as the boys entered the room.

“Hi, hyung,” Jooheon greeted politely as he approached the desk. He wasted no time slipping into one of the chairs across from Hyunwoo and folded his hands together. 

“Alright, I’ve done some calculations with the numbers you gave me the other day and if your royalty payments stay the same for the next few months, you should be completely set from here on out. Your sales are actually going up, so you guys will be more than okay.” Hyunwoo slid some papers over the desk.

Jooheon heaved a sigh of relief and picked up the papers so he could read them. They were going to be okay. “Thank you for doing all of the math,” he said gratefully, crunching numbers had never been his forte. “How do you want us to pay you back?” he asked, raising his eyes from the paper. 

“I don’t,” Hyunwoo said firmly, “this arrangement is not a debt. Think of it like a grant or a scholarship instead.” 

“Are you su-?” Jooheon quickly closed his mouth. “Thank you. Really thank you so much. I have no idea where we would be if you didn’t agree to help us,” he said instead. 

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said, “and if you ever need anything else, my door is always open to you.”

Jooheon didn’t know why he was surprised by Hyunwoo’s offer, but he was. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. He dropped his eyes to reread the paper that was still clutched tightly in his hand. They really did owe everything to Hyunwoo and even though they had a rocky start, Jooheon wouldn’t change anything that happened. 

“If that’s all, then I guess this is goodbye,” Hyunwoo said, standing up and buttoning his suit jacket. He stepped around the desk. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Jooheon said awkwardly as he stood as well. He pushed the chair back into its original spot and stared at Hyunwoo, almost like he was waiting for an invitation to leave.

“I’ll walk you to the elevator,” Hyunwoo offered. He stepped over and opened the door, motioning for the boys to go ahead of him. 

Jooheon fell into step next to Changkyun. He restrained himself from taking his boyfriend’s hand in his own. When they got to the elevator, he pushed the down button and stepped to the side to wait. 

Once the elevator doors opened, Hyunwoo reached out to shake Jooheon’s and Changkyun’s hands. 

Jooheon shook Hyunwoo’s hand with a smile on his face. “Thank you, hyung, for everything,” he said sincerely. 

Hyunwoo saw the boys off then immediately headed back to his office and paged Hoseok. He needed to talk.

Hyunwoo didn’t usually bother Hoseok during the day unless it was important so when the call came through that Hyunwoo needed him, Hoseok dropped what he was doing and headed down the hallway. He didn’t even bother knocking and just let himself into the office. 

“It’s over,” Hyunwoo said quietly as soon as Hoseok closed the door, “it’s all done, they’re financially stable, and my dumb ass is actually sad about it.”

Hoseok sighed sadly. He should have known this would be the topic of discussion. “It’s understandable that you got attached to the kids. It’s been the better part of a year and you watched their lives turn completely around. But at least you don’t have to deal with Jooheon’s bullshit anymore,” he said. 

“Jooheon’s such a good kid,” Hyunwoo said, a little wistfully, “I honestly didn’t even mind it toward the end. He was just trying to protect himself and Changkyun; I can understand that.”

Hoseok forced himself not to roll his eyes. “Boy, hyung, they really got you wrapped around their fingers. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if they were able to end this so easily it’s probably for the best you do the same. It’s no use wallowing over a couple of kids you used to complain about because they were so difficult,” he said, keeping his tone as gentle as possible. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” Hyunwoo asked, “just sit at home alone? Doing nothing, talking to no one? I’m tired of that routine, Hoseok.”

“Then you need to find someone. Personally I think you would be better meeting someone closer to your age. I know it’s hard for you to meet people, but you manage just fine at our events. You just have to put yourself out there and little and Kihyunnie and I can help you,” Hoseok said. 

“You know I can’t talk to people, Hoseok,” Hyunwoo said with a sigh, “and I think...I think I really like those kids.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened slightly. “I don’t think you care about them as much as you think you do,” he said carefully, “they were the most human contact you’ve had outside of our group in a long time and I think you latched onto that. You like the idea of them, not the kids themselves.”

“Do you know how sad I was when I realized they were dating?” Hyunwoo said, “that wasn’t for no reason. They’re amazing kids, Hoseok.”

“Oh, hyung,” Hoseok murmured sadly, “I don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Those kids obviously don’t share the same feelings as you or they wouldn’t have ended this so willingly. I know it’s hard, but for your own sake try and let them go. I’ll help you find someone who is worth your time and deserves your kindness,” he said. He was beginning to feel bad that they had gotten Hyunwoo in this position to begin with. 

Hyunwoo shook his head. “I don’t think I want to deal with anyone new for a while,” he said quietly, standing up, “I think I’m gonna take the rest of the day, I’m not gonna be able to focus.”

“You’re not going home alone,” Hoseok said, standing as well. “You’re just going to wallow and I’m not going to let that happen.” 

“No, I’ll be fine,” Hyunwoo said, “you stay here and finish up for the day. That’s an order.” He grabbed his coat off the back of his chair.

“Don’t make me call Kihyun,” Hoseok threatened. He knew the younger man would be on his side, but that didn’t mean Hyunwoo would listen to him either. 

Hyunwoo gave Hoseok a Look. “You are dismissed, goodbye,” he said pointedly. 

“Fine,” Hoseok said simply, “you know where to find me if you actually want help.” He left the office before Hyunwoo and made his way back to his own. If his best friend was going to be stubborn then Hoseok was going to let him. 


	23. Chapter 23

“That’s really it,” Changkyun said excitedly as they got into Jooheon’s car, “we’re on our own.” It was a daunting prospect, but he didn’t mind.

Jooheon gripped Changkyun’s hand tightly in his own. “We’re on our own,” he whispered, “I can’t believe it. Kyunie, it’s all…it’s all over.” He was beyond relieved; the only person he had to worry about now was Changkyun and he couldn’t wait to give his boyfriend the love and attention he deserved. 

There was something Changkyun couldn’t get out of his head though. “Hyung was acting weird, though, right?” he asked. 

Jooheon paused for a moment, thinking back on their meeting. “He seemed quieter. Maybe a little more serious than usual, but this was pretty important,” he said, “I don’t think it’s something to be worried about.”

Changkyun wasn’t sure about that, but he opted to drop it. There was no use worrying over a guy he was never gonna see again.

“You know, this is going to be our first summer together that we get to actually enjoy,” Jooheon said after a minute. He let his thumb rub that back of Changkyun’s hand, while he drove with one hand. 

“I enjoy every summer with you,” Changkyun said quietly, “doesn’t matter our situation.” As long as he was with Jooheon, he was okay.

“You are such a sap,” Jooheon murmured. He looked at Changkyun when he parked the car. “But we can actually do stuff together this summer. We can go to the beach, go out for ice cream, hell we can even just walk around the city one night.” He was practically buzzing with excitement. 

“We can go on vacation,” Changkyun said quietly. They had never been on a vacation before. Changkyun himself had only left the city a handful of times before. 

“We could go to Gwangju,” Jooheon suggested slowly, “or maybe Busan.” He had never left Seoul and as long as he was with his boyfriend he didn’t care where they went. 

“My parents moved to Gwangju,” Changkyun said quietly, “so Busan sounds better to me.”

“Wherever you want to go,” Jooheon said. He gave Changkyun’s hand a squeeze before finally letting go to climb out of the car. 

Changkyun got out of the car and let Jooheon lead him upstairs. “We should probably find a new apartment,” he said. 

“Do you not like this one anymore? Or would you prefer something with only one bedroom?” Jooheon asked. 

“Hyunwoo hyung owns this one,” Changkyun said, “and you know he’s not gonna start charging us rent.”

Jooheon nodded. “We can start looking now if you want,” he said. He let them into the apartment and walked over to where his laptop was sitting on the coffee table. 

“The sooner the better, I think,” Changkyun said with a nod. He plopped down on the couch, curling up next to Jooheon.

“I guess the first question would be one or two bedrooms,” Jooheon said. He pulled up the website for finding apartments and began scrolling through some of the options that came up. 

“One,” Changkyun said immediately. If they broke up, he would just move out. 

Jooheon nodded and changed the filter. He set the location so that they would be near their university. They still only had one car, but hopefully that would change by the time it started getting cold so they wouldn’t have to worry about walking. 

Changkyun peeked over Jooheon’s shoulder. “Is there a filter for the landlord or property owner?” he asked. It would be dumb if they left Hyunwoo’s property just to end up on a different one. 

Jooheon scrolled to the top of the page and looked at filters he could change. “Uh, it doesn’t look like it, but we’ll check on the individual site before we decide on anything,” he said. 

Changkyun hummed and nodded. He propped his head on Jooheon’s shoulder. “Love you,” he mumbled. 

“I love you too,” Jooheon replied immediately. After about thirty minutes of looking he had three options. “What do you think of these?” 

“There’s no harm in going to check them out,” Changkyun said, “tomorrow.” He stifled a yawn into Jooheon’s shoulder. 

“Sure thing, babe,” Jooheon said quietly. He closed the laptop and put it back on the coffee table. Gathering Changkyun tightly in his arms, he laid down on the couch and shifted so they were both comfortable.

Changkyun happily pillowed his head on Jooheon’s chest. “Is it weird that I kinda miss hyung already?” he asked after a minute. 

Jooheon froze. “You...you miss him?” he asked uncertainly, “you wouldn’t even text the man on your own and now you miss him?”

“I dunno, it’s just weird to know that he’s not there anymore,” Changkyun said with a shrug. 

“He’s there if we really need him, but we knew this was always what was going to happen,” Jooheon said. He rested his head against the arm of the couch and let his eyes fall closed. 

“I know but I didn’t think it would happen this early, honestly,” Changkyun said. He didn’t want to make Jooheon upset. 

Jooheon sighed sadly. “It did go fast,” he said after a moment of silence. 

“And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we’re self sufficient, but it was nice to never have to worry about it. Not that I’m worried, but...y’know.” Changkyun trailed off awkwardly. 

Jooheon pressed his mouth into a hard line. “I think we should wait until we’re a little more financially stable before doing anything big, but as long as we’re smart we’ll be okay,” he said. 

“Right, of course,” Changkyun said, “sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

Jooheon sighed and forced himself to relax. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Kyunie,” he said soothingly. He picked his head up so he could kiss the top of his boyfriend’s head. 

“Love you,” Changkyun mumbled, letting his eyes fall closed. 

“I love you too,” Jooheon whispered sincerely. He let his head fall back against the couch, but he couldn’t fall asleep. While he could understand Changkyun being nervous about them being completely on their own, it was unsettling that his boyfriend missed Hyunwoo beyond the monetary support. 

On the opposite side of town, Hyunwoo was on his couch, staring emptily at the tv with a beer in his hand. He couldn’t understand how the boys had started to affect him so much. It was nonsense, really. 

Jooheon distracted himself by combing his fingers through Changkyun’s soft hair. It always helped calm his thoughts whenever they ran amok. 

When Changkyun woke up, it was starting to get dark out. He groaned and sat up, pulling out of Jooheon’s arms so he could go down the hall to the bathroom. 

Jooheon stood up after Changkyun got up and wandered into the kitchen to scrounge together some dinner for the two of them. He was hungry from not having eaten since that morning.

Changkyun wandered to the kitchen when he was done, wrapping himself around Jooheon. “Can you make grilled cheese?”

“Sure,” Jooheon agreed easily. The hardest part of the whole endeavor was gathering everything he needed with Changkyun glued to his back like a koala, but somehow he managed. 

Changkyun was too comfortable to let go of Jooheon and made his boyfriend cook with him latched on. “Smells good,” he mumbled. 

“It’s all the extra cheese,” Jooheon replied with a hum. He flipped the sandwich and pushed the top down with the spatula. A few minutes later, he slipped it onto a plate and started one for himself. “Eat before it gets too cold.” 

Changkyun detached himself with a whine and trudged over to the breakfast bar to eat his sandwich. He moaned when he took the first bite; Jooheon couldn’t cook many things, but his grilled cheeses were to die for. 

A joke was at the tip of Jooheon’s tongue when he heard Changkyun’s noises of happiness, but he kept his mouth shut. Instead he finished his own sandwich and went to join his boyfriend. 

“This is so good, Heonie,” Changkyun said through a mouthful of cheese, “I love you.”

Jooheon smiled widely. It was amazing how even the littlest things made Changkyun so happy. “I love you too,” he said, “but don’t talk with food in your mouth. I don’t want you to choke.”

Changkyun smiled happily and leaned on Jooheon’s shoulder, popping the last bite into his mouth. 

“You’re so clingy tonight,” Jooheon commented before taking another bite of his sandwich. He hummed happily, wishing he could eat grilled cheese every night for dinner. 

“I just love you a lot,” Changkyun said quietly, “you’re my favorite person.”

“I’m glad I beat out all the tough competition,” Jooheon teased lightly. He only pulled away from Changkyun when he was done eating to throw their dishes in the sink. “Come on, let’s go cuddle some more before bed.” 

“Let’s just cuddle in bed,” Changkyun said, nearly toppling over before righting himself. He grabbed Jooheon’s wrist and pulled him toward the bedroom. 

Jooheon let himself be pulled into the bedroom. He made sure to get changed and snuck into the bathroom quickly to wash up before returning to his boyfriend. He collapsed into bed and opened his arms out of habit. 

Changkyun rolled over on top of his boyfriend with a happy hum. “Hi,” he said with a smile.

“Hi there,” Jooheon said, a bit strained from Changkyun’s weight on his chest. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held him in place. “Are you just gonna stare at me or…?” 

“Mhm,” Changkyun said, adjusting so he wasn’t crushing Jooheon so much, “favorite thing to look at.”

Jooheon took a deep breath. “You really are such a sap,” he said, sitting up slightly to kiss Changkyun’s cheek. With a happy sigh he settled down comfortably. 

Changkyun whined. “I’m not,” he mumbled, “you’re just all I have.”

Jooheon felt a pang of guilt at Changkyun’s words. While he truly loved his boyfriend, he knew that extended into something almost possessive. It was his fault that he was the only thing Changkyun had, but hopefully that could change soon. 

Changkyun snuggled up to Jooheon’s side, hiding his face in Jooheon’s shoulder. “I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you,” he said quietly. 

“Don’t think like that, Kyunie. You aren’t gonna lose me,” Jooheon said, voice strained for an entirely different reason. 

“I better not,” Changkyun said, feigning toughness. If he lost Jooheon, he would be worse than dead.

Jooheon smiled at Changkyun’s attitude. “You won’t. I love you too much for that,” he said softly, “now get some sleep and don’t think about these negative thoughts anymore.”

Changkyun sighed and relaxed. That was easier said than done, but he wasn’t going to push it. 

The next day found Jooheon and Changkyun meeting with landlords and looking at new apartments. By the time they got home late that afternoon, they were down to two options to pick between. 

“I really like the smaller one,” Changkyun said as he headed to the kitchen to make dinner, “we don’t need all that much space.”

Today was Jooheon’s turn to wrap around Changkyun’s back while he cooked. “I agree. And it’s a little closer to school too,” he said with a hum. 

“The only problem is the rent’s steeper,” Changkyun said. He moved around the kitchen as best as he could with a leech on his back.

Jooheon let himself get pulled around the kitchen, whining when he tripped and nearly sent them both tumbling to the ground. “We can wait until a few more royalty checks come in before we make a decision if you want,” he said. 

“I just wanna get out of here sooner rather than later,” Changkyun said, “it’s not impossible, it’ll just take more budgeting.”

“I just want to be careful. I don’t want us to end up back where we were because we got over ambitious,” Jooheon said quietly. He tightened his grip on Changkyun and hid his head in his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“We won’t,” Changkyun said firmly, “if we start heading that way, then I’ll start working again, but we’re gonna be okay now, Heonie, really.”

“I don’t want you to have to work while you’re in school though,” Jooheon said sadly, “the point of this is to finally be able to enjoy our lives.” 

“I need to contribute something,” Changkyun said, “I would hate myself if I just relied on you for everything.”

“You can contribute by finishing school and getting yourself a good job that you’re happy with,” Jooheon said.

Changkyun rolled his eyes. This was obviously not a discussion they were going to have now. “Sure, babe,” he said. 

Jooheon sighed sadly and moved his head so he could prop his chin on Changkyun’s shoulder. “Do you want help?” he asked. 

“No, I got it,” Changkyun said, “why don’t you go lay down for a bit if you’re so tired?”

“I’m not tired,” Jooheon mumbled, “I just wanna spend time with you.” He knew he was being clingy, but he couldn’t help it with the fact that they were moving again looming on the horizon. 

“Well, I can’t move and you’ve already almost sent me face first into the stove once,” Changkyun said, “at least go sit at the breakfast bar.”

Jooheon pouted but obediently let go and went to sit down. He crossed his arms on the counter and pillowed his head on them. 

Changkyun finished up dinner and set it in front of Jooheon. In no time at all, they were curled up in bed.

Jooheon swung one leg over Changkyun, trapping him to the bed. He knew it would annoy his boyfriend, but he buried his head in his neck regardless. 

“It’s too hot,” Changkyun whined, trying to push Jooheon off, “I’m sweating to death.”

“Take your shirt off then,” Jooheon grumbled, retracting his leg. He sat up just long enough to heed his own advice. 

“You’re just tryna get me naked,” Changkyun complained, “you have ulterior motives, don’t you, mister?”

“Yeah, I want to cuddle with you,” Jooheon said with a huff. He pouted to try and help his case, but he wasn’t sure it would work. 

Changkyun rolled his eyes but still stripped off his shirt. “Happy?” he asked, laying back and crossing his arms over his chest.

Jooheon rolled back over and tucked his head into Changkyun’s neck again. “Very,” he said happily. 

Changkyun shifted uncomfortably. He may have been hot, but he had also gained quite a bit of weight recently and he was feeling a bit insecure about it. 

“If you’re really that hot we don’t have to cuddle,” Jooheon said when he felt Changkyun shifting around. He untucked his head and moved a little ways away so he wouldn’t suffocate his boyfriend anymore.

“No, it’s fine,” Changkyun said quietly, “I just don’t feel good, that’s all.”

“I can make you feel better,” Jooheon promised. He leaned back over so he could pepper gentle kisses down Changkyun’s jaw and neck. 

Changkyun grimaced over Jooheon’s head and did his best not to cringe away. This was the opposite of what he wanted right now.

Jooheon paused when he felt Changkyun tense up. “What’s wrong, Kyunie?” he asked quietly. 

“I don’t feel good,” Changkyun said again, “I’d rather not do anything intimate right now.”

“I just wanna help you feel better,” Jooheon said with a pout. Usually the gentle kisses would help calm his boyfriend down, but they were doing the exact opposite tonight. 

“Yeah, well, not right now,” Changkyun said. He could tell Jooheon was upset.

“Sorry, baby,” Jooheon mumbled. He pulled away from his boyfriend and settled down with a small gap between them. 

Changkyun sighed. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I’m just embarrassed.”

Jooheon furrowed his eyebrows. “Embarrassed? You have nothing to be embarrassed about Kyunie, please don’t apologize,” he said gently. 

Changkyun shrugged. “I just don’t look like I used to,” he said finally, “it’s embarrassing.”

“Oh, Kyunie,” Jooheon murmured, finally putting the pieces together, “of course you don’t look the same as you used to, but that’s a good thing. But what really matters is that I love you and I’m always going to love you no matter what.”

“I know that,” Changkyun said with a sigh, “but that doesn’t really matter if I don’t feel comfortable with myself.” He felt bad that Jooheon had to deal with this, with him.

Jooheon carefully reached over and brushed Changkyun’s hair out of his face. “It’s gonna take a little while, but we’ll get you there. I promise,” he said quietly. 

“I don’t think you can, but thank you,” Changkyun said quietly. He reached for his shirt and tugged it back on, covering himself up once again. 

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable, Kyunie,” Jooheon said sincerely. He slid his arm back under his pillow and gave his boyfriend plenty of space. 

“No, it’s not you,” Changkyun said, “it’s all me.”

“Please don’t say that,” Jooheon begged. He already felt guilty enough for upsetting his boyfriend; he couldn’t handle Changkyun blaming himself on top of that. 

“It is though,” Changkyun said, “I know it’s all in my head and yet I can’t ignore it.”

Jooheon sighed sadly. More than anything he wished he could take away all of his boyfriend’s insecurities, but he couldn’t. More than anything he wanted to make Changkyun happy with himself, but he couldn’t. “It’ll take some time, but I promise I’ll be here every step of the way,” he said. 

“All the things I love on you, I hate on myself,” Changkyun said after a moment, laughing sardonically, “isn’t that the stupidest thing?”

Jooheon hid his face in his arms. “No, it’s not,” he mumbled to himself. He didn’t know what more to say or what even to do.

“I love that you’re a little chubby, but I can’t stand the sight of any fat on myself. I love how sharp your eyes are but I hate my own. I love everything about you, but I hate myself.” Changkyun sighed. He felt horrible for making Jooheon upset, but he needed to say  _ something _ .

Jooheon left his face hidden in his pillow so Changkyun couldn’t see his frown. “I would give anything for you to see how beautiful you are. I wish you could look at yourself through my eyes so you know how perfect you are,” he said sincerely. 

“I wish I could see that too,” Changkyun said quietly. Rolling over, he attached himself to Jooheon’s side. He didn’t want to get intimate, but he certainly wanted to be close to his boyfriend. 

Jooheon hesitantly reached out and wrapped his arm around Changkyun to pull him closer. He braved untucking his head and sighed softly. 

“I love you so much,” Changkyun said quietly. He could almost feel tears gathering in his eyes. He hated feeling like this. 

“I love you too,” Jooheon mumbled, “try and get some sleep, I know you need it.” He forced himself to stay awake so he could make sure Changkyun actually fell asleep. 

Somehow, Changkyun managed to drift off fairly easily after that. On the other side of town, Hyunwoo wasn’t so lucky. There was nothing he could do to keep Hoseok and Kihyun from coming to his apartment after work and getting him tipsy.

Hoseok was spread out across Hyunwoo’s couch with his legs draped over the older man’s lap. He was working on his second beer of the night, making sure he kept himself reasonable in case Hyunwoo got a little too tipsy. Kihyun of course was already a lost cause. 

Hyunwoo was staring intently at Hoseok’s calves, but he wasn’t actually paying attention to anything. He was just thinking about how much he had lost with the boys.

Kihyun was babbling a mile a minute, talking about a new investor he was working on, but no one was listening. “Is it bedtime?” Hoseok asked quietly, jiggling his leg to get Hyunwoo’s attention. 

“No,” Hyunwoo said blankly, “if I go to bed, it’ll just be worse. What I need is another beer.” He pushed Hoseok’s legs off his lap and stood up.

Hoseok sighed sadly. Kihyun had switched topics and was now babbling about Minhyuk. Hoseok smacked Kihyun in the knee causing the younger man to whine in protest. He shot him a look which gratefully Kihyun was sober enough to understand. 

Hyunwoo came back carrying a six pack, which he set on the table and pulled one can out of. He downed half of it in one go. 

“Easy there, big guy, you have work in the morning,” Hoseok cautioned. He knew Hyunwoo wouldn’t listen, but at least now he could have an “I told you so” ready to go in the morning. 

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Hoseok,” he said, “I don’t get hangovers.”

“You bastard,” Hoseok mumbled under his breath. “You aren’t so lucky so take it easy,” he said, turning to Kihyun. 

“You guys really don’t need to be here, I’m fine,” Hyunwoo said. He set his half empty beer can on the table and sat back, letting Hoseok invade his space again.

“Well I’m not leaving you alone and Kihyunnie sure isn’t driving himself home so I guess you’re stuck with us,” Hoseok said, throwing his legs back over Hyunwoo’s. He raised an eyebrow, challenging the older man to argue with him. 

“I told you already that I’m okay,” Hyunwoo said, exasperated, “besides, you have your own boyfriends to get back to.”

Kihyun opened his mouth to agree, but Hoseok quickly cut him off. “We want to spend time with you tonight,” he said, “our boyfriends will last without us for a few hours I promise.” 

Hyunwoo frowned. Knowing Minhyuk, that was false, but he could tell there was no getting rid of Hoseok, so he just sat back with a huff instead.

“Aw don’t get all grumpy now, you still have a few hours with us,” Hoseok said with a pout. He took another sip of his drink and slid closer. 

“Hours?” Hyunwoo said, “I think the fuck not. Kihyun’s already piss drunk; are you trying to give him alcohol poisoning?”

“Relax, hyung. Kihyunnie’s cut off,” Hoseok said soothingly. As he said it, he reached over and plucked the near empty beer from Kihyun’s hand, ignoring his whines of protest. 

“Why am I friends with you two?” Hyunwoo complained. 

“Because you love us,” Hoseok supplied. He downed the rest of Kihyun’s beer and set the empty bottle on the end table. 

“Do I?” Hyunwoo questioned. He grabbed his drink off the table and chugged the rest of it.

“Of course you do! You would have been much more insistent of us leaving if you didn’t,” Hoseok said, “and you would have thrown my legs off ages ago.” 

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes. “You guys really should go home,” he said again, “don’t you have a flight first thing in the morning?”

“We’re  _ fine,  _ hyung. Don’t worry about us and just worry about you, okay?” Hoseok said. He glanced at his watch. “We’ll stay for another hour and then get going.” 

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes and shoved Hoseok’s legs off his lap. “I’m going to bed,” he announced, “ _ go home _ .”

Hoseok didn’t argue that time. With one last look over his shoulder, he dragged Kihyun out the door with him. 


	24. Chapter 24

The next week went about as smooth as it could have. One afternoon found Jooheon lounging on the couch in the living room with one hand tucked behind his head. He was staring at the ceiling and just thinking. Something wasn’t right. Something was different; something was  _ missing. _

Changkyun wouldn’t admit it, but he may have been avoiding Jooheon a little bit. Since they had stopped seeing Hyunwoo, he felt a little...lonely. He no longer had contact with Minhyuk either and with Jooheon working, his days were just so bland. He was taking day trips by himself just to combat the boredom. 

Jooheon missed Changkyun a lot. He barely saw his boyfriend anymore and really only spent time with him at night. This was exactly what made Changkyun so upset not long ago, but now it was the younger man who was rarely home. Finally he decided that what was missing was the time he usually spent with his boyfriend, but deep down he knew there was more to it. 

It was pouring one day, a dreary Thursday, so Changkyun decided to stay home and mope around the apartment instead. It was just his luck that Jooheon decided to stay home too.

Jooheon knew it was selfish, but he was glad that the weather wasn’t good so he could spend the day with Changkyun. He bullied his boyfriend into cuddling with him on the couch and watching a movie, which is where they were now. But his mind wasn’t on the movie; it was on what he wanted to talk to Changkyun about. “Hey, Kyunie,” he began quietly, “is it just me or does something feel like it’s missing?” He chewed on his lip nervously, hoping this conversation didn’t go poorly. 

“What d’you mean?” Changkyun mumbled. He was paying more attention to the movie than he was to Jooheon. 

“Well we haven’t really been spending a lot of time together lately for one and everything has just felt off this past couple of weeks. I don’t know, I think I’m just being stupid,” Jooheon said, trailing off. 

Changkyun sighed. “No, you’re right,” he said, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie, “it’s been weird since...since we stopped seeing hyung honestly.”

Jooheon sighed. “But… but why? Why has everything changed so much? I don’t get it, our lives should have gotten better not more miserable,” he said. 

Changkyun hesitated. “Maybe...we miss him?” he suggested. He didn’t want to make Jooheon upset, but he knew he missed Hyunwoo quite a bit. 

“No, no that can’t be it. Why would we miss him? We barely saw him and we never spent any real time with him except for those events and dinner one time,” Jooheon said, almost willing it to be true. He took a shaky breath. He didn’t like getting attached to people, especially people he barely knew, yet here he was, missing a man he had known for less than a year. “How did this happen?” he asked desperately. 

Changkyun shrugged. “He was dependable and he was there for us,” he said, “and we saw him at least once a week for months. At the very least, we were friends, and we both admitted to finding him attractive.”

Jooheon sat there for a moment, mulling over what Changkyun said. “What do we do?” he asked quietly, “we can’t keep living like this.” 

“We could go see him,” Changkyun said, “there’s no harm in staying friends even if we don’t depend on him for money. Plus, we need to give him the keys to this apartment.”

“But, Kyunie, what if he treats us differently now? What if he isn’t as friendly?” Jooheon asked. He knew it was a stupid fear, but it was still at the forefront of his mind. 

“He wasn’t friendly to us because of the money,” Changkyun said, “he was friendly to us in spite of the money.”

Jooheon sighed loudly. It’s not like they needed to depend on Hyunwoo anymore so he didn’t know why he was so scared of this idea. “I don’t know,” he whined loudly. He turned so he could bury his face in Changkyun’s neck. “I just don’t know.”

“Going and talking to him will at the very least give us closure,” Changkyun said, “either he likes us or he doesn’t and we proceed from there. I’m not saying we hop in bed right away; I’m just saying we go and communicate.”

“Okay,” Jooheon mumbled into Changkyun’s neck, “we’ll go talk to him.” He was nervous how that conversation would go, especially considering they would be bringing their keys back, but he didn’t want to think about that now. Without realizing it, he had completely wrapped himself around his boyfriend and was clinging onto him tightly. 

“We can’t go if you’re strangling me,” Changkyun gasped out, hitting Jooheon’s shoulder desperately. 

Jooheon immediately loosened his hold, but didn’t move to get up yet. “Sorry, Kyunie,” he mumbled. He was being undeniably childish, but this was one of the last conversations he wanted to go have. 

A few days later, Changkyun and Jooheon were all moved into their new apartment and the only thing left to do was to return Hyunwoo’s keys. “Are you ready to go?” Changkyun asked, walking into the kitchen where Jooheon was. 

“No,” Jooheon admitted, “but I don’t really have a choice do I?” He put away the last couple of plates he had just finished drying and went to put his shoes on. After snagging his car keys from the counter, he reached out to take his boyfriend’s hand. 

Changkyun rolled his eyes as he waited. “It’ll be fine,” he said.

Jooheon nodded. “Let’s go get this over with,” he said, grabbing onto Changkyun’s hand and leading him out of the apartment. 

Hyunwoo was in his office, working on an important contract. His secretary was under strict orders to let no one enter his office so he was understandably annoyed when a knock came on the door. “Come in,” he said, mood evident in his tone.

Jooheon froze when he heard how annoyed Hyunwoo sounded; this really wasn’t going to go well. He tightened his grip on Changkyun’s hand and followed his boyfriend into the office. 

Hyunwoo glanced up then did a double take. “Oh,” he said dumbly, “Come in.” He moved the contract aside.

“Hi, hyung. We’re really sorry to bother you while you’re so busy,” Jooheon said as he took in all the paperwork on Hyunwoo’s desk. There was no way they could give the apartment key back today; he would just be even angrier than he obviously was. 

“No, you’re fine,” Hyunwoo said, “it’s about time I took a break anyway. What’s up?”

Jooheon paused for a moment. He hadn’t really thought of how to approach this, but hopefully he didn’t say anything to make Hyunwoo upset. “We, um, started to realize recently that we, uh, really enjoyed your company and we didn’t want to stop being friends just because our arrangement is over,” he said blunty. He didn’t plan on being so direct, but at least it saved them the hassle if Hyunwoo didn’t feel the same way. 

Hyunwoo gave the boys a look, then glanced at his contract. “Okay, look,” he said, leaning forward, “we obviously need to talk, but I really can’t right now. Can we maybe meet later? Once I get this project finished? I should be done by seven.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jooheon said immediately, “text us where you want to meet.” He stood up from the chair and reached out for Changkyun to try and hide his shaking hands. 

The meeting took a little longer than Hyunwoo expected, but he was able to get out of the office by seven thirty and ask the boys to meet him for dinner at the pub where he’d first taken them out. For old time’s sake. 

Jooheon was even more nervous walking towards the entrance of the pub than he was going into Hyunwoo’s office. The only thing keeping him from turning around and running home was his tight grip on Changkyun’s hand. 

Hyunwoo waved for attention when he saw Jooheon and Changkyun. Hopefully, this would go well.

Jooheon quickly spotted Hyunwoo and they made their way towards him. “Hi, hyung. How did your project go?” he asked politely. 

“Good, they signed the contract,” Hyunwoo said with a nod. He took a sip of his beer, avoiding looking at the boys.

“Oh, that’s great to hear,” Jooheon said. He sat there for a moment before taking a deep breath. “We are really sorry to bother you while you were so busy, but I meant what I said in your office,” he added quietly. 

“You guys have never been a bother to me,” Hyunwoo said, “if anything, you were the opposite. You do have a point though.”

Jooheon watched Hyunwoo curiously. He knew the older man was too nice to dismiss them, but that’s what he was still expecting so he was a little caught off guard when Hyunwoo agreed with him. “W-we do?” he asked awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” he added with a shake of his head. 

“Of course,” Hyunwoo said, “the fact that we stopped contacting each other was a bad assumption on my part. I’m sorry.”

“Hyung, you don’t have to apologize,” Jooheon said quickly. He turned his head down. “We didn’t realize how much we enjoyed spending time with you until we stopped,” he admitted quietly. 

“I had assumed you would no longer want to spend time with me if you didn’t feel obligated to,” Hyunwoo said, “and there’s nothing wrong with that. Please, don’t attempt to spare my feelings.”

Jooheon shook his head and looked up to meet Hyunwoo’s eyes. “That’s...that’s not the case at all. We still want to see you,” he said honestly. 

Hyunwoo felt himself physically relax. “I would still like to see you two as well,” he admitted. 

Jooheon let out the breath he was holding. He felt so relieved that Hyunwoo felt the same way that they did. He wasn’t scared of the older man walking out on them anymore, but he had to admit he was still a little bit hesitant. “To be honest, we were scared you wouldn’t feel the same way,” he said sheepishly. 

“I’ve missed the two of you more than I thought I would,” Hyunwoo said, “I hadn’t intended to let myself get attached, but I did.”

Jooheon stared at Hyunwoo wide eyed. He couldn’t believe that the older man felt the same way they did, but it was comforting. He caught himself staring and dropped his eyes again. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “no one’s ever said something like this to us before.” 

“Well, I told you I wouldn’t up and leave you and I haven’t been very good about that,” Hyunwoo said apologetically.

“Please don’t apologize. You’ve done more for us than both of our families combined. This doesn’t even come close to upping and leaving us. Trust me,” Jooheon said. 

Hyunwoo nodded slowly. “I should be completely honest with you though,” he said slowly, “I am...somewhat attracted to both of you.”

Jooheon froze. Obviously he and Changkyun had had a conversation about finding Hyunwoo attractive, but the older man feeling the same way towards them changed everything. It scared him a little bit, but he knew they had to be honest with Hyunwoo too. He still wasn’t able to look up at Hyunwoo so he stared at his hands instead. “Hyung, we...we feel the same way about you,” he said quietly. 

That surprised Hyunwoo completely. The two boys were so wrapped up in each other that he hadn’t thought they could ever have eyes for someone else, especially someone as boring as him. “I’m not trying to intrude,” he said, “I just thought you should know.”

“No, you’re not intruding,” Jooheon said, forcing his eyes up, “I’m more surprised than anything. How someone like you can be attracted to...us.” It didn’t seem like either him or Changkyun would be the type to attract Hyunwoo, yet here they were. 

Hyunwoo actually snorted at that. “I’ve seen you perform, Jooheon-ah,” he said, “and I’ve seen you both in formal wear. If anything, I’m surprised either of you is attracted to me. If your types are each other, then I’m far from.”

Jooheon couldn’t help the blush that creeped up his cheeks. “You’re so well put together, and you’re a really nice person, and you care about us,” Jooheon rambled, “and we’ve also seen you in formal wear.” 

Hyunwoo was glad the pub was dark or the boys would have seen how bright red his face was. “Should we be calling this a date then?” he asked. 

Jooheon paused for a moment and snuck a look at Changkyun. “I-I... we could,” he said uncertainly. His mind was reeling, but he told himself this was a good thing, for all of them. 

Changkyun nodded slowly. “We would like that,” he said, “we never really took the time to get to know you personally, and that was a mistake on our part, so why don’t we take this somewhere a little quieter? There’s a 24 hour cafe a few blocks away.”

Jooheon was practically shaking with nerves. After staying at the cafe well into the morning they agreed on having Hyunwoo come over to their apartment a few days later, which passed much faster than expected. They still hadn’t returned the keys to their old apartment, but Jooheon wasn’t worried about that. He was too worked up waiting for Hyunwoo to arrive. 

Hyunwoo was a little surprised when Jooheon gave him a different address from the building he owned, but he supposed it made sense that they had moved out. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. 

Jooheon jumped when there was a knock on the door. He went to answer it and smiled widely when he saw Hyunwoo. “Hi, hyung! Come on in,” he greeted chipperly. “Kyunie, Hyunwoo hyung is here,” he called down the hallway. 

“I brought wine,” Hyunwoo said, holding up the bottle as he stepped inside. Changkyun came out of the bedroom with a wide smile. “Come on in,” he said excitedly, “I made dinner.”

“That’s not going to last long,” Jooheon said with a mischievous smile. He led Hyunwoo over to the kitchen table and began setting it for the three of them. 

Hyunwoo set the wine on the counter. “Anything I can help with?” he asked. 

“You can sit down and make yourself comfortable,” Jooheon said easily. In no time they were all gathered around the table, eating the delicious meal that Changkyun has spent most of the day working on. 

“Changkyun-ah, this is amazing,” Hyunwoo complimented, “you could be a chef if you wanted.”

Jooheon nodded in agreement. “Why didn’t you think about going to culinary school?” he asked Changkyun. He was surprised his boyfriend had picked a path in computer science when he was such a talented cook. 

“Because there’s more stability and money in comp sci,” Changkyun said with a shrug, “it was the smartest choice.”

“You could always go back later,” Jooheon said. The rest of dinner was eaten in silence as they all focused on their food. When they were done, Jooheon shooed Hyunwoo and Changkyun into the living room with a glass of wine each. He quickly washed the dishes, wiped down the table, and poured himself his own glass of wine before going to join the pair on the couch. 

Changkyun scooted to the side so Jooheon could sit between him and Hyunwoo. Once his boyfriend was sitting, he tossed his legs onto his lap and kissed his cheek. “Hyung and I were just talking about how we should take the next step tonight,” he said. 

“The next step?” Jooheon asked nervously, looking between the men on either side of him. The last thing he wanted to do was take things too fast, but he was trying to keep an open mind. 

“I think we’re wasting our time with courting and dating. We’ve known him for a while and I think we should just boyfriend him already,” Changkyun said, taking a sip of his wine.

Jooheon’s eyes widened and he stared at Changkyun. “Are you sure, Kyunie?” he asked, chewing on his lip. He didn’t want to seem rude, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to add Hyunwoo to their relationship just yet. 

“Hyung said we should wait to see what you think,” he said, “if you think it’s too soon, then we’ll wait.”

Jooheon turned his attention to Hyunwoo. The soft smile on the older man’s face put him at ease. There really was no point in delaying this considering how all of them felt. He took a deep breath and made up his mind. “I think...I think we should try it,” he said slowly. 

Changkyun smiled brightly. “Great!” he said, “it’s official then! Hyung, I’m gonna need your phone number.”

Jooheon turned back towards his boyfriend and quickly found that his smile was contagious. “I can’t believe this is what it took to put his number in your phone,” he teased. He leaned forward to grab his glass off the coffee table and take a long sip of wine. 

Changkyun just rolled his eyes as he took Hyunwoo’s phone and inputted his number, calling his own phone for good measure. “Obviously, hyung and I have to be able to surprise you sometimes,” he joked. 

“Surprise me? No, no, no that’s not part of the deal,” Jooheon said quickly. He realized Changkyun was joking a moment too late and took another sip from his glass. 

“You do have a birthday coming in a few months,” Changkyun said knowingly. “Actually,” Hyunwoo said hesitantly, “mine’s in two weeks if we wanted to plan on doing something.”

Jooheon turned to face Hyunwoo again. “Yes, we should that’ll be fun,” Jooheon said, happy the attention was off of himself, “do you have something in mind yet?” 

“I usually just go out for drinks with Hoseok and Kihyun,” he said, “they’ll both be gone on a business trip though, so we can do whatever you guys want to.”

“But it’s your birthday! It shouldn’t be what we want to do,” Jooheon said, “unless you trust us to surprise you.” He wasn’t quite sure if Hyunwoo would let them plan a night out but it was worth a shot. 

“Sure,” Hyunwoo said easily, “I think you guys know me well enough to plan something I’ll enjoy.”

Jooheon smiled. “You’ll love it I promise,” he said, the wheels in his head already turning. He realized that all of their glasses were nearly empty so he stood up to retrieve the wine bottle from the kitchen. 

“Now that that’s settled,” Changkyun said, sliding over into Jooheon’s vacated spot, “is it alright if I kiss you, hyung? I’ve been dying to for a while now.”

Jooheon snagged the bottle off of the counter and turned back towards the living room. He froze when he saw Changkyun sitting practically in Hyunwoo’s lap with their lips millimeters apart. 

Instead of responding, Hyunwoo simply kissed Changkyun, soft and gentle. The younger man was a better kisser than he had expected and Hyunwoo’s cheeks were ruddy by the time they parted. 

Jooheon stood there for a moment before he couldn’t take it anymore. He quickly put the bottle of wine back on the counter so he didn’t drop and darted down the hallway into the bathroom. Maybe he wasn’t quite as ready to share Changkyun as he thought he was. 

Changkyun jumped when he heard the bathroom door slam. “Shit,” he mumbled, making to get up. “I’ll talk to him,” Hyunwoo said, squeezing the boy’s knee before getting up and walking down the hall. “Jooheon? Can I come in?” He asked, knocking on the bathroom door.

Jooheon gripped the counter when he heard Hyunwoo at the door. “I’m sorry. I’ll be out in a minute,” he called shakily. This is what he agreed to so he had to get used to it sooner rather than later. 

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes and carefully opened the door. “You okay?” he asked when he saw Jooheon gripping the counter tightly. He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. 

Jooheon pushed himself upright and took a step backwards when Hyunwoo came into the room. He dropped his eyes to the floor and wrapped his arms around himself. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry,” he mumbled. 

“Changkyun’s a little excited,” Hyunwoo said, “are you jealous that he kissed me? Or that he kissed me first?” 

Jooheon tightened his arms. “I’m sorry. I just have to get used to the fact that I have to share him now. I’ll get over myself eventually I promise,” he said quietly. He knew he was ignoring Hyunwoo’s questions, but he didn’t have a good answer. 

“Jooheon,” Hyunwoo said, taking a step toward the boy, “it’s okay to be jealous. That’s part of figuring this whole poly thing out. Changkyun’s sharing you, too, remember? I’m sure he has just as many doubts.”

Jooheon exhaled shakily and looked up at Hyunwoo. He met the older man’s eyes and nodded in agreement. “It’s gonna take a little while to get used to,” he said quietly. He was going to have to work extra hard to get over his jealousy, but he knew he would get there eventually. 

“Of course it will,” Hyunwoo said, “but we’re gonna get used to it together, alright?”

Jooheon nodded again. “Thank you for being so patient, hyung,” he whispered. He unwrapped his arms and took a tentative step towards the older man. 

Hyunwoo waited for Jooheon to come to him. “You know,” he said quietly, “I’ve been wanting to kiss the both of you for quite some time now.”

Jooheon sucked in a breath. “For quite some time?” he asked uncertainly. He knew Hyunwoo found both of them attractive, and he knew that the older man’s affections would extend to both of them, but he still had trouble wrapping his head around everything. 

Hyunwoo hummed. “A few months at least,” he said, “although I wasn’t really aware until a few weeks ago.”

“You...you want to kiss me?” Jooheon asked dumbly. He didn’t realize how wildly insecure he was until this moment. Hyunwoo was undeniably gorgeous and he was standing no more than an arm’s distance away, claiming he had wanted to kiss them for a few months; it was surreal. 

“Yes, Jooheon,” Hyunwoo said, rolling his eyes fondly. He stepped forward, unintentionally crowding Jooheon against the sink as he reached for the boy’s waist. “I’m  _ going  _ to kiss you,” he said quietly, “if that’s okay.”

Jooheon paused for a moment before nodding slowly. He must have looked like a deer in the headlights and he knew he was shaking like a leaf under Hyunwoo’s hands, but this was what he agreed to, what he wanted.

Hyunwoo could feel Jooheon shaking, but he had to assume that it was nerves, given his agreement. Even so, he moved in slowly, giving Jooheon all the time and space he needed to move away. 

Jooheon was grateful for how considerate Hyunwoo was being, and he didn’t pull away from the older man. Instead, he tilted his head up to finally connect their lips in a gentle kiss. 

The kiss felt like it lasted forever, but Hyunwoo still wanted more when he finally pulled away. “Changkyun’s probably wondering where we are,” he said quietly.

Jooheon lips were tingling when he pulled away. He just barely registered Hyunwoo’s sentence and nodded in response. Cautiously, he reached out and took one of the older man’s hands in his own before leading them from the bathroom. 

Hyunwoo let himself be led back out to the couch, where Jooheon pushed him down in the middle seat of the couch. “Everything okay?” Changkyun asked. Hyunwoo nodded with a smile, settling his arms around both of his boys. 

Jooheon let himself be tucked under Hyunwoo’s arm. The older man was so sturdy and comfortable to lean against. He felt himself relaxing and even leaned his head on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. This was certainly something he could get used to. 

Changkyun put on a movie, but neither of the boys lasted through it. Once it was over, Hyunwoo carefully extracted himself from Changkyun’s grip, carrying Jooheon to bed first. He tucked them in and left a note letting them know he had gone home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to us!
> 
> Ash:  
> @sunnyuto_ on Twitter  
> @sunnyuto on Tumblr
> 
> Michelle:  
> @thetinyjunghoseokstan on Tumblr


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